Feel Like Makin' Love (Rock and Roll Trilogy #3)

by Stewart, Barbara

  He pulled something from his briefcase and held it in his hand fiddling with it. He watched Carlee and couldn’t have been happier – this was a good night!

  At last, Matthew placed the paper on the table. “It’s the actual print ad! It will debut on the inside cover of March’s issue of Allure!”

  “It’s gorgeous!” Carlee said.

  “Stunning,” Geni added.

  Matthew also had small sample bottles for them to smell. Carlee passed for now; she was more sensitive to smells as a side effect from the radiation.

  Geni opened the cap and inhaled the fragrance. “Wow, Carlee, it’s lovely. I smell vanilla and lemon I think.”

  They talked with excitement over Matthew’s newest success until finally he saw Carlee looking tired. She had another treatment in the morning, and he decided they should call it a night.

  “Do you need help?” Andy asked when Carlee rose from the sofa.

  “I feel good, just tired,” Carlee replied.

  Matthew grabbed his briefcase and Carlee’s bag to leave. Carlee bundled up, and as Geni hugged her, she put a bouquet of daisies in her hand. “Thank you for taking care of me today,” she smiled.

  Andy wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear, “I love you, sweet girl.”

  “I love you, right back.”

  ~ ~ ~

  It was a long day and she was tired. “Can we shower in the morning? I don’t think I have that much energy tonight.”

  “Whatever you need,” he said as she slipped her pajamas on and slid into the bed. Once she was in and settled, Matthew climbed on the bed, straddling her. He eased down, like a push up, his hands on both sides of her tiny frame; she’d lost a lot of weight. He placed a kiss on her lips and said, “Now why didn’t I think of this before?” He pushed up and then eased back down for another kiss.

  She laughed and pulled him back for one more. “I feel so much better than I did this morning. Matthew, I am so proud of you, excited for us.”

  “Right now, I’m just happy you feel better.” Still hovering above her he said, “Mom was wrong.”

  “About what?” she asked looking into those smoky eyes that she loved.

  “About what she smelled in that perfume. The description of the perfume that they shared says something like, ‘it has ‘top notes of lemon grass and vanilla – giving a light first smell, followed by patchouli and pepper, with a hint of orange. It’s a fresh breeze at first that pulls you into a seductive moment.’ All I smelled was sex in a bottle, and I can’t wait ‘til you are able to have a little spray here…” he lowered himself and kissed behind her ear. “And another spray here,” he said making his way to her chest at the top button on the pajamas,” and she giggled. Rolling to lie beside her, he took her hand and kissed her wrist, “and here,” he said.

  “Sometimes I spray perfume here,” she said placing his hand on her belly, so he lifted the pajama top and kissed there too.

  “I know you’re tired, but I want you to know that when you are ready, when you feel up to it, any time of day, I want to make love to you. Tonight, I just want to hold you in my arms,” he said.

  She curled into him, her head on his chest, and they slept.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The next morning Carlee was up and waiting when Andy knocked on the door.

  “My turn,” he said kissing her cheek. Matthew came from the other room and hugged Andy.

  “Off to work, man!” Carlee laughed.

  “Off to get zapped!” he replied. He’d awakened her early to get a shower, and she’d been frisky all morning – the Carlee I love, he thought.

  Andy watched them and smiled; she was in good spirits.

  ~ ~ ~

  When they arrived, Kyliejo was already there waiting. She didn’t appear to be having a good go of it that morning; lying with her head in Johanna’s lap, she looked pale, with dark circles under her eyes. Andy had a seat and watched as Carlee went to the little girl and spoke to her.

  She crouched down so that she was eye-level with her and rubbed her hand tenderly over the little girl’s head. “How are you this morning?”

  “My tummy is kinda rumbly,” she replied.

  “Her back is hurting, really badly,” Johanna added.

  “Yesterday was my bad day. We’ll get through this. You need to tell Dr. Isaacs you don’t feel well. Don’t keep it to yourself; she doesn’t want you to be sick, OK?” She looked up, and Johanna mouthed the words ‘thank you.’

  Seth appeared, and Carlee kissed the top of Kyliejo’s baldhead. “I’ll see you later.”

  Andy watched and prayed. He saw how she was with Kyliejo and prayed that her treatment didn’t keep her from having children of her own. She will be a great mom, he thought.

  After Carlee went back for her treatment, Andy was thinking about the concert, suddenly feeling anxious about the event. The guys would be ‘across the pond’ to gather for a rehearsal soon, and he found himself feeling excited. The idea of being on stage gave him an unexpected thrill. He’d missed it and didn’t realize how much until this came up. He hoped that both Carlee and Kyliejo felt well enough to attend the event when the day finally came. But he really hoped that Carlee would feel like coming to rehearsal and seeing the guys. Marco, Roddy, and Vince were coming too, and he knew she would be excited for all of them to be together.

  His phone rang, and he stepped outside.

  “Hey love,” he said when he answered.

  “I gotta go home,” she said and he noticed she was crying.

  “What is it Geni?” he asked.

  “Maybe nothing, but Mimi G has been requested. Megs fell; she broke her arm, and Angela said she was asking for me. I don’t want to leave you, but I need to go be Mimi for a few days.”

  “Don’t do anything ‘til I get home, OK?” he said.

  “I’ll be here waiting.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Carlee was out quickly, and they were on their way. “You’re quiet, is something wrong?”

  “Geni needs to go home.”

  “Why, Papa, why? What’s going on?” Carlee asked, alarmed.

  “Megs broke her arm and is asking for her. I know she needs to go; she’s been away for weeks and they need her too, but I can’t imagine her not being here with us.”

  “Papa, go with her,” Carlee said in a soft voice.

  “No, I need…”

  “To be with Geni. Papa, we’ll work it out. You need to be with Geni,” Carlee interrupted.

  “Carlee…

  “Papa, you need to go. Take my love to Nanny and Pops, and Kimmy and Jenna, and oh, just everyone. You are my link to them; please, just go! You can be back in a day if something happens. Please…” she said with tears in her eyes.

  ~ ~ ~

  They rode the rest of the way in silence. Carlee’s thoughts first went to Megs and Percy missing Mimi G, and then to herself. If Andy went she would miss him, but she didn’t want to be selfish; he needed to go. They entered the flat, and Geni had a suitcase, packing.

  “Papa, get your bag. Geni, he needs to go with you. Matthew and I can figure this out. Please. Someone needs some kind of normal around here!” She shouted the words.

  Andy wrapped her in his arms and whispered in her ear, “I don’t think I can leave you.”

  “Papa, it’s your time; you and Geni, you need to go with her. Please don’t argue with me; I don’t have that much energy. Geni, talk to him; convince him. Papa, will you please take me home? Matthew is early today; I’ll lie in the bed and promise not to get up. I love you both, and I need you to do what’s best for you.”

  “Geni, I’ll be back in an hour,” Andy said.

  ~ ~ ~

  Carlee went straight to the bed as soon as they entered the flat. “Matthew will be here by noon. Go pack.” She curled into the pillow, and Andy’s heart was breaking.

  “Carlee, I don’t want to leave you…”

  “Papa, go. Things will be OK here. You need to be there for Geni.
”

  He lay beside her on the bed. She was on her stomach, and he was rubbing her back, much as he’d done when she was small, and they both fell asleep.

  Matthew entered the flat and found them just that way. He went to the other room and called Geni.

  “Mom, what’s going on?” he asked.

  She explained, and Matthew understood. He went in the room and kissed Carlee’s cheek. “Hey,” he whispered.

  She opened her eyes and turned to find Andy lying there. “Papa,” she whispered. Her movement roused him, “You need to wake up. Go pack.”

  “Go, we’re good, we’ll be down in a few minutes,” Matthew said.

  ~ ~ ~

  After Andy was gone, Matthew crawled on the bed beside her. “You OK?”

  “Yes,” she said and started crying. “I just want this all to go away, be done – behind us – so that we can all move forward, get back to normal,” she blubbered. “Whatever the hell normal is!”

  “It will sweetheart; it’s getting closer,” he smiled. “Are you crying because he might go, or because you wish you could?”

  “Both.”

  ~ ~ ~

  The next morning Andy and Geni went to Carlee and Matthew’s flat. He wanted to spend as much time with Carlee before they left as he could.

  “I’ll call you every evening,” he said rubbing her bald head through the cotton beanie that she wore to keep warm.

  She smiled in reply. “I’ll miss you, but you need to do this for Geni. I’ll be fine. I need you to go to give love to everyone at home. I miss them so much,” she said and tears rolled down her cheeks.

  “I know you do; I know it’s really hard to be away from Nanny and Pops.”

  “Thank you again for setting them up with the video chat. I know they love it too. Nanny cries every time we hang up. Pops just swoops in, tells me he loves me and disappears. I know he’s crying but doesn’t want me to see him.”

  Andy thought about him when Beth was sick and knew she was right.

  “That video chat, the ability to see everyone is such a gift,” she said.

  Andy had a driver picking them up for the trip to the airport, and Geni had to practically drag him out the door when the car arrived.

  “I love you, sweet girl,” he called back over his shoulder as they left.

  “I love you right back, Papa.”

  ~ ~ ~

  When they arrived at her home, Geni immediately took her things to the guest room, and Andy felt relieved. Ghosts of memories from their pasts he could deal with, but he knew he couldn’t sleep in the bed she shared with Tom.

  The break in Meg’s arm was bad enough that it required surgery, and Andy made a fuss over her cast when the ordeal was over, and she loved the attention. Their time for the first few days was spent with Geni’s family.

  ~ ~ ~

  Carlee had just finished her fourth week of treatment, and Matthew was able to work out a schedule to drop her off on his way. Their friend, Deb, worked with Matthew in order to help out, and Dan Patrick was able to cover classes on the days when Deb wasn’t available so that Matthew could bring her home.

  “That’s what friends do for each other,” Deb said when Carlee apologized for being a ‘burden.’

  “I’m just about ready for this to all be over,” Carlee said.

  “Soon. Patience, dear patient,” Deb said and they both laughed.

  ~ ~ ~

  On Wednesday, Matthew took her to her appointment at the regular time. Going in early she’d been missing Kyliejo.

  “Two more weeks, and we’re done with this!” she said with a happy voice as they got out of the car. She’d had no incidents of sickness and was looking forward to the end. When they entered, she noticed Kyliejo was absent.

  “Is she sick?” Carlee asked as Tamara came out to get her.

  “She’s having a really bad go this morning. She’s done so well with all of this; I think it’s because of you - your positive attitude is contagious.”

  “I put on a good show,” Carlee smiled.

  “Maybe a call to Johanna would help. I think it affects her worse than Kyliejo.”

  ~ ~ ~

  She called Johanna later in the day, and there was no answer. She tried again that evening and found the same, and as she hung up, her phone rang. Carlee saw it was Tamara and knew it couldn’t be good.

  “It’s Kyliejo, isn’t it?” Carlee asked instead of saying hello.

  “She’s at London Royal.”

  “Why?” Carlee asked and started to cry.

  “Johanna called emergency this morning. I just found out; they’ve been there all day.”

  “Thank you, I’m heading there now.”

  “I knew you would.”

  As she hung up, Matthew had his keys in his hand. “You sure you’re up to this?”

  She nodded, and they were on their way. As Matthew drove, she made another call. “Hatchet, it’s me. I need you.”

  “What is it?” she asked, great fear in her voice.

  “It’s not me. Kyliejo Smithson. She’s my little friend from radiation...”

  “The one you told me about, she’s here?”

  “Yes, I don’t know anything other than that,” Carlee told her.

  “I’ll find her and meet you in the lobby.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Ten minutes later Matthew and Carlee entered, and Danni Matchett was waiting.

  “You look like hell,” she whispered in Carlee’s ear as she hugged her.

  “You look beautiful as well,” Carlee replied sarcastically. “Where is she?”

  “201, her mum is waiting for you.”

  Matthew took Carlee’s hand, and they followed the nurse. “I requested to care for her,” she said.

  “Thanks Hatchet.”

  “I think that’s why you called me, right?” she asked, and Carlee nodded.

  They entered the room, and the little girl was asleep. Johanna rose and hugged them.

  “Johanna, this is Danni Matchett; she cared for me when I was here, and I called her when I heard about Kyliejo.”

  “What? No Hatchet from you?” she said and smiled. “I’ll be back; I want to consult with the doctor.”

  “Carlee, I know how the treatment makes you feel,” she paused and added, “I appreciate you being here.”

  Kyliejo stirred, “Hey beautiful,” Carlee said.

  A tired weak voice replied, “Glad you are here.”

  “Where else would I be?” Carlee asked, choking back the lump in her throat. “My rad buddy isn’t feeling so good; I missed you today, so I had to come see you.”

  Danni Matchett returned and Carlee whispered in Kyliejo’s ear, “Her name is Danni Matchett, but I call her Hatchet. She’s gonna take good care of you.”

  Tamara entered the room; she took Johanna outside a moment, and when they returned, Johanna was crying.

  Carlee and Matthew stepped into the hallway to allow them a few minutes. Another doctor came in, and the nurse stepped out in the hall with them.

  “They have some test results back from when she came in through the Emergency Room. The news isn’t so good, I’m afraid. Seems she relapsed. The doctors are talking to her mum, but it sounds to me like they are telling her no more radiation, no surgery, no anything. With what she has, high-risk Ependymoma, they never know how the patient will respond to the treatment. Seems she was doing well, and then not,” Hatchet told them.

  “What does all this mean?” Carlee asked with tears rolling down her cheeks.

  “It means that for now, we don’t know, and you need to go home and rest. You have good reinforcements here,” Tamara said as she came out of the room. “Nothing is going to happen tonight. She needs to rest and so do you. Go. I’ll see you in the morning, and I’ll have an update then. Go.”

  Hatchet nodded and said, “I got this. Go.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Carlee cried the whole way home. Matthew allowed her to express her emotions, because he was hurting too.
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br />   “It’s not fair! I’m so mad! She’s so young, Matthew! She’s been sick since she was four! She hasn’t had a chance to experience anything! It’s just not fair!”

  “I know, Carlee, but it’s in God’s hands. We will do whatever we can to help her and Johanna get through whatever is ahead.”

  When they returned to the flat, Carlee went straight to bed and was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

  ~ ~ ~

  After she was settled, Matthew went to the kitchen. He’d turned the sound on his phone back on, having turned it off when they were in the hospital. It rang almost immediately. He looked at the display and saw it was Andy.

  “I’ve been calling all evening… calling your phone, calling Carlee’s… I was starting to panic that something was wrong!” he all but shouted when Matthew answered.

  “Something is wrong, but it’s not Carlee. It’s Kyliejo…”

  Matthew talked to Andy and his mom for a long time, telling them what they had learned that evening.

  When he finally went to bed he leaned to Carlee to place a kiss on her cheek; she turned and scooted closer. “I love you, Matthew.”

  Trying to think – imagine – the thoughts running through her head, he pulled her closer and held her in his arms, thinking thoughts of his own.

  ~ ~ ~

  The next morning when Carlee woke, Matthew was sitting on the side of the bed watching her.

  “I feel like I was hit by a truck,” she said.

  “I know, me too. I was up talking to Andy and Mom until really late. He’d been trying to call all evening and was worried. I told them about Kyliejo. Come on, we need to get showered.”

  Lovingly, he helped her bathe, and then she sat on the bed waiting while he got her clothes. “You’re lookin’ all casual,” she remarked at his clothes.