The Rise and Fall of a Theater Geek

by Seth Rudetsky

“How’d you find out?” I asked.

  “They called Hubert this morning. He’s also my manager, you know”—WHY?!—“and he broke the news to me over the phone.”

  “Oh?” I said, wondering if Chase suspected anything. “Where is he now?”

  “He’s flying here. He got the first flight out.”

  They have flights from Eighty-Second to Seventy-Second Street?

  Chase looked out the window. “Hubert was in such a rage. He’s going to do everything he can to fight it.”

  Well, that’s one good thing about Hubert being so devious. He of all people could probably figure out some way to get Chase hired again.

  “You know Hubert,” he said with a laugh. “I could very well be performing tonight. When he wants his way, he gets it.” Then he looked away and muttered to himself. “He warned me not to trust anyone on that show.”

  Typical. That seems to be Hubert’s method in any situation. He’s made Chase distrust everyone so he’ll only rely on Hubert. If I stayed longer than a couple of weeks, I’m sure Hubert would poison Chase’s mind against me.

  Chase took another swig of VitaminWater. “Even if he gets my job back, though, I’m missing all of today’s rehearsal. I’d be scared to go on tonight.”

  “Look, Chase. I agree it’d be really helpful to have a run-through with the orchestra and costumes and everything, but it’s not like you couldn’t go on without it.”

  He sighed. “I guess you’re right. But I hate not being at rehearsal. I thought I’d have today to run through all my lines and songs. I’d actually be nervous going on tonight without doing it at least once.”

  If I were him, I wouldn’t be nervous about that. I’d be nervous about my horrible singing/acting choices.

  And yet…I know that he really can sing. And act!

  Hmm…

  Shouldn’t I at least try?

  “Chase, do you have sheet music for your songs and the original script you had at the beginning of rehearsals?”

  “Yeah…,” he said tentatively. “Why?”

  I got up.

  “Because I’m going to run the show with you.” I spoke fast because I was excited. “I’ll read all the other lines and play piano for your songs. For all we know, you may be going on tonight. You should have a rehearsal if you want one.”

  “But…” He trailed off.

  I had to convince him. He helped me so much with Spencer. Now it was my turn to help him.

  “Listen, Chase, if our roles were reversed, would you let me sit around my apartment being depressed? Get dressed and let’s start!”

  And how do I politely implore him to take a shower first?

  Luckily, he didn’t need me to ask. He excused himself and went into the bathroom. Within a few minutes, I heard the shower. Ahhhh.

  I texted Devon an update. Chase was fired! Out of nowhere! BUT Hubert’s working to get him his job back. Will keep you updated.

  Devon wrote back, OMG.

  A half hour later, Chase was standing near the huge windows and I was behind the piano. I played the opening music, and he strode forward and started singing. Or whatever you call whispering with a slight melody attached.

  I stopped playing.

  I decided to be bold. “Chase, you have to sing out.”

  He shook his head. “That’s what Peter said.”

  “Well, Peter’s the director. He wants what’s best for the show.”

  “Well, who says he knows what’s best? After all, he’s only done plays.”

  “Chase! It’s not some obscure idea that a song in a musical needs to be heard! Why sing it that way?”

  “Well, Hubert told me—”

  “Hubert?!?!” I yelled. I should have known he was behind this! But I had to play it cool. “I mean,” I said with controlled calm, “what did Hubert tell you?”

  “He said there are a lot of people who get to Broadway and don’t know what they’re doing.” Unfortunately, that is true. “And he said I really should listen to only one person.”

  “And that person is him.”

  “Yes!” he said, sounding slightly defensive. “I told you. He’s really been there for me.”

  “I remember you telling me…” That he took advantage of you being in mourning for your mom to totally take over your life. “So, throughout rehearsal he’s been helping you?”

  He smiled. “Yeah. He’s really dedicated himself to this show. He told me very specific advice on how to sing and act and also gave me a lot of line changes as well. He was either at rehearsal or available whenever I called him.”

  So that’s it. Every time Chase took a break, he’d call Hubert, who would give him another idiotic change.

  Was Hubert’s taste really that bad?

  I couldn’t mull this over with Chase because he would start defending Hubert and start lumping me in with people he can’t trust.

  How do I play this?

  “Chase, just because Hubert has been a tremendous support to you—”

  “He has!” Chase interrupted.

  “I know. But it doesn’t mean his expertise is in musicals.” Or anything. I better say something nice. “He’s an expert in television.” I saw Chase smile. “He may be giving you what he thinks are great artistic choices for TV, but I can tell you they’re not working onstage.”

  “Look, Justin,” Chase said, starting to parrot back Hubert’s babbling, “he thinks I should just try it and then see how it goes, so—”

  “Chase!” I said, cutting him off. “Don’t you remember how you performed Don Quixote in high school?”

  He seemed taken aback. “How’d you know I played that role?”

  I had a DVD dropped off last night courtesy of your Phantom note writer.

  No! Think!

  “I read it somewhere…,” I said, avoiding his eyes. “You must have said it in an interview.”

  “No. I never mention that show,” he said suspiciously.

  Uh-oh. “Hubert must have told me.” I kept talking so he couldn’t quiz me. “Regardless, I have no idea how you played that role.” A lie. “But think back to that time.” I started rattling off his bizarre performance habits. “Did you ever whisper a song? Or get rid of a laugh line? Or turn your back to the audience?”

  “No…but that was high school. Broadway’s different.”

  “Is it? I don’t really think so.” I’d better use his hero. “You know Stephen Sondheim once said…” I had to make up something that would convince him. “The only difference between a high school audience and a Broadway audience…is the proximity to the cafetorium.” Wow! That was quick thinking on my part!

  “Really? Sondheim said that?”

  “Many, many times.” First rule of lying is—commit!

  I could tell he was considering making some changes. I had to strike now.

  “Chase, listen to me do the opening number.”

  I went to the piano and launched into the song with Chase’s whisper-singing. After a few bars, I stopped.

  “Now listen to this.” I sang it full out and I’m not too shy to say I sounded great.

  I finished and looked him in the eye. “If you were in the audience, which version would you rather hear?”

  He looked torn. “Well…”

  “Come on, Chase. The second one. It’s not even a toss-up.”

  “I hear what you’re saying, but…” He sounded frustrated.

  He was so used to leaving decisions to Hubert that he couldn’t trust his own opinions. I’d have to invoke Hubert somehow to hook him.

  “Look, I totally agree with what Hubert says.”

  He perked up. “You do?”

  “Yes. About trying things and then if they don’t work, trying something new.”

  “Great!”

  “So, you’ve been trying it Hubert’s way and no one has liked it, so try it a new way tonight. My way.”

  He immediately shook his head. “Justin, I’ve never given his way a chance. Hubert told me the reaction co
uld be completely different when we have a full audience.”

  Argh! Hubert keeps foiling my plans, even from afar.

  “Look, Chase, I’m hoping Hubert will get your job back and you’ll have lots of performances to try new things, but”—I put on a sad face—“tonight is the last night of my internship and the only time I’ll be able to see the show. For a really long time.”

  “Why?”

  Uh-oh. Why?

  “Because…” Quick! Think of a lie! “I go back to school tomorrow. It’ll be hard for me to get back to the city.” Perfect!

  Wait. That wasn’t a lie. And he looked like he was almost convinced. Hmm…I have to use the truth more often.

  How about being truthful all the time?

  Don’t push it, Spencer.

  “I hear what you’re saying, Justin…but…”

  Ah! I needed to appeal to the older brother feelings he had for me.

  “Come on, Chase. I’m having the internship you always wanted when you were a kid. Imagine if you met a big star when you were sixteen and he took your advice. What a thrilling way for me to end my internship.” I put on my “I’m just an eager student” face. “It’ll be something I’ll always remember.”

  He flashed his big “I used to be a model” smile. “OK, Justin! I’ll do it! I can always go back to Hubert’s way next week.”

  Hopefully never. “Yay! Let’s go.”

  We started running the show. And every time we got to a song, I played it and he sang. Really sang. And he sounded great! I told him that they rehearsed today with all the old lines and he’d have to do it that way tonight if he went on. I told him he could always change them to Hubert’s lines for the first preview, which wasn’t until Tuesday.

  He had such great instincts and his performance was really working. At one point, though, we were doing a scene and he said a really funny one-liner that fell flat.

  He looked at me fearfully. “I know I should be able to do this, but…I don’t know how to get a laugh on that,” he admitted.

  “That’s OK,” I said soothingly. “I’m pretty certain that your line is not getting a laugh because you’re walking while you say it.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked, looking less scared.

  “I’ve studied a lot of comedy,” I said, “and I know audiences get distracted with aimless wandering.”

  “But on Vicious Tongues, I can cross the room and zing someone.”

  “Yes! But the camera is following your face, isn’t it?”

  “Oh…you’re right,” he admitted.

  “Chase, when you’re onstage, it’s better to plant it and say the line straight out.”

  I know I sounded bossy, but I also knew I was right.

  “Watch me,” I said as I stood center and delivered the line. Yes, only Chase laughed, but I know it would have brought the house down.

  “That was hilarious,” Chase said. Then he looked nervous. “But what if it doesn’t work for me? What if I’m just not that funny?”

  Gorgeous, talented people aren’t confident all the time? Who knew?

  “Chase! Try it. You can do it.” I felt like I was my mom when she was teaching me to ride a two-wheeler.

  Chase delivered the line and, not surprisingly, it was funny.

  “I’ll do it your way tonight!” Chase said with a wink. Then, “While we’re at it, can we go over the beginning of the opening number? I think it’s too high for me.”

  That couldn’t be. I heard him sing higher as Don Quixote.

  “No, it isn’t too high, Chase. You’re not breathing. You can’t hit that high note without taking a big breath first.”

  We ran the song, he took a breath like I told him, and he nailed it.

  We had just finished Act Two and were sitting on the floor, going over some of the line changes Chase would have to remember if he went on tonight, when the door flew open.

  “I got here as fast as I could,” Hubert said. Then he saw me and gave me a look that I knew meant Don’t say a thing or else.

  “Hubert!” Chase said, and ran to him. I hated seeing that Chase liked him so much. I stayed seated on the floor and watched them hug and kiss. Well, I finally figured out a way to easily lose my appetite.

  “What’s the update?” Chase asked, looking concerned.

  “Not great,” Hubert said, putting down his (probably empty) suitcase. I had to hand it to him for using props to keep up the lie. “The bad news is,” he said while taking off his coat, “I can’t get you back into Thousand-Watt Smile.”

  Oh no! I could see the sadness on Chase’s face. I felt like sinking to the floor in disappointment, but I was already there, so I just let my shoulders collapse. However, I realized how that position really highlighted my stomach hanging over my pants, so I immediately sat upright.

  “But,” Hubert said with his version of a smile, “there is a silver lining.” Hubert sat on the couch and took out his laptop.

  “This is what I was doing during my flight,” he said as he started typing in a Web address.

  Flight? “Wow, Hubert!” I said as I walked to the back of the couch. “Usually short flights don’t have Internet.”

  He glared at me over his shoulder. “How’s your grandmother, Justin?” Touché.

  “Chase,” he said with a big smile, “I spoke to the studio and…your part hasn’t been recast!”

  “For what?” asked Chase, sitting down next to Hubert.

  “Look!” Hubert said, pointing to his laptop. On the screen was EntertainmentWeekly.com, with a headline that read, “Chase Hudson leaves Broadway to do Wicked Words.”

  Hubert leaned back in triumph. “Look at that! Now people will think it was all your doing.”

  Chase was still looking at the screen, not speaking, so I piped up.

  “Chase…I thought you didn’t want to do the Vicious Tongues spin-off?”

  “Of course he does,” Hubert said, whipping his head toward me. “Chase knows TV is where the real money is.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t care about money,” I said.

  “Justin,” Hubert said, calmly getting up and walking over to me, “your internship officially ended Friday.” Then he stared at me. “I think it’s time for you to leave.”

  “Chase?” I asked, hoping to be saved.

  “Yeah, Justin,” Chase said, sounding defeated. “I guess there’s no more Broadway here for you. You might as well go home.” He gave me what looked like a brave smile. “You should rest up for school tomorrow.”

  Hubert seemed so satisfied I couldn’t help thinking he knew more than he was saying.

  “When does it start filming?” I asked.

  Hubert turned to me as if I were an annoying mosquito who buzzed by. Thankfully, Chase answered. “In around two months.”

  “Actually,” Hubert said, “they’ve pushed up the filming. It begins at the end of the week.”

  It all seemed too convenient.

  I looked over to Hubert, who had the epitome of a smug smile on his face. He was so sure of himself about everything. And didn’t seem to care that Chase was so sad. I didn’t believe that everyone would think Chase left on purpose. The Broadway community is small and loves gossip. I’m sure ThousandWattInsider had already posted about him being fired and then the word would spread. I decided I needed to see what was being written on the BroadwayBitchery message board. If ThousandWattInsider wrote about how his lack of talent led to his firing, I could at least counteract it by telling everyone how amazing he was this afternoon. I’m pretty much the only one who can save his Broadway reputation.

  I went to enter the site on my phone and saw a black screen. No battery!

  I had to get online as soon as possible so there’d be another insider telling the truth.

  Aha! I saw the answer sitting in front of me.

  “You’re right, Chase,” I said, starting to gather my things. “I probably should go.”

  Hubert looked surprised that I gave up without a fight. But he also
looked pleased with himself.

  I checked my watch. “I need to find when the next train leaves for Long Island.” I turned toward Hubert. “Can I look it up on your computer? I’d love to get the very next one.”

  “I’d love that for you, too,” Hubert said enthusiastically, while gesturing at his computer.

  I’m sure he was happy that I didn’t blow his cover and wanted me out of Chase’s life as soon as possible.

  “So, is my role exactly the same? Just a little older?” Chase asked, sounding depressed.

  “Let’s get something to drink and talk about it,” Hubert said as he led Chase into the kitchen. I could hear him begin to give Chase details and I knew they would both be distracted and not see me log onto BroadwayBitchery.com. When I got to the home screen and went to enter my screen name, my hands froze above the keyboard.

  There was a screen name already saved.

  Hubert was ThousandWattInsider.

  I quickly closed out of the site.

  That was all the proof I needed. Hubert was trying to destroy Chase!

  But I couldn’t let Hubert know I was planning on saying or doing anything because he wouldn’t hesitate to reveal my version of the truth. P.S.: I decided to use some Republican double-talk to myself to see if it made me feel less guilty. For example:

  Man-made global warming = climate change

  Me lying about my grandma dying = version of truth

  Hubert and Chase walked out of the kitchen, each holding a can of diet soda.

  “Well, I’m sorry about how this turned out,” Hubert said to him, obviously lying, “but we can talk about it later. Right now I have some important shopping to do.” He meant he had some unpacking to finish. He took a long swig of soda and placed it on the counter.

  “What time is the flight tomorrow?” Chase asked as Hubert was putting on his coat.

  “Ten a.m. We get into L.A. at one.”

  So soon? I bet Hubert wanted Chase out of New York as soon as possible to prevent him from finding anything out.

  I started getting my things together while thinking of a way I could get some alone time with Chase. I had to help him!

  Hubert and I walked to the door of the apartment. He could tell I was trying to linger.

  “Stop dawdling, Justin. I need to leave ASAP.”