Love and Dreams: The Coltrane Saga, Book 6

by Patricia Hagan

  “I understand now, I honestly do,” Jade said softly. “And Colt and I would be honored to raise your baby and love it as our own, but nothing is going to happen to you, Dani.” Kissing her cheek, she stepped back and hoped her smile looked confident.

  Dani seemed at peace once the promise was made, and Jade seized the moment to end what had become a stressful visit. They embraced once more, and Jade promised to visit as often as possible before she left France; then she hurried from the room.

  Once outside, she leaned against the wall momentarily to regain her composure before returning to Drakar and Colt. If what she was feeling inside showed on her face, they’d want to know what was wrong, and right now she didn’t want to talk about it. She needed time to sort things out in her own mind. Dani was, after all, probably worrying needlessly.

  Or was she?

  Cold fingers of apprehension began to slowly wrap around Jade’s spine, and she felt a shadow of fear descending…as though something terrible was about to happen—not just to Dani, but to her…and Colt.

  Chapter Five

  When Jade returned to the parlor, she could feel the tension in the air.

  Drakar sat with shoulders hunched, staring morosely at the glass of brandy he held with tightly laced fingers. Colt was standing at the window, hands held behind his back as he looked out at nothing in particular. He turned when Jade entered, and she did not have to ask whether Drakar had told him of Dani’s request. “You agreed.” He spoke with finality, as though no discussion were needed.

  “Of course, but we’re going to pray it never will be necessary.”

  Drakar downed the rest of his drink in one gulp, stood up, went to pour another as he told them, “I’ve talked to her till I’m blue in the face, but she’s got this fear she’s going to die and she doesn’t have anything to do except worry about it while she’s lying there hour after hour, day after day. I try to spend as much time as I can with her, but…” His voice trailed off helplessly.

  Colt moved toward the door. “I’d better go in now.”

  When they were alone, Jade sat and listened quietly as Drakar welcomed the opportunity to confide his troubles to a friend. She could not think of anything to say or do that would ease his pain; knew that all he needed for the moment was the only thing she could give him—a sympathetic and understanding ear.

  Colt spent an hour or more with Dani, then returned to tell them that she hadn’t mentioned her conversation with Jade. “In fact, she was cheerful.” He smiled at Jade. “I guess your promising to do what she asked eased some of the tension. Maybe things will be better now.”

  On the ride back to Paris, Colt was quiet, deep in private thoughts. At first, Jade attempted to lighten his mood by pointing out the beautiful French vista, away from the congestion and hustle and bustle of Paris proper. Late-blooming summer flowers dotted the countryside, splashing it with color and spicing the air with sweet fragrance. It was a gorgeous day. A gentle wind blew puffy fingers of snowy-white clouds across the tinted cobalt sky. The sun was a teasing peach-and-golden orb, sending warmth in peekaboo waves as the open carriage passed beneath the leafy branches overhanging the curving road.

  Finally, with a sigh of resolution, Jade settled back to enjoy the scenic ride without further intruding upon Colt’s meditation. She had an idea why he was so deeply within himself. No doubt he was worrying that now was not the time to leave his family. This plunged her into a troubled muse of her own, for how would she react if he suggested they postpone their departure? She was excited over the prospects of a new life, away from memories that held little joy. If Colt did make such a suggestion, could she do the noble thing and agree…or be honest and tell him she thought they should get on with their own lives? Kitty was strong. Dani had Drakar. And now they had each other…and their future together.

  Dani’s request continued to prey on her mind, and she could understand why the wretched soul felt that way. She recalled how, that very afternoon, the maid who’d served her tea, while Colt was in with Dani, had looked at Drakar with open adoration on her young and pretty face. He was legend with women. Ever since she’d known him, which was a long time, women flocked about him, threw themselves at his feet. It was probably no different now, even though he was married, and would get worse were he a widower. He would be a prime target for conniving females after a rich husband. They’d pretend to love the baby and make all sorts of promises just to snare him, only to later turn into the evil, jealous stepmother Dani feared. True, it was possible he might find one good heart who would love the child as her own, but the risk was too great in Dani’s eyes.

  Jade shook herself in an attempt to fling away such thoughts. Nothing was going to happen to Dani, but she wondered at that strange coldness that was now enveloping her once again; why did she have this terrifying premonition that something bad was going to happen to somebody?

  Just as they reached the gates of the Coltrane mansion, Colt suddenly turned to Jade and in an imploring voice, eyes shaded with worry, said, “Let’s not mention anything about what Dani asked. We don’t want to upset them, especially Pa.”

  “Of course,” Jade was quick to agree.

  She reached out to touch his hand, and he wrapped his arms about her, kissed her forehead. “I love you so much, my princess.”

  “And I love you,” she responded huskily, blinking back tears and not knowing why she felt like crying.

  They found Travis sitting on the terrace that overlooked Kitty’s prize rose garden at the rear of the mansion. He looked, Jade decided at once, hearty and fit, except for slight shadows beneath his eyes. He was not wearing the robe and slippers she’d expected but was attractively dressed in casual gray trousers and a shirt of soft blue cotton. He stood up, embraced Jade, kissed both her cheeks, and said, “You’re even more beautiful than at the wedding,” then shook hands with Colt, gave him a hearty slap on his back, and laughed. “And you’re even uglier!”

  Jade couldn’t help exclaiming, “You look wonderful!”

  “Of course,” he assured her, gesturing for them to join him at the wrought-iron table, where he’d been enjoying afternoon wine and cheese. “Just because a few Reb balls are moving around in my chest doesn’t mean I’m done for. They couldn’t kill me thirty years ago, and I’ll be damned if I’ll give up now without another fight.”

  They enjoyed a glass of wine as they told him of their honeymoon cruise. He was, Jade noted, especially interested in hearing of their travels in Greece, but she remembered he’d been there with Colt, when Colt went after Briana, Gavin Mason, and the Coltrane fortune.

  Eventually, the conversation turned to Dani, and they glossed over the situation as much as possible. Travis listened, raised an eyebrow, then echoed aloud the thoughts of all, “Let’s pray everything turns out all right.”

  Kitty waved from where she was pruning late summer blossoms, and Colt left them to join her. Travis watched him leave, then bluntly asked Jade, “Well, did you promise to raise the baby if Dani doesn’t make it?”

  She gasped and turned to stare at him in amazement. “How did you know she asked me about that?”

  He reached to touch her cheek with gentle fingertips and smiled sadly. “We’ve gotten to know each other, my little girl and me, and she talks to her old pa now and tells him what makes her heart cry.”

  “Travis,” Jade dared to point out, “I think you’ve been doing a lot of needless worrying.”

  He gave her a sharp look, unused to anyone besides his wife daring to criticize—or disagree.

  Jade, undaunted and seldom intimidated, plunged on. “It seems to me that’s all this family is doing lately—worrying about everybody else. Kitty worries about you and Dani. Dani worries about her baby. Drakar worries about Dani. You worry about them all…and Colt worries about everybody including you.”

  “That happens to be the way it is when families love each other, Jade,” Travis said a bit gruffly.

  “But needlessly? When you can’t do a
nything about it?” He stared at her thoughtfully for a moment; then, with his usual astuteness that never failed to astound those around him, he quietly pronounced, without accusation or condemnation, “You’re afraid Colt is going to want to postpone leaving for America.”

  “That’s true,” Jade replied softly. “Quite frankly, I don’t know how I’m going to react if he suggests it.”

  “You’re going to be honest with him.”

  She gave him a wry smile. “I am? And what, sir, is my honest feeling on the matter?”

  “Don’t play games with me, Jade,” Travis said almost sharply. “One of the reasons I respect you is your honesty. You want to leave as planned, and deep down, you don’t really think that’s being selfish. You and Colt are married now, and you feel your marriage should come before family. I agree.”

  She eyed him suspiciously.

  “If I thought you were wrong, I’d say so,” he went on. “If the family really needed Colt, and he could help out in some way, and you still resisted postponing things, then I’d say you were a selfish little brat. But we both know there’s nothing he can do. If and when the time comes, be the strong woman I know you are, and be true to yourself.”

  He reached for her hand and held it to his lips. Then he sat back, steepled his fingers, and stared beneath the cathedral he’d built at Kitty and Colt walking and talking in the distance. “I’m like any man reaching the sunset of his life, Jade,” he quietly said. “It’s hard to look over my shoulder and remember many rainbows. They seem to be obscured by the storm clouds of sad memories. But I am going to die one day, and I don’t want to have my son hovering around till my life ends to begin his. It might make me die quicker to get out of his way.”

  Jade thought how much she loved this man, as if he were the father she’d never really known. True, their relationship had been growing for only a short time, but Travis was the kind who either became a friend to someone or disregarded him, and when the decision was one of friendship, nothing was held back.

  She stood up, then leaned forward to place a gentle hand on each side of his handsome face. In a tremulous whisper, she declared, “I love you, Travis Coltrane.”

  For one fleeting second, like the whisper of a butterfly’s wing, his gray eyes veiled with emotion. Then the melancholy time passed. With a smile from his heart, he said, “Hearing that, princess, makes me see the rainbows.”

  Colt spent the remainder of the afternoon with his father, and Jade enjoyed a quiet time with Kitty. After dinner, when she and Colt retired to the privacy of their suite, he became moody once more. For a while she allowed him to be alone with his thoughts; then she decided it was time for everything to be brought into the open.

  She went to where he sat on the divan before a cold and empty fireplace. “Talk to me, Colt. Tell me how you think it best if we don’t leave just yet.”

  He turned to stare at her incredulously.

  She did not give him time to speak, but went on firmly. “I think it would be wrong. I want to go ahead with our plans, and your family doesn’t really need you. You think they do, but they don’t. They’ve got their own lives and their own future, good or bad, just as we do. I need you. Please, don’t think me selfish, Colt,” she implored him with beseeching eyes.

  Colt stared at her for long moments, and she tried in vain to guess his thoughts. She could not see anger or disappointment, only love.

  Finally, when she thought she could stand the torment no longer, he drew her into his arms. “I love you,” he said tersely, his lips melting against hers in a long, soul- scorching kiss that left both of them shaken. Then he gazed at her with so much adoration that she felt a shuddering deep within.

  “I love you,” he repeated, then added with a soft laugh and a gleam-in his eye, “but you aren’t as sharp as you think you are—Pa and I had a long talk this afternoon.”

  It was Jade’s turn to be astonished. “I don’t understand.”

  He kissed the tip of her nose, then informed her matter-of-factly, “I never thought about postponing our leaving.”

  “But you’ve been so preoccupied and worried,” she argued.

  Again he laughed. “But I wasn’t thinking about postponing the trip. I was wondering why I didn’t feel guilty when I thought I should. Then I realized my family doesn’t expect me to set aside my future for their problems, not when there’s nothing I can do other than give them moral support.”

  Jade was at last able to smile with relief. Colt stood up, took her hand, and led her into the bedroom, where he began to undress her with nimble, eager fingers. All the while, as Jade also unfastened his shirt, helped him to disrobe, their gaze was locked together in a silent message of desire.

  When they were naked, Colt began to trail warm lips down her neck, shoulders, then kissed her breasts, each nipple in turn, finally trailing a path of fire down her belly with his tongue. He dropped to his knees, hands cupping her buttocks as he burrowed his face hungrily against the furry blossom of her womanhood. Her fingers laced about the back of his head, and she arched her neck and moaned out loud.

  And when at last he laid her on the bed and entered her and once more they became one, Jade knew there had never been a greater passion, a greater love.

  Chapter Six

  Jade and Colt arrived by train at the tip of Normandy’s Cotentin peninsula, one day before their ship was scheduled to sail from the cross-channel port of Cherbourg.

  Kitty and Travis had seen them off in Paris, and the goodbyes had been emotional, for not one of them could say whether they would ever meet again.

  Jade found the harbor at Cherbourg delightful, with its preponderance of steamers and ships of all description. There were tugs and small boats, and yachts and pleasure boats riding at anchor. Seagulls darted and sang in their endless search for food, and a sharp yet sweet wind howled from across the channel.

  The port city, however, was dirty and depressing, its dark and dingy streets crowded by poorer than poor. Men, haggard and drunk, stumbled in alleyways or slept in doorways. Women, babies suckling at their breasts, sat on slimy street corners with a hand outstretched, begging passersby for money. Dirty, sick children roamed about, also begging. There were taverns and greasy cafes, and the whole area seemed to be bordered and walled by signs advertising the shipping lines—Cunard, Brunel, White Star, Great Eastern.

  Colt took Jade to the nicest hotel he could find, where they remained safely ensconced till sailing time.

  Their ship was the Le Paris, not as grand as some of Cunard’s fleets or the vessels of the White Star Line, for it was owned by a smaller company being slowly squeezed out by the magnates. Still, it was comfortable, as Jade discovered once they were on board, and she and Colt took a grand tour.

  They knew that the dangers of an Atlantic crossing had receded as better technology was developed. More liners offered all the comforts of a first-class hotel. Oil lamps had been abolished at last, and the brilliance of electric lighting shone out, the power coming from generators. There was even an ice room with a capacity for forty tons of frozen water that would take at least two weeks to melt, making it possible to preserve all kinds of previously unavailable delicacies for a crossing that would last nearly three weeks.

  Jade and Colt passed through the attractive and comfortable public rooms, with sofas and chairs in brocade and plush upholstery. Vases of fresh flowers had been placed on the marble-topped tables that seemed to occupy every space where there was not a chair or sofa. Ornate mirrors, stunning tapestries, and quality paintings adorned the walls.

  They nodded in greeting to other couples walking the rooms and decks, inspecting their home for the next few weeks. There were men in top hats and tails, and ladies in ostrich-feathered hats and velvet dresses, tailored or rib-boned bustles, flouncing side to side as they walked regally.

  Colt remarked, “Seeing all this, it’s hard to imagine that just a few decks below there are people crowded in like rats, sleeping on raw hardwood floors, eating
leftovers from the first-class dining room, drinking water out of buckets…men, women, children, all packed together with no privacy.”

  Jade empathized and asked, “Does it make you feel guilty that we have so much, that we travel in style, while they travel in squalor?”

  Colt thought a moment, then said, “On one hand, yes, because I don’t like to think of any human suffering, but on the other hand, I have to remind myself that no one makes enough money to make everybody rich. There are always going to be classes of people, and fortunately, we’re a member of the richer class. When we get to America, where there’s a financial crisis going on, I think we’re going to be reminded of that fact a lot.”

  Jade agreed. “I’m grateful for what we have. Sadly, it’s true we can’t make it possible for everyone to have what we have, but at least we aren’t snobs.

  “I suppose,” she went on to confide, “that’s why being titled a princess didn’t really impress me. The Czar was being kind, but quite frankly, I’ve never cared for the status of royalty versus commoner.”

  Colt laughed softly, gazed down at her adoringly. “Well, my dear Mrs. Coltrane, I’m afraid that’s the position you’re going to find yourself in when we reach New York—royalty among commoners.”

  They found their quarters, on the prestigious promenade deck, to be comfortable in size. There was a parlor, bedroom, dressing room, private bath—and Jade thought the decor was beautiful.

  The ship sailed at sunset, and Jade and Colt stood at the railing, arms about each other, watching in silence as the shoreline of France slipped farther and farther into the distance. Finally, they were wrapped by the sea, the sky fading to blend amidst the deep greenish blue of the ocean.

  The journey to America had begun.

  The sound of bells gently chimed, giving signal that dinner was being served in the first-class dining room. Both admitted being famished after having no more to eat all day than the dainty finger foods offered in abundance, along with endless-flowing champagne, by the ship’s uniformed stewards.