Under the Boss’s Mistletoe

by Jessica Hart

  Her eyes filled with tears. ‘You can,’ she whispered. ‘You do.’

  They didn’t kiss, not at first. They just held each other, very, very tightly. Cassie’s face was pressed into his throat, and she could smell the leather of his jacket, just as she had done ten years ago. But this time the shock and anger had gone and in their place was a ballooning sense of joy and relief, as if she had finally found her way home.

  Safe-that was what Jake had said he felt. Cassie knew exactly what he meant.

  ‘Tell me you love me, Cassie,’ he murmured against her hair, and she tipped back her head to smile at him, her eyes still shimmering with tears.

  ‘I love you,’ she said. And then they did kiss, a long, intoxicatingly sweet kiss that dissolved the hurt and the uncertainty and left them heady and breathless with happiness.

  ‘I love you,’ said Jake shakily at last. Somehow they had made it to the shelter of the dunes, and sank down onto the soft sand as they kissed and kissed again. ‘I love you, I love you,’ he said again between kisses. ‘I can’t tell you how much.’

  Cassie drew a shivery sigh of sheer contentment and rested her head on his shoulder, her arms wound tightly around him as if she would never let him go. ‘What about the formula?’

  ‘Ah, the formula,’ he said with a wry smile. ‘I clung to that formula like a life raft! It seemed to make sense,’ he tried to explain. ‘It worked, or at least it did until I met you again. You don’t know what you did to me, Cassie. You turned my world upside down. I had constructed such a careful life, and suddenly everything was out of control.

  ‘You made me feel again, and I was torn. I wanted you, but I didn’t want you. You were part of the past I’d been running away from for so long. I thought if I could just hold onto my sensible, practical formula I’d be all right, but I can see now that it was just as much a fantasy as the fairy tale that you believe in.’

  ‘Yes, I’ve learnt that too,’ said Cassie, snuggling closer as they lay in the sand. ‘I held on to the fairy tale, just like you held on to the formula. I suppose I was always such a dreamer that it was natural for me to fantasise about the perfect relationship, the perfect wedding, the perfect everything.’

  She ran her hand over his abdomen. Even through the leather, she could feel the muscled strength of him. ‘I don’t think you’re perfect, though.’

  ‘Oh?’ Jake pretended to sound hurt, and she softened the blow by leaning up on her elbow and smiling down at him as she dropped a kiss on his lips.

  ‘No, you’re not perfect. You’re impatient and practical and oh-so-sensible-or you were until you went out and bought yourself a motorbike just to make a point! When I dreamed of the man I would love, I never imagined someone like you, but it is you. I’ve learnt to love what’s in front of me, not a dream. Now I know that you love me back, well…’ She smiled, kissing him again. ‘I think this just might be the fairy tale after all!’

  She settled back into the curve of his arm with a sigh of happiness. ‘I’ve been so wretched for the last three weeks,’ she told him. ‘Why did it take you so long to come?’

  ‘Because I thought you’d changed your mind after I’d gone,’ said Jake. ‘I thought you’d just been amusing yourself that weekend, and that you didn’t want to get any more involved. I thought you couldn’t even be bothered to tell me yourself. You just sent Natasha instead.’

  Cassie wriggled uncomfortably. ‘I didn’t send her. I thought you would be happy to see her.’

  ‘Happy? Hah!’ Jake snorted. ‘There was one moment that day when I was wildly happy. The door bell rang and I convinced myself that it was you, that you’d told the contractors they could go to hell so that you could come up to London early and be with me.’

  ‘Well, I don’t know why you would think I would do that.’ Cassie pretended to grumble. ‘You never said a word. How was I to know you wanted to see me?’

  ‘I know, I was a fool. I should have begged you to come with me.’ Jake wound his fingers in the curls that were hopelessly tangled by wind and sand. ‘But, Cassie, I was terrified,’ he said. ‘I’d fallen wildly in love with you. That weekend, when we made love, it all happened so fast. I felt as if I was losing control when I was with you, nothing else mattered. I could feel myself slipping back, becoming the reckless boy I’d been before, not caring about anything except the moment.

  ‘It was as if everything I’d spent the last ten years working for had started to crumble,’ he tried to explain. ‘I thought I needed a day or two to get a grip of myself and decide what I really wanted.

  ‘And I realised that I wanted you,’ he told her. ‘When I got to London, everything was colourless without you. That life I’d fought to keep under control was still under control, but it was flat and meaningless too. So I knew I wanted you, but I wasn’t sure how to win you. You were always telling me how incompatible we were, and you clearly didn’t need me to have a good time.’

  Jake paused. ‘There was a little bit of me, too, that was hung over from the past, a bit that didn’t feel as if I was good enough for you. You come from such a nice, happy, middle-class family, and when all was said and done I was still one of those Trevelyans with a father in prison.’

  ‘But you’re more than that,’ said Cassie. ‘Your family doesn’t matter. It’s you I love, and as for my family, well, they’re going to see a chief executive, not the wild boy who used to make trouble in the village. They like high achievers, remember? They’ll approve of you much more than they do of me!’

  ‘I hope so,’ said Jake. ‘I suppose I just lost my nerve in London. I told myself I had to take things carefully, so I planned to ask you out to dinner as soon as you got back and ask if you’d consider making that silly pretence of being engaged real. But Natasha turned up instead. She told me you’d admitted that it was just a pretence, and had sent back the ring to prove it.’

  ‘I didn’t think you’d be able to resist her,’ sighed Cassie. ‘She’s so beautiful.’

  ‘Well, yes, she is-but next to you she’s just a little colourless. I never laughed with her the way I laughed with you. We never talked, or argued, or lost our cool with each other. Natasha’s a nice person,’ said Jake. ‘But she was the last person I wanted to see that day. Once I’d got over my disappointment that she wasn’t you, we had a long talk. I think the fact that she was ready to have an affair with Rupert made her realise that we weren’t really right for each other. I hope she’ll find the right man one day, but it’s not me.’

  ‘Why didn’t you at least call me then?’ asked Cassie, thinking of the weeks they had wasted being miserable apart.

  ‘I was angry,’ said Jake. ‘With Natasha, with you, but mostly with myself-for letting myself fall in love with you, for throwing my whole life into disorder for someone who apparently didn’t care enough about me to tell me she couldn’t be bothered to carry on pretending. And then, when I did hear from you, it was just an impersonal email about the Hall!’

  ‘At least I didn’t sign it “regards”!’ sniffed Cassie, and he laughed as he hugged her closer.

  ‘I was trying to show you I cared as little as you did. God, I can laugh now, but at the time I was hurt and I was bitter. I was impossible to deal with for two weeks-my PA told me she was ready to shoot me, in the end-until I realised I couldn’t go on like that. I used to take myself off for long walks around the streets, and one day I passed a guy on a motorbike. It was just like the one I used to have in Portrevick, and that’s when I started to think about what you’d said about accepting the past and letting go of it at the same time.

  ‘I can take a risk, I thought, and I went out and bought a bike of my own. And then I took an even bigger risk. I thought you’d be back in London, so I went round to your office and Joss told me you were still here, so I got straight on my bike and drove all the way down here,’ he said, unzipping a pocket to pull out the ruby ring.

  He shifted so that he was lying over Cassie, smiling down into her eyes. ‘I came to tell yo
u that I love you and I need you, and that more than anything in the world I want you to take this ring back and say you’ll marry me. Will you, Cassie?’

  Cassie’s smile trembled as she took the ring and slid it back onto her finger where it belonged. ‘Oh yes,’ she breathed, and her eyes shone as she put her arms around Jake’s neck to tug him down for a long, long kiss. ‘Oh yes, I will.’

  The short winter afternoon was closing in, but it was only the first spots of rain that forced them to move at last. ‘Have you still got that wedding dress you wore for the photos?’ Jake asked as they brushed sand off each other.

  ‘I took it back to the shop the next day.’

  ‘Why don’t you go and buy it?’ he said. ‘We can get married at Christmas.’

  ‘Christmas!’ said Cassie, startled. ‘That’s only a month away!’

  ‘It’s enough time for the banns to be read.’

  ‘Just!’

  ‘And the wedding’s already planned,’ he pointed out as they headed back to the car park. ‘We’ve got the table decorations and we know the menu. We’ve even had the photos done already. Tina’s got her bridesmaid’s dress, and I’ve got my tuxedo-unless you want me in breeches and a cravat, of course! So all you need to do is buy the dress and tell your family.’

  ‘Are you sure you don’t mean next Christmas?’ asked Cassie. ‘What happened to Mr Sensible? I thought you’d be saying it was crazy to rush into marriage!’

  ‘It is,’ said Jake with a smile. ‘But let’s do it anyway.’

  A gleaming, mean-looking motorbike had the car park to itself. Jake handed Cassie a helmet when they got back to it and put on his own. ‘Hop on the back,’ he said, kicking the machine into gear. ‘And we’ll go and see if the vicar can fit us in for a Christmas wedding.’

  EPILOGUE

  Christmas Eve

  CASSIE woke on her wedding morning to a glittering world. Under a thin, blue winter sky, a hard frost rimed every twig and every blade of grass. But by lunchtime the clouds had blanked out the meagre December light, hanging so heavily they seemed to be muffling the slightest noise, and Portrevick was enveloped in the stillness and strange, expectant silence that comes before snow.

  In the pub, they were taking bets on a white Christmas at last, and the children were wild with excitement at the prospect of bulging stockings and presents under the tree. Cassie had always loved Christmas, too, but this was her wedding day, and all she was dreaming about was the moment she stood in front of the altar with Jake. Until then, she hardly dared let herself believe that it wasn’t just all a dream.

  At four o’clock it was already dark, but there were flares lining the path to the church, and the trees were strung with fairy lights. Tina took the faux fur stole Cassie had worn on the brief journey from Portrevick Hall with her father and laid it on the porch seat.

  Cassie’s father offered her his arm. ‘You look beautiful, darling,’ he said. ‘Your mother and I are very proud of you, you know.’ His voice cracked a little at the end, and he had to clear his throat.

  ‘Thank you, Dad.’ Cassie’s eyes stung with tears. ‘Thank you for everything.’

  ‘Promise me you’ll be happy with Jake.’

  ‘I will.’ It was her turn to swallow a huge lump in her throat. ‘I know I will.’

  ‘In that case,’ said her father, reverting to his more usual, reassuringly brisk manner. ‘Let’s go.’

  And then they were walking up the uneven aisle of the old church. How odd, Cassie found herself thinking with a strange, detached part of her mind. She had spent so long planning weddings for other brides, so many years dreaming about her own, that she thought she would know how it would feel.

  Everything looked exactly as she had always imagined it. Lit only by candles, the little church looked beautiful, and was filled with the people she loved. Her mother was there, trying not to cry. Liz had started already, and was wiping her eyes with a handkerchief as she smiled tremulously. Her brothers were doing their level best to look as if they weren’t moved, and not quite succeeding.

  The flowers were simple, stunning arrangements of white, and tiny wreaths hung at the end of every pew. Cassie had a blurred impression of warmth and colour as everyone turned to smile as they passed. Yes, it was just as she’d imagined it.

  What she had never imagined was that none of it would really matter. The only thing that mattered was that Jake should be there, waiting for her at the altar.

  And there he was. Cassie’s heart gave a great bound of relief as she saw him turn. He was looking serious, but as she got closer she saw that he was not serious so much as anxious, and she knew with a sudden, dazzling certainty that he had been afraid she wouldn’t come, that all that mattered to him was that she was there.

  Her father lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it, and Cassie smiled at him brilliantly before he stepped back to join her mother. Then she turned to face Jake at last.

  He smiled at her as he took her hand, and she smiled back, twisting her fingers around his. All at once it was just the two of them in the warm candlelight. They had forgotten the church and the watching congregation, and Cassie could feel herself beginning to sway towards him, turning her face up for his kiss already.

  The vicar cleared his throat loudly, and they turned to him with identically startled expressions. He smiled. ‘If you could spare us few minutes of your attention…?’ he murmured.

  ‘Sorry,’ they whispered back, and he raised his voice.

  ‘Dearly beloved…’

  The familiar words rang like a bell in Cassie’s heart. This was what her wedding was about. It wasn’t about the beautiful dress she was wearing, or the gasps when the guests saw the great hall. It was more than an excuse for a party. It was about Jake and about her, about the love they shared and the life they would build together.

  Her eyes never left Jake’s dark-blue ones. She was intensely aware of his hand, of his voice making his responses steadily, of the smooth coolness of the ring he slid onto her finger. At last she was in the right place at the right time. It wasn’t a dream. This was where she was meant to be, and this was the man she was meant to be with.

  Cassie’s heart was so full, she could hardly say ‘I do’. Even when she thought it couldn’t possibly be any fuller, it kept swelling, and swelling until the vicar declared them man and wife, and then she was afraid it would explode altogether. Giddy with happiness, she smiled as Jake took her face between his hands and kissed her.

  ‘You look beautiful,’ he said.

  Cassie had seen how radiant other brides looked, and now she knew exactly how they felt. She was brimming with joy. It felt as if it were spilling out of her, shimmering away into the candlelight.

  In a blur, she dropped the pen twice before she managed to sign the register, and then she was sailing back down the aisle, Jake’s fingers wrapped firmly round her own.

  The church doors were thrown open and a magical scene awaited them. Great, soft snowflakes were drifting steadily to the ground, blurring the warm, flickering glow of the flares and glimmer of the tiny lights in the trees.

  ‘Oh Jake, it’s perfect!’ gasped Cassie, and promptly tripped over the porch step. ‘Just as well we decided not to have a video,’ she muttered out of the corner of her mouth as Jake hauled her upright, and behind her she heard Tina smother a fit of giggles. ‘Thank goodness I had you to hang on to, or I’d have gone flat on my face!’

  Jake’s hand tightened and he smiled down at her. ‘That’s the thing about being married,’ he said. ‘We’ll always have each other to hang on to now.’

  Cassie’s smile widened. ‘So we will,’ she said, and then stopped, catching sight of a carriage drawn up outside the lych gate. In the light of the flares there, she could see that it was pulled by two white horses.

  A car would be more sensible, Jake had said once, and it was a car she had expected to take them back to the great hall. But Jake, her sensible husband, must have remembered her fantasy and arranged
the carriage for her instead.

  Her eyes shone as she looked up at him. ‘It’s my dream!’ she breathed, but Jake shook his head and smiled.

  ‘It’s not a dream,’ he said. ‘It’s real.’

  JESSICA HART’S TOP TEN TIPS FOR A SPARKLING CHRISTMAS PARTY!

  Invite all your neighbours as well as your friends, even if you don’t know them very well. Everybody loves to be invited to a party-and it’s a great way to meet that person you smile at in the street every day but whose name you don’t know…

  It’s much more fun if everyone is jammed in together, so put your guests in a room that’s not quite big enough for them all. Don’t let anyone sit down, either! It makes it easier for your guests to mingle and meet each other if everyone is standing up.

  Don’t forget to introduce guests to each other-it can be daunting to walk into a room full of people who all seem to know each other, and it makes a big difference if the hostess makes sure everyone has someone to talk to when they arrive.

  At Christmas you can go to town on the decorations-a Christmas tree is a must, but fairy lights look wonderful strung around the room too. Keep the lighting flattering with candles and soft lamps, and put out piles of pine cones and crackers. A room fragrance scented with cinnamon, oranges and cloves will get everyone in the mood the moment they step through the door.

  Greet guests with a glass of mulled wine and a mince pie as soon as they arrive, or impress them with a real Christmas cocktail-see below!

  Cheese biscuits to nibble on are easy to make, and if you buy a box of Christmas pastry-cutters you can have holly, stars, angels, Christmas trees and all sorts of other Christmassy shapes, or use letters to spell Noel or Happy Christmas on a plate. They can be made in advance, and will make it look as if you’ve gone to masses of effort even when you haven’t.