Guarded Heart

by C. A. Harms

  I lost it as I started crying hard and stumbled in through the door almost falling over my bag as I drug it along side of me. He caught me around the shoulders before I planted my face into the hardwood floor of my entry way. He turned me to face him, “Samantha I am here okay, if I would have known about the pregnancy I would have been here then too. I want to make up for everything but you have to let go of your anger toward me…please”, his voice sounded shaky and hurt. I hung my head, “I don’t want you to be here just because I’m pregnant…I want you to be here because you can’t live without ME…You need ME. I need you Wes but I CAN NOT go through the hurt and heartbreak anymore. I can’t trust anyone with my heart because it always gets broke…every time.”

  “Not this time baby…never again!”

  Wes and Kayla ended up spending the night with me. He didn’t feel good about leaving and I was exhausted. I just barely made it to my bed after my shower. He got Kayla settled and asleep when he finally crawled into my bed with me. I was barely awake but I felt him pull me securely against him from behind placing a kiss on my temple. He softly whispered that he loved me that he refused to live another day apart from me and he was going to take care of what was his from this day forward.

  Twenty Eight

  “HOVERING…He is smothering me I mean it…If I get up in the middle of the night to pee he seriously his knocking on the door asking if everything is okay…I think I am being suffocated”, Rachel was laughing so hard as I vented about her overbearing overprotective brother. She met me for lunch Saturday afternoon. It had been almost four weeks since Wes found out about the baby and he was taking the “Taking care of me” very seriously. “I was feeling movement last night and I held my hand to my stomach I guess to long and he freaked out like I was in pain or we needed to go to the ER. It took me fifteen minutes to convince him that everything was fine.” She couldn’t stop laughing.

  “So Monday you have the sonogram right? I hope they can tell what the sex is I am so ready to start buying things”, she was all excited. I would be 21 weeks tomorrow and the doctor is doing the sonogram Monday morning to determine the sex. Wes took the morning off and we were taking Kayla with us. She was excited about having a brother or a sister. I told him I wanted her to be there when we found out. She has to give my tummy a kiss every night before bed and she whispers good night into my belly, it really is the sweetest thing. She has attached herself to my hip but her mommy decided after only completing two weeks of her ninety day substance abuse treatment that she had enough and checked herself out. No one has heard from her or seen her since. It was so sad that Sarah could honestly do that to Kayla…she was really missing out on an amazing little angel.

  After I finished lunch I stopped into the grocery store to pick up a few things I needed. Wes was helping his dad with a bathroom he was remodeling and had been there all day. He took MaKayla with him. Wes had been making a lot of comments lately about maybe we should just move in together because he was at my place ninety percent of the time anyway. I was getting pretty good at avoiding the conversation and quickly sidetracking him from it getting any further.

  “Sam…Wow I had no idea that…um…you were having a baby”, Tony was in the isle next to me. I had seen him and thought of getting back out of line to wait in the back of the store until I knew he would be gone. I stayed though and he found me, “Yeah I am a little over five months actually.” I continued to load my things onto the counter and chose to not go into any more detail with him. I had noticed that he was lingering by the door as I paid and turned to leave. “So the guy that was at your house that time…is he the dad?” Why was he waiting? I didn’t want this conversation, “His name is Wes and yes he is the father.”

  He followed me out to my car and I began feeling really uncomfortable. “Not really good for you to be lifting all these bags and things on your own. Not much of a man if he isn’t helping you and taking care of you is he?” Yeah he was really going to go there. Damn it…I just wish he would have walked away. “You know what Tony that is really none of your business…if you must know he has no idea I even stopped at the store. He is an amazing guy and he takes care of me perfectly…you of all people have no right at all to worry about if I am being taking care of because Wes isn’t the one that couldn’t keep his dick out of random women.” Tony never backed down after I just yelled at him. “Here let me help you. You shouldn’t be lifting that shit”, he grabbed the bag out of my hand and leaned in entirely to close grazing his arm across my stomach. I flinched anyway and he noticed, “I am not going to hurt you Sam wow…I just don’t want you lifting that stuff. You shouldn’t be overdoing it. He should be doing this shit not you.” He placed his hand on my stomach and I pushed him away shutting my trunk and getting into my car. He stood there next to my car for a few minutes and then walked away. The fact that he placed his hand on my stomach was entirely out of line and to intimate.

  I grabbed my phone and quickly dialed…

  Wes, are you still at your parent’s? I breathed into the phone. I tried to slowly relax but I couldn’t believe Tony actually had the nerve to act that way. I wanted to tell Wes every detail and now.

  I am actually pulling into your drive-way, Kayla stayed with mom…why baby…what’s wrong where are you?

  I told him I would be right there and I drove home the shortest route. My heart was racing and I was really…I didn’t know exactly what I was to be honest I just knew that I did not like that situation AT ALL!

  When I pulled in Wes came walking out and down the sidewalk. He looked a little worried when he seen me and took me into his arms asking me what happened and if me and the baby were okay. I told him everything that happened with every single detail of my encounter with Tony down to when he placed his hand onto my stomach. Wes was beyond pissed but I just needed him to know so it later didn’t come back to cause us problems because I kept if from him. He finally relaxed and insisted on carrying every bag in my trunk in by himself.

  We had the night to ourselves and I knew that sex between us has been scarce I was just beginning to open up to him again but he looked so stressed and I just felt like I needed him close. After he put the groceries away I was able to convince him to take a shower with me. We have only been together sexually twice since we got back together but I just felt so unattractive even though he told me I was beautiful. He stepped into the shower and I leaned back into him when he brought his hands to rest onto my hips. I knew what was on his mind once our bodies came together because I could feel him against me. He was already hard and I hadn’t even touched him. I let him explore me with his hands and just took in all the sensations running through me. Wes was so gentle and sweet. His hand slid down between my legs to lightly massage me. I spread my legs just slightly to allow him better access as he slipped into me and he began fingering me slowly. I moaned and pushed forward to meet his hand moaning with every movement. “Is my girl horny? Do you need me to make you feel better baby?

  Hm…Sam do you need me relieve you? You need to cum don’t you baby?” Holy shit did I ever I moaned and said yes please. He lowered himself to slide his hard cock between my legs running it along my folds to open me up for entrance. I arched myself up opening more for him as he gently entered me. I felt so full and extremely turned on. “Yes that feels so good…fuck me please”, I encouraged him on as he began to move. Slowly at first and then he picked up and really began pumping himself in and out of me. He brought his hand back around the front and began massaging my swollen clit as he gripped my hip with the other hand. He felt amazing as he moved his hips in a circular motion. Wes was hitting that spot that drove me over the top. I screamed out his name as I came around him. He groaned deep in his chest right before he reached his own release. “I love you baby…so fucking much”, He whispered against my shoulder before he kissed me and pulled out slowly.

  Twenty Nine

  We sat in the waiting room of the doctor’s office and Kayla was getting a little antsy. This wou
ld be Wes’s first time coming with me and he was almost as bad as she was because he continuously was shifting around in his seat. I think I told him to sit still ten times in the last fifteen minutes.

  “Samantha…we are ready for you”, the nurse announced that it was our turn. Wes and Kayla followed me back as we entered the room that had the Sonogram machine set and ready. The nurse excused herself and said that the doctor would be in soon.

  “Good morning Samantha…and you must be daddy?” The doctor spoke directly to Wes shaking his hand and of course he was beaming. “So are we ready to see if you are going to have a baby brother or a baby sister”, Dr. Overlash spoke directly to MaKayla as he sat down in his chair next to me. I lay with my belly in clear view and bare. Wes came up on the other side of me so he could see the screen clearly and took my hand in his. He had lifted Kayla to sit up on the edge right next to me.

  “Here we go!” The doctor announced as he placed the warm jelly covered instrument to my belly and began moving it around. Everything came into view and appeared in so much detail. I was getting a 3D sonogram and it was amazing compared to my last one. Wes was mesmerized by what he was seeing and he watched the doctors every move. “Here we have a foot, and what appears to be a hand…wait a minute let me try to position this just right…yeah here we are. It looks like little Miss MaKayla you will be getting a…baby brother.” The doctor spoke as he brought his hand up to the monitor screen to point to the spot determining in fact we were having a little boy. I felt Wes squeeze my hand tightly when I turned to look up at him he smiled, “I told you it was a little man…now we get to pick out a name.”

  Kayla wanted a little sister so she was now in her car seat pouting to us, “Daddy I want a sissy. Go back and tell the doctor I wanted a sissy.” I was covering my smile with my hand…Wes could take this one. “Kayla maybe the next baby will be a sissy, we will just have to keep trying until we get you a sissy but I am pretty sure you will like your bubby when he gets here just as much.” What was he talking about keep trying… um no. This little man I was cooking was a huge surprise and if I would have been paying attention when I was on the antibiotics I would have read the warnings and realized my pill was less affective. I knew the baby factory was closed after this one for a long while. Wes noticed my worried look on my face as I was registering what he said. “I want to make lots of babies with you.”

  I just chose to let that conversation go for a while. When we arrived back to my place I decided to take the whole day off and Kayla was just staying with me. Wes said his good byes and took off for the other half of his day at work. I made a couple calls to share the news first to Allison and then my boss at work. I let Wes tell his family because I knew he was very excited to be having a boy.

  I put Kayla down for a nap and was just about to get dinner loaded into the crockpot for a slow cook throughout the afternoon when the doorbell rang. I quickly made it to the door because I did not want to wake Kayla. I never looked to see who it was and when I was standing in my doorway facing my mother I almost slammed in back shut. Her gazed immediately dropped to my belly and then back to meet my eyes with a look on her face as if she just finished sucking on a lemon slice. “Well I guess Tony wasn’t exaggerating you are knocked up…hm unmarried and pregnant. Wow Samantha you are really making a complete mess of your life. I am completely disappointed in your choices. I am going to have a bastard grandchild, well I will definitely not be telling anyone about this situation.” She stood there staring at me shaking her head…god damn selfish bitch. My anger was boiling, “Who the hell do you think you are lady? First of all this is not YOUR GRANDCHILD you bitch. If you ever show your face at my home again calling my unborn child a bastard…you will need to be carried out of here. You are not welcomed and my choice of life is none of your damn business. I am not alone you bitch my child’s father is very much a part of my life. Leave now before I call the police and have you escorted away.” I didn’t wait for her to respond I shut the door leaving her on the porch with her mouth hanging open.

  When I turned to walk back to the kitchen I heard, “What is a Basserd Child?” Kayla was standing at the end of the hallway rubbing her eyes holding her blanket. I told her that the lady at the door was a salesman and she was not very good so I wasn’t going to buy anything. After about twenty minutes I was able to get her into bed and back to sleep.

  Thirty

  When Wes made it home I told him about my mother and her surprise visit. He was less than happy but he had already heard enough stories about her to know she was more than your typical high society rich bitch who thought she was above everyone when in fact she had so many hidden skeletons she could have here own graveyard.

  He felt he needed to pamper me because I was treated badly and made me promise I would not answer the door again if she showed up.

  My cravings were so strange and when I started mixing some abnormal items Wes was having a hard time stomaching my combinations but being the amazing trooper he was he never tried to convince me that my dill pickle and peanut butter mixture was just wrong.

  It was two days before my sixth month mark and I noticed I was having an extreme increase in my sex drive even though I normally would not initiate anything I just felt disgusting. My belly was getting fuller and I felt like a whale. I tried to hide myself from Wes when it came to my naked body. He was always telling me I was sexy no matter what and I was desirable but that is his job right to support me.

  I woke up at about three in the morning on a Saturday from a pretty intense sexual dream. I was so worked up due to the fact that in the dream I was so close to an orgasm or at least it felt that way and then I woke up to find I was completely tense. I wanted to scream I mean damn it why did I wake up I felt so frustrated. I needed release and I knew it. I turned my head toward Wes to see him still sleeping. I traced my fingertip across his lips onto his cheek and down his neck. He stirred just slightly so I continued down his chest until I reached the hem of his boxers. I paused for just a moment before I slipped my hand into the front and down until I reached my exact destination.

  When I gripped him and lightly began to stroke he smiled, “Mm baby does this mean I am about to get lucky…because I sure as hell can go for some of you.” He began rubbing my leg and then tracing up higher until his fingers lingered along my panties. A finger slid into the side to trace my folds. Satisfied moans escaped me. “Damn baby you are so wet…were you dreaming about me? You feel so ready that’s so sexy baby.” I told him I had a dream about him and I woke up right before I was finished. He grinned and kissed me, “Let me see what I can do about that…you need to cum baby and so do I. Let me make you feel better.” He scooted in behind me and lowered his boxers to slowly enter me from behind. We moaned together as the rhythm picked up and he slid in and out of me so smoothly. It did not take long for me to begin to build I was already so worked up and I started pushing back to meet his thrusts, “Oh Yeah! Wes I am so close…oh yes!” He moaned loudly as I tensed around him. He kept moving and rotating his hips in the perfect motion. He was rubbing my breast and squeezing my hip as he started moving a little faster. “You have such an amazing pussy baby, I need you more...I love being inside you…so fucking hot. Damn baby you going to cum again? I’m getting closer but I want to feel you once more…Cum for me again Sam.” I was still so unbelievably horny. I knew at this moment my sexual drive was in high gear. Once he reached around and began rubbing my clit in small circles it was all I needed to push me over the edge again. He gripped me hips and began pumping into me harder and when I exploded so did he. My toes curled as I screamed his name. He was tensed as he slowly slid out of me and pulled me tightly against his chest to hold me.

  “How’s my girl feel now? All better?” He placed a kiss on my bare shoulder. Should I scream DAMN I AM SO GOOD! I was still coming down from the last orgasm and my breathing was just getting back to normal. “That was really…really damn good!” He laughed then he brought his mouth to my ear, “If it
is so good then why don’t we do it more? I could definitely use more of you…I am starving for you baby.” I hated that I felt like I had to hide. I wish I was more comfortable with my body, “Wes, I am sorry I just feel self-conscious you know that…I feel like a whale and I want you to be attracted to me without my big belly getting in the way…sorry.” He propped himself up and turned me toward him. “First of all you are not a whale”, he placed his hand onto my tummy then continued. “I think you are so beautiful Sam, you are carrying my son…that doesn’t make you fat baby. You are giving me a beautiful gift, something no one has. I love you so much you have always and will always be adored. As for being attracted to you…oh honey you really have no clue do you. I wake up horny for you and spend my entire day wanting you. Don’t feel like I couldn’t want you…I always want you.”