Letting Loose

by Joanne Skerrett

  “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s your first time. Enjoy the view. Just keep in mind that a lot of people are not going to just bounce back from this storm like magic. Our government doesn’t send relief teams to help the folks out in the country like they do in Florida.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound insensitive.” I was sorry, but I was also growing tired of apologizing all the time. How am I supposed to just know all these things?

  “It’s all right,” he said. And we walked back onto the main road, which was now fairly busy with traffic and people walking down the road toward the capital. Others were cleaning up their yards, cutting down trees, and clearing debris from their porches. A few called out to him and he waved. They didn’t even look at me. He asked about their families and whether everyone was okay. He knew so many of these people by name. One man came up to him and told him that a tree had totally destroyed his house and everything he had. Drew fished into his wallet and gave the man all the cash that he had. I was so touched I wanted to cry. I did not deserve this man. But then I thought that was just a drop in the bucket for him. What was a couple hundred out of thirty-two million? Ugh! I had to stop thinking like this, else it would destroy what I was desperately trying to preserve: my image of Drew.

  The more people he talked to, listening to their problems and giving them advice, the more insignificant I felt. I tried to make eye contact with them, to smile, to show them that I cared, too. That I would try to be someone they could trust. But was I faking it? Would they ever accept me? I felt like an interloper. Here was the entire community bonding together after a natural disaster, and all I wanted to do was take pictures. I cared that they had lost so much, but another part of me was amazed and fascinated. I had gone through the storm with them, but it still seemed like their problem and not mine. But the voice in the back of my head told me that I was wearing a ring on my finger that pretty much said that this place, with its wild weather, was to be my new home. I’d better start thinking of this as my problem, too.

  Later, Drew went to check on Vanessa, and I watched TV. We were running on generator power because the electricity had not come back on, and according to Drew, it might be a week before it did. A news report from Barbados was showing pictures of the damage the storm had wreaked. The reporter said that Dominica was entirely without power. It would cost millions of dollars to repair the damage, plus it would hurt the tourism industry for the rest of the year. The pictures showed houses razed to the ground in villages I’d never heard of. People were replacing corrugated iron roofs and sifting through battered belongings that had flown out of their homes into the streets. I wanted to smack myself. Drew was so right. I hadn’t even thought of these other people who didn’t have generators or solar-powered homes. All I thought about was me, me, me. I figured that would always be a huge difference between Drew and me. He cared much more for other people than I ever could. I wondered if he was now complaining about my insensitivity to Vanessa.

  At least the phones were working. I decided to call Ma just in case she’d heard the news about the storm and was worried.

  “What’s going on?” she asked, sounding bored.

  “Ma, we just had a huge storm. Half the island is totally destroyed.” I was exaggerating, but she didn’t sound interested in talking to me at all.

  “That right? You okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. But a lot of people lost their homes.”

  “Amelia, when you gonna come home, huh?”

  “I told you, I’ll be home in a couple of weeks.”

  “Yeah, but you said you gonna marry that, that, Drew. Where you gonna live? Down there?”

  “Eventually, yes.”

  “With all the hurricanes and stuff?”

  “They don’t have major hurricanes every year, Ma.”

  “Amelia, I hope you’ll come to your senses. Just ’cause a man pays a little attention to you doesn’t mean you have to go running after him.”

  “Ma, Drew is not paying me a little attention. We love each other, and he’s going to be my husband.”

  She snorted. “You’re not gonna go through with it. I know you. You can’t live on some godforsaken little island in the middle of nowhere.”

  “Ma, I gotta go.”

  I hung up before she could say anything else. I wondered just how she’d react if I told her that Drew was rich. Rich and wanted by the law. Boy, she’d have a field day telling me how stupid I was to go running after a man who stole thirty-two million dollars and still lived like any old regular person. God. I had to talk to somebody who could understand; I desperately needed to hear a friendly voice. Thankfully, Whitney sounded cheery.

  “Guess who I had dinner with last night?”

  “Who?” I didn’t care. I wanted to hear from her whether or not I was crazy for still wanting to be with Drew.

  “Mr. Stevenson.”

  “Your dad? How was it?”

  “Weird at first, but then he loosened up. We talked for a long time.”

  “About what?”

  “A lot of things,” she paused. “He’s real nice, you know. Reserved but nice. He said he’s proud of everything I’ve accomplished with my life.” Her voice broke.

  “Whitney, that’s…that’s so sweet.”

  She sniffed. “Anyway, I just had to share…. What’s new with you?”

  “A lot,” I said. “But I’ll tell you another time. I don’t want to steal your moment. When are you seeing him again?”

  “No. No, tell me now. I get all emotional when I think about that other stuff.”

  “Okay. Well, I asked Drew about the passports.”

  “And?”

  I told her what Drew told me, what the newspaper story had said about him. She gasped. “Wow. Who does he think he is? Robin Hood?”

  “I thought the same thing, girl!”

  “So he’s using the money he stole, or didn’t steal, depending on whom you believe, to develop his little island. Hmmm…interesting,” Whitney said.

  “Interesting? That’s all you can say? What should I do?”

  “Do? What can you do? You want him to turn himself in and go to prison? ’Cause there’s no way in hell an American jury’s not going to convict his black, fugitive behind.”

  “He didn’t steal it!” I said. “It was his to begin with. Besides, he’s using it to do good…. It’s his money.”

  “So he says,” Whitney said.

  “You’re not helping.”

  She laughed. “All of a sudden I like him a lot more.”

  “Great. That makes me feel so much better. He has the Whitney-approved criminal edge.”

  “It’s not just that…He could be living in some ridiculous mansion with five yachts or something, but he’s not. So either he is a Robin Hood or maybe he’s just keeping a low profile for now.”

  “I don’t know, Whitney. Sometimes I worry that it’s all an act. That he’s just buying the government’s protection so they won’t extradite him. Plus, there’s the other stuff with those two guys. Something’s just weird.”

  “Come on! He told you the truth; you saw the news clipping. I’m sure the guy’s for real. Hey, and even if he were just buying off the government, that’s the way the world works. Especially in politics. You better get used to it.”

  But it’s wrong, a voice in my head said. I needed affirmation. “So, I’m not a bad person for wanting to stay with him?”

  “Not really. You guys will be like Bonnie and Clyde.”

  “Stop it! I’m being serious.”

  She giggled. “Okay. Okay. I don’t know. You have to think about it. Personally, I wouldn’t care if I were in your shoes. But then again, you’re not me.”

  “And that’s the problem,” I said before she could say it.

  I leaned back into the sofa and looked up at the ceiling after I’d hung up. As if things weren’t complicated enough! Why did I go looking in that drawer? I wish I’d never found out. I didn’t want to know this at all. I wa
nted to go back to the time when I thought the biggest problem between Drew and me was Vanessa. I would try, I told myself. I had to put all these other thoughts about morals, justice, and due process, accessory to the fact, and prison sentences out of my mind.

  Chapter 32

  The day before I was to return to Boston, Drew was appointed Minister of Education. I sat with Vanessa, Sophie, Stella, and their husbands through the confirmation hearing as other important-looking men old enough to be his grandfather asked him questions, mostly about his allegiance to the political party and the country. Senators referred to him as someone who was “full of integrity” and “devoted to the welfare of his people.” I wondered if he saw the irony in those statements, or did his mind just selectively skip over such thoughts?

  But I was proud of him. I’d never seen him wear a suit before and it hit me again that this man, my man, was going to be someone really great, and that he wanted to share it all with me. I caressed my engagement ring with my index finger. This was it. No turning back.

  We hadn’t had much time to talk since the hurricane. He’d toured the country with the prime minister, visiting the villages that had been hardest hit. The new school in the village of Delices had been decimated and would have to be rebuilt. He’d been so devastated over that it felt like Sonny had died. That had finally brought home the impact of the hurricane. I felt like I’d lost something, too. I’d seen the school almost finished; students were ready to start in September. Now it would take at least another six months before it was ready again. It was a huge loss, but Drew was resolute. “We’ll just build again,” he’d said. “We’ll start up next week.”

  That seemed to be the spirit encompassing the island. Saws were humming, nail guns popping, hammers pounding everywhere. Optimism floated in the air as people replaced roofs, windows, and rebuilt houses from the ground up. They seemed totally unfazed even though they’d lost so much and had to start rebuilding, that was just life on an island.

  I watched Drew answer each question calmly and eloquently. He was obviously made for this kind of thing. When I thought of all the plans he had for this place, I couldn’t help but think that Dominica was going to be better because of him, whether he had thirty-two million dollars or not. There was no wrong or right in this.

  Afterward, Vanessa had planned a huge luncheon in her home, which she said would also be an unofficial good-bye party for me. I tried to stay out of the limelight and let Drew get all the attention he so deserved. Everyone was congratulating us on his appointment and our engagement. I felt like a princess, heady from all the attention and Vanessa’s lavishly done outdoor party. There were waiters everywhere with glasses of champagne, an ice sculpture shaped to resemble a map of Dominica, a live jazz band, and plenty of beautiful people.

  “You look wonderful,” Vanessa purred as I stood in her flower garden trying to remember the names of some of the species. Mr. James was by her side, and it was obvious that he was now her top priority. “Red is a lovely color on you.” She smoothed the shoulder of my red silk dress, just like my mother would when I was a little girl. I was so touched. Maybe she cared about me, liked me even, in her own controlling way.

  “Thanks, Vanessa. Thanks for everything.”

  She shrugged. “You’ll be my daughter soon, Amelia. You don’t have to thank me anymore.”

  I watched her and Mr. James walk away, his hand gallantly placed on her waist. I was going to have another difficult mother in my life. The thought made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I missed Ma so much. She would have enjoyed a party like this. I saw her beautiful face in my mind and I imagined her right here, dressed to the nines, giving all the women a good reason to doubt themselves just by virtue of her presence. Beautiful Grace Wilson. I missed her so much.

  A trio of men laughed loudly nearby, and I escaped to Vanessa’s back porch with its amazing view of the ocean.

  “Hi, Amelia.” I turned around and looked right into the tanned face of Jason, Drew’s lawyer. Phillip was two paces behind him.

  “Hello.” I hadn’t even noticed that they were here. But, of course, they seemed to be everywhere.

  “Mind if we go inside and talk for a minute?” Jason asked.

  “Why? Is something wrong?”

  “No, not at all. Just a couple minutes.”

  Where was Drew? I was confused but I would go. “Sure. If it’s only a couple minutes.” I followed him through the kitchen and into one of Vanessa’s sitting rooms. Phillip walked behind me.

  “Have a seat,” Jason gestured.

  “I’ll stand.” I didn’t trust that guy.

  “Fine,” he smiled. “Listen, I don’t think I ever congratulated you on the engagement. I’m so excited for my man Drew. He’s a lucky guy.”

  “Thanks,” I said, wondering whether this was what he’d called me here for.

  He cleared his throat and pulled out a sheaf of papers from inside his suit jacket.

  “Okay, let’s get right down to business. Now, Amelia, I hardly know you but I already feel like we’re friends, so this is hard for me. But I need you to sign a few things. It’s just standard…”

  “A few things?” I was starting to see it now. A prenuptial agreement. I am so stupid!! I hadn’t even thought of that.

  “Jason, Drew and I haven’t talked about any of this yet.”

  He looked surprised. “He didn’t tell you?”

  “No, we haven’t…”

  Phillip piped in. “It doesn’t matter. You need to sign these today.” He grabbed the papers from Jason’s hand and handed them to me. I glanced at the stack of about thirty pages. I’d need a week just to read them! One thing caught my eye. The very first sheet of paper did not read like a prenup. According to the heading it was some type of confidentiality agreement.

  “What is this?” I asked them.

  Jason smiled at me again. “What did you think they were?”

  “A prenup?”

  He shook his head. “No, this is about what you found out about Drew.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Phillip sighed. “He means that Drew needs to know that you will not tell anyone about what you found. And that you won’t stake any claim to his properties.”

  “Wait a minute!” I said. What the heck was going on here? “I don’t want his money! And I’d never do anything to hurt him.”

  Jason smiled and spread his hands magnanimously. “Of course not. We know that. Drew wouldn’t be marrying you if he thought you were that kind of woman. It’s just standard legal procedure. He has to protect himself.”

  “Drew put you up to this?”

  “No, it’s my idea, actually,” Jason said, still smiling. “I’m his lawyer and I want the best for him, same as you do.”

  “So, you think I’m going to turn him in or something?” I couldn’t believe these guys. Where was Drew?

  Phillip folded his arms. “When you go back to the States, what exactly are you going to tell people? Your friends?”

  “How is that any of your business?” I wanted to smack his smug face; he was becoming more snakelike by the second.

  He clenched his jaw. “Listen, you’re not the first woman who…”

  Jason stepped in between Phillip and me. “Amelia, there’s no reason to get upset. You’re doing this for Drew. For his and your future. You see the work he’s doing down here; you don’t want anything to get in the way of that.”

  “Why didn’t he ask me to sign them himself?”

  They were silent. Then Jason said, “He trusts you. It’s me. I’m the one who wants you to do this.”

  “Well, I’m not signing anything. I’m not signing anything until I talk to Drew.”

  Jason stepped back; his face grew serious. “Okay. I’ll leave you here to think about it for a while.”

  “No, I’m through with you guys,” I said. But Phillip stepped in front of me as I headed for the door.

  “Not so fast,” he said. “You’re going to stay h
ere and think about this. Did you hear him?”

  “You can’t keep me here!”

  “Amelia, please, don’t make a scene,” Jason said.

  “Don’t tell me what to do!” I was becoming hysterical and afraid. Where the hell was Drew? What was going on? Then I heard a knock on the door. Phillip and Jason exchanged looks and Jason went to the door. He closed it behind him. I stared at Phillip. He had to be about six-two. I couldn’t get past him. Oh my God. Was I in trouble?

  The door opened before I could fully map out an escape plan, and to my surprise Vanessa walked in, looking calm as day, a huge smile on her face.

  “Can you boys leave us alone?” she told Phillip and Jason, who promptly exited the room.

  “We’ll be right outside, Ms. Anderson,” Phillip said, glaring at me.

  “Vanessa, what is going on?”

  She smiled, took both my hands in hers, and sighed. “Amelia, you’re a good girl. I really wish you hadn’t gone snooping around Drew’s personal things. And I wish he’d been more careful about protecting himself.”

  “I didn’t go snooping around his things!”

  “Calm down.” She smiled. “Do you know why I won’t have him marry any of those local girls?” She didn’t wait for me to answer. “They all think he has this money. They’re not sure about the details, but their minds are full of rumors and gossip. When I saw you, I thought: Yes, there’s someone who could love my boy just for who he is. And I thought you did.”

  “I did, Vanessa. I do. You still haven’t told me what’s going on.”

  “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “No, it’s not.”

  She sighed. “I want to make sure that Drew’s secret will be safe. That’s all. I’m not asking you to do anything illegal. Just put my mind at ease. I don’t want you going home to the States and then being overpowered by your moral convictions.”

  “Why? He didn’t do anything wrong. It was his money anyway.”