Let Life Happen

by Jaqueline Snowe

  She laughed but squeezed my arm before I walked away. She knew me well enough to know I was having a moment.

  I found my grandpa sitting on the chair out back. I knew he was having a smoke, but I always pretended I didn’t notice. “Hey, tiger. What’chu doing back here?”

  “Did you know about this?” I demanded.

  “About what, darlin’?” He flashed his familiar lazy smile and knowing eyes.

  “Cyn and Gage making me the damn godmother of the baby. And she’s going to sign over part of the bar to me. Why would they do this?”

  My grandpa put his hand on my shoulder and forced me to look up at him. “Jenna, I know life wasn’t what you imagined as a child. Parentless and being thrown into some old folks’ house. But I feel like I let you down.”

  “Grandpa! Don’t you say that crap to me. You know I love you and Uncle Rich, and you guys were the best parents a kid could ask for.”

  “I appreciate that, but, darlin’, I know we did some things right, but not everything. You need to stop doubting people care for you. You’re a joy to have in my life. It’d be safe to assume Cynthia and Gage feel the same. Don’t doubt yourself so much. It breaks my heart.”

  “Grandpa, uh. What is happening to me?” I ran my hands over my eyes, pressing down on them.

  “Not sure, kiddo, but to answer your question, yes, I did know about those things. I met them both at The Pit a couple weeks ago, and they told me. I was all for it. You’ll be a hell of a godmother.”

  I scoffed. “I cuss way too much, drink way too much, and can barely say I love you to the man who raised me on his own. I’m messed up.”

  He shook his head adamantly. “No, you’re tough. You’ve been through more than most people your age and have had to work for every single thing you’ve accomplished. Being tough is admirable, but don’t forget your heart in the process, okay?”

  “All right.” I sighed.

  “Now let’s go in and grab a drink before we play those damn baby shower games.”

  My heart felt a little heavier the rest of the afternoon. Joel and I got the second game ready by filling up baby bottles with different types of beer. This was for the men who attended the shower who had enough of the baby shit.

  “Think they’d notice if I stole a bottle myself?” I asked Joel. He turned around with a bottle of beer already hanging from his mouth. I burst out laughing and grabbed one myself. It was surprisingly difficult to suck beer through the nipple at a fast pace.

  I was still holding a bottle from my teeth, sucking out a cold Sam Adams, when Cyn called my name to the circle of presents. “Come over here. We have an announcement to make.”

  “Oh, Jesus,” I muttered under my breath, which caused Joel to give me a weird look.

  “Everyone, now that you’re all here, Gage and I wanted to make an announcement in front of all the people we love dearly. We have decided to name Jenna our baby’s godmother and Joel our baby’s godfather. These two lost souls came into our bar years ago, looking for jobs. They didn’t realize they’d found a home and filled both mine and Gage’s hearts. We don’t know the sex of our baby, but this little girl or little boy is going to have awesome godparents who can teach them how to cuss and make a hell of a drink.”

  Cheers and hollers filled the bar, and Joel and I shared a look. He came over to me, picked me up, and planted a huge kiss on me. I laughed, overjoyed with emotion, and didn’t care about the flashes going off or the tears on my face. Joel kept his arm around me, and Cyn and Gage pulled us into a bear hug. It was in the top five happiest moments of my life.

  “How am I going to work tonight? I’m an emotional mess!” I said to Joel an hour later.

  “It’s so weird to see you like this, J. It’s adorable. You’re like a normal human today.”

  “I know! I hate it! Ugh!”

  He laughed at me as I helped clean up the rest of the party mess. My grandpa had to take off for his weekly Sunday poker games, but I was glad I got to see him.

  We were fully staffed that night, even though it was Sunday. The bar was closed all day for the private party. The baby news was on the bar’s Twitter page, I knew the crowd was going to be large.

  “Here comes the horde, Joel. Get ready.”

  “I’m always ready, baby.” He swatted my ass with a towel, and I retaliated.

  “Cut it out, man. And what the hell was with that kiss?”

  He grinned and licked his lips. “I’ve been wanting to do that for years.”

  “Shut the hell up. Not true.”

  “Nah, I was just caught up in the moment and went with it. If I recall, you kissed me back.”

  “Just caught up in the moment,” I echoed. “What can I say? Plus, your lips aren’t that bad.”

  “Wow. Big day for you, J. You let me kiss you, you complimented me, and I’m pretty sure you cried at the shower. You’re turning into a real woman!”

  I was about to punch him in his side, but patrons filled the bar with presents for Cyn and Gage. Plus, drinks were half price for the night.

  I was making a tray of shots for one of the servers to pass around on the house when I felt the back of my neck tingle. I looked up to see Aiden standing on the other side of the bar.

  “Hey! What’s up?”

  He smiled at me, and I felt my heart race. This was new. “I’m good. Thought I’d drop by for a drink after studying all afternoon by myself. It sucked.”

  I poked out my bottom lip. “Poor guy. Couldn’t have one of your special friends come help you?”

  “Nah, they don’t have the brains.” He realized his mistake and tried to cover it up. “Because I’m just so interested in their bodies.”

  “D-bag points, Aiden. Majorly.” I didn’t hide my smile.

  “Just being honest.” He shrugged.

  “Always are. Here, let me grab your drink real quick. We’re slammed.” I got his favorite beer and poured him a tall one.

  “Thanks, shorty. I’m actually here with some of the guys if you have time stop by and say hi.”

  I nodded. “Will do.”

  He slid a bill across the bar. “Here’s a ten. Keep the change.”

  “Drinks are half price tonight, but don’t worry. This one’s on me.”

  “Why half price?”

  “I thought you were all into Twitter and shit. Cyn and Gage named me and Joel the godparents of their offspring, and their shower was today.”

  “Oh, sweet. Congrats! That’s hella good news. I’ll catch ya later.”

  I watched him walk away and flirt with one of the waitresses on his way back. He wasn’t capable of not flirting. It normally made me chuckle, but this time it was different. My emotions must’ve still been out of whack from the baby shower, because I was absolutely not feeling jealous. Right?

  Chapter 16

  My, the Tables Have Turned-Aiden

  THE bar was packed, and I was glad Jenna hooked me up with a free beer. The looks the guys gave me when I sat down spoke enough.

  “Sorry, guys. You’ll just have to order when the waitress has time I guess.” I shrugged, oddly happy about it.

  “Lucky shit. I don’t know how you won her over, but good for you.” Nate hit my back.

  Kam ran his hand over his face and narrowed his eyes at me. It was the first time I was on the receiving end of that look. I didn’t like it.

  “What’s the problem, Kam?” After he’d asked my permission to ask Jenna out months ago, he finally did. I didn’t ask if they went out yet. I didn’t want to fucking know, but I had a feeling we were going to talk about it. Right fucking now.

  “You know we’re brothers, and I respect the shit out of you. But I gotta say I don’t think you’re good enough for Jenna. You sleep with women all the time. She’s not like them.”

  The table fell silent, and I laughed. “No shit, I’m not good enough for her. I never said I was.”

  “Okay, then. Glad you think s
o, too.” His tone darkened.

  “What’s this about, man? She’s just one of my friends.” I looked over at her and ignored the odd jump my stomach did when she gave me a small smile.

  “Sure. If that’s the case, then stop sending out the message she’s yours.” His voice, laced with venom, bothered me.

  “I didn’t know I was.” He continued looking at me, but the fight was out of his eyes. I took my chance at truce. “We cool?” I asked.

  “Yup. She’s a friend, and I care about her.”

  His underlying implication probably meant nothing to anyone else at the table, but I knew what he was saying. She told him he was just a friend. The relief I felt was comical, but I couldn’t show it. Not here. Luckily, the conversation picked up again when Zeke and Jon started talking about the winter formal coming up. We had a shit-ton of planning to do, and I needed the distraction.

  I kept watching Jenna pour drinks, and she caught me watching again and winked.

  Something about her was different today. I couldn’t figure it out, but when the other bartender, Joel, came up behind her and gave her a hug, she did something I never would’ve imagined. She hugged him back. This wasn’t the Jenna I knew. He said something, making her throw her head back and laugh. The sound carried over the bar. Her laughter made me smile. I knew I was in trouble and needed to sort shit out.

  “Whoa! You see this picture, Aiden?” Jon asked and held up his phone.

  It was a picture of Jenna and the bartender kissing, with the caption, Congrats to the new godparents. His arms were wrapped around her, and her eyes were closed.

  I saw red but did my best to hide it. And failed. “Huh. Interesting.”

  Jon smirked, and Nate hit my back again. “Dude. You need to let her know how you feel before you lose your shot. She’s a catch, and someone will win her over. Why not you?”

  I looked at Kam, and he nodded.

  Nate laughed and said, “You’re not the only one who can’t keep their eyes off the other. It’s obvious for everyone but you. Go talk to her so the rest of us can talk about tits and ass, because all this girly shit is making me need to whip my dick out.”

  I clapped Kam on the back and decided to go talk to her. “Jenna, babe, I really need to talk to you.”

  I think the use of babe got her attention, because she lifted her head with concern in her eyes. “Everything okay?”

  “Not really. Do you have a minute?” I ran my hand over my hair, letting out a deep breath.

  She looked around and frowned. “I’m sorry, I don’t. We’re slammed. You’re freaking me out. Can you wait until I get off? I’ll stop by.”

  “No, I’ll just come back.” Annoyance flared. I wanted to talk now, regardless of her situation. God, I was an asshole.

  “You sure you’re okay?”

  I nodded once. “I’m fine. I’ll talk to you then.”

  She bit her lip. Orders were being yelled all over. She was busy as hell, and it was rude of me to ask to talk. I just wasn’t thinking clearly.

  * * * *

  A couple hours later, I headed back toward the bar. I’d worked out for a long time and calmed down. I was nowhere near ready for a relationship. God. I couldn’t have one…I’d seen the aftermath too often. Screw that business. But I realized being friends with benefits would be perfect. I would keep her as one of my great friends but allow us to have fun with each other and ease this thing going on between us. I wasn’t capable of fighting my attraction, and I would do whatever the hell it took.

  It was around midnight when she walked out of the bar, looking around. “So were you waiting here long? I don’t even know what time it is.”

  “Not at all. I just walked up. You have a good night?” I kept my hands in my pockets to prevent myself from touching her.

  She nodded and grinned. “It was great. I made more tips tonight than I did at your party.”

  “Sweet. This is an awesome job.” I returned her smile.

  “Yeah, I agree. Plus, it never messes with my classes.”

  “Nerd.” I bumped my shoulder into hers playfully, but I didn’t realize she was on the curb, and she fell. “Holy shit!”

  “Damn it!” She was now sitting on the ground, legs in different directions, and I felt terrible. “I am so sorry! Shit! I was trying to flirt, and I knocked you over. What is happening to me?” I bent down and held out my hand.

  “This kind of reminds me of the first time I met you. Though you’re a bit nicer now.” She grabbed my hand, and I pulled her up.

  I saw there was dirt on her ass, so naturally, I swatted at it.

  “Hey, bud!” she protested.

  “You had some dirt there. I had to get it off. Are you okay, though, really?”

  “Yeah, I may be short, but I’m tough. You should be wise and remember that.” Her eyes narrowed.

  I snorted and demanded, “Come on, shorty. Hop on my back.”

  “No thanks. I’m good.” She gave me the most sarcastic smile possible.

  “Come on. We have to walk through some rocks, and I can’t trust you not to fall. I’ve seen you eat it like five times since I’ve known you. It’s safer this way.” I sensed her hesitation and reminded her of the other option. “If you don’t, I’ll pick you up caveman style.”

  “Seriously, you need to work on your flirting skills if that’s what you’re trying to do right now.” She threw her arms around my neck. Her legs wrapped around me, and then I realized I’d been avoiding the conversation I needed to have just as she was avoiding asking what was wrong.

  I felt her breathing pick up, and she moaned. Fucking hell. “Jesus. Don’t make that sound again.”

  The walk took another minute or two, and I set her down by a bench.

  “I wanted to talk to you about a couple things.” I ran my fingers down her arm in a familiar way, and she shivered. “I know you think I’m slutty. You’ve said it before, and I’m not going to deny I enjoy women. I’ve slept with multiple girls, and I’ll never lie about it.”

  She nodded. A flash of irritation swept across her face, but it was gone before I could be sure.

  “I need to ask you a question.” I lowered my voice.

  “Okay.” Her brow furrowed in concern.

  “Are you involved with that bartender Joel?”

  The nerves left her face, and she laughed. “Oh, no way in hell.”

  “Really? There was this picture on Twitter with you two kissing.”

  Jenna rolled her eyes. “Ugh! I’m going to kill Cyn. She must’ve posted it. It was just a random moment. We are not involved at all. He’s like my brother, literally.”

  “Good.” I couldn’t hold back my sigh of relief.

  “Is this why you wanted to talk to me? That’s ridiculous.” She laughed.

  I chuckled softy. “No. That wasn’t it. Listen, I am insanely attracted to you, and I know you’re attracted to me, too. Sometimes, like tonight, I don’t know how to handle it.”

  Her eyes widened and she scooted back. “How would you know I’m attracted to you? Yeah, you’re hot, but it’s different.”

  “I know because your nipples are poking through your shirt, and I can see your pulse racing right here in your neck. And when I do this, you lose your breath.” I leaned toward her and lowered my head to lightly trace her neck with my mouth. I continued up toward her mouth, but the fates were fucking against me, because someone shouted at me from the road.

  “Yo, Aiden! What up, assface? You heading DT tonight with the boys?”

  She pushed herself away from me with a tight expression.

  I’d lost my shot, and I was pissed. I took a breath before responding out of habit. “I don’t know yet, man. I’ll send ya a text if I head down.”

  “Ah, I see. You got yourself some ass for the night. Good for you. See you later, man.”

  She looked over at the guy walking down the street and sighed. She ran her fingers through her hair a
nd then put her hand on my shoulder. “Listen, Aiden. You’re right. I am attracted to you. I just don’t want to fuck up our friendship by sleeping together. It wouldn’t end well. Plus, I don’t do one-night stands.”

  “I know, and that’s one of the reasons I respect you. Something snapped today when I saw that picture of you and Joel. I don’t want you hooking up with other guys.”

  “Not your call.”

  “I know that, but I was jealous. It was weird.”

  “What? So you want us to hook up?” She gawped at me incredulously.

  “Yes. Like an arrangement or something. What the hell do they call it? Friends with benefits.”

  “An arrangement? Are you fucking kidding me?” she scoffed and continued, “Have you ever had a friends-with-benefits relationship before?”

  “Not really. Not really friends. More like continuous hook-ups with no future. You know I don’t do relationships, and I know you need more than a one-night stand. This is a compromise. We can be friends with benefits as long as you want. I think that’s the best solution. We get along great as friends, and this wouldn’t totally fuck it up.”

  “I didn’t realize there was a problem that needed to be solved.” Her voice was different, her face hard. Jenna was pissed. “I’m going to have to decline your swoon-worthy offer.”

  “Why?” I didn’t give a shit about my dignity or her feelings.

  “Because you don’t just ask someone to have an arrangement with them. It took a weird case of jealousy for you to be suddenly interested in fucking me. Not cool.” She backed away and took off walking.

  I followed, confused at her anger. “I don’t understand. I’m telling you I’m attracted to you. I don’t want you with other guys. There’s something between us. I want us to explore it by sleeping with each other.”

  She turned around, looking like she was ready to slap me. Fire lit her green eyes. She was even more attractive angry. I couldn’t explain it. “Aiden. Do you even hear yourself? Fuck. You.”

  “Jenna. We’re always honest with each other. Why all the anger?” I held up my arms in defeat. I thought I’d come up with a nice solution.