Always You

by Denise Grover Swank

  Matt had considered it more times than he could count. He’d told himself not to get too attached for when that very thing happened, but it was impossible. Ethan needed him to be there for him, and that meant opening his heart even if he risked getting it broken. “I’ll deal with it when the time comes.”

  “I just hate to see you get hurt any more than you already have.”

  Tyler’s younger brother had walked up toward the end of the conversation and listened as he drank from his water bottle. “It’s a lot like me and Tyler.”

  Tyler’s head jerked up in surprise. “How so?”

  “We started hanging out, then Lanie was moving to Atlanta, and I told you to go even though you didn’t want to leave me.”

  “It’s not the same,” Tyler said quietly.

  “But it kind of is. I got really used to you being there for me. I felt like you were leaving me behind.”

  Tyler stood and moved in front of his brother. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth? You gave me your blessing to go.”

  Eric looked his brother in the eye. “Because Lanie’s awesome and you need her. I loved you enough to let you go.” He turned to Matt. “And you’ll love Ethan enough to let him go, too.”

  All three men were silent for several seconds before Kevin blew out a breath. “Well, damn. He’s right.”

  Tyler gave Matt a sad smile. “I told you the kid gave good advice.”

  “No shit,” Kevin muttered then took another drink.

  The men were silent again before Tyler said, “But none of that changes the fact that you have to deal with Anna. So you keep her kid on your team, but that doesn’t mean you have to fraternize with her. Tell her you’ve changed your mind, and you don’t want to meet her.”

  That was the smart thing to do, Matt knew it, and while he also knew he should listen to his friends’ advice, he decided to go with his gut on this one. “No. I want to hear what she has to say. The boys won’t be there, and it’ll be in public. If it gets too weird, I’ll just leave and be done with it. Besides, Toby says they’re going back to England when his grandfather is better. It’s not like there could be anything between us anyway.”

  “If you’re going to do this,” Kevin said with a frown, “don’t let her take your heart again when she leaves.”

  It was too late for that. She’d taken it twelve years ago, and he’d never gotten it back.

  Chapter Eleven

  Late Sunday afternoon, Anna stood on the sidelines of the makeshift soccer field in the grassy area next to the church, amazed at the progress her son had made in only a few practices. While she was shocked that he wasn’t the worst player on the field, it was the fact that he was having so much fun that got to her. His face beamed with happiness as he listened with rapt attention to Matt’s instructions.

  “Looks like someone’s got a bit of hero worship,” a woman said next to her.

  Anna’s back stiffened, prepared to deal with some soccer mom’s hostility, but she was greeted with Phyllis’s smiling face. “Yeah.”

  “I hear Matt’s been working with him.”

  What did Phyllis know? Anna wasn’t sure how to answer. Some of the other mothers were a little territorial when it came to Coach Matt, especially the ones whose kids had been on his team the previous season—territorial and cliquey. But Phyllis seemed above all the nonsense so Anna decided to confide in her. “Ethan is best friends with Toby. They had a playdate on Saturday.”

  Phyllis leaned closer and lowered her voice. “Ethan told me, but don’t be spreading that around. Lisa over there would flip her shit.” They both glanced over at the ponytailed woman who was intently watching what was happening on the field. “On second thought,” Phyllis teased. “Maybe we should.”

  “No way,” Anna said, tugging her sweater closed tighter and bracing herself from a sudden cool gust. “I’m trying to fly under the radar.”

  Phyllis laughed. “Honey, it’s too late for that.”

  Anna wasn’t happy to hear that piece of information, although she wasn’t surprised. She knew she’d made an entrance at the first practice, but she’d hoped things would die down.

  “So…” Phyllis said. “I don’t see a ring on your finger. Are you divorced or are you one of those liberated women who have a baby on their own?”

  Anna usually hated sharing personal information with people she hardly knew, but she was beginning to like Phyllis. “If only I’d done it on my own—it would have been a lot easier.”

  “Messy divorce?”

  “Just complicated,” she said in a tone that suggested she didn’t want to talk about it.

  “Okay,” Phyllis said, nodding her head. “You don’t want to give details. I can appreciate that. Were you divorced recently?”

  Anna shot her a mock glare then grinned. “When Toby was a baby.”

  “Any significant others in your life?”

  Anna laughed. “Why does it feel like you’re signing me up for a dating site?”

  “No worries there,” Phyllis said with a grin. “Besides, you don’t need a dating site.”

  Anna twisted around to face her. Something about Phyllis’s tone of voice sent off alarm bells. “Why not?”

  “It’s so obvious there’s a man right here at this practice who’s interested in you.”

  Anna shot a glance back to the father who had been at Tuesday night’s practice. “Um…I’m not looking for a man right now.”

  “Honey,” Phyllis said, waving her hand. “That’s what they all say.”

  Phyllis fell silent, but a few minutes later Matt looked over at the parents. “I need a volunteer to help me with a drill.”

  Several mothers lifted their hands, saying, “Me! I’ll help!”

  But Phyllis gave Anna a shove, making her stumble forward. “Anna should help. Isn’t the UK the land of soccer?”

  Anna gave Matt an apologetic look. “I don’t have to—”

  “Hurray!” Toby shouted. “Mummy’s going to help!”

  Ethan shared his friend’s enthusiasm. “Yay!”

  Both boys ran toward her and simultaneously held her hands as they dragged her onto the field until she stood in the middle of the group of kids.

  Matt looked less than thrilled, but being Matt, he rolled with it. He grabbed a laundry basket full of pool noodles and said with a grin, “I bet you guys have been wondering what these are for. Do you think we’re going swimming?”

  The kids laughed and shouted, “No!”

  Remy, the kid who’d given one of the mothers a bloody nose, started to rip off his shirt.

  “Remy!” his mother shouted. “What are you doing?”

  He gave her an exasperated look. “Coach Matt said we were swimming.”

  “And where do you plan to swim?” she asked, shaking her head.

  He glanced around before understanding dawned. “Oh.”

  “Keep your shirt on,” Matt said with a laugh. “You’re about to fly a spaceship.”

  “Cool!” the boy said with wide eyes.

  “I want to fly a spaceship!” several of the other children protested.

  Matt held up his hands. “Everyone who wants to fly a spaceship gets to. That’s why Toby’s mom, Mrs.…Robins,” he said, sounding like he choked on the name, “is going to help me. We’re aliens and we’re going to be kicking space rocks.”

  “Real space rocks?” Toby asked in a whisper as he looked up at Anna.

  She smiled down at him. He’d been obsessed with the stars as long as she could remember. “No. I’m pretty sure they’re pretend.”

  Disappointment filled his eyes. “Oh.”

  “Mrs. Robins is right,” Matt said. “They’re pretend.”

  “Uncle Matt!” Ethan shouted, waving his hand wildly. “Her name’s Miss Anna. She’s not a dragon.”

  Matt looked like he considered that debatable.

  “Ethan is right,” Anna said as she smiled at the kids. “I’m Miss Anna.” Then since Matt didn’t look like he apprec
iated the side bar, she said, “I’m excited to hear about your spaceships.”

  Matt ignored her and said, “Everyone gets a noodle and that’s your spaceship. You’re going to hold it out in front of you.” He pulled out a noodle and demonstrated. “Anna…and I are aliens with space rocks that we’re going to be kicking at you. If we hit you, your spaceship gets damaged and you crash to the ground.” He turned to his nephew. “Ethan, kick a ball at me.”

  Ethan shook his head with a serious expression. “No, Uncle Matt. I’m not an alien. Miss Anna has to do it.”

  Matt looked like his patience was wearing thin. Obviously, he wouldn’t have picked her but he was stuck with her now. She intended to make the most of it. “Ethan, pass me a ball.”

  Wearing a huge grin, Ethan hurried over to a ball on the ground and kicked the ball to her.

  “Good job,” she said, stopping the ball with her foot on top. She glanced up at Matt to see if he was ready.

  “So Miss Anna is going to kick the ball to me,” Matt said. “But I can put up my force field and kick it away and not have any damage.” He shot her a look. “Go ahead and kick it to me.”

  She kicked the ball and he easily deflected back to her. She stopped the ball with her foot again.

  “See?” he said. “I saved my spaceship. Now I’m going to let her hit me with it and you can see what happens then.” He glanced her way again. “See if you can get it higher this time.”

  She kicked the ball with the side of her foot and with more effort than before. The ball flew up and hit Matt in the side.

  He started staggering around, waving his pool noodle wildly. “I’ve been hit.” Then he started making alarm sounds mixed with sputtering as he careened to the right then fell to the ground with a loud crash sound.

  The kids watched him with excitement, and when he sat up, he asked, “Who wants to be a spaceship?”

  They all started yelling at the same time, and Matt got up and handed out pool noodles, but Toby stayed next to Anna’s side and looked up at her with a worried expression. “Mummy, are you a scary alien?”

  “No, baby,” she said with a soft smile, smoothing his bangs away from his forehead. “I’m a nice alien.”

  Matt came over and swooped Toby off the ground and flew him like an airplane toward the laundry basket. “Captain Robins, we need you to man your spaceship.”

  He set Toby down while making noises like he was landing an aircraft then handed him the last noodle. “Do you accept your assignment, Captain?”

  Toby giggled. “Yes, sir.”

  Matt grinned then jogged over to the pile of soccer balls, and dribbled one to the middle of the field for himself since Anna already had one. “Now if your spaceship crashes, you stay on the ground until only one spaceship is left. Everyone spread out, and Anna, why don’t you come into the middle of the field.”

  The kids and Anna did as instructed, and when everyone was in place, Matt asked, “Ready?”

  “Ready!” they called out.

  “Go!” He gave a light kick to a girl next to him and she stopped the ball before kicking it back to him.

  “Kick it to me, Miss Anna!” Ethan shouted from the back of the group, waving his pool noodle around.

  Anna took her cue from Matt, and her first attempt was a gently placed kick to a boy to her side. He easily stopped it and kicked it back.

  For the next five minutes, they played, Matt and Anna getting more aggressive as the game went on until there was only one kid left—Remy, who stopped the ball and kicked it right into Matt’s gut.

  He doubled over and Anna moved closer. “Are you okay?”

  He glanced up at her with big eyes, and she started to freak out, worried he’d really gotten hurt until he mouthed with a thin, raspy voice. “Air knocked out…”

  “That boy’s dangerous,” Anna said, only half teasing as she told the kids they could get up.

  Matt seemed to recover moments later, and the kids jumped up and down, “Can we play again?”

  For the next half hour, they played multiple rounds of the spaceship drill until Anna was sore and out of breath.

  “Okay!” Matt said. “That was a great practice! Put your noodles away, and I’ll see you on Tuesday night!”

  “I had no idea I’d be getting such a workout,” Anna said, leaning over and sucking in lungfuls of air.

  “Thanks for your help,” Matt said as he watched the kids put their noodles into the laundry basket.

  “Cute game,” she said, standing more erect. “Toby definitely got better by the end.”

  “Several of the kids did.”

  “Matt!” the woman with the ponytail called out.

  Probably to reestablish her territory.

  Anna knew the woman didn’t stand a chance with Matt, but she couldn’t stick around and watch other women trying to hit on him either. She needed to get out of there as soon as possible. “Let’s go, Toby.”

  His face scrunched up into a pout. “But I’m helping Ethan put the balls in a bag.”

  Her options were to force him to leave and go home to her father, who had actually been nicer since her talk with him several days before, or she could suck it up and deal with her jealousy while her son was being helpful.

  After the boys picked up everything several minutes later, Anna told Toby it was time to go.

  He clenched his fists at his sides and glared up at her. “No.”

  Her eyes flew open in shock. She could count on one hand the number of times he’d been so obstinately disobedient. “Toby,” she said, moving closer to him and keeping her voice down. “You picked up all the balls and now it’s time to go.”

  “Ethan said I could go with him to Coach Matt’s house.”

  She frowned. “Coach Matt didn’t say anything about it to me, and even if he did—which I sincerely doubt—it’s too late to go for a playdate on a school night.”

  He scrunched up his face. “You’re so mean! You don’t want me to have any friends!”

  Where had this come from? She squatted in front of him, trying to keep her patience. Part of her wanted to just reprimand him and order him to the car, but the mother in her knew that this was so uncharacteristic that something had incited it. “Why are you so upset?”

  Tears flooded his eyes. “I want to play with Ethan.”

  “And you just did during practice and a long time yesterday. Plus you’ll see him tomorrow at school.” She gave him a hopeful smile.

  “Can I have a playdate with Ethan tomorrow at Grandpa’s?”

  She grimaced, already knowing this was not going to end well. “No, baby.”

  His back became rigid. “Why not?”

  “A number of reasons. One, it’s a school night. Two, I don’t think Grandpa would like”—two rough and tumble boys underfoot—“a playdate. He doesn’t like changes to his schedule.”

  A tear slipped down his cheek. “That’s not fair.”

  “I know,” she said, overwhelmed with guilt. “I’m sorry. Maybe we can figure out another option, but right now we have to go. Besides,” she added, “six days isn’t that long.” But she knew six days was an eternity to a five-year-old.

  To her dismay, Toby started to sob.

  “Toby,” she said, taking his hand in hers, but he jerked his hand free. She picked him up and started up the hill to her car, fully aware that half the mothers were in the parking lot watching in horrified fascination. She reminded herself that in less than two months, she’d never see any of them again, but instead of making her feel better, it only made her feel worse. One more drastic change for her sensitive son.

  As soon as she reached the car, which was parked next to Matt’s truck, she opened the car door to get him into the backseat, but he thrashed back and forth, trying to break free. It took her a half minute to get him into his booster and strapped in. She hurried into the driver’s seat and turned the key, trying to stay calm when the car refused to start.

  Don’t panic. Don’t panic.
<
br />   Toby continued his meltdown in the back, only now he was shouting, “You hate me! Why do you hate me?”

  It was all too much. Finding a home to put her father into. Dragging her son across the globe and back. Her confusing feelings about Matt. After she’d watched him with those kids and seen how kind he’d been to Toby…she knew she still loved him.

  What in the hell did she do with that? It only made her feel hopeless.

  And to top it all off, now she had to deal with the stupid car.

  To her irritation, she started to cry.

  A knock on the window made her startle and she jumped in the seat, even more horrified when she saw Matt bent over and peering in the window. She turned to face out the windshield. Maybe if she ignored him, he would go away. A quick glance in the rearview mirror confirmed that the other mothers were standing next to their cars, watching her.

  “Anna,” he said, his voice muffled through the glass. “Open the door.”

  “No. I’m fine.”

  “Anna.”

  She covered her face with her hands. Could she be any more embarrassed? She was used to dealing with cutthroat businessmen and associates and holding her own with an aloofness that had earned her respect, but now she’d been reduced to tears by a raging five-year-old and a fifteen-year-old car.

  The passenger door opened and Matt climbed into the seat next to her. “What happened?”

  Toby started to shout, “I hate you!”

  Matt leaned closer and lowered his voice. “What set him off?”

  Feeling like a fool, Anne swiped at a tear rolling down her cheek. “He wanted to go to your house. I told him you hadn’t invited him, and even if you had, he couldn’t go because it was a school night, but he insisted that Ethan had invited him.”

  Matt frowned. “I suspect Ethan did. He asked before practice, and I’d said no for the very same reasons.”

  “He’s not usually like this,” she said. “I know every mother probably says that, but in Toby’s case, it’s true.”

  “After spending time with him yesterday, I believe you.” He opened the door and got out, and she was sure he’d satisfied his curiosity and was leaving, but to her surprise, he opened the rear door and got into the backseat.