Feel Like Makin' Love (Rock and Roll Trilogy #3)

by Stewart, Barbara

  Kyliejo entered as Tamara came around the corner to see what the commotion was. “Oh, my goodness! Look how beautiful you are!” She ran her hands playfully over Carlee’s head and then Kyliejo’s and laughed.

  “Kyliejo came to watch and decided to do hers too. Matthew took pictures and everything,” Carlee laughed turning to hug the little girl. “He’s sending them to our friend Dean Rollins. He’s the President of the Cancer Foundation in the U.S.”

  “What a wonderful idea!” Tamara said. “I’d sure love to see those pictures!”

  “I’ll tell Matthew to print a few,” Carlee said.

  “Ready?” Seth asked.

  “Yep, see you in a bit,” she said and turned to follow Seth through the door.

  Geni took a seat, and Johanna told her she’d be back; she had an errand to run. She opened the tablet and started reading.

  ~ ~ ~

  When Carlee came out after the treatment, she sat on the sofa and saw Geni close the tablet as Johanna entered.

  “They’re running late this morning,” Carlee told Johanna. “I just came out.”

  “How are you feeling?” Geni asked.

  “OK for now, but I think we should head out. Tell Kyliejo I’ll see her tomorrow,” Carlee told her.

  Geni was up to the part of the book where they’d just celebrated Beth’s 30th birthday. She thought about their ups and downs to that point, thinking how different Andy was from that man Andy was now. He needed Carlee as much as she needed him.

  ~ ~ ~

  In the car as they drove, Geni turned to Carlee. “Do you mind talking about the book for a minute?”

  “Not at all,” she replied.

  “I remember Matthew telling me that he read it because he wanted to know more about you and learning about your mama was a way to help him do that. For me, I wanted to know about Andy. As I read, I thought about that lifestyle, always on the road, never at home – I don’t know how they made it through any of that. I couldn’t have. I guess that’s why this flat makes being here easier. I can cook, I can clean, and it’s a normal life. But as I read, I also read about a man I don’t seem to know.”

  “He grew from his pain, and then…” Carlee paused because she didn’t want to cry. “He saved me, Geni. My dad was so hurt over everything in the end, Mama’s illness and then Papa’s return, that I think there wasn’t a place in his heart for me; well maybe a small place. When he died, there was a letter explaining to me that he wore his pain ‘like a shield,’ but all I could think about was, what about me, I hurt too!” she was no longer trying to hold back, the tears were streaming down her cheeks. Geni handed her a tissue from the pocket in the car door.

  “Carlee, if you want to stop, we can. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “No, I think you’re getting to something important, and sometimes we have to struggle through to get there.”

  Geni thought about those words and found them profound, thinking about all the struggles she’s had to endure.

  “I don’t think Andy saved you; I think you saved each other. He is not the same man today that I read about. He is caring and giving,” she paused, “and committed and devoted. I don’t know why things happen as they do; I do believe that there is a master plan somewhere that says ‘this is what will happen in your life’ but we aren’t privy to that information. And I believe that sometimes, as you just said, we have to ‘struggle through to get there,’ wherever ‘there’ is. I feel badly about all those ups and downs in your mama’s life with him, but those struggles brought him into your life. And God bringing you into Matthew’s life gave me gifts too - you and Andy. I want to thank you for him. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I am in love with ‘now.’”

  ~ ~ ~

  Matthew emailed some of the photos of Carlee and Kyliejo to Dean Rollins that morning, and as he was driving home, his phone rang. “Hello there! Calling because you got my email?”

  “I am,” Dean said, but it was an emotional voice that replied. “My entire staff is a blubbering mess over the beautiful images that you shared. I am still in disbelief that she did this.”

  “But isn’t she beautiful?” Matthew asked.

  “That beauty is more than her appearance, Mr. Davis,” he replied.

  “Don’t I know it!?” Matthew laughed. “What did you think of my idea?”

  “We are all in awe that Carlee would share these with us – with the world. We love the idea, and once we have it together on this end, we’ll be in touch. I assume the little girl is the one Andy called me about.”

  “Kyliejo Smithson,” Matthew replied.

  “We are looking forward to meeting her. I’ll be over soon. Matthew, thank you.”

  “It’s our pleasure. It made Carlee happy, and for me that was a big thing; she’s dreading that she won’t be able to attend camp this year,” Matthew said.

  “I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ll tell you what we are thinking when I see you. We’ll talk soon.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Andy had been on the internet all morning, looking up recipes. He found one for macaroni and cheese that sounded good and like something he could master. After she was asleep, Geni ran out to get what he needed, while Andy sat with Carlee. When she returned, Andy made his way to the kitchen and started, determined to make it for Carlee for dinner.

  “No help,” he declared. He worked diligently until he had it all together, ready to put in the oven, and then joined them in the living room. Geni had been reading and put the tablet aside so they could talk. Excitement filled Andy’s voice as he talked about the upcoming concert.

  Matthew arrived home and Carlee was just waking up. “Hello beautiful wife.” She had a light cotton beanie cap on because she was cold, and he pulled it off to kiss her head.

  “Hey handsome,” she said in a sleep-gravely voice.

  “Well, I have some news to share,” he said. “I’m glad you’re both here.”

  “What is it?” Carlee asked. She sat up, anxious to hear what he was going to share.

  “The Cancer Foundation is going to use the pictures!” he told them, excitedly. He shared the conversation he’d had with Dean Rollins, and everyone was thrilled.

  Carlee inhaled big, “Something smells yummy! What’s for dinner, Papa? I’m starving,” Carlee said.

  Andy rose from the sofa and reached for her hand. “Come with me; it’s a surprise.”

  He noticed how really tiny she looked; she’d lost a lot of weight, so he hoped he’d hit on something that Carlee could, and would, eat. He opened the oven door, and the smell wafted out. “Wow, that smells incredible! What is it?”

  “Gussied-up mac and cheese!” Matthew and Geni entered the kitchen as he said the words, “And I made it – no help from anyone. You told me next time I cooked you wanted mac and cheese, and I found a recipe. I hope you’ll like it,” he said.

  “Well, let’s dive in!” Carlee said, and Andy was happy that she seemed in good spirits. She helped Geni set the table, and they gathered there to eat. Andy pushed the casserole toward her and handed her a spoon. She heaped a spoonful on her plate and passed it to Matthew. Taking the fork, she moved it around for a look: elbow noodles with what appeared to be cheddar cheese, and it looked deliciously creamy. Finally she took a bite. “Wow, Papa! I taste butter and cream… So fattening and yummy!”

  “Gruyere, Fontina, cheddar, and Asiago cheese, butter, heavy cream and some dried mustard, onion powder, and nutmeg. It called for some crunchy bread crumbs and bacon, but I didn’t know how that would feel with your mouth being sore.”

  “It’s perfect, Papa. I love it, and I hope you kept the recipe.”

  She didn’t eat a lot but she seemed to enjoy what she did. He’d made enough for leftovers for another meal. Afterward, Carlee declared the macaroni and cheese ‘the best ever!’

  ~ ~ ~

  Thursday, Carlee was in the middle of the third week of treatment, and Geni was taking her. She let Andy sleep in; leaving him a note, sh
e grabbed her tablet and her purse and went up to get Carlee. Matthew met her at the door.

  “She’s having a rough morning; give her a minute,” he said as he kissed his mom’s cheek. “Thanks for doing this.”

  The last two days had been rough. In the car, curled into a ball in her seat, Carlee told Geni, “I can’t even imagine if I wasn’t taking the medicine. Thank goodness it’s not far.”

  They entered the building, and Geni helped Carlee to the restroom. She was throwing up when Seth came looking for them. He heard them and knocked on the door.

  “Dr. Isaacs is here, hang tight,” he said.

  She knocked on the door, and Geni opened it to let her in. Carlee was on her knees, throwing up; Geni stepped out to allow Tamara room.

  “I’m so sorry, Carlee. You are an unfortunate case with this nausea, and I’m sorry,” she said again. “We’ll double up the dose on the nausea medicine, but I’m going to give you a shot for now.”

  Tamara took them to the back and had Carlee lie on a bed. She gave her the shot and told her, “Rest a bit. I’ll be back.” Geni sat in a chair in the room with her to wait while she rested. She sent Andy a text:

  Gonna be a while, she’s having a bad time, had to have a shot of medicine for nausea. Will call later.

  ~ ~ ~

  Carlee dozed about an hour. When she woke, they took her for the CT scan, and Geni went back to the waiting area. She was finishing the book when Carlee finally came back out.

  “This was a rough morning,” she said and took a seat. “I missed Kyliejo didn’t I?”

  “She said to tell you she loves you and she’ll see you tomorrow,” Geni smiled.

  “I am dreading the car ride.” She looked at Geni and noticed that she had tears in her eyes.

  “I finished the book.”

  Carlee sat quietly a moment and finally said, “My Papa, is a lucky man.”

  ~ ~ ~

  When they turned onto Palmer Road, Carlee felt a wave of nausea coming. The car’s movement was making it worse.

  “Please stop.” As soon as Geni pulled over, Carlee threw the car door open, and Geni got out and came around to her side while she threw up yet again.

  “Take your time; we are in no hurry to go anywhere,” Geni said.

  Finally, they arrived at the flat. Carlee was having a hard time even thinking about getting out of the car, so they sat there a while. Andy looked out and saw them just sitting there. He walked out to see what was going on.

  Geni opened the car door. “She’s just having a really bad time of it this morning,” she said. “She doesn’t know if she can handle the lift.”

  “We’ll take her in here, then.”

  “I’ll send Matthew a message.”

  Andy walked to the other side and helped Carlee out of the car. He lifted her into his arms, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, tucking her head into the curve of his neck. He placed her on the sofa while Geni got a blanket and pillow, and then called Matthew.

  “The meds are on the kitchen counter,” he told her. “I’ll be there as quickly as I can.”

  Geni ran to their flat to get the medications and grabbed the leftover macaroni and cheese from the fridge.

  Andy sat beside Carlee, rubbing her back as he’d done when she was young. “Love you, Papa,” she whispered and a flood of memories rushed like a fast-speed movie. Where had the time gone, and how had it gone by so fast? he wondered.

  ~ ~ ~

  Finally, Andy had to run out to pay the deposits on the rehearsal space he’d located. The guys would be coming in a week. As Carlee slept, Geni prepared their meal for later.

  She sent Matthew a text to let him know Carlee was asleep and received one back from him a moment later:

  Esquire’s office just called – need to run by there real quick.

  She sat down to skim through the book once more, highlighting the pages that she wanted to know more about, or had questions on. Carlee woke around two, and Geni heated up some of the macaroni and cheese for her and joined her on the sofa.

  “Do you want to head up to your place or are you comfortable here?”

  “I’m good right here,” she replied.

  “How are you feeling?” Geni asked.

  “Like I had a good nap and some yummy mac and cheese,” she said with a smile. “Geni, thank you for being here. Thank for everything you’ve given up to do that. I know you are probably missing Megs and Percy like crazy.”

  “Carlee, right now, at this moment in my life, I can’t imagine being anywhere else in the world,” Geni replied.

  Carlee pulled her knees to her chest and sunk a little deeper into the corner of the sofa. Pulling the blanket around her a little tighter she said one word, “Papa.”

  Geni turned to look at her and nodded. “I went to college for a degree in fine arts, but while I was there I found a husband. Tom Davis was a handsome man when he was young.”

  “Like Matthew,” Carlee smiled. “I saw the resemblance right away.”

  Geni grinned, thinking the same thing and continued. “He was an instructor for a semester, teaching us about the film industry. I cared nothing about all of that; I went to school to learn about Renoir, Picasso, Dali, Monet, oh, I could go on and on. Tom was talking about all the behind-the-camera things that take place, and then the production – what they do to turn the clips of film into the full, finished project. But one day, I looked up at something he said and his eyes…”

  “Steel-blue, sometimes gray and smoky,” Carlee smiled. “I’ve seen those eyes before.”

  Geni smiled and continued, “After the lecture was over, I was gathering my things to leave, and he approached me, asked to go for a cup of coffee. By the end of that hour with him, I was smitten. A year later we were married, and eleven months after that Thomas was born. I loved Tom, and when he died I was lonely, but I had you to fill my time, planning a wedding. And after that, Thomas made sure that he and Brian were around often, and the girls made me happy because they kept me busy, and you know they are two busy little girls,” she laughed.

  “I know we talked about Andy and I, but I’d like to talk a little more.” Carlee nodded and Geni went on. “I told you that I finished reading the book.”

  “You did,” Carlee asked, and Geni saw her eyes get misty.

  “Reading the book for me was like reading fiction. I don’t know that Andy Stevens. The story of their ups and downs tore me up inside; it ran me through emotions that physically made me hurt. And then, I realized that the man I know today hurt so badly, for so long, that he was lost. He wasn’t a man who wore his heart on his sleeve; he relieved his pain through his love for you. I know that what he and I share will never be like what he shared with your mama. You only have love like that once in your life – and even if he thought he could feel that deeply again, he would feel as though he were betraying the commitment he finally did make to Beth. I know that a love that deep would make me feel as though I was betraying Tom.” She stopped to look at Carlee and added, “But I love what we are sharing.”

  “Me too,” Carlee leaned to hug her just as her phone rang. “It’s Matthew!”

  “Hey love, on my way home. Can you celebrate? Are you feeling up to it?”

  “Do I need a cocktail dress, or will sweats work?” she laughed.

  “I love you Carlee, I’ll see you in about half an hour.”

  “You aren’t going to tell me?”

  “Nope!”

  “Not even a hint?”

  “Nuh unh.”

  “Devil! You are the devil,” she laughed and then added, “Handsome, but a devil none the less!”

  Geni smiled as she watched Carlee. It seemed she felt much better than she had earlier in the day. She was sure some of that was the residual from the shot she’d gotten that morning and the medications she’d taken along with the nap she’d had. She loved the glee in her voice, the smile on her face, but right now, she just loved that she was feeling good. When she finally hung up, Ge
ni told her. “I am blessed that you are in my life.”

  “And I, because of you. I want to tell you something before Matthew arrives back here for whatever celebration we are about to have. It’s important to me to say this - Papa waited a long time to move on. I’ve read that book many, many times… It’s a link to her, my mama. I saw the man he was from her words, his stories that he shared with me, but I know the man he is.”

  Geni’s phone rang and she saw it was Andy, but before she answered, she told Carlee, “And I love that man.”

  “Hey,” she said.

  “I’m on my way back. How are my girls?” he asked.

  “Both of us are wonderful,” she said and Carlee smiled.

  ~ ~ ~

  Half an hour later, Matthew entered Andy and Geni’s flat with a bottle of sparkling water and two bundles of daisies. One of the bundles was bright colors and one traditional white, and Carlee smiled. Andy entered a moment later with a big bag.

  “Matt called to tell me we were celebrating, so I brought some of the party with me!”

  Carlee saw the business logo on the bag and said in a happy voice, “Six! What’s in the bag? I’m starving!”

  Matthew smiled and said, “My two favorite words! Cook prepared something that he thought your tummy could handle, but still be special - lobster alfredo.”

  “Matthew Davis, are you ever gonna tell me what the heck we are celebrating?”

  “Not yet,” Matthew said with a devious grin. “Soon, but not yet...”

  ~ ~ ~

  They ate the meal, and Matthew was happy to see that she actually ate; she didn’t just move it around with her fork. Finally, Andy invited everyone to gather in the living room. He poured the sparking water in their glasses.

  Matthew was fidgeting, grinning from ear to ear, and finally, with a big laugh, Carlee shouted, “Will you just come on? I can’t stand it any more!”