Without You: Book 1 of the Changing Hearts Series

by Yesenia Vargas

  “The food’s almost done, mija,” his mom replied.

  “Do you have to work today?” she said from under the table. “I don’t want you to work today.”

  “I’m just going to work for a little bit. I promise. Then I’ll be back to help you color, okay?”

  She heard her sigh. “Okay.”

  Ariana peeked under the table. “Hi. I’m Ariana.”

  “Are you Lucas’s girlfriend?” she asked, not tearing her eyes away from her.

  “Um, yeah.” She had read somewhere it wasn’t good to lie to kids. “Hey, do you want me to color with you?”

  “Yeah! Can you play with me?” Before Ariana could even answer her, she ran out of the table and back into the living room. She was back about five seconds later with her slightly older sister in tow and a huge box of crayons and markers and several coloring books. The little girls opened the box and they each grabbed a crayon and began coloring.

  “Sleeping Beauty is my favorite princess,” the younger sister said.

  “I like Tangled,” the other replied, glancing at Ariana.

  Lucas squeezed her shoulder as he set the table around them, and his mom smiled at them while she rolled flautas and placed them in the frying pan.

  chapter fifteen

  “That was so good,” Ariana told Lucas as they sat down on the couch together.

  “Explains the roll I’ve been getting lately around my waist,” Lucas said.

  “Oh yeah, that nonexistent roll,” Ariana said as she rolled her eyes. She sighed. “I am so full. I don’t want to move.”

  “Then don’t,” Lucas said with smile as he put his arm around her. “We can hang out here for a little bit longer.”

  She nodded and leaned her head on his shoulder.

  His mom was in her room getting ready for work, and his sisters were coloring again, this time in the living room.

  His mom came out a few minutes later. She looked completely different. She was in a fast food uniform, and her hair was up in a bun. She also had a little bit of makeup on.

  “I’ll be back later, around ten,” she said as she gathered her purse, phone, and keys. “You two behave,” she said as she walked around with her things and grabbed a coat.

  “We will,” one sister said.

  “I wasn’t talking to them,” she mumbled as she passed Ariana and Lucas and winked.

  Ariana blushed hard and cringed into the sofa.

  “Stay as long as you want,” his mom said as she bent down to kiss each of her daughters. Ariana and Lucas stood up as she came towards them. “It was so nice meeting you. Please come back and visit again soon. Mi casa es tu casa.”

  “Gracias,” Ariana said as she gave her and Lucas a hug.

  “I’ll call you on my break,” she told Lucas as she headed out.

  They sat back down. “Got the house to ourselves,” he said.

  “Not exactly,” she said with a laugh. “But that’s okay.”

  Lucas turned on the TV and began flipping through channels.

  “So does your mom work a lot?”

  “Yeah. She works during the day Monday through Friday and afternoons on the weekend. Opposite of my schedule so only one of us is here usually to watch the girls.”

  She nodded. Something occurred to her. “Well, if you guys ever need a babysitter, especially your mom, I’m available. She looks like she could use a break.”

  He kissed her forehead. “I’ll let her know, babe. Thanks.”

  She got her phone out and texted her mom.

  I’ll be home later. Still at Lucas’s house with his sisters.

  ###

  “So you were alone at his house?” Mayra asked. Ariana could practically see her eyes pop out slightly.

  “No,” she repeated. “His sisters were there, remember?”

  “Oh yeah. But still, I bet you guys snuck off a couple times.”

  “No comment,” she said as she closed her eyes.

  Mayra laughed.

  “His whole family was really nice,” she said.

  “That’s good. Bummer his mom works so much. Sounds like my mom. What about his dad?”

  “I know he’s not in the picture. I’ve just never asked why.”

  “Oh. Maybe they’re separated or divorced. That’s what happened with my parents, except we all know my dad pretends we don’t exist anymore.”

  “I’m not sure,” Ariana said.

  “Why don’t you ask? Or is it something he doesn’t like to talk about?”

  “I’m not sure.” Ariana felt kind of dumb. “Honestly, I just feel like it’s none of my business.”

  “He hasn’t brought it up, but maybe one of these days you could just ask. I mean, you guys should be able to tell each other anything.”

  Ariana thought about that. “I guess you’re right. I’ll wait for the right time.”

  “So did you spend the whole afternoon over at his place?”

  “Yep. Just got back like thirty minutes ago.”

  “Wow. Your parents have come such a long way from last year.”

  “I know. It’s like they’re different people. But I think it’s awesome how they trust me with Lucas. I think they honestly see how good a person he is and that we’re honest, mostly.”

  “Still haven’t done it?” She was referring to sex, of course.

  “Nope,” she said right away.

  “Do you want to?” Mayra asked a beat later.

  She hesitated. “I don’t know. Maybe. We’ll see. I’ve been taking the birth control, so I’ll be ready in that sense, but I just don’t know about being completely ready yet.”

  “There’s no rush. Take your time because it only happens once.”

  She thought about that a second before another question popped into her head. “So what about you and Jimmy? Any action happening there?” she asked with a smile on her face.

  “Um, no comment,” Mayra said with a wink.

  ###

  Ariana walked into her room, ready to crash on her bed. But she froze when she saw her mom holding her birth control.

  Her mom looked at her, and all she could see was that big wrinkle of her forehead that she got whenever she was upset and the questioning in her eyes. She shook her head and stared at Ariana.

  “What is this?”

  As if the situation wasn’t enough, the first thing that popped into her head was, “Birth control, duh,” but she decided leaving her mouth to hang open was a smarter option.

  “Why do you have this? How long have you had these pills, and why didn’t you tell me?” Her mom had taken two steps towards her.

  Ariana tried to remember if she had put her pills back this morning after taking her daily dose. She always put the plastic container back in her underwear drawer. Then she noticed the pile of folded laundry on her bed. Her mom must have noticed it when putting away her clothes.

  Damn. She should have stuck it in the way back.

  “Explain yourself, Ariana. Are you having sex?” She whispered that last word.

  “No,” she shook her head frantically. “I promise. I just wanted to be ready. I promise, mom.”

  “You’re only eighteen. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I was going to. I just—I wanted to wait and be sure.”

  Both of them were still just standing there. “Where did you even get these?”

  “There’s a free clinic,” she said quietly. “I went with Mayra.”

  Her mom sighed and took a seat on the bed. “Sit.”

  Ariana’s heart was beating about a million miles an hour, and she hoped her dad didn’t find out about this. She had wanted to tell her mom eventually, but having her dad know would just be so awkward.

  “I know you’re getting older, and you’ve shown me how responsible you can be, but this is too much for me. I need to know this stuff. You’re still my daughter, and I need to know what’s going on.”

  Ariana looked down and nodded.

  “Whatever you do with Lucas
is your choice. I personally think it’s too soon to be thinking about this right now, but you’re almost an adult. All I can do is give you advice from someone who’s been there.”

  “I just wanted to be ready in case.”

  “Is Lucas pressuring you to do this?” her mom asked.

  “No,” she replied immediately. “Never. We’re taking things slow, but I just didn’t want to risk anything after…”

  “Carlos?”

  She nodded again. “We never did anything, but I—I just want to be prepared.” She felt silly saying the same thing over and over again, and her voice was shaking, but she just wanted her to understand.

  “I wanted to tell you. I was just waiting for the right time.”

  Her mom sighed again, and there was a second of silence. “You about gave me heart attack.”

  Finally, Ariana laughed a little and glanced at her mom. She was smiling a bit.

  “I’m glad you’re being careful. But like I said, it’s only been a few months. Please wait.”

  She nodded, and her mom got up and left.

  “Mom?”

  Her mom turned around and looked at her in the doorway.

  “Are you gonna tell Dad?”

  She shook her head. “This can stay between us girls.”

  ###

  It was the first day back at school after the holiday break, and Ariana and Jimmy were actually relieved.

  Even Jimmy had gotten sick of playing video games all day, and Ariana’s eyes kinda burned from browsing Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram so much. And the occasional educational website, like checking up on her UGA application status, even though it said processing every single time. She had already submitted the additional essay UGA had asked for. She just hoped it was good enough.

  She would know in a few more months if she got in after all. She still wasn’t sure how’d she deal with leaving Lucas, Mayra, and her family behind if she got into UGA, but she decided to cross that bridge when she got to it. If she got to it. There wasn’t any guarantee she would get in, and she was doubting herself more than ever.

  Ariana was about to grab some Pop Tarts from the kitchen cabinet, but remembered she was looking a little pudgier these days, probably from being such a couch potato over the winter break. Jimmy, of course, looked as ripped as ever. She went to the fridge instead and grabbed some Greek yogurt and proceeded to make some peanut butter toast. That or her thighs were threatening to not fit into her skinny jeans anymore.

  She thought about the freshman fifteen that college freshman supposedly gained their first year of college. Oh gosh. UGA better have a great gym, she thought. She made a mental note to check it out whenever she visited. She wanted to visit soon and see the campus for herself.

  “Ready to go?” Jimmy asked as he walked into the kitchen. He went straight for the cabinet where the Pop Tarts were and grabbed two packages and some orange juice.

  Ariana tried not to stare as he gobbled it all down while she nibbled at her toast. She drank some of his juice to wash it all down (Jimmy didn’t complain; he was a morning person), and got up.

  “Let’s go.” She grabbed her backpack from the living room as well as her jacket, keys, and phone.

  Jimmy was behind her.

  She heard him yawn and turned around to see him stretching. “Winter break was way too short.”

  Ariana laughed. “Yeah, I think I changed my mind. I’d rather stay here and burn my eyes all day from the TV and computer. No more learning.”

  They headed out the door. Her dad had already left for work, and her mom was about to leave as well. She was coming in from going to start up the car. “It’s cold,” she said. “Make sure you got your jacket.”

  Jimmy held his up.

  “I meant put it on,” she said as she closed the door behind them.

  “Oh,” he said. They were already at her car.

  A minute later, they were at Mayra’s, and Ariana was still trying to unglue her eyelids.

  Mayra, unfortunately, was also a morning person, so the whole ride to school involved trying to participate in their conversation despite wanting to focus on the road while keeping her eyes open and her mouth from yawning.

  “What time did you get to bed?” Mayra asked.

  “Like at two,” she replied. “I couldn’t sleep. My good sleeping habits were pretty much ruined over the break.”

  “I hate class but love school. Finally, I can interact with other people my age,” Mayra said.

  Ariana smiled. “And I’m happy to be seeing Lucas again on a pretty much daily basis. Monday through Friday, anyway. He had to work extra over the break, so it sucked not seeing him that much.”

  She glanced at Jimmy and Mayra. Jimmy was in the back as usual, but he looked at Mayra every so often. She wondered when they’d finally give each other a chance.

  ###

  Ariana parked at her assigned space at school and spotted Lucas getting out of his car a couple of lanes down at his spot. She turned off her car, grabbed her backpack, and headed towards him, leaving Mayra and Jimmy behind to pretend they didn’t have a thing going on. Even though it had been apparent over the break from when they had hung out how much they still liked each other.

  Lucas’s face broke into a smile as she approached, and she couldn’t help but do the same. He still gave her butterflies, just like the first day he walked into Spanish class last semester. The suckiest part of this semester was that they didn’t share any classes at all. They were going to resort to seeing each other before and after school only during the week, and she hated to ask him to get up extra early or stay extra at the end of the day and then have to rush off to work.

  Her smile faltered a little. They would make it work.

  Somehow.

  He pulled her into his arms. His face was in her hair, and she was sure his eyes were closed just like hers. He squeezed her. They hadn’t seen each other in a few days.

  “How are you?” he asked quietly. They began walking towards school, hands held.

  “Good,” she said. “How about you? Did you get some sleep?”

  She glanced at him.

  “Some.”

  “Lucas,” she sighed.

  “What?”

  “What am I going to do with you?”

  She sensed what he was going to say before he said it. He looked at her straight in the eyes. “Whatever you want.”

  He came in for a kiss, and Ariana hoped no one was watching because she kissed Lucas like there was no tomorrow, no longer feeling the cold.

  A few seconds later, they pulled away and kept walking, but now there was a bit of an awkward silence between them. He had never implied anything like that, not even playing around. And that’s what he had been doing just then. Just playing. But there had also been a hint of something else.

  Oh, God, she thought. Was he ready to…have sex?

  They’d made out. A lot. But hadn’t really gone beyond that.

  Would he bring that up soon? Maybe she should bring it up.

  How did you even start a conversation like that? Wait until they were about to…? No. Who knew what would happen with their hormones all riled up?

  They stepped inside the school building, and Ariana tried to focus on other things, like what breakfast would be today. That peanut butter toast and yogurt had not filled her up for long.

  They went into the lunchroom, and she saw French toast sticks (not bad) and apple juice. Eh.

  At least she had Lucas for a few more minutes before the bell rang.

  They grabbed some food and looked around for a table. The cafeteria was packed since the bell was about to ring. Just about all the buses had arrived.

  She was about to groan but stopped herself at the last minute when she saw the only table with enough room for the four of them (Mayra and Jimmy were behind them) also had Wendy and her pack of friends.

  Perfect beginning to the new year and the new semester.

  chapter sixteen

  Aria
na tried to quickly decide where it was best to sit, but apparently, Jimmy and Mayra were not paying attention because they went and plopped themselves across from each other so that the only two seats left were next to Wendy and her friends.

  Mayra glanced at her and saw where Ariana and Lucas were trying not to stare instead of sitting down. Her mouth fell open slightly before mouthing “oops.”

  They saw Wendy look at them and roll her eyes. Then she smiled like she knew something no one else did.

  Mayra looked at her like she might move to the seat next to Wendy, but Ariana strutted over and sat down before she could question herself any further. Lucas went around and sat across from her.

  No one said anything. Jimmy was just looking between them like he no idea what was going on. Of course. He began eating, and Ariana remembered the breakfast in front of her. She opened her juice carton without looking anywhere but her tray.

  She heard Lucas give a small cough, and she glanced at him. He looked at her before looking back down at his food.

  Ariana decided she wasn’t going to let Wendy have this.

  She brought her head up and tried to act normal. So what if Lucas’s ex was right here? She was not going to be the jealous girlfriend. She was not going to let Wendy get to her because of what happened last semester. She was not going to let her ruin anything else for her.

  She focused on eating and following Jimmy and Mayra’s conversation, laughing when something was funny instead of worrying about who was right next to her. Lucas did the same and relaxed.

  Soon the bell rang, and she got up with Lucas to put away their trays and head to their first class.

  First, though, she headed to her locker to grab a couple things.

  Before she turned the corner to get there, Lucas stopped her.

  He looked her in the eyes. “I love you.”

  She saw his chest rise from taking a deep breath before he kissed her on the lips.

  “Okay, break it up,” she heard. They took a step back and saw a teacher walking down the hall.

  She turned back to Lucas. “What was that for?” Although she had an idea.

  “Thank you,” he said. “For knowing that I love you.”

  She gave him a smile. “I love you too.”