The Accidental Vampire Plus Vampires Are Forever and Bonus Material

by Lynsay Sands

  “Michael Knight have you lost your mind?” Mabel shouted suddenly. “What does it being fast or slow have to do with anything? She doesn’t want to die.”

  He looked startled by this news. “But you told Karen she was miserable as a vampire and wished she’d just died in that car accident rather than become a vampire.”

  “That was four years ago. She’s happy now,” Mabel snapped, then turned to Elvi and said, “Tell him.”

  “Actually, she’s right, Mike. I really have no desire to die.”

  Mike glanced to his wife who moved to his side and whispered furiously. When he sighed and turned back to face them, Karen took a step toward the booth and said, “I’m sorry, Elvi. You know we love you, but he’s our son.”

  “Owen?” Elvi stood on her tiptoes to get a better look at them as she asked, “What on earth does Owen have to do with this?”

  Her obvious confusion just seemed to infuriate the woman. Propping her hands on her hips, Karen yelled, “You know what he has to do with this, you…you vamp!”

  The way Karen had said vamp seemed to suggest it was synonymous with hussy, but Elvi merely said, “No, actually, I don’t know.”

  “You bit him!” Karen exclaimed as if it were obvious.

  Elvi’s eyes widened incredulously at the venom in those words, but rather than admit she hadn’t bit him, she said, “You brought him there to be bit.”

  Karen’s shoulders sagged unhappily. “It was his birthday, it’s what he wanted. Besides, I didn’t want him to go through with it in the first place.” She glared at her husband. “I told you we shouldn’t allow him to do it, but oh no, you wouldn’t listen to me. I was being a silly woman. Now we have a vampire for a son when if you’d just listened to me, just this once—”

  “What!” Elvi interrupted with disbelief. “A vampire?”

  “Now, now,” Brunswick interrupted, stepping out of the gathered crowd to make his presence known. Someone had obviously gone running to fetch him when the disturbance broke out. Now he moved between the Knights and the booth, while Edward, Harper, and Alessandro began to slip along the edge of the crowd to surround the couple.

  “I’m sure Elvi didn’t mean to do it,” Teddy said soothingly. “It was all just an accident. She’s been biting the boys in this town for five years and nothing’s gone wrong. How was she to know this time the bite would take?”

  “I don’t care if it was an accident. I want my baby back,” Karen cried. “Mike, do something!”

  When Mike looked uncertain, her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Don’t tell me you would rather our son was a vampire?”

  “Well, hell,” he muttered. “It’s not like its hurt Elvi any, and she needs a husband. Better someone from here than—”

  “Jesus Christ, the woman is the same age as my mother!” Karen interrupted with disgust. “She’s sixty-two years old.”

  Mike’s eyes slid to Elvi where she was peering around Victor’s arm. He pursed his lips. “She looks damn fine for sixty-two. And Owen could look just as good forever. Just think, Karen, you won’t have to worry about him getting hurt in football anymore.”

  Karen wasn’t impressed. “Michael Knight if you don’t kill this woman and let our son go back to being just a boy you’re going to find yourself in divorce court and I will take the house, the boat, the cottage, the––”

  “All right, all right,” he said with defeat, and then turned to Elvi and the others and said apologetically, “I’m sorry. I tried, but you can see what I have to deal with here. The woman just isn’t reasonable when it comes to her boy.”

  “Now, Mike…” Brunswick took another step, blocking Elvi’s view. “What is killing Elvi going to solve?”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Teddy! Don’t you know anything?” Karen said with exasperation. Rushing forward, she caught his arm and managed to tug him a couple of steps to the side so that Elvi could see again as she explained, “The only way to turn Owen back is to kill the vampire who turned him. So, we have to kill Elvi. We don’t want to do it. We’ll probably end up with horrible neighbors with her gone and Mabel off in Toronto with DJ, but I want my son back, dammit!”

  “You’d rather have your husband in jail for killing Elvi than have your son be a vampire?” Mabel asked with disbelief.

  “Jail?” Mike said with alarm.

  “You won’t go to jail,” Karen assured him quickly. “You can’t be charged with killing her, because she’s already dead. You’re just putting her to rest. Go on honey, get it over with. Sorry, Elvi,” she added in an apologetic mutter.

  Mike gave a long-suffering sigh, offered an apologetic glance, raised the crossbow, and said, “I’d prefer it if you moved, Victor, but I’ll shoot you to get to her if I have to.”

  Taking the men by surprise, Elvi managed to squeeze between them and throw herself in front of Victor as she blurted, “I didn’t bite Owen.”

  “Damn, Elvi,” Teddy said with disgust as he shook off Karen’s hold and moved back between Mike and the booth. “That’s not going to work. We all know you bit him. It was his birthday.”

  “Did you see me bite him?” she asked grimly.

  “No, you took him in the back room, but we saw the bite mark when he came back out,” Karen said.

  Shaking her head urgently, Elvi corrected, “You saw a Band-Aid on his neck. There was no bite. We put the bandage on to make it look like he’d been bitten so his friends wouldn’t make fun of him, but the truth is he backed out.”

  “Oh now, that’s just bad form,” Mike complained. “It’s just wrong to try to make my son look like a coward to save your own life.”

  Elvi rolled her eyes. “He isn’t a coward. Most of the boys back out. I didn’t bite him.”

  When Mike looked uncertain, Karen scowled and asked, “Then why is he turning into a vampire?”

  “He’s not turning into a vampire,” Elvi assured her.

  “He sleeps all day, is up all night, and won’t eat anything or—”

  “Oh, you mean he’s being a typical teenager,” Elvi interrupted her list of attributes. “I was a mother once too, Karen. Trust me, sleeping late, staying up late, and not eating his veggies, but instead going out and eating junk food with friends is standard procedure.”

  “He has the fangs,” Karen said grimly.

  Elvi snorted with disbelief. There was no way Owen could be a vampire. She hadn’t bit him. Besides, according to Victor, it wasn’t biting them that would do it anyway, it was sharing your blood. And she hadn’t shared her blood with anyone.

  “He does,” Karen insisted, obviously infuriated at her disbelief. Straightening, she craned her neck to try to peer over the crowd surrounding them. A look of satisfaction crossed her face when she spotted her son. “Owen! Get over here and show Elvi your fangs.”

  Elvi followed her gaze and spotted the teenager shaking his head wildly as he tried to duck behind Mr. Albrecht, the high school principal.

  Eyes narrowing, Elvi said, “Owen Knight, get over here now, please.”

  Owen peered out from behind Mr. Albrecht, eyes wide with panic. He shook his head again.

  “Don’t make me send Victor over there,” she threatened. That had the effect she’d hoped and after a brief hesitation, the boy slunk out from behind the principal and started reluctantly forward, weaving through the crowd toward the booth.

  “Gee, thanks. Make me the heavy,” Victor said by her ear, his hands settling heavily on her shoulder.

  “I’m sorry,” Elvi murmured. “But you’re scarier than I am.”

  “And I always will be,” Victor agreed. “Besides, there’s no need to apologize. This is all very informative. It tells me that ‘Wait ’til your father gets home’ will be something our children hear a lot of.”

  Elvi glanced at him with a start. “Children? Is that your idea of a proposal?”

  Rather than answer, Victor gestured in front of her. “Owen has arrived.”

  Setting aside the subject of their future, Elv
i turned to peer at the teenage boy. A small frown plucked at her eyebrows when she saw how pale he looked. Part of it was his fear, but another part wasn’t, she decided, as she noted a streak in the white by his eyebrow. Mouth tightening, she leaned over the counter and ran a finger over his cheek. When she took it away, the tip of the finger was covered with white face makeup.

  “Teenagers,” Victor muttered with amusement.

  Elvi let a little sigh slip through her lips and turned her disappointed gaze to meet Owen’s. “Let’s see these fangs.”

  Owen closed his mouth more tightly and shook his head again.

  “Owen,” she growled, “open.”

  His anxious gaze slid to Victor. Whatever he saw there, made him promptly open his mouth.

  Elvi gaped at the canine teeth revealed, and then cast her glare out to encompass the three men who had been creeping up on Mike and Karen. “Edward. Harper. Alessandro…get over here!”

  The three immortals glanced at each other, then shook their heads and gave up their positions to approach the booth. Rather than walk around to the side entrance, Edward simply swung the hinged countertop up to lean against the frame, then entered followed by Harper and Alessandro.

  “What is it?” Edward asked as soon as he was standing in front of Elvi.

  Elvi propped her hands on her hips and demanded, “Which one of you turned him?”

  “Er…” Mike moved forward to stand beside his son to remind her, “You did, Elvi, when you bit him on his birthday.”

  Elvi turned her gaze to him with exasperation. “You can’t turn someone by biting them, you have to—”

  Her mouth snapped shut when Victor grabbed her arm and tugged her backward behind Mabel and DJ.

  “I think it might be a good idea if we keep the hows of a turn to ourselves,” he murmured as the other immortals closed in around them.

  “Why?” Elvi asked with surprise.

  “Because I don’t think you want someone sneaking up on you while you’re sleeping to get some of your blood.”

  Elvi relaxed and even chuckled at the possibility. “No one would do that! These are my friends.”

  “Friends?” Edward arched an eyebrow and asked drolly, “Does that include the guy with the crossbow and arrow aimed at your heart?”

  Elvi cast a glare the Brit’s way, and snapped, “He’s looking out for his son. Besides, you’ll notice he hasn’t used it yet!”

  “God, you’re right, Victor. She is terribly naive for her age,” Harper murmured with dismay and Elvi didn’t know who to glare at: Victor for apparently saying such a thing at some point, or Harper for agreeing with him.

  “I’m not naive,” she informed them grimly. “I’ve spent my whole life in this town and I know these people. Unlike you five.” She scowled at them and demanded, “Now which of you turned Owen?”

  “My dear Ellen,” Edward said with disgust. “We are allowed only one turn in our lives. You can hardly believe any of us would waste it on that young lad?”

  Elvi frowned, knowing he was right. They would save it for their lifemate if needed, not fritter it away on a boy who had apparently got over his fear and decided to become a vampire. Sighing unhappily, she said, “Well, someone turned him.”

  “Ellen,” Victor murmured patiently. “Did you see his teeth?”

  “Of course, I did. And I want to know who gave them to him.”

  “My guess would be the costume shop in the city,” he said dryly, and then asked with exasperation, “Have you even seen your own teeth?”

  Elvi scowled. “Yes. Once.”

  “Once?” he asked with disbelief.

  “Once,” Elvi insisted. “In Mexico right after the turn.” She grimaced. “They were kind of scary looking as I recall, so I haven’t bothered looking since we bought the mirror.”

  “I forgot you haven’t had mirrors until recently,” Victor muttered and shook his head, then said, “Look, his teeth…our teeth…”

  Elvi waited patiently when he paused and frowned, and then Victor gave up trying to explain. Stepping through the men, he reached out to put a hand to the back of Owen’s neck and dragged him into the booth. He must have squeezed his neck painfully then, because the boy squealed with surprised pain. Quick as a whip Victor reached into his open mouth with his free hand and snatched out one of the fangs.

  “Oww!” Owen cried, covering his abused mouth. “That was glued in.”

  “Glued?” Victor asked with surprise.

  He nodded. “The bonding stuff didn’t work very well, so I used crazy glue.”

  “Idiot,” Victor muttered, but simply walked to Elvi and held out his hand. The tooth lay in the middle of his palm, nothing more than a cap. “They’re fake.”

  “What?” Mike lowered his crossbow and crowded into the booth, Karen rushing up behind him. The couple stared down at the fake tooth as Elvi did, then peered at each other, then back to the tooth, then to their son.

  “Owen Knight,” Karen snapped, moving toward her son. “How could you do something so stupid? Your father nearly killed Elvi because of this stunt!”

  “I didn’t mean to get Elvi killed,” Owen squawked, backing away. “I was just—Bev thought vampires were cool, so I thought…” His explanation faded away as he ducked behind the other immortals, doing a side maneuver to avoid his irate mother.

  “Ah,” Victor said wisely, drawing Elvi’s curious gaze.

  “Ah what?”

  “A female. It explains everything. Mortal males do incredibly stupid things to try to impress females.”

  “You mean like cutting your hair?” she asked archly.

  Victor grinned. “Yes. Just like that.”

  Shaking her head, Elvi slid through the men and stepped between Owen and his mother. “It’s all right, Karen. All’s well that ends well and no one got hurt.”

  “What?” Victor squawked. “You were nearly killed three times!”

  “Yes, well she knows we didn’t mean anything by it,” Mike assured him. “We really like Elvi. She’s the best neighbor we’ve ever had. I was really torn by the idea of having to kill her.”

  A burst of laughter from Edward is the only thing that kept Victor from grabbing the man and snapping his neck. The short, harsh sound drew his vexation instead and he turned on the Brit with fury. “What the hell are you laughing at?”

  “You,” he said easily, and added, “And this whole situation. I don’t envy you having to deal with this town. It will make for an interesting—but no doubt exasperating and exhausting—life.”

  Victor just grimaced, he suspected the man was right.

  “I’m sorry I called you a vamp like that,” Karen was saying now.

  “Don’t be silly, I am one,” Elvi assured her.

  “Yes, but it’s not your fault. Besides I made it sound like a bad thing and it isn’t really. You’re a lovely vampire,” the blonde assured her. “And we really do love having you as a neighbor. We were just so upset about Owen being a vampire and didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry I made Mike try to kill you. I hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship?”

  “Of course not,” Elvi gave her a hug. “If I’d been you I would have done the same thing.”

  Victor shook his head with bewilderment at how women’s minds functioned…if they functioned at all.

  “Well,” Mabel said mildly, drawing his attention, “I guess that resolves everything.”

  Victor gave a snort of disbelief. They may have solved the mystery of who was trying to kill her and brought an end to it, but there was still a long way to go before everything was resolved. They needed to talk, and then there was still the town and the council to worry about.

  “Oh, oh,” DJ muttered, drawing Victor’s questioning gaze. The younger immortal nodded to the side and Victor glanced over to see his brother, Lucian Argeneau, head of the council, standing at the edge of the crowd around the booth. It seemed those other issues were going to be dealt with now, Victor thought with a curse under his breath.r />
  Twenty-one

  “Shit,” Victor muttered, wondering how long Lucian had been there. “Elvi, come here.”

  “What is it, Victor?” she asked, returning to his side, concern marring her face. No doubt a response to the panic in his voice. “Is something wrong?”

  “My brother is here,” he said grimly, his gaze locking with the blond immortal’s eyes.

  “Oh,” Elvi said. “How nice, I’ll get to meet your brother.”

  “Yes,” Victor groaned. He could have waited a long time for this meeting. At least until he figured out how to present the situation here in Port Henry in the least damaging light.

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing for me to meet him,” Elvi said with concern. “Is something wrong?”

  “No, no,” Victor assured her dryly. “Other than the fact that we’re dead once he finds out what’s been going on here, everything’s fine.”

  “Oh, you.” She chuckled and gave his arm a slap, obviously thinking he was joking or exaggerating, then turned to glance out at the crowd milling around the booth. “He must be the blond who looks so like you.”

  Victor wasn’t surprised she knew which one was Lucian. He was the only stranger to her in the crowd.

  “Who is the pretty brunette with him?”

  Victor turned his gaze to the petite woman in white pants and a red silk top.

  “I don’t know,” he admitted slowly.

  “How do I look, Mabel?”

  Victor glanced down to see Elvi peering down at the dress she wore with alarm.

  “Damn,” she said unhappily. “I wish we hadn’t worn these stupid Elvira dresses. Do you think I should run home and change?”

  “You’re always lovely,” Karen assured her. “Both of you could wear potato sacks and look lovely.”

  “I don’t know,” Elvi muttered, her gaze returning to the couple now moving toward the booth. She stared at the woman’s elegant clothes and then back to herself, bit her lip, and then threw her hands in the air. “I need to change!”