Unsteady in Love: Fairlane Series #3

by Layne, Harlow

  18

  PRUE

  “Hello,” I answered a little out of breath from my race to my laptop.

  “Prue, are you alright?” Holden questioned, brows furrowed with worry.

  “I’m perfect now.” I smiled so big I thought my cheeks might split in two.

  “Yes, you are.” He grinned back at me. “I missed seeing your beautiful face these past few days.”

  A burst of laughter escaped. “Now I know you’re shitting me. I’ve looked in the mirror.”

  “Scrapes and bruises and all, you’re still beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” I blushed, unused to the compliment. “How have you been? I don’t mean to be rude, but you look a little tired.”

  There was no hiding the dark circles that marred Holden’s handsome face.

  “I was worried about you,” he answered in a clipped tone, his mouth in a firm line.

  “Why? Alex told you I’d be fine.”

  I knew she had because I’d read the email she’d sent to him from my account.

  “She’s all the way in Hawaii. How was she to know if you were really okay or not?”

  “Because after I told her to contact you, she asked to talk to my nurse to make sure I wasn’t trying to make it sound better than what it was. I’m fine.”

  Holden cracked a grin. “Because you would totally make it sound not as serious as it was so she wouldn’t worry and in turn make me worry.”

  “I hate how well you know me sometimes.” I pouted but didn’t mean it.

  “No, you don’t.” He laughed for a moment and then sobered quicker than I could blink. “Don’t lie to me. How are you really?”

  “Bored out of my fucking mind.” Atticus jumped down from the couch and came into the kitchen to drink some water. “Oh,” I exclaimed, “you haven’t seen Atticus yet. Let me grab him.”

  I ran to the mudroom where the dog bowls were set up and scooped Atticus up into my arms. Snuggling him to my chest, I buried my nose deep into his fluffy fur.

  “Here he is,” I sang as I sat down on the barstool, pushing Atticus’ face toward the camera.

  Holden’s face broke into an ear-splitting grin. “He’s cute.”

  “I told you, and he’s so soft. I just want to cuddle him all day long. Luckily, he lets me. He might be a little spoiled though.” Or a lot.

  I reached into the pantry and got him a rawhide bone to chew on before I set him down to play. I didn’t need him to find something he shouldn’t while I was on with Holden. The little fuzzball had ruined more than a few pairs of shoes because I hadn’t watched him closely enough.

  “I’m sorry you’ve been so bored, but it will be over before you know it. Then you can watch TV or movies or read. I guess I shouldn’t be expecting too many emails from you until you’re healed.”

  “I can send short ones. I’m the one who should be sorry. I shouldn’t complain about being bored. Your enlistment will be over before we know it, and then you’ll be here with Atticus and me. He can’t wait to meet you.”

  “Is he the only one excited to see me?” He had a knowing smile on his face.

  “I’m beyond excited to see you. You should have seen me run to the computer to answer your call.” I laughed.

  “You’re probably not supposed to be running,” he scolded.

  I couldn’t help but scoff. “It was all of like twenty feet from the living room to the kitchen. I’ll be fine.”

  “Don’t risk your health, Prue. It would kill me if something happened to you. When I read that email…” He shook his head. The happiness from earlier gone. “I couldn’t breathe. What would my life be without you in it? There would be no point,” he said the last so quietly I almost didn’t hear him.

  “Holden Montgomery, don’t you dare say that. Is that what you want if something happens to you? Do you want me to not go on?” I asked, furious.

  “Prue,” he sighed, “they were only words. It’s impossible for me to express how I was feeling when I read that email. I’m not going to lie to you though. You are what’s keeping me going.”

  “It’s not much longer. In a few months, you’ll be home. I wish…”

  “What?” He tilted his head, curious.

  “That when you were here, we were where we are now. I wish I would have talked to you more.”

  “While it would have been nice, I understood. I’m just thankful you’re talking to me now and giving me a chance. I know I don’t deserve it after I left you with no word.”

  Rolling my eyes, I laughed. “You knew I’d eventually give in, didn’t you?”

  He looked down, swallowing hard. “In all honesty, no, I didn’t know. I hoped with everything I had though.”

  “Oh Holden,” I smiled dreamily at the screen, “even though you look different, I still see my old Holden in there. The one I fell in love with.”

  “What if you can’t love who I am now?” he asked, looking away.

  “Are you that much different? Deep down?” I didn’t care who he was now, I’d still love him.

  He shrugged but looked thoughtful. “In some ways, I’m still the same, and in others, it’s as if I’m a completely different person. This place changes you. Seeing what I’ve seen and doing what I’ve had to do.” Holden closed his eyes, pain etched across every inch of his handsome face.

  “You probably have PTS. Anyone who’s been over there probably has it. Have you thought about seeing a therapist when you get back?”

  “I have no doubt that I have some form of PTS, but I don’t know if any therapist can fix me. I’ve heard so many stories where all they do is drug you up, making you a zombie. I don’t want that.” His lips turned down. “I know it will be hard to acclimate to the real world. During my brief visits back, the…” He closed his eyes. “Please don’t give up on me.”

  “I won’t. I promise you, Holden. I only now got you back. No one and nothing are going to take you away from me,” I vowed.

  Glassy eyes stared back at me. A smile tugged at his lips.

  “Are you okay? I wish you’d talk to me.” I sighed, my shoulders slumping.

  Talking to Holden had so many ups and downs. There didn’t seem to be a safe subject that didn’t send his emotions swinging one way or the other. Not that I minded when I said something that made him happy, but it worried me when he was upset and then went out there to do whatever he did.

  Would he ever tell me?

  “I’ve been meaning to bring something up before our next mission. I changed my emergency contact information. I put you down, so if anything happens to me…”

  “Stop right there. Nothing is going to happen to you. You’re going to go wherever it is that you go and be safe and when your tour is up, you’re coming home to me. Do you hear me?”

  Holden smiled at me sadly. His eyes held knowledge that I wasn’t sure he’d ever get around to telling me. “No amount of you bossing me around is going to protect me. I promise you, I do everything in my power to be safe.”

  “I hope so. I was talking to Alex before you called. She was checking up on me.” I shook my head in exasperation while Holden grinned.

  “I’m glad someone else can check on you when I can’t.”

  “My car was totaled from the wreck, and I don’t have any money saved up yet.” I laughed. “I don’t even have a job.”

  His brows pulled together. “What are you talking about? There should be plenty of money in the account. If not, call the lawyer we met with, and he’ll put more in.”

  “Holden, it feels wrong spending your money. I wanted…”

  A growl flew out of his mouth, and I could have sworn I felt how pissed-off he was through the computer screen. “Are we married?”

  “Yes,” I stammered from the venom in his voice.

  “Then don’t…just don’t. That money is as much yours as it is mine,” he ground out.

  “So, I can buy a bunch of Rolls Royce’s and Maserati’s if I want?”

  “If you want, but I k
now you, Prue. You’d never drive any of them. I do want you to buy something new and big so that if some asshole hits you again, you’ll be safe.”

  “So, a tank?” I asked with sarcasm.

  “Not a tank, smartass. But you need an SUV or a truck of some sort that’s four-by-four. It will be sturdy in a wreck and get you around in the snow safely.”

  “Well, you’re bossy today. Do you have any suggestions? Because I’ve had the same car since I turned sixteen.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t believe you were still driving that piece of shit car. You should have already bought a new one.”

  “There was no sense in wasting money when my car was fine to drive.”

  “You might not have a concussion right now if you had been driving something safer.” He frowned.

  I hated trying to read him through a screen. Sometimes it lagged, making it hard to see his facial expressions and reactions and this was one of those times.

  “It was so scary, Holden,” I choked out, tears building at the memory.

  “You can talk to me about it,” he tried to persuade me. It upset me that he wanted me to talk to him since I could never get him to talk to me, but maybe if I talked, he would too, eventually.

  “All of a sudden it started pouring when I was on my way home. The streets were flooded, and water was splashing up on my windshield. My wipers couldn’t keep up, and there was no place to pull over to. Then a truck coming from the other direction lost control, and that was it. I was hit. Glass broke, and the next thing I knew, an EMT was talking to me. I woke up in the hospital without my phone. Luckily, I remembered Alex’s phone number and called her from the hospital. The rest you know.”

  Holden held his hand to the screen as if he could somehow touch me, and I put mine to his. “I wish I were there so I could hold you. To have you in my arms would be a dream come true.”

  “I want that too,” I croaked out. My nose tingled as emotion built up in my throat.

  He looked off into the distance for a moment, and when he refocused on me, sadness filled his chocolatey brown eyes.

  “You have to go,” I stated as tears started to make their way down my cheeks.

  “Yeah, I have to go. I wish I could talk to you all night.”

  “Me too.”

  “I love you, Prue. Whenever times are tough, always remember I love you, and I’m coming home to you. Tonight, go look up at the stars and know I’m looking up there with you.”

  “I love you too, and don’t you forget it.”

  “There’s no way in hell that I’d ever forget you telling me you love me. It’s what gets me through the days. I’ll call you back when I can. Goodbye, Prue.”

  “Okay. Bye, Holden.” I nodded and tried to smile. I was pretty sure I was unsuccessful, but he let it go before disconnecting.

  I sank to the floor and laid my head on my knees where I cried until there were no more tears to cry.

  19

  HOLDEN

  To: nurseprue@gmail.com

  From: holdenmontgomery@mail.mil

  Subject: Talk to You Soon

  Date: June 22, 2018 4:59 am

  Prue,

  I wish I could have called you before we had to head out, but I didn’t have time, and you would have been asleep. So, when you get this message, don’t worry about me. Go to your doctor’s appointment today and get the all clear from your concussion. After that, I want you to get yourself a new car. Let me rephrase that. I want you to get yourself a new SUV that can kick the asses of all the other cars on the road.

  I’ll call as soon as I can. Until then, know that I’m thinking of you, and I love you.

  Love Always,

  Holden

  * * *

  I couldn’t hear anything but a loud ringing in my ears. I tried to gauge my surroundings, but it was difficult to focus as I struggled to stay conscious. I knew I was hurt. Badly. But I fought against the pull of my consciousness trying to determine if I was still in danger or if anyone in my squad was hurt. The only thing in my periphery was rubble and the Humvee I’d been in when the IED went off. It was almost unrecognizable as it rested on its side engulfed in flames, its frame twisted and mangled.

  Someone shook my shoulder, and my eyes fluttered open. It was Rodriguez. He knelt down beside me, and it looked as if he was shouting to get my attention, but no sound was coming out. Worry was etched into the planes of his solemn face. One side of his body was caked in dirt mixed with blood.

  My eyes started to droop once more. I was starting to slip away when his voice filtered through. “Montgomery, you’ve got to stay awake.”

  “No man, just give me a few minutes to rest, and I’ll be as good as new. How are the rest of the guys?” I hadn’t been able to get a visual on any of them.

  “Samuelson is over with Rico and Tedesco. I don’t know how badly they’re hurt, but I’ve called it in. It shouldn’t be long until we get you guys out of here.”

  “I’ll be fine. My head just feels a little wonky.” Sounds were distorted, and it was difficult to understand what Rodriguez was saying, but I managed. “I probably have a concussion, but I’ll be all right, man. Don’t worry about me. Me and Prue with our matching concussions.” I smiled, my eyes falling closed.

  He looked troubled and unsure. “Stay with me, man. Think about your wife and how badly you want to see her.”

  I wanted to see her so badly. To feel her in my arms and never let her go.

  I blinked, and Rodriguez was gone. Everything was gone. I could only see smoke as it became thicker with each passing second. It invaded all my senses. My skin burned, and I choked on the smoke, but I couldn’t move. All I could do was cough as my body remained frozen. I was being pulled deeper and deeper into myself, unable to stop from slipping away.

  Where had Rodriguez gone?

  My last thought was of Prue. Her beautiful face flashed before my eyes as I drifted away.

  20

  PRUE

  Sitting outside on the back deck, I sipped my coffee as I watched Atticus chase after a squirrel. It was early. Too early if you asked me, but I hadn’t been able to sleep. I’d tried watching a movie last night, which explained my current state of sleep deprivation. When I did fall asleep, I dreamt of Holden, but not the good kind of dream where I woke up rubbing myself against the mattress or with my fingers inside my panties. Instead, I kept dreaming he would be standing in front of me smiling, and then all of a sudden, he’d get a tormented look on his face before he started to fade away until there was nothing left of him.

  Finally, I decided to get up and make another pot of coffee. I had a feeling it was going to be a long day. I needed to go to the DMV to pay the taxes on my new car and get plates for it. I was a little nervous about going out by myself. So far, since I’d been home, Alex’s friend Josh had driven me, but now that I had a car to drive, I needed to get back in the saddle. I couldn’t ask Josh to drive me around forever.

  I made it through the DMV with only about a thousand yawns as I waited. I never wanted to go back again. Normally, I would have read on my phone, but I hadn’t gotten the all clear yet from my doctor. I probably shouldn’t have been driving either, but I wasn’t going to call and ask Josh. Surely there had to be some way to make the DMV a more pleasant place to wait. Maybe have dancers to watch. Anything would be better than a bunch of pissed-off people waiting their turn.

  As I pulled up to the front of the house, my phone rang with an unknown number. Normally, I wouldn’t answer, thinking it was a telemarketer, but something told me I needed to answer the phone. Hitting the button to take the call, I answered. “Hello?”

  “Is this Mrs. Montgomery?” an unknown male voice asked.

  “This is she,” I replied as I parked in the garage.

  “Ma’am, I’m Sergeant Bishop, I regret to inform you that your husband has been seriously injured. He’s being taken to Germany where he’ll receive surgery for his injuries and continue to stay there until he can be moved stat
eside.”

  NO! No. No. No. NO!

  Holden couldn’t be hurt. I refused to believe it. I didn’t want to believe that he could be taken from me before we were really even an us.

  “Mrs. Montgomery, are you still there?” he asked, concerned.

  “Yes, I’m still here,” I sobbed out. “Is my husband going to be okay?”

  “There’s no way for me to answer that right now. I can keep you informed as I find out more information. Since it may be some time before Sergeant Montgomery is brought back to the states, you have the right to come to Germany to be with him.”

  “I want to be with him. What do I need to do?” I asked, stumbling out of my car and into the house so I could take notes.

  Everything was a blur after I got off the phone. I booked my flights, packed, and headed to the airport. Once I was on my way, I called Alex to let her know what was going on and Josh to look after Atticus. After that, I briefly remembered going from one airport to the next. All my life I’d been afraid to fly, but my need to be by Holden’s side overrode everything in me. The next thing I knew, I was being greeted by a nurse at the front desk of the hospital.

  “Ma’am,” I sagged with relief that she spoke English. “I regret to inform you that Sergeant Montgomery has requested to have no visitors.” The nurse had the decency to look away.

  “What?” I whisper-yelled. “I’ve been flying and trying to get here for two days, and now you’re saying I can’t see my husband?” My legs felt unsteady as everything caught up; I leaned against the wall.

  “No, ma’am, you could see him, but he doesn’t…he doesn’t want any visitors,” she tried to say as delicately as possible.

  “Could you please tell him that I’m here and want to see him?” I asked, slumping into the wall.

  “Of course, but I can’t promise you that he’ll change his mind.”