Letting Loose

by Joanne Skerrett

She paused. “Yes, that’s right, Amelia. He didn’t do anything wrong. So just sign the agreement. I’ll sleep better tonight. And so will Drew.”

  “So he knows about this?”

  She didn’t answer. “I’ll give you all the time you need to read them, okay?” She smiled at me and walked out of the room. “Phillip will be right outside if you need anything.”

  I closed my eyes as I sat down. The stack of papers felt heavy, like a set of weights in my hands. What do I do? I paged through them. It was more than just keeping quiet. They also wanted me to agree that I would stake no claim to anything belonging to Drew that was not specifically spelled out in any other agreement. I felt betrayed. Drew must have known about this. I’d been gone from the party almost a half hour; he must have been wondering where I was. I considered my surroundings. There was no window, no trapdoor. Only the door outside where Phillip stood waiting for me. I’d sign their agreement. I didn’t have much choice anyway.

  I knocked on the door and Phillip opened it. Jason was standing next to him wearing his smarmy smile. I handed him the papers.

  “Thank you so much, Amelia,” he said. “We’ll let you go back to enjoying the party. Sorry to have upset you.”

  Phillip said nothing as they walked away. I could hear Vanessa laughing out loud in the distance. I had to get some air.

  “Why are you standing here all alone?” Drew came up behind me and kissed my neck.

  How convenient to appear just now, I thought. But a plan had already formed in my mind. I would play along. “I’m just thinking.”

  “About me, I hope.”

  “Yup,” I said. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

  “So stay. We’ll have all your things shipped here.”

  “I couldn’t do that to Ma. And my students. I have to tell them good-bye.”

  “Whatever makes you happy.”

  “You make me happy,” I said. “And so proud.”

  “I’m glad I do. You make me happy, too.”

  “Yeah? How?” I wanted to hear this from him if only to reassure myself I wasn’t crazy. What we had was real until all of this.

  “I’m glad we don’t have any secrets anymore…. Before you came I was doing all of this”—he gestured toward the house where I could hear laughter and music echoing from the front yard—“for everybody else but myself. But once I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, that all changed. I want this country to be better for the people here now, but also for their kids, and our kids, Amelia. You’re not just going to be my silent partner. You’re smart, kind, passionate, organized, and you know a lot…about education, about literacy…We’re going to make a great team.”

  “I think we would, too,” I said.

  “I want you to help me make Dominica a better place. I think we could do a great job together.”

  “Drew, do you trust me?”

  He pulled me closer. “Of course, I trust you, Amelia. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be letting you on that plane tomorrow.” He shook his head. “Let’s not talk about that stuff anymore. You don’t have to worry about anything anymore. Okay?”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “Just trust me.”

  I looked in his eyes and all I could see was goodness. I didn’t see a thief. I didn’t see a scheming, opportunistic politician. I didn’t see someone who could hurt me. “Okay. I’ll trust you.”

  That night I lay awake in one of Vanessa’s guest rooms, waiting for Drew. He never came in. He’d said he’d drunk too much to drive us all the way home. I was afraid that he didn’t want to be alone with me. It was obvious to me that he knew about the papers I’d signed but would never talk about it. The party lasted way into the early hours of the morning and he never did come to my room. And before I knew it, it was time to leave for the airport.

  Vanessa was not there to say good-bye this time. She left me a note saying that she had an early appointment but that she wished me well and couldn’t wait till December, when we’d begin our relationship as mother and daughter. No mention of the previous night’s incident. Drew was bleary eyed as he loaded my bags into his truck.

  “The house is so quiet this morning,” I said, struggling to make conversation.

  “Everyone’s wiped out from last night,” he said.

  “I wish you’d come to bed.”

  “I wish I had, too,” he said.

  I did my best to fill the silence as we drove to the airport. I commented on things, like the fact that I could name the trees and flowers growing along the roadside. Drew only nodded or grunted in response.

  The winding, hilly roads did not freak me out anymore. I didn’t even jump out of my seat when a sports car came roaring out of nowhere and passed us in a 100-mile-per-hour blur. Was I almost a Dominican now? And was it too late?

  The airport was busy. A lot of tourists were flying back to the States and the UK, apparently. The airport had been closed for a few days after the hurricane so flights were still backed up. I recognized a couple from the diving trip with Whitney.

  “Drew, where you going, man?” A taxi driver, jangling keys in his hand, approached.

  Drew told him that he was dropping me off.

  “You leaving us?” the man asked, his expression confused. “I thought you was getting married.”

  “We are,” I said. “I’m just going home to tie up some loose ends.”

  The man looked doubtful. “Don’t leave my man here at the altar. You hear me, young lady?”

  “I hear you,” I laughed. “I’ll be back.”

  “And you think no one likes you,” Drew said.

  “I’ll see you soon,” I said as the last boarding call for my flight sounded overhead.

  “If I have to come to Boston to get you, I will,” he said. He didn’t seem to be joking. And I wondered if there was an underlying threat in those words.

  “You won’t need to do that, Drew.” I caught my breath. I didn’t even want him joking about that.

  “Are you sure? My mother would never forgive you. And remember the stakes are very high….”

  “I know, babe. I’ll be back.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you in three months. Twelve weeks,” he said.

  “I think I’m nervous,” I said, looking at the last of the passengers entering the gates to board the plane.

  “I’m nervous, too, Amelia. But I’ll be right here waiting.”

  “I will be back. You have my word.”

  “And you’re wearing my ring, remember that.”

  “Yes.” I said. And I signed the papers. We kissed long and deeply. And just like that my escape from reality was over.

  Chapter 33

  The house seemed large and empty when I walked in that afternoon. James and Kelly had already moved most of their furniture out. Only a couch and a bookshelf were left in the living room. Wow. This really was it. Besides my bed and a few more bookshelves, this was all I owned in this world.

  James and Kelly were really leaving. And I could either stay here by myself or go back to Dominica and be with Drew. As I looked around the almost-empty apartment, the choice seemed an easy one. There was no way in hell I could swing this rent on my teacher’s salary. I guess I could move in with Whitney for a while and then buy a house eventually. But I didn’t want to live with Whitney, which reminded me to give her a call.

  “I’m back in town, lady.”

  “Ooooh! Chica, you’re back. I’m coming over,” she said.

  I began to unpack my bags. I opened the closet door and looked at the tops, pants, and dresses that hung there. They looked like they belonged to someone else. They were so…big. It then dawned on me that I needed all new clothes. Those size 14 things would hang off me like a sack. I touched the sweaters and wool pants that I loved so much. And I couldn’t imagine any place in my new life for them. I’d never once even thought of a sweater while I was on Dominica.

  A few minutes later, Whitney rang the doorbell. We hugged like we hadn’t s
een each other in a year.

  “Whitney, what happened to you?” I asked. Something was different about her. I couldn’t put my finger on it.

  “What happened to me? Look at you! You look so fabulous, girl.”

  I followed her into the living room. What was it? It was like her aura had changed from frenetic to serene.

  “You seem so calm,” I said.

  She shrugged. “I decided to take myself off the sauce.”

  “The sauce? Your meds?”

  She nodded. “My doc’s not happy about it, but I am. I feel feelings now. It’s refreshing, clearer, like I got new glasses or something—for my emotions.”

  That didn’t make much sense. She hadn’t mentioned any of this the last time we spoke. “You think you made the right decision?”

  “Yup. I’m going to find out what it’s like to live like a normal person.”

  I shook my head. “How are things otherwise?”

  “Otherwise?” Whitney asked.

  “Yeah. With your dad?”

  “It’s going well, I think. I met his wife the other day. Still haven’t met his daughter.”

  “Your sister.”

  “It’s going to be a while before I can think about her that way.”

  “But things are moving along?”

  “Yes, I found out why he had a change of heart, though.”

  “Why?”

  “His father, my grandfather, died. I didn’t even know I had a grandfather. Apparently they’d never been close. But his sister, my aunt, called him out of the blue and told him that their father had died. He was eighty-nine.”

  “Wow, Whitney. That’s really deep.”

  “He lived in Pawtucket, Rhode Island. And I have three aunts and one uncle and several cousins. Less than an hour away. Ain’t that something?”

  I looked at her. She was so calm. Not angry. Not bubbling over. “Are you going to meet any of these people?”

  “I don’t know. It just feels so weird to know all of this. It’s good in a way. I don’t feel as lost as I used to. You know? He told me all these stories…About why he doesn’t speak to the rest of the family anymore and all I’m thinking is: I have aunts and uncles and cousins. I’m not alone in the world. All the drama doesn’t bother me at all. I think I’m even starting to forgive him for how things went down before.”

  “Whitney, I’m so happy…I told you everything would work out if you gave him a chance.”

  “It wasn’t easy,” she said. “But I…I think in time things will work out. His wife is nice, too.”

  “Whitney, that’s just so great…. I’m so happy for…”

  “What are you doing back here anyway? Why didn’t you just stay?”

  “You knew I was coming back!”

  “I was hoping you wouldn’t.”

  “I had to make sure everything and everybody was okay.”

  She snorted. “Right. We’d just all go to pieces without you, Amelia.”

  “I didn’t say that.” How did she know me so well.

  “So tell me all about the wedding plans,” she said, sipping a Diet Coke.

  “Oh, Vanessa’s taking care of everything.”

  “And you’re letting her?”

  “I don’t really have a choice. I wouldn’t know how to begin planning a wedding down there anyway. She’ll do a much better job than I could.”

  “But don’t you want to add your own personal touch? It’s the biggest day of your life.”

  “Is it?”

  “Girl, are you serious?”

  I sighed. “It’s not that big a deal. Things got kinda strange since we last talked.”

  “Really? How?”

  I told her about the encounter with Jason, Phillip, and Vanessa.

  “No way! No way!” Whitney said a few times. “You signed it?”

  “What was I supposed to do? They wouldn’t have let me go.”

  “They couldn’t have kept you there forever!”

  “I wasn’t thinking straight, girl.”

  “What did Drew say when you told him?”

  “I didn’t.”

  “What!!!”

  “I just couldn’t…He knows. The whole scene was so choreographed. I think he knows about all of it. He just didn’t want to get his hands dirty so he let his lawyers and Vanessa do his dirty work.”

  “Oh, girlie. What are you gonna do?”

  “I don’t know. I still feel like something else is missing.”

  “Like what? You mean there’s more to it?”

  I nodded.

  “Did you ever Google him?”

  “No, I never got around to it.”

  “Girl, where’s your laptop?”

  Whitney ran to my room and powered up my Dell. I stood over her shoulder as the screen came up. She typed in his name. Within seconds a page full of hits came back.

  “Wow,” she said. I sat down and peered at the screen.

  The first news story we clicked on was the one he’d shown me. Another one printed five years later by the Washington Post was much longer and quite different.

  “Oh, shoot!” Whitney said as she read the text. “This is unbelievable.”

  The more I read the more my suspicions were confirmed. The thirty-two million dollars was just the tip of the iceberg. Drew had been honest about some things; he had built the company from scratch, but once it began to grow he and his partners began to fight over the profits.

  An investigation after he’d already left the country found that he’d been siphoning off millions of dollars to various overseas accounts for several years before the company was sold. The Washington Post put the total amount at almost 500 million dollars. The IRS was also in on the investigation and claimed that Drew owed them hundreds of millions of dollars.

  The story went on to say that Drew’s lawyer was also wanted by the FBI for his role in the embezzlement. So that explained why Jason was living on the island and not in the States. They were all a bunch of criminals? My Drew. My perfect Drew.

  I bit my lip.

  “You okay, girl?” Whitney asked.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Amelia, newspapers get stuff wrong all the time,” Whitney said.

  “Nah, look at all these other stories,” I said, looking at the screen. There were more from the Boston Globe and Philadelphia Inquirer. The story of the black dot-com millionaire who made off with millions had made national news in the late-nineties. Ugh. Why wasn’t I more suspicious? Why hadn’t I done this Google search six months ago?

  “Don’t beat yourself up. You didn’t know.” Whitney put an arm around my shoulder. “I’ll leave you alone if you want?”

  “No,” I said. “I’m tired of being alone, Whitney. I was so hoping Drew would make that all go away.”

  “Girlie, we’re all alone. Even when you were with him, you were alone. Remember?”

  I nodded and tried to hold back the tears. When I was with him? All I could remember were magical, sunny days on mountaintops, in the blue sea, under a shady tree, splashing in a cool waterfall. With him. I wasn’t alone then. I was the happiest I’d been my whole life. Until I’d found out about this thing, Drew was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

  “I can’t believe he didn’t tell me.”

  “He probably didn’t want you to know that side of him.”

  “Freaking coward.”

  “Hey, babe. Everyone has secrets; some worse than others. There’s stuff you didn’t want him to know about you at first.”

  “Yeah, but it was nothing big…. I didn’t embezzle, or steal from the government.”

  Whitney sank back into the couch and kicked her skinny legs out in front of her. “I’m sorry, Amelia.”

  “I can’t wait to tell him off next time we talk.”

  “What are you going to tell him?”

  “I’ll tell him he’s a thief and a freaking coward!”

  Whitney sighed. “Normally, Amelia, I would be behind you a hundred percent, bu
t I just don’t know.”

  “What? Didn’t you read what those newspapers said?”

  “So what? Okay, he took all this money. Is he spending it on powerboats and diamond jewelry? Look at your engagement ring. That thing costs a month’s salary for me, and I ain’t that rich!”

  I looked at the ring and back at her. “So what? He’s a cheap millionaire. That doesn’t make what he did right.”

  “He didn’t do anything to you.”

  “He didn’t tell me what he did. That’s what he did wrong, Whitney. Why are you taking his side?”

  “I’m not. I’m just playing devil’s advocate. I’m just saying…Why would he tell you if he doesn’t know what your reaction would be? He could have lost his freedom when he came here to see you.”

  “I’m sure he did it for some other selfish reason.”

  Whitney sighed. “Girl, I’m not trying to argue with you. I just don’t want you getting all messed up and depressed the way you were over that ugly married guy.”

  “He wasn’t that ugly.”

  “He was old.”

  “He was forty-two.”

  “At the time, that was old.”

  “Whitney, I’m going through a crisis here.”

  “Okay. Fine.” She hugged me tightly. “I’m gonna go home so you can wallow, okay? All I’m saying is that this stuff happened over ten years ago. The guy is down there trying to do something good for his country. He’s not perfect, but neither are you. That’s it. I’m done.”

  “Go,” I told her. “I need to straighten out my head.”

  But before Whitney was full out the door James and Kelly had come in. She waddled toward me, her arms outstretched.

  “Girlie, you are so pregnant!”

  She looked sheepish as she caressed her belly. “Nice to see you, too, Ames.”

  “What are you doing out so late? How’s the new place?”

  “Couldn’t sleep. I wanna hear all about it.”

  I sat in the chair next to her around our old dining table. “How you feeling?” I couldn’t stop staring at her stomach. It was so big and round. It seemed almost apart from her. Yikes! Did I ever want this to happen to me?

  “I feel fine. I just can’t stop eating. The doctor says it’s fine. James is having a hard time with it, though.”