Guarded Heart

by C. A. Harms

  Things got better over the next week I had my best friend back and things become a little easier. I hadn’t heard any more from my mother which was fine with me I had nothing to say to her. Tony on the other hand kept sending texts message that he loved me and even left a rose on my car a few times with notes that I never read. I threw them in the garbage. I wanted him to just leave me alone. There was nothing left for us and I knew that without a doubt.

  Fourteen

  Mitch and Allison were having a little cookout and of course insisted that I come. I knew that Wes would be there and I felt so out of place. I really didn’t want to be there. Mitch had invited people from work and even family of his and Allison. Marilyn, Alli’s mom was there and I adored her she was always such a ray of sunshine. She immediately took me in her arms and hugged my tightly, “Well hello Beautiful girl. It is so wonderful to see you here.” Mitch even hugged me and whispered that he was glad me and Allison had made up because he was really beginning to hate that she cried herself to sleep and kept him up late talking about missing me.

  After about an hour I had mixed feeling about Wes. He hadn’t showed up and I felt relieved but yet a little disappointed too. Allison and I along with her mother and a few other ladies had relaxed on the loungers scattered along the deck and were enjoying a homemade batch of strawberry margaritas when Wes came through the back slider carrying his daughter. I choked a little on my drink causing Alli to turn around quickly. “Well hello princess, it is about time your daddy showed up”, she stood and walked over to take MaKayla from Wes. They shared a few low whispers and Wes glanced in my direction and then turned to walk over to join Mitch and the other guys from work. I felt a knot immediately form in my throat and I turned to face Alli who had sat next to me with MaKayla in her lap. “Kayla this is my very best friend Sam…” she smiled up at me so sweetly and I swallowed back the guilt. Wow she looked like her daddy…so much. “Hey sweetie, it is nice to meet you. You are so adorable, and I love your baby doll.” She was holding onto a doll with long dark hair just like hers. “My daddy got her for me”, I turned to look at Wes who was drinking a beer looking at us from across the yard. He looked pissed I just couldn’t yet sort out if it was directed toward me.

  MaKayla got down from Allison’s lap and went off to play with the other kids that were running around the yard. I got up and walked inside to refill my glass. I was feeling a little nervous. I stayed inside a little while trying to slow my racing heart. “So you still avoiding me or have we now moved on to pretending that we just don’t even know each other?” I turned to find Wes standing in the doorway with a beer in one hand and MaKayla’s doll in the other. “I’m not avoiding you or pretending I don’t know you I just…”he interrupted me before I finished. “Oh well forgive me, I mean I called you left messages and I guess I just assumed since I haven’t heard from you in what let’s see…almost four weeks that you wanted to forget you met me.” He looked so angry and maybe hurt. “I’m sorry I was embarrassed by what happened at the Deli that day…and then I saw you at the store with your ex-wife and I just assumed that you got back together.” He just shook his head and turned to walk back out the door into the backyard. I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath and I felt like my chest was on fire.

  I found my way back to Allison and sat down in the chair next to her. She was laughing at something one of the other ladies said. I could feel his eyes on me and I was really getting uncomfortable. I leaned in to Alli, “Hey, I um…I think I’m going to take off.” She spun to look at me and I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. She grabbed my hand and led me inside, “What is going on? What happened?” I told her about Wes and everything he said. I told her I felt like I should leave, that I felt really uneasy. I blinked as a tear ran down my cheek. “Listen to me…here come with me”, she led me down the hallway to her laundry room and closed the door behind me. “It isn’t just what’s going on with you. He’s having some issues with Sarah and really his anger is more related to her. He is wrong for directing it toward you and I will handle that…believe me.” I started to tell her not to say anything but she stopped me and continued. “He likes you believe me and I know he was hurt that you walked away and didn’t really give it a shot…but he has a very good reason to be pissed as hell at Sarah. He has a lot going on. Please just stay…please.” I agreed and she hugged me.

  The doorbell rang as we walked back through the kitchen and Allison walk over to answer it. I stood back waiting for her I didn’t want to walk out near Wes by myself. I heard her raise her voice and when I stepped forward to look in the direction of the front door I noticed that it was the same blond from the store Sarah, Wes’s ex. Allison closed the door and walk in my direction leaving her standing on the front porch. “This should be great she smells like a god damn brewery and she wants MaKayla. I have to get Wes…get ready to watch the fireworks…Damn it!” I froze at the doorway watching as she walked over and pulled Wes back a little to whisper in his ear. He immediately handed her his beer and came toward the house. As he walked passed me he didn’t even speak I could tell he was fuming. I knew I should move but I felt like I couldn’t I had no idea what was going on. He walked out the front door and slammed it behind him. I could hear him yelling but had no idea what she was saying in return.

  “Sarah you are fucking kidding me you dropped Kayla off at the sitters yesterday afternoon, you were supposed to pick her back up last night by nine. What the fuck…the sitter calls me today at noon to tell me that I need to come get her because you won’t answer your phone and she had to be somewhere. That’s insane. Then you have the nerve to show up here and try to pick my daughter up while you drunk off your ass. You’re not fucking taking her anywhere. If you don’t like that go get the cops I am pretty sure they are going to take my side on this. I told you if this happened one more time it would be that last. I’m done…I already called my lawyer Sarah I won’t have you fucking up Kayla life. Get the hell out of her…NOW!” I snuck out the back door before he came back in. I didn’t want him to know I had heard.

  I had found myself joining all the kids out in the yard and was now sitting in a cluster of little children while they tickled me and laughed as I pretended to be tiger growling like I was going to bite them. I was startled when I heard his voice, “Do you guys mind if I steal away the tiger for a minute…I need her help?” I turned and looked up into his eyes which seemed a little softer than before. I was attacked by MaKayla and Allison’s little cousin Trevor before I had time to prepare. I laughed as I fell back onto the grass and had them both lying on top of me giggling. Wes reached down and picked his daughter up raising her up above his head and tossed her lightly. “Okay crazy girl…she’ll be right back it will just take a second…promise.” He placed her back on to the ground and reached out to take my hand helping me up. I caught a glimpse of Allison smiling in our direction as we entered into the kitchen.

  “Listen I’m sorry about earlier. I had a pretty bad day and I took it out on you, you didn’t deserve it.” I shrugged it off, “Don’t worry about it, I understand.” He took a step toward me I was up against the counter leaning back and had nowhere to go. “It’s not okay. I directed my anger toward you instead of Sarah. I mean I still can’t figure out why you ‘ve been avoiding me but that’s an entirely different conversation.” Wes stood less than a foot away from me and I could smell his cologne and his lips were tilted slightly in the sexiest way. I wanted to kiss his lips but I bite my lower lip to control myself. “I realized that day you showed up here after you got into it with your ex and Mitch carried you in that I had some sort of attraction to you. I mean I had never seen you before, I heard your name from being around here but that was it. That night seeing how sad and hurt you were set my stomach on fire I wanted to find the guy that hurt you and beat the shit out of him. I had no idea why and just brushed it off.” I stared at him listening to his confession. I barely knew him, granted I couldn’t stop thinking about him but still. “After I f
ound out the story behind it all, well I waited it out even though I asked about you often. Allison picked up on my interest in you and well yeah she helped me set up that night at the bar.” He took another step forward and closed the gap between us as he placed his hands on either side of me and his face was now close to mine. I could feel his breath on my face, “I am so attracted to you Samantha. I think about you too often. I have missed you and I know it’s crazy but you are under my skin. I want to get to know you and not just the sex part…even though that is really damn good.” He grinned and I shifted from the heat I now felt down low in my stomach.

  He continued to look at me as he lowered his gaze to my lips causing him to lick his lower lip. For god sakes just kiss me already. I felt like yelling it out. Forget it damn it I’ll did it I. I pushed off the counter and brought my hands to his face and met his lips with mine. He responded immediately when he placed his hands on my hips and pulled me closer. “Is that a yes to getting to know each other”, he whispered against my lips and I smiled in return. “Yes, I would love to spend more time with you…you have to know though I am going to be horribly insecure, jealous and clingy. I have a terrible view of relationships and I am trying to look passed it all but you got to know it may not be easy. If that’s too much…I understand.” He kissed me again this time his tongue brushed my lower lip and then he pulled away entirely too soon causing me to pout. A sexy grin spread across his face again, “Don’t worry about it I think I can handle you.” He winked and then he guided me back outside to join the party.

  Fifteen

  After the party had ended Wes decided he needed to get MaKayla home and put to bed. He kissed me goodbye and told me he would call me later… “Answer your phone.” I laughed and guaranteed him I would.

  I went home to find Tony sitting in his car out front of my house. I hated that he felt this was okay to keep showing up and pretending that what he did was okay. “What the hell do you keep showing up here for?” I yelled in his direction as he got out of the car and I walked to my front door. He ran after me and came up behind me as I tried to unlock the door. He put his arms around my waist tightly and squeezed me to him. “I can’t be without you babe, please forgive me. Please Sam I love you and I messed up so big. I need you! I am so unhappy and I need you babe…so bad.” I tried to pull away from him but he just held me tighter. “God Damn Tony LET GO!” I used my arms and legs to get free from him. When I turned to face him I noticed his eyes were red and he looked tired. “I am miserable Sam, I love you so much and I only want you. I love you.” I stood there staring at the man I once thought I would spend the rest of my life with. A man who at one time I would have done anything for…anything and not thought twice about it. I stared at him and…felt nothing. I didn’t feel sorry for him or angry toward him I just felt disgusted that he actually thought this attempt would change anything.

  I finished unlocking my door and walked into the house but before I closed the door I turned back to him, “Tony I want you to leave. This time don’t ever come back. You chose your life…now you have to live with those choices. You have a baby on the way and that baby deserves to have a daddy…a full time dedicated daddy. Go back to Heather and make a life with her because that’s where you belong now…not here not anymore.” I closed my door and left him standing on the front porch.

  I placed my phone onto the sink next to the shower and I stepped in. As I was rinsing my hair it rang. I felt like a teenager when I saw ‘Wes’ light up the screen. I leaned out and grabbed it quickly, “Two seconds I have to finish rinsing my hair…” I quickly finished and stepped out to wrap a towel around my hair. After I dried and threw on my nighty I picked up the phone again.

  Okay Sorry I promised I would answer so I had to even though I was showering.

  He laughed and I could sense his sexy grin,

  In the shower huh…I have very good memories of you and that shower.

  Oh yes I do to. I let my mind wonder back to the morning we had sex in my shower and I had to squeeze my legs tightly together. Oh how I wished he was here right now so we could hit replay over and over…

  Me too…We will have to try that again soon.

  A deep moan escaped him from the other end of the phone only causing me to feel wet instantly. Damn this man what was it with him and his direct connection to my lady business.

  Believe me I would be there in a second if I could. I could definitely use me a little taste of Sam…it has been way to long. What are doing tomorrow?

  The sound of his voice was so sexy and he had me melting against my wall where I stood leaning listening to his purr.

  I think I’m free what do you have planned?

  I was really glad now that I stuck around today at Allison’s and didn’t bail when I thought he hated me. I was so happy at this moment and I had every intention of enjoying every single second.

  I am taking Makayla to my parent’s house for lunch and the whole family will be there I was hoping you would join us…I already told my mom you would be coming so you want to think real hard before you reject the invite because my mom isn’t someone you want to offend.

  His parent’s house…WHAT…was he kidding.

  Wes you don’t want me tagging along with you to your family lunch. I mean we just starting talking again and frankly we have had sex more than we have talked so I barely know you. I will feel so awkward being there.

  He sighed deeply…

  How did I know you would say that? Let me tell you something they actually have heard about you more than you think and I should feel a little embarrassed by admitting that. I have a big family and I am very close to each one of them. They are great and believe me when I say that you will not have time to feel out of place. They are good people and everyone is welcomed. My mother wouldn’t allow you to feel uncomfortable.

  I took a deep breath and was getting ready to decline when he started again.

  MaKayla is excited you will be there too. She went to bed early so it would come faster. She thinks you’re pretty great. I have to agree with her…and after lunch Kay is staying with her granny and pappy so we can be alone tomorrow night. Maybe a movie and dinner in…

  Damn it he pulled the MaKayla card and that drove it home by tempting me with alone time with no other than MR. HOT AND SEXY! He did not play fair.

  Fine…I’ll go.

  He laughed and we said our good byes with him promising to pick me up tomorrow at eleven am.

  Sixteen

  I opened the front door to MaKayla in a Beautiful purple dress but her hair was a complete mess. Wes stood a few feet behind her holding a brush and a bag of hair accessories. He looked defeated and just shrugged his shoulders. I laughed then stepped aside to allow them in the door. I took Kayla to the bathroom where I started on her ‘Rat’s Nest’. I was just finished up with her Pigtails when I felt Wes place his hand on my hip and bring his face around to kiss my cheek. “Thank you, hair is way above my head and she always cries because I brush too hard.” I smiled at him before turning back to tie in her purple bows. “All done Princess you look Beautiful”, I told her as I helped her down from where she sat on the counter. MaKayla turned to face Wes, “Sam did it soft daddy it didn’t hurt at all.” She then walked out carrying her baby doll Wes had gotten her and went to the kitchen. He leaned forward and kissed me softly whispering a thank you. I smiled in return and we found our way to the kitchen. After grabbing my things I followed them out of the door and we drove to Wes’s family home.

  I took a few deep breaths as he parked his car in the driveway. “Don’t be nervous Sam…really you look beautiful and they are going to love you…come on.”

  Before we could even reach the door it came open and I assumed the two people standing there were his parents. The man was a skinnier less built version of Wes in about thirty years. His mother was a tiny little thing she could not have been more than five feet tall. She looked like the most delicate lady I had ever met. MaKayla wrapped herself around the
m both and then took off into the house to find her cousins. Wes introduced me to them both and his mother hugged me and welcomed me to her home. We stepped in and his father told me to make myself at home… “Don’t be nervous hun, with this group you just got to jump right in or sweetheart they will surely eat you alive…they smell fear.” He laughed and I felt Wes grab my waist and whisper, “Come on baby you have more family to meet.”

  The big family room and kitchen attached was swarming with adults and kids. I felt overwhelmed I came from a family of just me and my parents. The fact that I was now standing here in his parent’s home looking at what appeared to be a small army made me feel like making a mad dash for the nearest exit. I heard a few people yell out to Wes and a couple kids where now hanging on his legs laughing.

  “Everybody this is Sam…my girlfriend.” He turned to me as if to weigh my reaction to him calling me ‘His Girlfriend’. Everyone started to walk over to us as he went through the introductions of all his siblings, nieces and nephews. He had two brothers one older, Randall and his wife Melanie their two kids Kyle and Kendall. His younger brother Wade which plays as the drummer in the band that played that first night I met him in the bar, his wife Amy who was seven months pregnant with their first child. Then he had one sister Rachel who was the youngest at twenty four and had twin boys Matthew and Andrew and a five month old daughter Rose. He had a beautiful family and he was right they were so warm and inviting. His brother immediately began given away all his little secrets growing up and his sister told all the stories of when he came to her rescue and would beat up all the boys that were ever mean to her. Her husband Marty chimed in, “Hell he even beat the snot out of me when he found me kissing her on the front porch after our third date.” Wes laughed, “Kissing my ass Marty you were mauling my little sister against the front door.” They all laughed it off.