Transcending Regrets (No Regrets book 3)

by Noalane, Aimee

  “Yes, you can,” my mother replied. She threw out the contents of her dust pan in the recycling bin and handed me a wet cloth for my face. “Besides, it’s not like you have much of a choice. Lyvie is pretty much in control right now.”

  “Lyvia, Mom. Her name is Ly-vi-a. Stop shortening her name, it bugs the crap out of me.”

  My eyes averted from my mother to Oliver’s. It was as if for a minute I had completely forgotten that he was with us, but as soon as my stare met his, he glanced at the floor. I had no idea why all of a sudden he was refusing to look at me.

  “Um––” he shut his eyes and rubbed his face, exhaling loudly. “Fuck it, I need some air.”

  “Abby,” my mother scolded once the patio door shut behind him.

  “No.”

  “Abbygail,” she repeated, but with a more severe tone.

  I turned to face her. “Not now.”

  Oliver

  “What are you reading?” I asked Abby.

  Her head was resting on my thigh, or rather my groin, while I was leaning on the trunk of the oak tree in the town park. My biggest issue was that I had a very nice view of her cleavage and it was driving me nuts. It was merely impossible not to have a physical reaction, but somehow I had managed not to. I was so happy that I had thought about bringing my sunglasses with me that afternoon, but as her eyes peered up to mine, I could tell that I got caught.

  “A romance novel.”

  “What’s it about?”

  “A guy and a girl in love,” she replied, as if the answer was more than obvious.

  “Does it have sex in it?”

  She lifted her sunglasses from off her face and raised her left eyebrow at me. “Are you really interested in what I’m reading, or are you just bored because there are no more hot chicks for you to watch running around the park while you listen to your lame music?”

  “My music isn’t lame.”

  “Debatable.”

  “It isn’t as lame as your sappy books about sex.”

  She sat up and looked at me. As much as I was relieved to finally have her off my crotch, I also had to admit that I missed the warmth of her body against mine. “My books aren’t about sex. They’re about love and happily ever-afters.”

  “And sex.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  “I thought you didn’t believe in Happy Ever After.” I pointed out.

  “Just because I don’t believe in them, doesn’t mean that I don’t want to read about them.”

  “Why? What’s the point?”

  “Just because, Oliver.”

  “Fine,” I huffed. It was better if I dropped the subject anyway because one way or another we would end up arguing. I truly didn’t feel like explaining to her why I didn’t believe in her theory that all love stories ended in a tragedy, again. We’d had that conversation often enough. “So tell me then, what would be your ideal romance story?”

  “I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I guess I never really put much thought into it.” She bit her bottom lip and smirked. “I guess if I had to choose it would be rekindling a long lost love with my best friend’s brother.”

  “I don’t have a brother.”

  “No, but Kylie does. In fact she has two older brothers.”

  “Chad and Cory are too old for you,” I declared.

  “Says you! Besides, Cory is just a year older than we are, plus he’s cute…I could totally see us dating.”

  I grimaced.

  “Wouldn’t it be an amazing story if before he went to college, we hooked up and had a wonderful night of love making––”

  “Shut up.”

  “But I’m not done,” she mocked. “And––”

  “Abby, seriously stop. You’re not dating Cory, and you’re sure as hell not sleeping with him.”

  “But I loooove him,” she wined dramatically. “Plus, it’s my story––”

  In hopes of stopping Abby from telling me her hypothetical stupid love story with Kylie’s brother, I put my hand over her mouth and smothered her next words.

  Somehow, she managed to remove my hand from over her mouth and continued to mock me. “So, not only have I slept with him, but I end up pregnant. But do you know what the best part is?”

  “No. And stop talking.” I pulled her head back down on my lap and she exploded into laughter.

  “But you just asked me what my ideal romance story was,” she replied, fighting with me as I continued to try and silence her.

  “Yeah, well, I changed my mind. It was a stupid question and I don’t want to know.” I felt her smile in the palm of my hand. “If I take my hand off, will you promise not to continue your lame story?”

  She nodded and grabbed one of my earphones. We were back to her lying on my crotch and me looking down her cleavage.

  Silence and a perfect view. What more could I ask for?

  “Cory’s my three year old son’s father, and when he comes back he tells me that I was the love of his life and never stopped loving me. The end.”

  I stuck my tongue out at her and she laughed. The only reason why I hadn’t said anything more was because she took my hand in hers and pulled it over her heart.

  “Did you like my story?” she asked to my silence.

  “No. And I forbid you to see Cory ever again.”

  “Fine. And I forbid you from looking at my boobs like you’ve been doing for the past forty-five minutes.”

  “I haven’t been staring at your boobs.”

  “Really? Then tell me, what color is my bra, Oliver?”

  “Black––”

  Her sparkling blue eyes met mine, and her face cracked a proud smirk.

  “I mean shut up!”

  ***

  “Who’s the father?” I asked Aunt Jenna about a minute after hearing the patio door shut. I would have hoped to see Abby standing on the balcony observing me, but I knew better.

  “That’s a conversation you’re going to need to have with her,” she replied. “What are you looking at?”

  Something green a few feet away from the tree trunk had captured my attention after I’d taken a seat on the wooden swing. It took me a while before I decided to get up and see what it was, but once I did, I couldn’t take my eyes off of it.

  “A sapling tree,” I replied, without looking at her.

  “From the willow tree?”

  I touched the leaves and smiled. Abby and I had tried so hard to get a new willow tree to grow when we were younger, and not once had we even manage to get a sprout.

  “Yeah.” I smiled. “Has Abby seen this?”

  Jenna shook her head. “Abby hasn’t been in the backyard in months, and I doubt she noticed it before.”

  It made me sad to know that Abby had been avoiding the willow tree, especially since I knew how important it was to her. “Is she going to be okay?”

  “Yes, Oliver, she and the baby will be fine. Abbygail just needs to figure out what’s best for her.” I frowned at her cryptic answer, but she interrupted my next question with hers. “Are you staying for dinner?”

  “Is that an invitation?”

  She crossed her arms and raised her brow at me in the way she did when she was about to reprimand me when we were younger. Aunt Jen had a scary look in her eye when she was angry with me. “Don’t be a smart ass, Oliver.”

  I sighed and stood from my spot. “Yes, Aunt Jenna, I’m staying for dinner.”

  “Good, then I need to go to the market. Abby is lying down in her old bedroom. Do you think you’ll be okay to stay here and keep an eye on her?”

  “I could just go to the market for you. What do you need?” The thought of being alone with Abby was a little destabilizing.

  “I’ll see you in an hour,” she replied, stepping back inside the house.

  “Um––Aunt Jen?”

  She stopped before shutting the door and when she looked at me, it was as if she knew exactly what I wanted to ask her. “Nope. Forget about it Oliver. I’m not getting mixed up in
to your issues with her anymore. You two are a freaking headache to deal with, and you need to figure this out on your own.”

  “But––”

  “You lied to me,” she reproached.

  “I lied to you?” I fired back. “Aunt Jenna, you and my Uncle Jerry tricked me into thinking I’d sold my house, and the only reason for your lying was that you didn’t trust me to make my own life decision.”

  “It wasn’t that we didn’t trust you, Oliver. We just wanted to make sure that you made the right decision for your future.”

  “I am twenty-three-years-old. I can make my own decisions.”

  “Selling a house should never be an impulsive decision,” Aunt Jenna admonished.

  “Wanting to come back to my home, to my friends and family wasn’t impulsive. It’s what was supposed to be. It’s what I’ve craved for years. I was coming back because I wanted to be with her. If you wanted to know my motives about selling the house, you should have just asked me six months ago. Not play games and conspire against me.”

  “Then why wait months to come back? Months, Oliver. Do you know how many things can happen in a few months? You should have called.”

  I looked at the ground trying to control the rage building inside me. I knew all too well what could happen in couple of months. I had to witness it that exact same day, and it was far from what I had ever expected it to be. But clearly my aunt had no idea that it was her daughter that had walked out on me. She had no clue that Abby had asked me to let her go.

  “My decision for not telling you I was back was solely based on your lies. If it makes you feel any better, I planned on coming home the minute I left her house back in November. Just because I don’t talk to you about my life plans, doesn’t mean I’m acting irresponsibly. Everything got delayed because I needed a job, especially since I couldn’t have the girl I was coming back home to anymore.”

  “Oliver––” Jenna countered. She looked up at the sky and then back down into my eyes. “Man up and talk to my daughter.”

  She shut the door behind her, without giving me a chance to reply.

  Chapter 11

  Abbygail

  “Abby?” my mother said, opening the door to my room.

  Oliver’s stilled frame was on the floor beside my bed, and I couldn’t keep my eyes away from him. I had no idea how long he’d been sitting there, but I’d been watching him sleep for at least ten minutes before my mother interrupted my peace.

  “Abby, sweetheart.”

  “Yeah, Mom,” I whispered without looking away from him. All I wanted was to reach out and smooth his frown as he slept, but instead I just let my hand hover over his, lightly touching it. I didn’t want to wake him up.

  “Jacob just got home, and dinner is almost ready.”

  She looked at Oliver sleeping on the floor and then at me shaking her head. If she was trying to be discreet about her disapproval, she wasn’t doing a very good job. I knew exactly what was going through her mind, but my mother needed to give me some time to figure out how I was going to finally tell him everything that had happened since coming back from B.C.

  “Are you going to join us?”

  “Yeah, just give us a few minutes and we’ll be there.”

  After shutting the door behind her, I looked back down and Oliver’s dark tired eyes were staring at me. “Hey,” he whispered.

  “Hey back.”

  He glanced at my fingers that were still lightly brushing against the palm of his hand, and caressed mine back with a sad smile. The fear of having to tell him the truth about my pregnancy was eating me up from inside. Tyler and Stephan were right, Oliver was going to hate me once my secret was out.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “Better, thank you. What are you doing here?”

  “Watching you sleep.”

  “Funny. I thought it was the other way around,” I teased.

  “Yeah…” he smirked. “I guess I must have fallen asleep at some point.”

  Our eyes met and we stared at each other for a while. I wanted to be angry with Oliver, but I couldn’t find it in me. Even after all the pain we kept causing each other, all I could think about was how much I missed him. Oliver was and always would mean everything to me.

  “Abby––”

  “So…a month huh?” I asked. He let go of my hand and pulled back. It was like he knew that this was going to turn into another argument. “Why didn’t you call?”

  “And say what?”

  “I don’t know, Ol,” I replied calmly. I sat up in order to have a better look at him. “I mean we aren’t talking about just a few days, we’re talking weeks. You have a job? This must have been planned at some point, somehow, right? Where do you live? Where do you work? You’ve been back home for weeks, Oliver. Was there even a moment where you thought to yourself that maybe we would want to know where you are?”

  And by we, I mostly mean me...

  He shrugged.

  “Don’t you have anything to say?”

  “No.”

  “Really?”

  “No, not really. But what is it that you want from me, Abs?”

  “Answers. How could you be back for a month and not call anyone of us? It’s a fucking selfish thing to do, you know that right?”

  “Yes, yes, Ottawa, Ottawa’s Child Protection’s Bureau and I don’t know.”

  I creased my forehead and shook my head at the most stupidest answer ever. “You know what? Never mind. Just get out.”

  “Do you need any help getting up?”

  “No. Just––” I whispered. “Go away.”

  He stood up from off the floor and went to the door. His head hung low in defeat and before opening it, he stopped and put his hand on the handle. “If you knew that my feelings for you hadn’t changed…if you knew that what happened with Sam was a mistake…why did you leave?”

  He was refusing to look at me as he talked, but turned around to my silence. I had no idea how to answer. I truly didn’t know how to explain what I was feeling back then, nor was I able to explain how it felt to have him back. I stared at my hands, as they nervously played with my blanket. The words burned the tip of my tongue. If he only knew how I regretted walking out on him that morning. I missed him every minute of every day.

  “Abby,” he demanded.

  “I––I don’t know, Oliver. Maybe I left for the same reason you left when you saw me kissing Tyler at the hospital.”

  “But that wasn’t the same.”

  “How is it not the same?”

  “Because I believed you were back with Tyler. Sam was a stupid mistake, Abs. You knew that––I begged you not to go.”

  “You still let me walk away.”

  “Because you asked me to,” he fired back. “What was it that you wanted me to do?”

  I teared up. “I wanted you to show me that you weren’t going to give up.”

  He opened his mouth but then shut it almost immediately. After looking at me with a painful frown he quietly left the room.

  Oliver

  “Feeling better?” Jenna asked Abby who finally decided to join us at the dinner table.

  I was sitting at the exact same spot I used to sit when we were younger, and noticed a brief smile appear on her face when she saw me.

  “Yes, Mom.” She inhaled looking at the rice bowl sitting on the table, and grinned. “It smells delicious. Did you make Peri-Peri Chicken?”

  “Yes. I figured that I’d have a better chance of getting you to eat if I made your favorite.”

  “Abbygail,” Jacob exclaimed walking back inside the house with a plate of grilled meat.

  “Hi, Jacob. How was your day at work?”

  “It was great. How was yours?” He seemed genuinely pleased that she was taking interest in his day.

  She took a piece of the sizzling chicken from off the plate Jacob had just set down on the table, and then glanced at me. Her eyes were filled with so many questions. It was like she had a million th
ings she wanted to say but didn’t know where to start. “Eventful.”

  I smirked at her answer and went back to my own food.

  “What?” she asked me.

  “Nothing.”

  “That smirk doesn’t look like nothing, Oliver. Do you have anything you would like to say?”

  “Nope!”

  “God you’re annoying,” she huffed. I just smiled back. Getting her irritated with me was appeasing my anger towards her.

  “Okay,” Jenna coughed out. I wasn’t sure if she was laughing or just exasperated by our behavior. She looked at her daughter. “Did you manage to get any sleep?”

  “A little. Someone’s snoring woke me up, though,” she teased.

  I spit out the soda from my mouth. “I do not snore.”

  Abby cocked an eyebrow.

  “Okay, so maybe a little.” I admitted.

  Jenna took a sip of her glass of wine and smiled. “Well I’m glad to know that you managed to rest a little. That contraction was something else.”

  “Um hmm,” Abby replied with a mouthful.

  “You know,” she continued, “sometimes contractions are due to high levels of anxiety. Maybe if you released some of those stress factors you––”

  “Mom.” Abby frowned.

  “What?”

  She glared at her. “Stop it.”

  I raised my eyebrow curiously at them, wondering if maybe I was the one causing her body to react the way it had.

  “Fine. So tell me, how did your doctor’s appointment go?”

  “It went well.”

  “What did Camelia say?”

  “Nothing special,” she replied, playing with the broccoli in her plate.

  “Has the bleeding stopped?”

  “Eww, Mom. Seriously?”

  “It’s just a question, Abby.”

  “And it’s an awkward one. We’re eating, could we please not talk about my bodily fluids while we’re sitting at the dinner table? It’s disgusting.”

  “Fine. But what did she say?”

  “The same crap she always does. I need to stay off my feet, relax, yada yada yada. I’m not eating this.”

  “What are you? Twelve?” I teased. “Eat your broccoli, it’s good for the baby.”