Love Remains (4 OAKS)

by Gayle Eden

  Hearing her breath rush out her nose, Sage watched Kane take his sunglasses off. He had on a cowboy hat, a black tailored shirt with Levis, his cowboy boots. He looked big, confident, and too handsome, as he came closer and closer.

  His green gaze touched hers. Kane winked reassuringly before heading toward the bench.

  She watched him pause and take off his cowboy hat. He put it on the bench, laying his glasses inside it. He offered his hand to Michael. She couldn’t hear much but the deep drawl of his tone. She wanted to.

  Sage felt her muscles tighten and her legs shaking when Michael looked at that hand awhile before he finally took it and shook.

  When Kane lowered himself to sit beside Michael, slightly forward, elbows on his thighs and head turned toward him, Michael straightened a bit, and then nodded, his eyes finally on Kane’s face.

  Closing her own, she breathed out, trying to ease her stomach muscles. As much as she wanted to watch every second, Sage went in and got her purse and keys. She closed the door behind her, and walked under the entry covering. A few feet from her car was a bench, where she sat...

  She watched her fingers shake while lighting, knowing Michael would be pissed at her smoking. If she had a shot of Jack Daniels, she would have done that too. Her freaking nerves—the lack of sleep—emotions. Kane. Yeah. Him too.

  Traffic, voices, the occasional muffled music came from a quick mart across the way. Scents, town sounds, she tried to push it back, straining to hear their voices.

  Wasn’t possible.

  Shit.

  She had intended to let them do this alone. Sage crushed the smoke and dug out mints. She chewed those, and got up, walking toward the bench.

  Kane looked up at her, over her, as she approached, and in the midst of saying to Michael, “Yeah, Carter played college football. I played high school. Even though he does demos still, Ranching is what we all love. Rio, as I said, works with all sorts of animals.”

  Michael looked at her.

  Sage smiled.

  Kane suggested, “How about we all go out to dinner. What do you like, Michael?”

  “Shrimp. Fish.”

  Kane nodded. “We can do that.” He glanced at Sage. “We’ll take my truck.”

  She nodded and walked slightly beside him, Michel on the other side. At the truck, Mike took the back seat, and glanced briefly at Kane, as he held the passenger door for her.

  His return stare was steady. She gathered he was about as nervous as she was, but determined not to show it.

  Once they were buckled in and heading up the highway, he asked Michael if he wanted music on. Her son said, whatever. She observed a slight grin on Kane’s face. He looked at her on and off as pop music played on the radio. Sage could also feel her son’s eyes watching them, so she turned to look out the side window. Eventually Kane was asking him about school.

  The steak and fish place was almost empty. They got a booth, after their order, and drinks. She sat near the window again, Kane on the other side, and Mike beside her.

  “I’d like to show you the ranch. If you’re interested.”

  “Sure,” Michael replied. “I guess if I stay here, I got to figure out school.”

  “We’ll talk about it.” Sage looked at him before her eyes touched Kane.

  He said, “If you want to ride out tonight, meet your Uncle Carter, and Aunt Skye, that would be good. Rio has moved in with Jesse, though he’s at the ranch working a lot. I don’t know if he’s coming by.”

  “I guess.”

  Their food was there. They were half way through the meal before Kane said, having been watching Michael awhile, “I hope you like house, and ranch—4 Oaks will pass partly to you someday.”

  Sage could see Michael was a little stunned. He mumbled, “I’m not a cowboy.”

  “Rancher. Not yet.” Kane grinned at him.

  When Michael smiled, natural, pleased, as if some of the being overwhelmed by meeting his dad fell away, Sage felt her heart squeeze.

  Despite his dark coloring, he looked a lot like Kane then.

  As if Kane noticed too, he said gruffly, hiding his expression behind cutting into his steak, “I’ll tell you about your Grandfathers, while you’re out there.”

  The meal through. Michael went to the restroom before they left.

  Standing in the parking lot, in front of the truck, Kane looked at her and let out a heavy breath, shaking his head on a grin. “My God, Sage.”

  She asked, “Did he make it hard on you?”

  “Yeah, but it’s not that. He’s—” Kane swallowed looking overcome with emotion, before he breathed in and out again. “He’s great. Handsome too. Looks like you, in the best ways, and the Crofts in others... Fucking looks sixteen though.”

  She laughed. “He’s going to get taller. Built more like you. He’s intelligent, but high energy.”

  “I hope he likes 4 oaks.”

  “He’ll love it.”

  Michael came out, and they left. He moved to the front seat, after she exited at the hotel.

  “You can come with us,” Kane invited walking to the hotel with her.

  “No. I think he wants to do this by himself.” She turned at the door. “He’s a little overwhelmed, so remember, he’s more kid than young man yet.”

  “I know.” Kane lingered a moment, looking over her face, and then holding her eyes. He had his hat back on, sunglasses in his shirt pocket. He murmured before leaving, “If I can talk him into staying the night, will that be okay? He could go out and tend the stock with me in the morning.”

  “Yes, if it’s what he wants.”

  “Thanks.”

  He was saying much more with that, and she nodded, turning away and going in as he headed for the truck.

  Leaning back against the door, Sage closed her eyes, arching her neck.

  Oh, God. What a day.

  Later, she pulled away and flopped on the bed, all that adrenaline gone—the lack of sleep hit her like a brick.

  Chapter 5

  For the next two weeks, Kane had Michael with him nearly every day. After he’d talked him into staying the night, and Michael had gone feeding with him the next morning, it was a given he would stay—other than twice when he’d gone in to get clean clothing.

  Before he could experience the Dad role, Kane knew he had to gain Michael’s trust and confidence. He acted as natural as he could, making general conversation, asking him questions about Rhode Island, his school, music, whatever came up.

  That didn’t mean Kane was relaxed.

  He could sense Michael was assessing him, and though the boy asked questions about the ranch, quite few, as he hung around while Kane did chores, he sensed Michael was biding his time, for the right time, to ask them.

  By the third day, Kane had gone out and bought him boots. His son’s feet were nearly as big as his own. In fact, Michael’s height and build made him look older than he was. He took the boots, and Kane’s advice about breaking them in. When they tended the stock, he directed Michel how to help do this or that. Yeah—maybe testing him. But Michael did it. He wasn’t ranch bred, but he had good instincts, and was athletic.

  There were times, breaks, sitting on the back of the old truck, when Kane would look at him and think; damn…we made this attractive young man? Sure, he was constantly reminded of Sage. Michael’s coloring, his accents, a lot him, reminded Kane of Sage.

  He called her, kept her up on things. They’d talked about Michael’s schooling. It was clearer to him, every time, with every reaction in his body, that none of what he’d once felt with her was gone. He wanted to get closer, know more, and see her more. He was still working on how to do that.

  It was in the second week, near the end of it, and Michael had already hung out with his brothers and Skye, and with Jesse a few times. They were alone doing the dishes—a chore even Kane wasn’t crazy about, but it was a quiet time after a full day. They’d checked the hay fields and started the gardens, worked on one of the tractors, while
listening to music that Michael had put in the CD player in the barn.

  Finished drying, Kane fixed himself coffee, giving a cup to Michael when he asked for it. The young man had so much fresh air and physical work, there was no chance it would interfere with his sleep.

  On the front porch, Kane was in jeans, his bare feet, and an open white shirt. After his shower, Michael had put on shorts. He was barefoot and no shirt, his inky curls half over his brow while he looked around the yard.

  “So what happened? With my Mom?” That question finally came out.

  Kane eyed that profile. He could tell Michael had built up the courage to ask. He said softly, “We didn’t know each other very long. Fell in love. I was older, and she was too young. Your grandparents were—strict. We couldn’t see each other openly. I broke up with her. I didn’t know she was carrying you. Or anything after that.”

  Kane wasn’t sure how much to tell an eleven year old. Just from general conversation he knew Michael was more fifteen maybe in his intellect and maturity. He was savvy, very up on the culture. He certainly didn’t like being talked to like a kid.

  Having his feet up on the banisters where he sat, his back against the stone pier, Michael glanced at where Kane sat in a rocker, his feet on a planter. Kane let him hold his gaze and visually search his face—as he felt Michael do a dozen times during their day.

  “Were you mad at her, when you found about me?”

  “Little bit.” Kane nodded. “But I can’t blame her. I wasn’t nice when I broke it off. She was a young girl. I was her first boyfriend. I broke her heart.” Even as he said it, Kane suddenly realized that’s exactly what he’d done.

  He felt horrible.

  Swallowing a drink of coffee, he offered, “I would have married her, and been your dad right from the start. She didn’t know that. I hurt her.”

  Michael nodded. “I was mad at her.” He sighed and looked towards the drive. “Mad too, when she left me and came here. I liked my Aunt and Uncle, but I should a been with mom. She didn’t have any money through. Aunt lives over the bakery.” He waited a beat. “I said mean things to her when I got here. I made her cry a lot.”

  He looked at Kane again. “She was just trying to make us a home, a real one. I was little, a baby, but I knew Sasha hated me. I remember Mom crying all the time. Sometimes, over her family. She’d try and hide out. Take me out to a movie or for ice cream. We’d talk for hours about having our house… and being happy and…”

  Kane could hear that emotion creeping up on the boy, so he said softly, “So you know, she didn’t do anything to hurt you. She did it to make life better for you both.”

  “Yeah. I know.”

  “Most of us don’t get to go back and do over. We sometimes a get a chance though, to do better. We have that now, Michael.”

  Those eyes turned to him. “Mom calls me Mike.”

  “Do you like that better?”

  He nodded. “Are you going to adopt me?”

  Kane felt his stomach tense. “I don’t have to. We just have to change your last name to Croft.”

  “Do you want to?”

  Kane held his gaze. “I want to.”

  A slight smile touched Michael’s mouth before he covered it, lifting the cup, and sipping.

  For a while that floated pleasantly between them, then Michael got down and sat in one of the rockers.

  The sun was lowering.

  He said, “How come you don’t shave every day?”

  “Pure lazy.” Kane laughed at that kid question, while rubbing his lean jaw.

  “You’re not lazy. You do something all the time around here.”

  “That’s the way it is on a ranch.”

  “Yeah, my Uncle baked—him and Aunt. Up at four, at the bakery late. But it’s different here.”

  “Sure is.”

  “Rio’s gift is special, isn’t it?”

  “Yes. Very rare.”

  “He said your Grandfather—”

  “—Yours too. JC was your Grandfather. Like a father to me.” Kane had already explained the car wreck and where his Mom was. He’d called Caroline and told her about Michael. She was over the moon.

  Dammit. He was too.

  Michael observed, “It’s funny how you all are family. I mean, Carter has another half-sister, and Rio has another Mother… Lots of kids do. But it’s kind of cool you have brothers.”

  “They’re a pain in the ass.”

  Mike laughed. “That’s what Rio said.”

  “He’s the biggest one.”

  “Juda Vaughn—. He’s a big guy.” Michael remarked, “It’s odd he’s married to a cop. I mean, she don’t really look like one, does she?”

  “Dani is unique, for sure.”

  “He’s got a kid too. Juda”

  “Yes. Families. They’re all complicated.”

  Another moment passed, and then Michael asked quietly, “Do you like my Mom?”

  “Always have.” Kane had to look away a moment.

  Whew. The kid was sharp as an arrow today.

  “You think she moved here, maybe—so we’d meet?”

  “Probably. She did. I’m lucky she did.” He gazed back at Michael.

  Michael looked away this time, but murmured roughly, “You going to try and make her forgive you. For making her cry and all. Back then?”

  “Yeah. I am.” Kane felt he was treading on shaky ground.

  “I apologized already. She never stays mad long. She works hard here, doesn’t she? At that diner?”

  “It’s not easy work.”

  “She wants this old house, outside town. She’s been talking about it for months. It needs fixing up. She hates living in the hotel. All my stuff and hers, is in storage.”

  “You want me to talk to her about you living here?”

  “I do. But…I feel bad for mom. She’d be hurt, maybe.”

  She would be, Kane thought. He wanted more than anything for Michael to live here.

  “We should talk it out. Us grownups, anyway. I’ll figure something out, so she’s not upset.”

  “Think I’ll go watch TV.” Michael got up and left.

  It was long time before Kane went in.

  He didn’t sleep well, despite the hard day of work.

  ~*~

  They were riding in the flatbed the next day, back across the pasture, after feeding cattle, Kane was digging in his pocket for a smoke and saw Mike’s hand in his face, palm up.

  “Give them here...” Mike demanded dryly...

  “What?” Kane laughed.

  The boy leaned over and plucked out the cigarettes. “These things will kill you.” He dumped the pack out the window before Kane could protest, and handed him a stick of gum.

  Taking the gum, unwrapping, Kane eyed his son’s grin as he stuck it in his mouth and chewed. Kane grinned too.

  Michael released a breath, and looked back out the window. “Five bucks for every time I catch you smoking.”

  “Five! Is that price negotiable?”

  “No.” Mike glanced at him, his green eyes half shielded by his black lashes. “It’s the same deal I have Mom. And with Rio.”

  “Rio, too. Huh.” Kane shook his head, laughing.

  “Yeah. If you want to hang with me, you gotta not smoke.”

  “Sounds like a good deal.”

  Back at the ranch, after he’d parked next to the barn, Kane saw Michael go inside it. After he got his thermos and things out of the truck, he leaned inside the door, watching Michael going to the stalls, patting the horses. The boy was finally wearing the cowboy boots he’d gotten him, and breaking them in. He wasn’t talkative as most kids, but he wasn’t really shy. He absorbed everything Kane told him, whether he responded or not.

  “You want to learn to ride?” Kane asked when Mike spotted him and came toward him.

  “I guess I should.”

  Kane studied him, dirty, sweaty, browner. He touched him for the first time, hooking his arm around those too broad for a kid sh
oulders. “If you’re going to run the place someday, you should learn to ride.”

  Giving him a quick squeeze, Kane dropped his arm. “Come on, we might as well start today. There’s just enough daylight left, to see where you’re falling.”

  Laughing, Michael paused mid stride. “For real?”

  Kane was lifting the saddle he would use. “No falling, unless you really suck. And no son of mine, no Croft, would suck that bad.”

  Mike caught up with him.

  Kane sent him in the stall for the horse. After saddling Michaels, he did his own. They headed out to the corral.

  As soon as he saw his son on a horse, Kane felt a flood of emotions. He covered most of it by teaching, sometimes teasing the boy to laughter. It was an almost surreal experience, teaching his son to ride. It was an amazing one, when he took to it naturally

  .

  ~*~

  Skye had started dinner and then joined Carter on the porch. Coming to stand beside him, letting him draw her against his side, they observed Kane and Mike.

  Carter murmured above her head, “It’s really something to see Kane with that kid.”

  She smiled. “It is. He’s so tough and closed off. Or was, in everything else. Michael brings out his nurturing side. I even heard Kane laughing when they were playing video games.”

  “Kane was a good brother. Before I left. He was my best friend. Now that I know about Sage. It sounds like the kind of mistake he’d make. A big ass one—that caused them both a lot of pain.”

  She slid her arm around his waist. “He was in love with her, and it scared him.”

  “Yeah. He knew he couldn’t have her. Not without trouble. He’s been carrying that around…”

  “And she’s been fighting for her life. God. It seems so…”

  “I know.” He sighed. “But look at him. He loves that boy. He wants Mike to love him so badly…”

  “Michael is the same. He wants a dad, and wants to be loved. You know, I caught him watching Kane, looking him over when he was in his range wear. I think, despite being raised in the city, maybe because of it, he’s in awe of Kane. Like, secretly he thinks it’s cool that Kane’s a rancher.”