The Longing Within (Desire for Discipline Book 3)

by Kole, Isabella

  “You’re right; it’s not all about me. But we do need to discuss the options. I can’t go on like this forever.”

  “No, you can’t. Money is no issue. You’d never have to work again if you didn’t want to, but I know that’s not in your nature. We’ll work something out in time, but for now, let’s just go have some laughs, a few drinks, and a good time with our friends.”

  “Truce?” she asked.

  “Truce,” he replied. “But you ever refuse to get ready again and not only will you get your ass spanked, but you’ll be wearing a butt plug to dinner.”

  “You wouldn’t!”

  “Try me,” he said as he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “Now, let’s go.”

  In spite of the rocky start to their evening, Lyndsey managed to have an enjoyable dinner. She had to squirm around a bit in order to find a comfortable sitting position, but all in all, she had a nice time with Blake and Joanne. When the evening ended, she and Joanne hugged with tears in their eyes as they promised to stay in touch.

  “We’ll make a trip out soon,” John promised as he said goodbye.

  “Thanks for all your help today,” Blake said as he shook his boss’s hand.

  In the car on the way home, John turned to her and asked, “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

  “It was fine. Were you serious about the trip out there?” she asked.

  “Of course, we’ll give Joanne some time to get settled in her new surroundings and we’ll go out for a long weekend. It’ll give me a chance to check on things at the office and you can spend some quality girl time with her.”

  By the time they fell asleep hours later, she had agreed to look into some other possibilities. She knew she could find work with a pub that would hire her on a contract basis, but was that really what she wanted? There were so many options available to her, but none of them held the appeal of being a part of a team like Starlight. She liked the idea of leaving the house and going into the office every day. She liked the idea of keeping her professional life and her personal life separated. She loved attending conferences and holding workshops, working the crowds, taking pitches. She missed having all that in her life. It had become a part of her. Why didn’t anyone understand that? She had promised John that on Monday morning, she would begin to explore the options, but her heart just wasn’t in it.

  Sunday was a quiet day for the Gordons. They slept late, had breakfast in bed, shared the morning newspaper and made love. Later, while John watched a ballgame on television, she excused herself to make a trip to the mall. She wandered through the stores, window shopping and making a few purchases. She relaxed at Starbucks with a latte, and finally, when it was time to head home for dinner, she walked to the parking lot and got into her car. It had been nice, having the afternoon to herself, but things had changed so drastically in her life. Weekends used to be the time she looked forward to, her time with John. Was her depression about her professional life affecting her personal life as well? Perhaps her husband was right. She was letting her disappointment affect everything. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. Her perfect life was no longer so perfect and she didn’t like it. Yes, first thing Monday morning, she would begin to put her life back in order. One way or the other, she would end the chaos.

  “I’ve put steaks on the grill,” John said when she walked in. “Did you buy anything sexy?” he teased as an afterthought.

  “No, just a few things for the condo. I’ll whip up a salad to go with the steaks.”

  He poured a glass of wine and handed it to her. “To us,” he said in a toast before he kissed her.

  “Yes, to us,” she replied.

  Chapter Seventeen

  As soon as John was out the door the next morning, Lyndsey pulled out her laptop and started her search. She went to a trade website and began checking the ads listed for editors. She found several, with some smaller presses, and she sent inquiries to two of them.

  “Wow,” she said aloud as one ad stood out. A major publishing house in New York was looking for someone to be their Acquisitions Editor. As she read the details, her eyes lit up. It was perfect. But it was in New York. John would never agree to that.

  She closed the laptop and walked into the other room. In an attempt to rid her mind of thoughts of getting back into what she loved, she pulled out the vacuum and began to clean the condo. She spent the greater part of the day dusting and scrubbing and when she looked at the clock, she saw that it was time to start dinner. She put away her cleaning supplies and went back to the kitchen. The laptop was still on the counter. Once again, she couldn’t resist, and opened it back up. She pulled up the website and looked at the ad once more. On a whim, she answered the ad, attached her resume and quickly shut down the computer again. She put it away and began cooking dinner.

  She was all smiles when John walked in a short time later.

  “You’ve been busy, the place smells like pine,” he remarked as he gave her a light peck on the cheek.

  “I spent the day cleaning,” she said as she checked the casserole in the oven.

  “I thought you were going to look at possible jobs.”

  “I did, this morning. I even replied to a couple of ads. Some small presses are looking for contract editors. After that, I decided the place needed a good going over.”

  “Good for you,” he said. “I’m going to change my clothes. How long before dinner is ready?”

  “Another ten minutes,” she said as she pulled plates from the cupboard.

  They sat down to dinner fifteen minutes later and she asked about his day. “Busy, but I think we can go to Pennsylvania next Thursday and stay until Monday. I spoke to Blake this morning.”

  “That’s great. I’ll give Joanne a call later in the week.”

  “That would be good. The two of you can iron out the details. She’s not working yet, so she’ll be available to spend some time with you while Blake and I are at the office.”

  “She wasn’t in any hurry to look for a job. I wonder what she’ll decide,” Lyndsey remarked as she buttered a roll.

  “He said she has been checking the local want ads.”

  “She doesn’t care about getting back into the publishing field, unlike me.”

  “Honey, something will open up. Be patient. In the meantime, enjoy your time. Have you heard from Maeve about the newspaper yet?”

  “No, not yet, but they’ve been out of town. One of Bob’s brothers had surgery and they went to be with the family.”

  “I hope he’s doing okay,” John replied with concern.

  “Oh, yes, he’s home now. They’ll be back this week sometime.”

  “Have you talked with Bryan or Janis lately?” he asked.

  “I spoke with her on the phone the other day. They’ve both been busy at the office. Some big project again, I guess. But Bob’s birthday is coming up, so I’m expecting Maeve to want to do a family dinner. I’ll find out and let you know so we can plan on going.”

  He helped her with the dishes and asked her to join him on the deck. They sat and enjoyed the warm spring evening until bedtime.

  When they entered the bedroom, he took her in his arms. “I’ve missed this, Lyndsey. I know you haven’t been yourself, and I’ve tried to leave you alone, but I can’t keep my hands off you any longer. I need you.”

  “Oh, John, you’ve got me,” she said just as his lips devoured hers. He scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bed where he gently laid her down.

  He lay beside her and began caressing her cheek. “Things will fall into place for you. I promise,” he said as he began to unbutton her blouse.

  She shrugged the fabric off her shoulders and allowed him to remove it completely. Her jeans soon followed and in short order she was naked, her body hot with anticipation of delights to come.

  He stood up and removed his own clothing before he went to the nightstand and opened the drawer. Taking out a scarf, he returned to the bed. He placed the soft material of the scarf
over her eyes and tied it securely in the back. Once he was certain she couldn’t see, he began to tease her with something that tickled.

  “What is that?” she asked.

  “Feathers,” he replied. “Do you like it?” he asked.

  “It tickles, mmmm, that feels good,” she said as he reached the area below her navel.

  He continued to taunt her with light strokes of the feathers before she felt his tongue on her swollen clitoris. She gasped as hot, wet licks of heat invaded her senses. It wasn’t long before she was over the edge with desire. He stopped and flipped her over on her stomach. She waited, expecting him to lift up her bottom and enter her that way, but instead, she heard the drawer opening a second time. A few minutes later, she felt something cool being rubbed on her anus. He was lubing her. They’d never had anal sex before! She was a little bit apprehensive, but he calmed her by leaning down and whispering softly in her ear, “It’s okay, you’ll like it.”

  She relaxed and allowed him to continue. As his left hand moved around under her belly to the wet place between her legs, he began to massage her before inserting a finger. His right hand was busy in the back and a finger was also inserted there. His movements excited her and she began to move in rhythm to the movements of his fingers. When he was sure she was sufficiently moistened and aroused, he removed the finger in her ass and replaced it with the head of his cock. Slowly he pushed his way inside, all the while his left hand still occupying the other end. Shocked that she could accommodate his width, she slowly began to move with him again and it wasn’t long before the friction was so intense she cried out. Pleasure overtook her senses as she thrashed about beneath him. He gave one final hard thrust and they went to paradise together, basking in the sensations overtaking their bodies, sweat glistening off their skins as the moonlight shone through the bedroom window.

  He quietly got up and went into the bathroom. Returning a few minutes later, she felt something warm and wet as he cleaned her thoroughly with a warm cloth. When he removed the blindfold later, he immediately kissed her passionately on the mouth. She purred.

  “My kitten, come here, let’s get some sleep.” He rolled to his side and pulled her close to his chest. She could feel his heart beating and was soon asleep, calmer and more satisfied than she had been in weeks.

  The next morning, after kissing him goodbye and lingering at the doorway, she finally let him leave and poured herself another cup of coffee before getting out her laptop. She checked her email to see if there had been any replies to yesterday’s queries and was pleased to see that one of the presses had expressed an interest in her editing abilities.

  Well, it’s not exactly what I had in mind, but it’s a start, she thought as she typed out a reply to them.

  She went to the website of the New York pub and glanced over their information. It was impressive, to say the least. They had some top notch authors in their lineup and some she’d never heard of.

  Deciding she should do something else with her time, she closed the laptop and phoned Joanne.

  “I get to see you next week, have you heard?” she asked when she heard her friend say hello.

  “Yes, Blake told me last night. I can’t wait. What would you like to do while the guys are working?”

  “Oh, we can just spend a girl’s day, maybe get our nails done, do lunch, you know, live it up.”

  Joanne laughed. “We could do a spa day. There’s a new one that just opened up in town that I’ve been dying to try. It’ll be so much more fun to do it together.”

  “Sounds great, why don’t you go ahead and make an appointment for us on Friday, because I’m not sure what time our flight will arrive on Thursday,” she replied.

  “I will. How’s the job situation coming along?” Joanne asked.

  “I’ve applied for some freelance editing jobs.” She was careful not to mention the New York ad she’d replied to.

  “I have an interview with an agency tomorrow. I might become an agent.”

  “Wow, you’d be good at that. Is this an agent for authors?” she asked.

  “Authors, musicians, poets, songwriters,” was the reply.

  “That’s great. Good luck. You’ll have to let me know how it goes.”

  “I’m a bit nervous, but I’ll get through it. Blake has been great.”

  “You’ve found a keeper, I do believe. I’d better run. I’ve got a call coming in from Maeve.”

  “Don’t keep Mama waiting. See you soon,” Joanne said as she ended the call.

  “Maeve, are you home?” she asked as she switched calls.

  “We got back last night. How are you, dear?”

  “A little better, I think. I may start doing some freelance editing for a small press until something else comes along.”

  “I can still speak to my newspaper friend, if you like,” her mother offered.

  “Let’s hold off on that for just a bit. We’re leaving next Thursday for a long weekend in Pennsylvania with Joanne and Blake.”

  “Oh, I’m glad. It will do you good to get away. I wanted to speak to you about a birthday dinner for your father. I thought we’d have it here, at the house, with just the six of us. Does that sound good to you?”

  “I told John just last night that was coming up. When did you have in mind?” she asked.

  His birthday is the twelfth, so how about the Saturday night after that?”

  She glanced at the calendar. “That’s the weekend after our trip to Pennsylvania, so it’ll work for us. Have you checked with Bryan or Janis yet?”

  “I’ll give her a call next. I wanted to check in with you first. I’ve been worried about you.”

  “I’m sorry. It’s been difficult, but I really am doing better. Thank you for your concern.”

  “I still think you need to write a book that’ll knock the socks off the publishing world. I know you can do it.”

  She laughed. “Oh, Maeve, whatever am I going to do with you?” she asked.

  “I don’t know, but I’ll get back to you about the dinner. Have a nice day and let’s get together for a shopping day soon.”

  “I’d like that.”

  When she was finished with her calls, she went into the other room and sat down. Could she really follow her dream and write a book after all this time? What would she write about?

  She received her first assignment from the small publisher a few days later and that left her little time for anything else as she delved into the story to be edited. She returned her completed work and waited to hear back from them. It would go to the senior editor, who would check her work, and based on her recommendation, she would either receive more work from them or they would sever ties with her. She wasn’t worried. She was good at her job.

  She waited to hear from New York. By the time they were packing to leave for Pennsylvania the next week, she still hadn’t received an email or a phone call. She tried to put it in the back of her mind as she excitedly looked forward to the trip.

  She brushed her long, blonde hair and secured it with a clip just before John walked into the bedroom.

  “I haven’t seen you with your hair up in a long time. It looks good,” he remarked as he began pulling shirts out of the closet.

  She got up from her dressing table and said, “Let me help you. We’re going to have to hurry to make our flight. What on earth have you been doing?”

  “I had a last minute detail to take care of before I could get out of the office. We have just enough time to get to the airport and get checked in. I made sure of that.”

  Between the two of them they were packed, ready and on the road shortly after that. The next hour was busy as they got checked in and boarded their flight. Joanne was to pick them up at the airport and from there they were to go straight to the office. Joanne and Lyndsey would decide what to do after that.

  She excitedly scanned the crowd for Joanne’s shock of bright red hair and when she saw her waving in the terminal, she ran to her. The two girls hugged while John
stood by and chuckled.

  “It’s only been a few weeks,” he teased.

  “I have so much to tell you,” Joanne said as they walked to her car in the parking garage.

  “It seems that life in Pennsylvania agrees with you,” John remarked on the way to the office.

  “I’m settling in and learning my way around. I’ve even met a few of the neighbors,” was her reply.

  “That’s great,” he said.

  “I can’t wait to hear all about the interview you had last week. I expected a call from you,” Lyndsey said.

  “I haven’t heard back yet, but they said it would be a week or so. I think the interview went well, though.”

  “Here we are, Lyndsey, why don’t you come in and say hello to everyone before you and Joanne take off?” John asked when Joanne parked the car.

  “Sure, I’d love to see them again.” The three of them walked into the building and after several minutes of catching up, the two girls took their leave.

  “We’ll see you at the apartment at six,” Blake said as he ran his hand through his blonde hair.

  “We’ll be there, dinner out or should we cook?” Joanne asked.

  “We’ll go out,” John replied. “Lyndsey is on vacation.”

  They all laughed. “Lyndsey is always on vacation these days,” she replied.

  Joanne and Lyndsey spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying a relaxing visit in one of the local coffee shops.

  “I found this place my first week here and I love it. I come here every chance I get,” Joanne explained.

  “You look so happy,” Lyndsey remarked.

  “I am. Blake and I have been talking. I think we’re going to get married, something small and quiet, probably late summer, just my family and his, and you guys, of course,” she said with excitement. “And maybe the staff from the office,” she added.

  “Married?” Lyndsey asked in surprise.

  “I know it seems sudden, but when you know, you just know.”