The Rise and Fall of a Theater Geek

by Seth Rudetsky

  Chase walked down the hallway and pushed the button for the elevator. We all stood there in silence till the doors finally opened. Hubert and I both got in the elevator and right before the door closed, I called to Chase. “Wait! I’m going straight back to Long Island and it’s a long trip. Can I use your bathroom?”

  “Sure,” Chase said before Hubert could say no.

  I ran out of the elevator and down the hallway as I heard Chase say goodbye and the elevator door close. Ha-ha, Hubert! Next time don’t say you need to leave “ASAP” if you don’t want it to backfire. As a matter of fact, stop saying ASAP. It’s annoying!

  Now I’d be alone with Chase. But what could I tell him?

  Nothing.

  Hubert would find out about everything I revealed, and he would spill the beans about me, which would end up in a full-semester grounding from my parents. And no internship credit. And Spencer’s judgment.

  I used the bathroom and walked back into the living room to see Chase standing in front of one of the enormous windows. Silence. He had put on an “It’s all for the best” attitude in front of Hubert, but he was obviously devastated. So was I.

  Finally I stated the obvious. “I thought you didn’t want to do Wicked Words.”

  He kept looking out the window. “I don’t, but it’s much better than being unemployed. It’s a lot of money to turn down.”

  “But it’s not Broadway,” I said.

  “Well,” he said, turning around, “the good news is Hubert is working on getting me back on Broadway during my hiatus.”

  “He is?”

  “While we were in the kitchen, he told me he’s working on a couple of different possibilities and will be flying back and forth to New York to negotiate.”

  Hmm, everything Hubert says had an ulterior motive, but it took hard thinking to figure out.

  However, I knew I had to do something about this situation first.

  But what?

  I needed time.

  “Chase,” I said, “turns out my train doesn’t come for a little while. Could I hang out here and charge my phone?”

  “Sure, Justin. I’m going to take a long shower and try to steam away my stress. I’ll come out and say goodbye before you leave.”

  And with that he entered his bedroom and closed the door.

  I was at a complete loss. Chase was fired. Hubert had won.

  I tried to focus my brain on getting his job back, but even I couldn’t see a way.

  What now? Go back to Grandma Sally’s and really take the next train home?

  That was depressing.

  I decided to do what I always do when I’m depressed. Distract myself.

  I went to my backpack and took out the Playbill for Thousand-Watt Smile I had snatched from backstage. I thought I could lose myself for a while by looking at actors’ headshots and reading their bios. I sat on the white leather couch and opened it.

  There was Chase’s name, right above the title.

  I sighed.

  In three hours, Mickey would be playing that part.

  As sad as it was for Chase, I knew it must be an incredibly exciting time for Mickey. I wondered if he had ever had a big role on Broadway before this. I started looking for his name in the Playbill to see his credits and soon began reading all of the actors’ bios.

  I stopped when I got to Cristopher Mykos.

  Cristopher Mykos.

  Where had I heard that name before?

  Then I remembered! It’s also Hubert’s last name. I saw it on his apartment buzzer. Was his brother in the show? Was that somehow part of his scheme?

  Chase came out of the bedroom in jeans and a blue button-down shirt. His hair was wet and it looked like he just shaved.

  “Chase, is Hubert’s brother in Thousand-Watt Smile?”

  “His brother? Why? Do you think someone in the cast looks like him?”

  “No,” I said, “I just saw that someone else had the same last name.”

  “Huh?” Chase furrowed his brow. “Hubert is like Madonna. He doesn’t use a last name.”

  Oy vey. How much more pretentious can Hubert be?

  “He’s simply Oo-bare.”

  No last name? Then why did it say Hubert Mykos next to his buzzer?

  Unless…it was two different names for two different people who were living in the same apartment!

  “Who is Cristopher Mykos?”

  “He’s that curly-haired dancer in the ensemble,” Chase said as he walked to the beautiful marble-countertopped kitchen. He started to pour himself some sparkling apple cider. “Isn’t he great?”

  “Yeah…,” I said, even though I never really noticed him. “Has he done a lot of shows?”

  “Funny you should ask. He had just graduated from a musical theater school when Hubert met him on a flight. Since Hubert’s a big supporter of young talent”—He is?—“he pulled a couple of strings and got him in the chorus. He’s a really good dancer.”

  That’s not all he is. He’s now Hubert’s roommate.

  Wait a minute, “roommate”? If my detective abilities are as accurate as they always are, he’s also Hubert’s secret boyfriend! Why else would Hubert have signed a lease for a secret apartment? I’ll tell you why! So they could live together without Chase knowing!

  Although, with Chase being fired, the whole thing seems like a waste. Chase and Hubert are going back to California, so Hubert won’t be able to use the New York apartment after all. I guess even Hubert’s plans can get foiled.

  Wait! Of course he’s going to be using that apartment! That’s why he claimed he’s going to have to start taking a lot of trips to New York! He won’t be traveling to Manhattan to negotiate Chase’s supposed next Broadway show; he’ll be flying here to visit his boyfriend in their new luxury apartment!

  Chase needs to know!

  And yet, I can’t tell him any of it.

  He sat down on the couch. “I wanna tell you something, Justin.”

  Uh-oh. The last time I heard a comment like that was right before Spencer broke up with me.

  “Yeah?” I said nervously.

  He leaned back and looked toward Central Park. Then he turned back. “You know, this whole experience was not great for me. I hadn’t performed since high school and I was really nervous about doing musical theater again. But because I was the star, I felt I had to act confident. Hubert told me not to trust anyone on the staff and that worked for me because it meant I didn’t have to tell anyone I was scared.” He took a sip of his sparkling cider. “But rehearsing with you this afternoon…it was amazing. I didn’t have to know everything.”

  Chase just said rehearsing with me was amazing! I sat there with a big smile on my face.

  “I want to thank you,” he said, holding out his hand, and I shook it. “It felt, I don’t know…liberating to be able to ask for help. It was OK that I wasn’t perfect.”

  “I had a great time, too,” I said, and thought about how much fun it was to run scenes with him and give him advice and watch him get better.

  “Well,” he said, standing up and looking at his watch, “I guess you better go. I hope we see each other again.”

  I stood up, too. “I hope so, too. And,” I added, “I hope you’re on Broadway really soon. You deserve it.”

  I unplugged my phone, which had finally charged, and put on my coat. When I got to the door of his apartment, he gave me a hug.

  “Take care, Justin. You’re a great kid.”

  I took the elevator down with a smile on my face but a sad feeling inside.

  It was over.

  I left the Dakota and started walking toward Grandma Sally’s apartment.

  My cell phone rang and I picked it up without looking to see who it was.

  It was Spencer.

  And everything changed.

  I spoke with Spencer for around fifteen minutes without going inside. I was freezing on the street but too riveted by the conversation to move my body. All I could do was talk.

 
As soon as I hung up, I called Devon. Well, first I hightailed it inside the Starbucks on Seventy-Third and Columbus for a venti coffee to help my teeth stop chattering. Then I dialed him because I knew I needed as much help as I could get.

  As soon as he answered, he apologized again for last night.

  “Devon, it’s OK. I was acting crazy.”

  “I was acting crazy.”

  “It’s just—”

  “It’s just—”

  “Sometimes I need a lot of attention,” we both said, and then laughed.

  He really was a nice guy. But I had been thinking about him off and on throughout the day. I forced myself to admit that I was mainly using him to get over Spencer. After our first date, it didn’t feel right, but I kept it going just to make Spencer jealous.

  “Devon,” I said nervously, “are we too similar to date?”

  “Justin,” he said, sounding relieved, “I was thinking the same thing.”

  Wow. That was easy!

  “But I want to be friends,” I told him. Then, just to clarify, I added, “And I’m not lying when I say that.”

  He laughed. “I want to be friends, too. And more important, I want to solve this whole Chase mystery with you!”

  How great was that! I was able to end a relationship that wasn’t working but keep the parts that were. I took a minute to congratulate myself and then got back to business and texted him a photo I found online of Cristopher Mykos.

  “Devon, is that the guy who was at lunch with Hubert?”

  “Yes!” Devon said, excited. “How’d you know?”

  I immediately launched into everything that had happened that day.

  In the middle of the story, Devon interrupted. “He was fired with no warning at all?”

  Warning, shmarning. I hate when the flow of one of my stories is interrupted.

  “Yes,” I said, using the interruption to take a quick bite of a cake pop. Delish! “That’s one of the reasons he was so upset.”

  “That’s also the reason it’s illegal,” Devon said.

  “What?” I blurted out, causing cake pop crumbs to fly everywhere.

  “Justin, you know I’m obsessed with Broadway. I know all the union rules. An actor can’t get fired unless he gets warned. It’s called ‘just cause.’ ”

  “Or what?”

  “Or Chase could sue them and they’d have to pay him his whole year’s salary. I’m betting that would be hundreds of thousands of dollars.”

  “Devon! You’re amazing. This is exactly what I was looking for. I’ll call you back,” I said, and hung up.

  I was giddy with excitement. They wouldn’t want to pay him all that money just to not perform tonight. No matter what, Chase is going on!

  Now I just had to get him to the theater without Hubert finding out.

  And before any of that, I had to finish my cake pops. That’s right, pops. They have three flavors and it’s too difficult to choose just one.

  I enjoyed them all, then headed right back to the Dakota.

  I went up to Chase’s apartment and told him I was taking a later train home because I needed his help.

  “With what?”

  “Come shopping with me!”

  “Why do I—”

  I saw his coat lying on a chair and handed it to him. “Chase, no one knows Hubert better than you do and I want to thank him for the internship by getting him a bi-i-i-i-ig surprise.” Which isn’t a lie. When Hubert finds out what’s going on, he’ll definitely be surprised.

  I knew using Hubert as a lure would make Chase follow me and soon we hopped in a cab and arrived at the theater at six-thirty.

  “Why are we here, Justin?” Chase asked as we got out. “I thought you said we were shopping for Hubert.”

  I turned around and looked him in the eye. “Chase, this is for you. You deserve it.”

  “What? No! I don’t want to go in there.”

  “Trust me, Chase.” I reached up and put my hands on both of his shoulders. “Like you did this afternoon.”

  He looked indecisive. Then he gave me a little smile and walked with me.

  As soon as we entered the stage door, I held my breath as usual. To my right was an extra-large pile of wet tobacco in the garbage and to my left was Peter, the director, taping up a good luck card on the call-board. Standing next to him was Gary, putting up next week’s schedule.

  “Hi, guys…,” Gary said, sounding very confused.

  “Justin! Chase, old chap!” Peter said as if caught wearing only underwear.

  “Listen up!” I said, standing with my hands on my hips and trying to sound like an adult. I was basing my stance on how the lead detective from Law & Order stands when he’s telling off a judge. The voice I used was my version of Bea Arthur from Golden Girls having a stern talk with her mother.

  “Peter. Gary. The three of us know it’s against union rules to fire an actor without three warnings.”

  “Justin!” Chase said, sounding surprised and irritated.

  Peter looked back and forth from Chase and then to me.

  “Justin, you are correct, my boy,” Peter said, somewhat condescendingly. “But what you may not know is that when both parties decide it’s best for an actor to leave, it’s called a mutual agreement and no one owes anyone anything.”

  “Well, Chase doesn’t agree.”

  “Justin,” said Gary, “it’s sweet that you’re trying to save the day, but Hubert already agreed for Chase.”

  “Yeah? Well, nothing was signed.” Hopefully. “And I’ve spoken to Hubert and he said you completely misunderstood him.”

  “What do you mean?” Gary asked, sounding slightly panicked.

  “Chase never got three warnings and his lawyer will sue the pants off this show unless Chase performs tonight.”

  Peter took out his handkerchief and patted his forehead. Then he looked angry. “He wants three warnings? He’ll get them for the next three performances. And be fired by the end of the week.”

  “That’s fine,” I said, knowing that the only important thing is that he went on tonight.

  Nobody moved. Finally I barked, “Gary!” He looked at me in shock. “Don’t you have an announcement to make to the cast?”

  Gary looked at me, then at Peter. Peter took a moment and then slightly nodded. Gary ran to the stage manager’s office and his voice suddenly came out of the backstage speakers.

  “Attention, cast. At tonight’s performance, Mickey Hendrix will go on for his regular part in the ensemble. The role usually played by Chase Hudson will be played by…Chase Hudson.”

  We heard a flurry of conversation floating down from the dressing rooms and soon saw a confused Mickey walk from Chase’s dressing room area up the stairs. I turned and grabbed Chase’s arm.

  “Let’s go.”

  We left Peter in a daze and as we walked into his dressing room, Chase started laughing. “You’re amazing! This day has had some ups and downs!”

  “I know,” I said.

  “But”—Chase turned to me—“why would Hubert mutually agree to have them fire me?”

  “He didn’t,” I lied. “That’s why he sent me here to clarify it.”

  “Then why would he tell me we’re flying to L.A. tomorrow if he thought I’d get my job back?”

  Oy. So many questions. “Um…why don’t you send him a quick text?”

  “I will. There’s a lot that doesn’t make sense.” He took out his phone.

  “Hey!” I said before he texted anything. “Don’t forget to sign in! You don’t want to give them any reason to fire you.” Just as I hoped, he put his phone down and quickly left.

  I did what I needed to do and exited his dressing room. “Bye, Chase!” I said when I saw him at the call-board. “I’ll come back and wish you luck before you go on.”

  And with that I ran out of the theater and waited under the marquee.

  I texted Hubert that Chase was going on and within seconds, I knew he was calling Chase frantically. By the w
ay, it wasn’t a psychic feeling. I knew because I had Chase’s cell phone in my pocket. When he went to the call-board, I’d pocketed it. I didn’t want them talking till I could tell Hubert what I knew.

  Just as I suspected, a cab pulled up fifteen minutes later.

  As Hubert stepped out, I walked over.

  “Out of my way, Justin,” he said, and began to walk toward the stage door.

  “I’d wait if I were you,” I said in a clear and stern voice.

  Hubert paused momentarily.

  I stood in front of the stage door. “I know you were sabotaging Chase’s performance. I know you moved into your new apartment with your boyfriend.”

  “Justin, I’m so bored with your reveals. Yes, I wanted Chase out of this show. There’s no money on Broadway. I made sure his performance would be horrible enough to close the show in a few weeks so he could begin filming the Vicious Tongues sequel.” That’s why he wanted him to stink! “But when they pushed up the filming date, I had to figure out a way to get him to Los Angeles quickly.” Meaning tomorrow. “So, as I’m sure you guessed, I told the producers to release him from his Thousand-Watt Smile contract and there would be no consequences to them.” He raised one eyebrow.

  “Why didn’t you let them fire him weeks ago?”

  Hubert looked away for a second. “If you must know, I…I was enjoying attending rehearsals.”

  I glared. “You mean you were enjoying having a reason to be around Cristopher all day! You got him the job and then you spent weeks manipulating him to be your new boyfriend behind Chase’s back!”

  Hubert shrugged. “I didn’t have to manipulate him. He’s impressed by me.”

  Gross! “Well, I’m not!” I yelled. I realized I needed to keep my voice so I lowered it to an angry whisper. “You’re not only a cheater, but you also ruined Chase’s Broadway career!”

  Hubert sighed. “You may not think so, but I did that for his own good.”

  What a liar! He did it for his own good. His cut of Chase’s TV salary is far more than his cut of Chase’s Broadway salary.

  “He’s staying in Thousand-Watt Smile,” I said sternly.

  Hubert’s eyes narrowed. “No, he’s not. And if you try anything, I will tell your little secret to everybody and you will fail your internship.”

  A few actors walked past us and I moved out of the way to let them into the stage door. Hubert went to follow them. “Hubert, I wouldn’t. Or else your little secret will be told to everybody.” He kept walking. “Your little secret about GlitZ.”