Saving Grace

by Merry Farmer

  She wiped her dripping hair out of her face and swallowed her anger. “What’s your plan and what does it have to do with us?” she demanded.

  Kinn responded to her overt anger with force.

  “You go back and talk to him again,” he ordered. “Make it a long talk. While he’s busy watching you, my guys will sneak in and get the women who want to go across the river to our side.”

  She shook her head and crossed her arms as the rain doused her. “No, Kinn. You’ll only antagonize him.”

  “Bullshit,” Kinn shouted.

  “What?” Mina protested. “Come on. It’s a perfect idea. You can keep the dickhead and his groupies busy and we’ll slip away without anyone getting hurt.”

  “I doubt it would work.” Grace took a step toward Mina, in the mood to argue. “As soon as Brian realizes what’s happening, not only will he react with violence, he’ll know that we,” she glanced from Kinn to Sean and around at the others from her camp, “that we’ve chosen sides.”

  “Isn’t that the point?” Mina crossed her arms.

  “I’m sorry, but I have to stay neutral. My people can’t get involved in your conflict.”

  “Grace.” Sean spoke behind her, walking level with her. “I think we might have to take sides.”

  At his words Grace turned to look to Danny. He watched her from his spot at the periphery of the scene, hands in his pockets, eyes sad and squinting against the rain. The resignation dripping off of him squeezed her throat with frustration. He nodded.

  She turned to face Sean. Kinn was staring at Danny as though debating whether to attack him or run. It was the last thing she needed.

  “We can’t take sides,” Grace restated her position. “There shouldn’t even be sides. We all have to work together now. We have to move forward. Together.”

  “Tell that to Brian,” Mina spat.

  Grace gritted her teeth and forced herself to take a breath before she smacked the woman.

  “All right. I’ll go back and try to negotiate with Brian one more time,” she conceded. “I’ll see if I can explain the importance of banding together to him another way.”

  “Negotiations don’t work with that motherfucker,” Kinn barked.

  Grace balked at his temper. If she hadn’t been so over the situation herself she might have been afraid of him. Splashed with rain, irate, formidable muscles showing through the leather vest he wore, Kinn was as intimidating as an entire army.

  “We have to handle this diplomatically,” she snapped.

  “Diplomacy’s shit,” he thundered. He slicked his hand through his wet, cropped hair and paced in his spot.

  “Kinn—”

  “You know what, forget it. We’ll handle this my way. We go in there with what’s left of our ammo and take what we want.” His men bristled, exchanging anxious glances behind Kinn’s back. “Think he’ll listen to that?” Kinn pivoted to march away.

  “No!” Grace shouted.

  She ran after him, grabbing his arm. It was as solid as granite. Kinn spun to face her as Sean and Danny both jumped to defend her. Kinn’s own men twitched as if they would disobey orders to protect her.

  “Nobody can die. We need every last man and woman if we’re going to survive as a whole in the long-term.”

  “Grace.” Sean stepped forward and tried to pull her back.

  Kinn made a fist and raised it against Sean. Sean stumbled back.

  Grace ignored both of them.

  “Give me one last chance.” She thought fast. “Let me try talking to Brian one more time. One more time. We…we might be able to offer him something that will make it worth his while to let the women who want to go leave in peace.”

  “Like what?” Mina snapped.

  “I don’t know.” It still felt wrong to let anyone else know about the advantages the treasure chests gave them.

  “You might want to offer food,” Gil offered from the edge of the group. “Maybe some kind of shelter? Furs? He’s going to need winter supplies.”

  All eyes turned to Gil. Grace’s chest heaved with worry as she took a step closer to him.

  “Yeah?” Kinn’s fury seemed to melt into his usual cocky scorn as he moved to stand by Grace’s side. “He’s got that stuff. Why would he want more?”

  “Um, because time’s running out?” Gil scratched his head and glanced from Kinn to Grace. “I’ve been calculating the lengths of days and nights. The days have been getting shorter. There are only fourteen hours and twelve minutes of daylight now. That’s a full thirty-eight minutes shorter than when we landed. We’ve probably only got a couple of months until all this temperate weather is a thing of the past.”

  Grace blew out a breath and rubbed her forehead. “So I haven’t been imagining it.”

  Gil shook his head. “Stacey tells me that Kutrosky’s survivors are living out in a field? That they’ve been storing things in ditches? I mean, I haven’t seen it, but I don’t think it’s enough.”

  “Great.” Mina threw up her hands and slumped to sit on the log. “Now Mother Nature’s out to kill us too.”

  “No one’s going to die.” Grace wiped her wet hair out of her face. She drew in a breath and turned back to Kinn. “Will you give me a chance to talk to Brian one more time?”

  Kinn blew out a restless breath. He rolled his shoulders and crossed his arms as best he could with the crossbow in his hand.

  “I still think the best you can do is distract him. But fine, if you want to go on and make a fool of yourself, go ahead.”

  She ignored his peevishness and let out a breath of relief.

  “We’ll have to put together a plan, something we can offer him.” She glanced to Mina as she spoke. “We can offer to help, but we can’t be seen taking sides.”

  “Whatever you say.” Mina hugged herself. “Just get us out of there.”

  The teeth of the crisis had passed. Gil took it as a sign that he could leave and started back up the hill, Stacey by his side giving him her colorful opinion. Mina stood and walked back down toward the river with Kinn’s men. After a glare from Kinn, Sean retreated to the edge of the forest. Danny and Kinn were the only two who held their ground, Grace in the middle. Neither of them moved. The tang of danger hung in the air.

  Danny knew something. Kinn knew something as well. Both men kept silent.

  At last Kinn narrowed his eyes at Danny, then ignored him.

  “I got something else I need to talk to you about, Grace.” He dropped his arms, the tension in his eyes hardening into heat and hunger. “C’mere.”

  He gestured for her to walk with him to the far end of the clearing where they would be out of earshot of the others.

  Graced glanced over her shoulder to Danny. His solid stance was as good as an order not to go. She pleaded silently with him. He knew as well as she did that the sooner they solved this, once and for all, the better.

  At last, Danny sighed and nodded. He watched her like a hawk, eyes full of suspicion, but let her go without question.

  She would thank him in the best way possible later, but for now she jogged to catch up to Kinn.

  “What do you need?” she asked as she reached him.

  Kinn stopped and turned to her when they were out of Danny’s earshot under the sheltering branches of a tree. He exhaled and crossed his huge arms.

  “I’m tired of this, Grace. Real tired.” His voice was a growl, just above a whisper.

  “What are you tired of?” She mimicked his tough stance, impatient to get back to her life.

  “I’m tired of this cat and mouse game we got going on.”

  Grace blinked, her chest clenching tight. “We don’t have any games going on, Kinn.”

  “Right. I come to you, you give me help, tell me what to do. You keep saying we’ve all got to come together, but you keep staying away. It’s bullshit, Grace. When are you gonna start listening to your own speeches and think about the future?”

  “I am thinking about the future, Kinn,” she contradic
ted him. “I’m thinking about everyone’s future. Yours too.”

  “Really?” he challenged. “Because from where I’m standing you’re doing a lot of talking, a lot of giving advice, but you ain’t giving me what I really need.”

  “What do you really need, Kinn?”

  Kinn smiled, hot and predatory. “We both know what I really need, Grace.”

  Her face burned red and fear churned in her gut. She could feel Danny watching her back. “No.”

  Kinn chuckled, towering over her. “I don’t think you understand the situation, Grace.”

  “I understand perfectly.” She raised her eyes to meet his with as much defiance as she could muster. “And the answer is still no. I’m not interested. My people need me.”

  “I ain’t asking you to move away from your precious people or anything. You gotta take care of what you gotta take care of. I respect that. We’ll all be together soon enough anyhow.” He shifted his weight, resting his crossbow on his shoulder with casual grace. “But my balls are gonna fall off soon if I don’t get some action.”

  She scowled up at him, acutely aware of her wet clothes sticking to her, hiding nothing. “You’re the leader. I’m sure you could have your pick of women.”

  “Yeah, I can have my pick,” he agreed, his voice dropping even deeper. “My pick is you.”

  “No.”

  He sighed and dropped his crossbow to his side.

  “All right, I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. I was hoping to be all romantic or something, but you’re not playing nice. So here goes.”

  Dread crept along Grace’s skin. She braced herself.

  “You’re always asking me if I got any problems in my camp you can help me with, right?”

  “Yes.” She swallowed.

  “Yeah, well, I got a problem all right. There’s a girl who got on our emergency ship somehow. Her name’s Caitlyn. She’s twelve.”

  “What? There weren’t any children on the Argo.”

  “Yeah, there were. The governor’s kids.”

  Grace blinked. He was right. Governor King had his wife and children with him. They had kept mostly to themselves in the executive sector. She took in a breath and refocused.

  “So what’s the problem?”

  He shrugged. “I keep telling you my men are getting restless with so few women around. And Caitlyn’s not as much of a kid as she could be, if you catch my drift.”

  The blood drained from Grace’s face.

  Kinn went on. “I thought, you know, maybe it’d be better if little Caitie came to live in your camp.”

  “Yes! By all means.”

  “But I dunno, Grace. It don’t seem to make any sense to get rid of something we don’t have so much of to begin with.” He took a step closer, towering over her. She could smell the spice of his skin in the rain. “I’m dyin’ here, Grace,” he all but whispered. “I mean, you’re the one I want and all, but little Caitie just keeps looking prettier and prettier, if you know what I mean.”

  Her stomach roiled at the thought. “You wouldn’t dare,” she hissed. “You’re not a monster, Kinn.”

  “I’m not?” He leaned toward her. “Wanna bet? You keep dragging your heels on this business with Kutrosky and being all stand-offish with me. Wanna find out how much monster is in a man when he hasn’t had a woman in more than a year?”

  Grace shook with rage and fear. She glared at Kinn, unblinking, unwilling to call his bluff. He would do it.

  He backed up half a step. “I’ll make it real simple for you, Grace. You come across the river and do me a favor. It won’t take too long and it won’t be too messy. You’ll enjoy yourself, you’ll see. I know how to be real good to a woman, real good. And you’re not just any woman. When you’re ready to leave you’ll thank me and I’ll let you take sweet little innocent Caitie with you. If not? Well, sweet little innocent Caitie might not be so sweet and innocent in the morning.”

  Grace swayed on her spot, fists clenched, jaw tight. For weeks she’d worked with him, helping him be a leader to his people, believing she was working for the good of them all. For weeks she’d let him get to know her enough to know how to nail her. Worse still, she knew he wasn’t bluffing. Just as he knew that if he made her choose between herself and a child, she wouldn’t choose herself. Every virtue she had built her life on had been turned against her, and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it. Kinn had her.

  “Promise me,” she demanded through clenched teeth. “Promise me that you will be true to your word, that you will let that little girl come back with me unharmed.”

  “Of course.” He shrugged, grin smug.

  “And I want to see her first, to be sure you haven’t done anything already.”

  “Not gonna happen,” he said. “It’s you who’s gotta trust me.”

  “Why should I trust you?”

  “’Cause I got Caitie.” He grinned. He knew he’d won.

  “So help me God, Kinn, if you or any of your men have harmed one hair on her head, then I will….” She stopped. There was nothing behind her threat. She didn’t have anything to threaten him with. The only way to call his bluff was to cross the river and put herself in his hands. The hollowness of the truth spread through her like a cancer.

  He waited, arrogance rippling off his hulking body.

  It still took every ounce of willpower she had to say, “You have a deal.”

  “I knew you’d see it my way.” His grin was so self-righteous she thought she might be sick. “Come on. We can make it back before nightfall.”

  “No.” She jerked away before he could grab her arm and drag her off. He pivoted to tower over her with brute intimidation. “I have to sort out the situation with Kutrosky first, figure out what we’re going to offer him. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

  “Fine.” He shrugged. “Think I should take Caitie out into the woods somewhere in case she screams?”

  “Tomorrow.” She had to swallow the bile in her throat before she could go on. “I’ll meet you back here tomorrow morning and then I’ll go with you. Can you keep it in your pants that long?”

  A cold smile spread across his face. “For you, Grace? Anything.”

  “Bastard,” she hissed.

  He laughed and turned to start down the hill. “I think you’ll come around in the end.”

  She watched him saunter away as if leaving a pleasant summer picnic. Her shaking as the rain continued to pour had nothing to do with the elements. She was too infuriated, too horrified to move. The restless feeling of wrongness that had followed her for weeks had exploded in her face as suddenly as the Argo. The implications of Kinn’s trap, of everything she had been working for twisting back on her, rolled over her in wave after devastating wave.

  When she could force blood and movement back into her legs, she turned and stumbled toward the forest. Danny strode to meet her. Sean stood at the edge of the clearing watching her with variations of confusion and worry. She couldn’t look at him, at either of them.

  “What was that about?” Sean tried to stop her when she stormed up to them. “You’re pale as a ghost.”

  She ignored him, grabbing Danny’s wrist and rushing down the wooded path.

  Danny shifted her grip to clasp her hand. She broke into a run. He kept up with her easily as she tore along the path, running deeper into the forest and away from the wreck. When she was sure they had left Sean far behind, she cut off the path and started pushing her way through the undergrowth toward the river.

  Her heart and her stomach ached more with every step. When they were finally far enough away from any path, within sight of the river, she turned and threw herself into Danny’s arms.

  “My God, Grace, what’s wrong?” Danny’s voice was laced with fear as he held her. “What did he say to you?”

  She balled her fists in his wet shirt. “I’m an idiot, Danny,” she seethed. “I’m a blind, naïve, stupid idiot.”

  Before he could ask any more questions, she kis
sed him with all the bitter regret in her heart. His moment of shock melted into confused passion. She circled her arms around him, digging her fingertips into the flesh of his back.

  “Grace, you’re scaring me,” he whispered, hoarse with desire. “I’m not sure if I should like it or not.”

  “I want you, Danny,” she told him, tears stinging at her eyes. “I want you. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted or ever will.”

  She kissed him again before he could ask questions. His arms tightened around her.

  “Steady, steady,” he tried to calm her. His breath came in shallow pants. He leaned away from her, but she wouldn’t let him. “What did he say to you?”

  She couldn’t answer. The mistake she’d made in trusting Kinn was too huge. She stifled her shame by reaching for the buttons of his shirt, kissing him as she undressed him.

  “Grace. Grace!” He stopped her, grabbing her hands by the wrists and holding them against his pounding heart. “What are you doing?”

  She looked in to his eyes. “I’m doing what everyone else is doing,” she said. “It’s my turn to be selfish. Didn’t you say we’d waited long enough?”

  “Yes, I did.” Desire battled with helplessness in his eyes.

  She shook her head. “We waited too long.”

  She kissed him, closing her eyes and fighting in vain to hold onto her crumbling faith that they had a chance to create something better than they’d left behind.

  “Let’s go back to the cave,” Danny murmured, his breath warm against her lips.

  “No.” She shook her head. “Here. Now.”

  “It’s raining.”

  “This could be the last chance we get.”

  His body coiled with tension. “What?”

  She couldn’t hold it inside for a moment longer. Bitter with defeat, she burst into tears, bowing her head to his shoulder.

  “So help me God, Grace, if you don’t tell me what he said—”

  “I have to sleep with him.”

  “What?” he boomed. “No!”

  She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded against his neck. “Yes, I do.”

  His arms clamped around her. “I won’t let you.”

  “You have to, Danny.” She lifted her head and met his eyes, weak with shame. “He’s got a twelve-year-old girl in his camp. He said if I didn’t go to him, then he’d have her instead.”