The Grass Could Be Greener

by Constance Masters

  “I thought you might like a little something. We had dinner kind of early.” It had been a couple of days and things had run pretty smoothly. It was time she upped the ante a bit. He hadn’t given her more than a couple of gentle suggestions since yesterday, so that could only mean one thing – she needed to stir the pot if she was going to see him in action.

  “Thank you, Jamie,” he said, taking the peace offering and setting the cup on the coffee table in front of him.

  “Joe, tomorrow the kids have art again and I was wondering if I could take them out?”

  “Out where?” he asked.

  She hadn’t really thought it through completely. “The park maybe to sketch the trees and flowers or maybe a museum?”

  “I think the museum would need a lot more planning. The park would be fine, though. So long as their other schoolwork and chores are done first. You could make a picnic.”

  “Oh. Yeah. I could.” Or she could take them to McDonald’s. One lunch of junk food wouldn’t kill them. She smiled. “You’ve been quiet.”

  “Sorry, Jamie. I guess I’m missing Sarah.”

  “Oh?” She was unprepared for the pain she saw in his eyes. “You two must be close.”

  “Very,” he said. “Sarah isn’t just my wife, she’s my best friend.”

  “Don’t be sad. You’re very lucky,” she said before she could stop herself. “I might go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Once in her room, Jamie retrieved her iPad and lay down on the bed with it in her lap.

  “Today was a little weird. I did all the things that were expected of me and I watched the kids’ reactions to their life: their work, their chores, and their relationships with each other. Except for asking a few times a day about her Mommy, even Hannah was fine. These kids don’t seem to be behind at all with their schoolwork either; they’re smart. Hannah already knows all her letters and numbers and she’s only a year older than Sophie. Of course, Sophie hasn’t been exposed to formal learning yet. I believe there’s plenty of time for that. Are these kids going to look back on their lives and realise they didn’t have a childhood? They don’t even fight. That’s not normal, is it? Shouldn’t they be selfish? Shouldn’t they get to watch MTV and play computer games while chatting to their friends on Facebook? Being a kid is the time in your life when you get to be self-centered. This is completely unnatural.

  I felt a bit sorry for Joe tonight; he was missing his wife badly. I wonder if Jeremy is missing me.”

  Jamie gave herself a mental shake. All that stuff aside, she had an article to write and there was no room for sentiment at the moment.

  Tomorrow I’m going to push the boundaries a little with Joe. I need to see the real man if I’m to write an honest article. At the same time, I’m going to show these kids a little of a good time. Not a lot because it isn’t my week yet but just a taste. They need to learn art, so I’ll show them a way to express themselves with art.

  *****

  The clock on the laptop Sarah was working on signaled home time. “Finally,” she said. She’d started her article, but found after typing a few sentences and deleting and typing and deleting that it wasn’t easy to put words to screen. Choosing words and assembling them so they said what she wanted them to say in the same way they were in her head was difficult. She wanted the reader to feel what she felt. She’d think about it tonight and talk to Jeremy. Maybe he had some insight into Jamie’s thought process and how she set about starting each new project.

  Sarah pushed her chair in with the laptop that Amy said she could borrow overnight under her arm, but she nearly jumped through the roof when there was a voice right behind her.

  “Hi. I’m Cassie.” The woman’s hands dashed out to catch the bag that Sarah managed to nearly to drop in her fright. “Sorry.”

  “It’s fine. I guess I’m still a little nervous.”

  “I guessed as much. You haven’t moved from this desk all day.”

  “I kind of thought that’s what I was supposed to do.”

  “Well, that’s what I came to talk about. I’m Jamie’s friend. Well, one of them. I’m a photographer.”

  “Hi. Nice to meet you.”

  “Sal and I thought you might like to come to dinner with us. The three of us do it a few times a week.”

  “Oh,” Sarah said. She really just wanted to go home and see the girls and maybe talk to Jeremy about the writing thing. “I don’t know.”

  “What’s to know? You’re supposed to do what Jamie does and Jamie does this. Besides, we’d really like to get to know you and show you a good time. Call it a business dinner.”

  It went against everything she believed in, but what could she do? She was supposed to be Jamie and it wasn’t like her presence was needed at the house. They wouldn’t miss a beat.

  “Ok. Just for a little while,” she finally agreed.

  “Great! Sal’s waiting outside. We’ll start at the bar down the street.”

  “Bar?”

  “Yeah. We’ll just have a couple of drinks and then we can move to the restaurant at the back if we get hungry.”

  Sarah thought about calling Jeremy, but she realised that she didn’t even know the number.

  *****

  “Yay! You came!” a perky little woman with shoulder-length shaggy blonde hair said.

  “Sarah,” Sarah said, offering a handshake.

  “Hi, Sarah. I’m Sal.”

  “You work here?”

  “Yes, with Cassie. Let’s go get to know each other and have some fun.”

  “I’ll just stay for a little while. It doesn’t seem right to just stay out when I have a family at home. I didn’t even call to let Jeremy know.”

  “Jeremy won’t mind. He’s used to it.”

  As she was propelled along the street to the bar, Sarah couldn’t help but think what would happen if she just decided not to come home. Joe would spank the daylights out of her every day for a week. The truth was that she didn’t really know how Jeremy was going to react. She gulped. What if he did spank her? Joe had spanked her their whole marriage, but she’d never had another man lay a hand on her. She discounted the idea almost immediately. If Jeremy had been a spanker, there was no way that Jamie would be out gallivanting and leaving him at home.

  “What would you like to drink?” Cassie asked. “Tonight’s on us.”

  “An orange juice would be fine.”

  “You don’t want something a little harder?” Sal asked.

  “I don’t drink,” Sarah said apologetically. “I guess I never developed a taste for it.”

  “One won’t hurt.”

  “No, really.”

  “How about I just get a little vodka in your juice?” Cassie asked. “Loosen you up a little for the Karaoke.”

  Sarah was dumbfounded. She’d never sung Karaoke in her life. This night just got better and better. Not. “No, really.”

  “I’ll tell you what. I’ll just get one shot in there and if you don’t like it you don’t have to have it.”

  Sarah was out of arguments. She was an adult after all. One little drink wouldn’t kill her. “Okay,” she found herself saying.

  “You pick the first song.” Sal said.

  As Sarah flipped through the catalogue, she was happy that at least there was a bunch of old songs. She wouldn’t have a clue where to start with today’s music. “I don’t know, really. I could just watch you and Cassie.”

  “No way! That wouldn’t be any fun.”

  “It could be,” Sarah said. “I’m sorry, I must sound like a real stick in the mud. Maybe I should go. I’m just really out of my comfort zone here.”

  “It’s fine. I’m sorry. We’ve been pushing. Take your time. Relax a bit and tell us about yourself and if you loosen up and want to have a go later, then we will.”

  “Thanks,” Sarah said, accepting the drink from Cassie with a smile. She took a long sip. It tasted fine and warmed her tummy as it went down.

  “Sarah isn’t rea
dy to karaoke yet. We need to let her relax a bit first,” she said looking at Cassie pointedly.

  “Fine by me. Lets just get a table and relax.”

  Sarah explained about their home situation with the homeschooling.

  “It’s such a commitment, though. Don’t you ever wish you could just do something for yourself? Sal asked.

  “Not really. My husband is my friend and my kids are great company. We go on picnics and I have friends at church. Sometimes we get together with other home school families.”

  Sal and Cassie glanced at each other. “But don’t you ever like bust out and have some fun?” Cassie asked.

  “I don’t have to drink to have fun,” Sarah said. “We have fun.” She was happy with her life. She loved her husband, her kids; she loved her life.

  “If you say so,” Sal said. “Each to their own. So tell us. What do you think about Jamie’s life?”

  “It’s a lot different from mine,” Sarah said. “Jamie works. I don’t. Jamie goes out, like this. I don’t.”

  “What’s Jeremy like as a husband?” Cassie asked. “He’s a sweetie, isn’t he?”

  “He’s been lovely to me so far.” They barely knew each other, but from what she’d seen so far, he was lovely guy... and a total pushover. She kind of hoped he’d stand up tonight and tell her she should have come home or at least called.

  “I think Jamie’s lucky,” Sal said. “I’m divorced. My husband wasn’t like that. He isn’t like that still.

  “I’m sorry that your marriage wasn’t a happy one,” Sarah said.

  “I’m over it,” Sal said with a shrug. “Back to waiting for Mr. Rich and Right.” Both girls giggled.

  “Do you have kids?”

  “No. We didn’t have any kids.” Sal sobered for a minute and Sarah knew she’d hit a raw nerve.

  “Once again, sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” Sal said. “It wasn’t meant to be.”

  “All right, enough reflecting, time for another. What’s it going to be Sarah?”

  *****

  Sarah stood at the door and fished through her purse for the unfamiliar set of keys. All seemed to be dark inside except for a dim light in the family room. Uh–oh. Jeremy had obviously put the kids to bed and gone to bed himself. She wasn’t drunk by any means, but she had had a few drinks. Which were a few more than usual. After trying the third key in the lock, she jumped when the door suddenly opened.

  “Hi,” Jeremy said. “I was getting worried.”

  “Oh. I would have called, but I didn’t have the number.”

  “That’s okay. Just so long as you’re in one piece.”

  “I am,” she said, swaying a little on her two-inch church heels. “Although I’m not really used to drinking.”

  “How about some coffee?”

  “That might be nice. I can make it.”

  “No. Come in and take a seat. I’ll make it for you.”

  “You don’t mind at all that I didn’t come home and I didn’t call?” she asked, stumbling a little as she took a seat at the breakfast bar.

  “To be honest, I’m used to it.”

  “You don’t mind if Jamie goes drinking with her friends and doesn’t come home?”

  “It’s business. I understand that. I don’t like it, but I get it.”

  Sarah took a cookie off the plate Jeremy filled up. She realised she hadn’t eaten. “Business?”

  “Yes. Weren’t you at a business meeting?”

  Sarah wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t want to tattle on Jamie if she’d been doing something she shouldn’t, but then there didn’t seem to be any rules in this home, so there wouldn’t be trouble. There was no way she could tell a bold faced lie either. “It was a meeting but it was more a meeting of friends at a karaoke bar.”

  “Is that so?”

  “It was tonight. I can’t speak for when I wasn’t here.”

  Jeremy frowned. “No. Things must have been said though. Whom did you meet with?”

  “Cassie and Sal.”

  “Oh. Of course you did,” Jeremy said with a shake of his head. He should have seen this. He suspected that Jamie wasn’t always at a business meeting. He actually felt relieved.

  “You didn’t know, did you?”

  “Not really. She stays out a few nights a week and she says she’s at a meeting. Every now and then she drops the name Cassie or Sal. At least she’s not having an affair. That’s something, isn’t it?”

  “Look, I don’t think I can say much about this. I’d feel like a hypocrite. More than I already do.”

  “Why do you feel like a hypocrite?”

  “I came here to experience a different way of living and to make a little money for my family for school supplies and such. Home schooling is a luxury that isn’t cheap. So is being a stay–at–home mom. I wouldn’t change that for the world. Tonight though, I let those girls put a seed of doubt in my mind. A tiny seed but enough that I let go of myself for a while. I feel bad about that, disloyal. Are the girls okay?”

  “Sleeping like babies. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I don’t think letting your hair down under these circumstances is such a terrible thing.”

  “Maybe not, but I feel so guilty.”

  “I think this week while you’re here you should do what Jamie does, that’s what the point of this is. Don’t worry about what I think. Jamie doesn’t.”

  “Do I detect a note of disappointment in your voice?”

  “I think it may have gone past disappointment. I can understand Jamie leaving us to go for a business meeting. Hell, I can even understand her wanting to go out with her friends occasionally, but why doesn’t she want to spend time here?”

  Sarah shrugged. “I’m not sure. Cassie and Sal are good at pushing, though. Could be a little extra guilting and persuasion going on there.”

  “That’s not really an excuse.”

  Sarah sighed. She was itching to tell Jeremy what she really thought. That Jamie was pushing the boundaries because she wanted her husband to stand up to her, to put his foot down.

  “I can tell you want to say something. Spit it out,” Jeremy said.

  Dutch courage finally won and Sarah took a deep breath before letting loose. “You want to know what I think? I think you need to man up and tell your wife that going out now is off the table because after work you need her to come home and be with the family. I think your girls are beautiful, but babied so much that they’re not learning to be real little people.”

  “Tell me what you really think,” Jeremy said

  “Well, you asked,” she said.

  “I know.”

  “I didn’t mean to be mean. It’s just a little frustrating. I see a wonderful husband and father that wants a happy home but is too afraid to take charge.”

  “What gives me the right to be the one in charge?”

  “Someone has to be,” Sarah said. “I mean, it looks to me like Jamie is crying out for you to at the very least tell her that you’d like it if she stayed home and spent some more time with you.”

  “She knows.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I let her know.”

  “How?”

  He sighed. “I usually go and sleep in the guest room. She knows I’m mad at her.”

  “Hmm.”

  “What hmm?”

  “Well, if I were Jamie and I came home and found you in another room, then I would take that as rejection.”

  “I’d call it... I don’t know what I’d call it. I’m trying to let her know that I’m unimpressed with her selfishness.”

  “Or, she could think that you can’t be bothered to work on your marriage anymore.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “I didn’t say it was true. I said that that might be what she thinks.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Neither do I, but it’s a distinct possibility. What do you think is one of the major factors in a marriage that works?”

  “Go ah
ead. Tell me. You’re obviously on a roll.”

  “Okay, I will,” she said with a grin. “Intimacy.”

  “Sex?”

  “Well, that’s part of it. But no, it isn’t exactly what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the closeness you can only have with the person that is your life mate. You share your ideas, your beliefs, your thoughts and – yes – your bodies.”

  “I don’t think it’s fair to assume that Jamie and I don’t have intimacy.”

  “You’re right, but I know what I found out today and from what you’ve told me, if it’s not missing entirely then it’s on pretty thin ground. Your wife doesn’t come home every night when work finishes and you don’t know where she is, what she’s doing or whom she’s with. When she comes home, you don’t talk to her about it and you sleep in separate beds. Where exactly is the intimacy?”

  “What am I supposed to do?”

  “Something. Do something.”

  “What would happen in your home if you did what Jamie did?”

  Sarah took a sip of her coffee. “I wouldn’t have been struggling to open the door because he would have been sitting on the porch waiting for me and he probably would have marched me out to the garage.”

  “To talk?”

  “There would be talking involved but most of it would be coming from him.”

  “And that fixes everything?” Jeremy said disbelievingly. “So what ever magic words come out of his mouth you would listen to?”

  “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t get it.”

  “Look, early in our relationship we decided that this was the way we wanted to live. I wanted Joe to be the head of the house. The leader. That’s the way we started and that’s the way that works for us. Mostly we go along quite happily and there’s no need for him to do anything other than talk. Sometimes though, and if I did what I did tonight? There would be consequences as well as a firm talking to and I probably wouldn’t be quick to jump up and make the same mistake again.”

  “So what kind of consequences?”

  “He would spank me.”

  Jeremy did a double take. “And you let him?”

  “I want him to. It makes me accountable and it nails any grudge holding on the head. It gives us peace.”