Guarded Heart

by C. A. Harms

  I helped his mom and sister in the kitchen and I felt like part of the group. They didn’t treat me like the new girl. I felt comfortable and realized quickly that I had to joke right along with them. His dad at one point gave me a light pack on the shoulder saying, “I think you are going to fit right in with this rowdy bunch hun…no worries.”

  Wes came into the kitchen to grab a beer and his sister asked him about Sarah. He shot her a look and I turned back to what I was doing. “What…sorry you know I hate that girl. I always have and it just pisses me off that she left Kayla at the sitters like that. What does your lawyer say?” I heard them talking behind me as I continued to keep my hands busy next to his mom. I tried not to hear them as he discussed that his lawyer felt he would be granted temporary full custody due to the fact that she had abandoned MaKayla a number of times over the last six months to get loaded with random guys. I had no idea that his ex was that kind of person seeing her you wouldn’t have guessed that.

  I hadn’t realized that they had finished the discussion but I felt him brush up behind me as I stood with my back to everything at the sink washing my hands. Wes had his hands resting on each side caging me to the sink. I could feel his breath on my neck and smell his cologne. His presence that close did crazy things to me and that I found to be unbelievably unfair. “Sorry about that, I hate talking about her.” He brushed my hair back and kissed my neck right below my ear. There it is again…direct-connect as I squeezed my legs together. He pulled back and looked at me. I knew I had to explain why I had just crossed my legs tightly. Damn it! How embarrassing. I turned to face him and after a minute I looked up at him. By the look on his face I had a feeling he already knew, “What’s wrong baby, you having a little trouble.” I squinted my eyes at him damn him he knew what he did to me. “No I am good thanks”, I had to push my way free. He held me there to whisper before releasing me, “Don’t worry baby I’ll take care of the need real soon.” I bite my lip and walked away to hear him chuckle behind me. I had to get a grip I was at his parent’s house for fuck sakes.

  Lunch was great they were all so at ease with one another and MaKayla had to sit next to me which made me smile. She was such a sweet girl how could her mommy not see that? Before we left I had to let each person hug me and thank me for coming. Wes’s mother thanked me for making her boy smile. She placed a kiss on my cheek and then brushed away the lipstick she left behind. Kayla had hugged her daddy and was still dangling from his neck as he tickled her and laughed into her hair. He seemed to get sexier every time I looked at him which was hard to believe.

  We were on our way back to town, “So do you want to stop anywhere or do you…” I didn’t look at him as I replied, “Nope…is your place closer or mine?” He grinned and let out a deep laugh. I was not even going to look at him he knew the effect he had on me and I had to find a way to get him back for being a tease. Did I have no effect on him? He was kind of giving me a complex. “My place is about two minutes away.” I just nodded and he laughed lightly.

  When we walked up the stairs to his apartment he stayed behind me and told me it was number four to the right. I kept walking and didn’t turn. I was aggravated at myself for being unable to control my urges around him. If I wasn’t so damn horny I would have made him drop me off at home.

  After he unlocked his door and let me walk in ahead of him I slowly looked around. It was a bachelor pad for sure. It was cute but plain. I saw the evidence of MaKayla being here as her dolls and toys were piled in the corner and in the center of the living room floor. I walked to the other side of the room and turned to face him as he stood by the closed front door watching me. After a moment of silence I let it out, “Do I seriously have no effect on you…I mean I am so built up with…god. You stand here like you don’t feel it and it is so UNFAIR! Because your voice makes my body feel like...it is on fire, your lips…and the way that you lick your lower lip…drives me insane with need. The moment you are near me I can feel it without even looking I can just…feel you and the fact that you’re standing here just looking at me like I could walk out that door and you could just sit on the couch like nothing happened it’s…frustrating the hell out of me.”

  Wes dropped his keys on the table as he walked across the room slowly toward me. He was just staring at me not saying a word. He grabbed his shirt and lifted it over his head holding it in his hand for just a second then tossing it in the chair. When he reached me he grabbed my waist and lifted me up setting me onto the countertop that separated his kitchen and living room. He slowly nudged my legs open to rest in between them as he ran his hands up my bare legs and under my skirt bringing them to a stop on my thighs. He looked directly at me and leaned in as if to kiss me. Wes lightly licked his lower lip just to add a little more tension causing me to squeeze my knees creating pressure on each of his sides. “You actually believe that you have no effect on me huh? You think that I don’t actually feel the need you do. I find it hard to think about you without feeling insanely hungry. I have thought about your body every fucking day since that day you walked out of that Deli. I control my hunger for you but it is there Sam. Every damn second it is there. I told you that you are under my skin and I meant it. I crave you so badly. The feel of your soft skin and the taste of you…so addicting, I want you so badly and today not being able to make love to you drove me out of mind. I want to bury myself deep inside of you and forget about everything else.’’ Wes leaned in to suck my lower lip into his mouth and bite lightly then releasing I moaned softly as he pulled back, “That right there…that sexy ass little moan is so hot.” Wes moved his hands up a little as he traced the edges of my panties with the tips of his fingers. I pushed my hips forward into his hands. “Touch me…please”, I begged him. I could see he was turned on. He ran his hands up along my hips grabbing at my panties to slide them off. I rose up so they could be removed easily. I sat here on his countertop exposed as my skirt was gathered around my waist and my panties now lay at his feet. He kept his hands secured on my thighs and brought his mouth to mine slowly teasing me with his tongue. Wes ran kissing along my jawline and then down my neck. His tongue was lethal as he teased and nipped at my chest. He reached for my dress and lifted it over my head. I unclasped my bra and dropped it next to me leaving me now naked besides my boots. He continued the pleasurable tease with his tongue along my neck and chest passing to take each nipple into his mouth and sucking lightly. “Baby, you are so fucking sexy. I could spend hours and hours touching you and kissing you still needing more. Sam I am addicted to your body. I can’t get enough of you.” I was extremely turned on, “I need you inside me…now.” I slid to the edge of the counter and wrapped my legs around him to try to pull him closer. He pulled back and my legs fell to the sides, “Not yet Samantha…I want to taste you first.” I felt the moisture pool between my legs with the thought of his tongue teasing me. He smiled the drop dead sexy grin and then lowered himself between my legs. I felt his tongue trace my inner thigh before pulling back just long enough to look up at me quickly. Not taking his eyes from mine he lowered his mouth over my clitoris and sucked it lightly massaging it between his lips. “Oh Yeah, god that feels so good…Mm”, my head fell back as he continued to taste me. Running his tongue through my folds to once again suck on my swollen clit and I began to feel myself climb higher and higher. I gripped his hair and he licked and sucked until I exploded onto his tongue. “Oh yeah baby…” Wes slid his finger into me and after a couple strokes he added a second one. He brought his mouth to mine and kissed me deeply. “You taste so good baby…so sweet.” He pumped his fingers in and out of me while he lowered his jeans with his other hand and then his boxers. He was so hard and ready, “I need to be inside of you…deep inside.” He could undo me with his words alone. Would I ever get enough of him…I really doubted it. I felt him guide his hard cock to my wetness and slowly pushed in until he could go no further. “Fucking hell…damn baby you are so fucking tight! You are so wet.” He thrust forward and I came hard ar
ound him yelling his name as he moaned loudly and started pumping harder and faster. “Tell me your mine”, he panted as he continued to drive into me over and over. I felt that familiar pressure begin to build, “Tell me Baby…Tell me your pussy is mine.” I came once again and I yelled back at him, “Yes yours it’s yours…Oh Wes…Fuck ya!” He slammed into me once…twice as he exploded deep inside me. He could make me lose my mind completely. I knew sex with him was never dull. He was so expressive and really pleased me to the extreme.

  After our breathing became under control he looked into my eyes, brushing my hair away from my face. He kissed me slowly, “Spend the night with me Sam. I don’t want you to leave. I just want to wake up next to you again…please.” I nodded my head in response and he picked me up and carried me to his bed. We fell asleep with my head on his chest and our legs wrapped together.

  POUNDING…We woke to someone pounding on the door. “What the fuck…” Wes mumbled as he crawled from bed. “Wait here baby”, he whispered as he slipped on a pair of shorts. I looked over at the alarm clock and it was almost one in the morning. I felt my heart race…something must be wrong. I heard some yelling and a woman’s voice mixed with his. I got up from the bed and eased my way to the doorway but only so I could hear.

  “Where the hell is my daughter Wesley? GIVE HER TO ME!” I heard a light scuffle and then silence. I peeked out to see him holding her against the wall by the door. “You need to leave Sarah you are wasted and if you think I am going to give her to you in this condition you are crazier than I gave you credit for. Get your sorry ass boyfriend and get back in your car now…or I will call the police. I’m pretty sure by the look of both of you…alcohol isn’t the only thing in your system. Wes nudged her out the door and slammed it behind him. After taking a few deep breaths he grabbed his phone off the table and I slipped on his T-shirt that was on his floor then went to him. He was dialing his phone, “Who are you calling?” He looked at me and mouthed ‘Cops’. When they answered he explained that he just witnessed a drunk driver swerving all over and gave them the plate number. Once he hung up he looked at me, “I’m just securing my daughters safety…she will not get her back. That is a promise!” I felt like maybe I should say or do something when he reached for my hand and pulled me to him kissing me softly and when he looked at me again he smiled. “Can I take you back to bed and…make love to you very slowly?” Oh hell yes and that is just what he did.

  Seventeen

  Over the next few weeks spending time with Wes was a little rough due to our work schedules. He was spending the nights at his parent’s house since Makayla was staying there. He didn’t feel comfortable taken her to daycare because he had to wait to see a judge about Sarah’s condition. We spent as much time as possible with each other. He was always so sweet and I really enjoyed our time together. I felt alive and I knew he cared about me he never once hid that.

  ‘I miss you beautiful’ this was my text waiting for me after work on Thursday. I missed him too more than I thought I would. It had only been four days since I had seen him but it had seemed so much longer.

  When I got home I decided I would just order a pizza and when I started to dial the number my phone rang in my hand. Just seeing his name made me smile so big.

  Hello handsome…how was your day?

  He sounded off a little. I knew he was nervous about tomorrow. He went in front of the judge regarding custody of MaKayla.

  It was a long day how about you.

  I wanted to hold him or kiss him something, anything…

  Are you okay? Did something happen?

  He didn’t respond right away…

  Can I come in for a few minutes?

  Was he serious…was he here? I walked over to the front window and looked out to see him sitting in his truck waiting.

  Of course…come in.

  I had the front door open waiting for him as he came up the sidewalk. He took me into a strong hug and just held me in the doorway. I hugged him back, “What is going on Wes?” I whispered against his neck. He breathed me in and let out a deep breath, “I missed you and I wanted to see you before I went to see Kayla. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. Sarah showed up at my parents today and put on one hell of a show in front of Kayla. It took over an hour to get her to stop crying. My mom had to call the cops on her and her boyfriend.” He looked so stressed and I felt horrible that he and Sweet Kayla had to go through this. I agreed to go with him to his parents and changed into some jeans quickly and we left.

  He held my hand the entire way lightly rubbing his thumb across my knuckles. The ride was quiet and I let him just think without interruption. His sister was there with the baby and Makayla instantly ran from Rachel’s lap to leap into her daddy’s arms. I couldn’t believe her mommy was putting her threw this garbage. I joined them all for dinner and when it came to bedtime Kayla cried and cried because she wanted her daddy to stay all night with her. He knew he needed to take me back to town and I could tell he felt torn. “Hey, don’t worry about it I can call Allison to come and get me really it is okay. She needs her daddy to comfort her…she feels safe with you.” I kissed him lightly and told him to take her to bed.

  Allison pulled in about twenty minutes later and after I told his parents goodbye I left. I filled Alli in on the way home about all the stuff Wes was going through with Sarah. “Listen with all of this I probably shouldn’t even bring it up but you’ll find out eventually anyway. I saw Heather today at the Hospital…she lost the baby.” Oh no…I mean I hated her for what she did to me but I felt sorry for her and Tony they had lost their baby. She must be crushed. “How is she doing?” Allison pulled in to my driveway and turned to me,” She didn’t say much I could just tell she was heartbroken. She was there for a follow up with her doctor.” Wow…for the first time since I found out Tony had cheated I actually felt sad for him. I hugged her goodbye and went inside.

  I knew I shouldn’t but I called Tony anyway.

  Sam, Hi…

  He sounded okay maybe a little to okay.

  Um hi…I just wanted to call to tell you and Heather how sorry I am to hear about the baby. She must be heartbroken.

  He paused before answering.

  Yeah it was a shock really. She went in for a regular visit and the baby had no heartbeat. She’s been a wreck since…she went to stay with her mom…so

  I was wondering how he was but I didn’t want him to look into it further then he needed to. I decided to end this call and I was already regretting even calling to offer my sympathy.

  Well I just wanted to say I was sorry but I’m going to let you go now

  And he went for it…

  Sam I want you back…please. I can’t stop thinking about you. Will you please just talk to me…please Sam I love you so much.

  I couldn’t do this I just hung up…why the hell was I so stupid. I never should have called him…Idiot Samantha…damn it.

  A text came through and I thought for sure it was from Tony.

  Have I told you lately how amazing and understanding you are…you are so special to me and I adore you.

  My heart raced when I read it. Wes was thanking me for being amazing and damn it I just called my Ex fiancée. Dumb Samantha, just so fucking dumb!

  You are pretty amazing and wonderful yourself. Sweet dreams Handsome!

  My phone kept ringing for the next fifteen minutes and I refused to answer it. Then my doorbell rang…motherfucker you have got to be kidding me. I was so damn pissed off at myself.

  I opened the door to Tony and he immediately started pleading with me to forgive him. We argued for about twenty minutes and I really just wanted him to leave. I told him there would never be an ‘Us’ ever again. He wasn’t getting it. I screamed at him, “I NEVER SHOULD HAVE CALLED YOU!” I fisted my hands and started to tell him to leave again when I heard Wes from behind Tony, “You called him?”

  Oh no! Shit… “It’s not what you think Wes really. Heather lost her baby and I called to
tell them I was sorry to hear about it…that was it.” The look on his face broke my heart as he just stood there staring at me. I could tell he was pissed, “Tony I think you better take off.” Tony spun around and took a step toward Wes. “I am really not sure who the fuck you think you are but I am not going to go anywhere. I came to work things out with Sam and I am not…”, before he could finish Wes grabbed his shirt and slammed him against the house holding him securely. “I said fucking leave!” He let go of Tony and he stepped back to allow him to pass, “Sam I still love you and I am not going to give up…I will get you back.” Tony turned and left, I swallowed hard and when I saw the look on Wes’s face panic set in, “Wes please…don’t be mad let me explain.” He held his hand up to stop me, “Do you want him?” I shook my head immediately, “Do you still think about him…do you still love him?” I started to answer him but he interrupted me, ‘Forget it Sam, I can’t do this…I have enough shit going on right now this…you and I, I just can’t do right now.” He turned and walked toward his truck. I ran after him, “Stop…Wes stop look at me please. I don’t want him. I want you please don’t leave mad. Don’t walk away please!” I pleaded with him but he never turned around he just got in his truck and backed out.

  I tried calling him three times with no answer. I cried and cried then tried once more leaving a message this time.

  I told you I wanted you and you walked away…you just left. I don’t want Tony and I never will…that part of my life is over. I felt bad for Heather after everything they did I still would never wish losing a child on anyone. I see the way you are with Kayla and it tore at my heart thinking that they would never get that with the child they had lost. I had a weak moment where I put my feelings aside to share my sympathy…it was a terrible lapse in judgment. I know you are going through a lot but the way that you left things it was just wrong. You can’t do the ‘us’ anymore…fine if that’s how you want it but you remember you are the one that walked away. I hope everything works out with MaKayla… Goodbye Wes.