The Longing Within (Desire for Discipline Book 3)

by Kole, Isabella

  “I’m…happy for you. Shocked, but definitely happy,” Lyndsey replied.

  “Tell me about you. Are you resigned to the fact you no longer work for Starlight? Any rumblings about how things are going over there now?”

  “I haven’t heard anything. I’ve come to grips with it, but I still don’t know what I want to do. I want to stay in the field, in some capacity, but there isn’t anything in the Nashville area.”

  “John won’t move again, will he?”

  “No, he’s very adamant about that. I hope I can change his mind. Maybe I could commute.”

  “Be serious, Lyndsey. That’s crazy talk.”

  “Maybe so, but why couldn’t he come back here?”

  “What about the Nashville office and his clients there? He’s really built it up in the short time he’s been there from what Blake says.”

  “Yes, that’s true, he has.”

  “I think you’d better just put that idea out of your head. You’re staying put in Tennessee.”

  “I guess so,” she replied. She decided against telling Joanne about the position in New York. Smiling, she added, “We’d better get a move on or the guys will beat us to the apartment.”

  “I’ll get this,” Joanne said as she laid some bills on the table.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The weekend was fun and rejuvenating. Lyndsey enjoyed the spa day with Joanne, and the time the four of them spent together was relaxing. She returned home with a new sense of purpose. Joanne had received the call she’d been waiting for while they were there, and she was to start her new position in two weeks. Lyndsey had been overjoyed for her and they had celebrated on Saturday night. Now, if only she would get the call she was anxiously waiting for. She would deal with the fallout later. If she got the job, she would find a way to convince John they could make it work.

  She received more work from the small pub and immediately began working on the projects they’d sent. She enjoyed the work more than she’d thought she would and it was actually nice to be at home, on her own schedule, no rushing here and there.

  The evening of the family birthday dinner arrived and it went smoothly. No one brought up the subject of Lyndsey’s work situation and no one offered suggestions. The evening was spent enjoying each other’s company and discussing summer plans.

  Two more weeks passed and it was summer. The heat was almost unbearable this year and Lyndsey stayed inside as much as she could. John was working on a huge project, but always managed to keep the work at the office, per their arrangement. Things were calmer, but Lyndsey was still awaiting a call from New York. She hadn’t given up hope, that by some miracle, the job would be offered to her, and somehow, her husband would relent and find a way for her to accept it and keep their marriage intact.

  One morning around ten o’clock, the call finally came.

  “Ms. Gordon?” the voice on the other end of the line asked.

  “Yes, this is Lyndsey Gordon,” she replied.

  “Good morning, this is Lucy Bates calling from Bland and Bland Publishing in New York. How are you this morning?”

  “I’m doing well, thank you.” Lyndsey hoped she didn’t come across as nervous as she felt. This was what she’d been waiting for.

  “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to respond to your application. I’ve been on vacation. When I returned and looked over your resume, I have to say I was extremely impressed with your credentials.”

  “Thank you,” Lyndsey replied.

  “I’d like to set up a face-to-face interview with you. Would it be possible for you to fly out to New York in the next few weeks?”

  “Let me check my schedule and see when I can arrange it. May I get back to you in a few days?”

  “Yes, certainly, I realize you can’t just fly out at a moment’s notice. I’ll work around your plans. I’ll look forward to hearing from you.”

  “Thank you so much. I’ll get back to you soon.”

  Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God! Lyndsey danced around the kitchen until she stopped and realized it would be next to impossible for her to be out of town for two days without John knowing where she was. There had to be way!

  As luck would have it, John told her that evening that he needed to be out of town for several days the next week. “I’ll be in California. Do you want to come along? We won’t be able to do any sightseeing, as I’ll be tied up, but you could hang out at the hotel. Or if you prefer, you can stay here, maybe spend some time with Janis or Maeve.”

  She couldn’t believe her luck. She could fly to New York for her interview and fly back the next day and John would be none the wiser. It had to be fate!

  “As much as I’d like to go to California for a week, I think I’d better stay here. Maeve has been after me to spend a day together shopping. Maybe I can talk her and Janis both into doing an overnight getaway, just us girls. This would be the perfect time for it.”

  “I agree. I’ll miss you like crazy, though, you know that.”

  “I’ll miss you, too, baby.”

  “Let me take you out for dinner since you haven’t started anything yet.”

  “Actually, I was planning to grill out on the deck, but I can do that another night.”

  “Go get changed into that pretty sundress you bought the other day and we’ll go for Italian.”

  “I’ll just be a minute,” she said as she ran to the bedroom. She couldn’t believe her luck. He’d be gone a week, which would give her plenty of time to fly to New York for the interview and also to spend a few days with Janis and Maeve.

  The week sped by. She had talked Janis and Maeve into a shopping getaway. They were to leave on Sunday after she dropped John at the airport and they would return home on Monday. They planned to stay in a hotel near their favorite mall. They would shop until they dropped, eat fattening food and giggle in their room, until they fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. It would be wonderful. Janis was even going to ask Jill if she wanted to join them.

  As for New York, she had made arrangements to meet with Lucy Bates on Thursday. It was perfect. She would fly out early Thursday morning; meet with Lucy on Thursday afternoon and possibly again on Friday morning before flying back on Friday night. She wasn’t to pick John up at the airport until Sunday afternoon.

  On Sunday morning, she stood at the window and watched as John’s flight took off. Glancing at her watch, she saw that she had just enough time to meet the others at the mall at the appointed time. When she arrived, Jill and Janis were already standing by the entrance waiting.

  “Where’s Maeve?” she asked as she joined them.

  “She called and said she’d be a few minutes late. Did you get John on his way to sunny California?” Janis asked.

  “Yes, his plane took off a few minutes ago,” she replied. “Jill, I’m glad you could join us.”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t miss this for the world, although, I still can’t believe you turned down a trip to California.”

  “When John said he’d be working the entire time, it just seemed like this would be a good time for all of us to get together. I’d rather go on a trip with him for pleasure.”

  “I guess that makes sense. Oh, there’s Maeve now,” Jill said as she waved to the other woman.

  “I’m so sorry, girls. I had a last minute phone call and it made me late leaving the house. Are we ready to hit the stores?” she asked.

  The four of them shopped, tried on clothes, giggled and spent money on everything from clothes for Jill’s little boy to lingerie. When they finally broke for lunch, they were ready to get off their feet. It was mid-afternoon and the lunch crowd was gone, so they were able to enjoy a relaxing and quiet meal.

  “Let’s take our things to the car and come back in. There are a few more stores I want to hit before we check in at the hotel,” Janis said when they’d finished eating.

  “Okay, these bags were getting heavy,” Jill agreed.

  When they finally checked into their room at six, they were ready
to freshen up before dinner.

  “Is the hotel restaurant okay with everyone for dinner?” Jill asked. “I’ve heard the filet mignon is out of this world.”

  “Fine,” the others all said in agreement.

  Jill had heard correctly. The food was delicious. They ordered a bottle of wine with dinner, and by the time they were ready to go back to their room, they were full and relaxed.

  “I’m all for getting comfy and watching a movie,” Lyndsey said when they sat down.

  “Oh, yeah,” Janis agreed.

  Minutes later, they were in their pajamas and choosing a movie on the television in their room. When the movie ended, they chatted into the night before finally giving in and calling it quits. It had been an enjoyable day for all of them.

  “We’ll have to do this again sometime,” Maeve said at breakfast the next morning.

  “Maybe we can do something like this when it’s time to Christmas shop,” Janis said. “I’ll bet Mom would like to join us next time.”

  “She would, I’m sure,” Jill agreed. “I would have mentioned it to her this time, but she and dad already had plans.”

  “That would be fun,” Lyndsey agreed.

  They said their goodbyes after that and each of them headed home. When Lyndsey arrived at the condo, she put away her purchases and decided to take it easy for the rest of the day. They had only gotten a few hours sleep and she had a lot to do the next two days before she flew to New York.

  John phoned that night and after talking with him for over an hour, she finally turned out the bedside lamp and went to sleep. It was odd not having him in bed with her to curl up next to. She missed the feel of his arms around her.

  The next two days were spent finishing her editing projects and deciding what to pack for her interview. She made all the final arrangements and by early Thursday morning she was at the airport having coffee while she waited to board her flight. The flight was delayed and she left a message for Lucy to let her know she would be arriving in New York later.

  As she sat in the terminal and waited, she thought about the possibilities that lay ahead of her. If she got the position with Bland and Bland, her life would change drastically. She and John would have to hash out whether or not they would move, or if she would commute. If they moved to Pennsylvania, the commute would be shorter. Suddenly a frightening thought hit her. What if John didn’t agree? What if he was so angry with her that he gave her an ultimatum, the job or their marriage? Was it worth the risk? Was this job so important to her that she was willing to throw away the best thing that had ever happened to her?

  John was right! It was only a job. Their marriage was the most important thing in her life. Why hadn’t she seen that before? She knew what she had to do.

  On the drive home, she thanked her lucky stars that she had come to her senses in time. Lucy had been disappointed when she had called to inform her she wouldn’t be making the trip after all. She had explained that it just wasn’t feasible right now. Lucy had been understanding, but disappointed all the same.

  When she pulled into the driveway, she noticed a light was on in the living room. She didn’t remember leaving it on when she left. She must have been in such a hurry to get to the airport that she forgot. She pulled her car in beside John’s and went inside. When she walked into the living room to turn out the light, her heart stopped. Seated in his favorite chair was John and he didn’t look happy.

  “John!” she exclaimed. “You scared me. What in the world are you doing here? I’m supposed to pick you up on Sunday.”

  “And imagine my surprise when I finished up early and decided to surprise my darling wife by taking a cab home from the airport this afternoon, only to find she wasn’t home. I’d like to know, Lyndsey, were you going to tell me before or after you accepted the position in New York?”

  “What?” she asked. How could he possibly know about New York? She had told no one. She’d been careful not to leave any evidence of the trip or the interview lying around. How did he know?

  “I’ll bet you’re wondering how I found out, aren’t you? Let me play back this message for you.” He pushed a button on the landline phone and they listened as the voicemail message played.

  “Lyndsey, it’s Lucy Bates again from Bland and Bland Publishing in New York. I forgot to mention when we spoke earlier that I’ll have a car and driver waiting for you at the airport when you get in. He’ll bring you right to the office for your interview and then he’ll drive you to your hotel. I’m looking forward to our meeting, see you soon.”

  John looked at her and said in a calm, controlled voice, “So, you see, my dear, there’s no getting out of this one. You don’t need to concoct a story about why you weren’t here when I came home to surprise you. I know exactly where you were.”

  “I’m sorry, John. It just came up. I had to try.”

  “After all the discussions we’d had on the subject, you had to know how I felt about it. And yet, you went behind my back and applied for a position in New York. I’ve no doubt it’s a dream job, with all the perks, benefits and salary of your old job, most likely even better, but did you give any consideration at all to my feelings? Did our marriage enter into this equation in any way, shape or form?”

  “I changed my mind at the airport. I couldn’t go through with it.”

  “This is why you didn’t want to go to California with me, isn’t it?” he demanded.

  “Y…yes…part of it. Did you hear what I said? I didn’t go. I called and cancelled the interview.”

  “But you applied for the position. You accepted an interview. You made plans behind my back while I was out of town to fly to New York. What if they had offered you the job? What then, Lyndsey?”

  “I…I thought we would work it out.”

  “You thought we would work it out?” he repeated in the form of a question. “Just get out of my sight. Go to the bedroom and stay there. I can’t even look at you right now, let alone have any form of discussion.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Silently, she turned and walked to the bedroom. She dropped her bags to the floor and threw herself face down on the bed. She’d never seen John so angry. She should have known, and he was in no mood to hear her out. She couldn’t explain to him that it was his love and the thought of jeopardizing what they had together that had made her change her mind.

  She heard his footsteps in the hall several minutes later and waited as he opened the door to the bedroom.

  “I see you’ve assumed the position,” he said.

  She turned her head and saw that in his hand was the wooden paddle. She turned the other way. So be it.

  “Lyndsey, I can’t begin to tell you how disappointed I am in you. I had no idea your career meant that much to you that you’d be willing to give up our marriage for it. I guess now I know.”

  “No, John, it was the thought of losing you over this that made me cancel the interview and come back home. I never got on the plane.”

  “I see.” He walked over to the side of the bed and stood there. “You know that you have to be punished for this.”

  “If that’s what you believe,” she said in a low tone.

  “If we are to salvage our relationship after this blatant betrayal, yes, it’s what I believe. I do think you’re telling me the truth about the change of heart you experienced at the airport. I am glad you came back home, but you went against me. I had expressly told you not to apply for a job out of the state several times. I told you my reasons, the timing isn’t right. It has to be a joint decision, for the good of the marriage, and this isn’t the time. I have a business and a career to consider, too. You aren’t the only person in this relationship with responsibilities.”

  He reached over and pushed her skirt up over her hips. Slowly, he pulled her panties down to her knees. When the first crack of the paddle hit her ass cheeks, she jumped. The second one burned like fire. She clenched her cheeks together.

  “Oh, no, you don’t. You’re goi
ng to feel every slap of this wood,” he said as he walked around to the bedside table and opened the drawer. When he returned, he opened her cheeks wide and began to insert the lubed plug.

  “Ouch,” she cried out. This one was bigger. He’d always used the smaller one and it had been done in pleasure, not for pain.

  “This will prevent you from clenching to lessen the pain,” he explained. The third strike of the wood hit her left cheek and she winced. “Count, Lyndsey.”

  “F…four,” she said as he smacked her again, this time on the right cheek.

  “Again,” he said in a low voice.

  “F…five,” she said quietly. One more hard smack, this time to the top of her thighs.

  “Six,” she counted as she closed her eyes. She had been wrong and she had hurt him deeply. She was sorry, but would she ever be able to make him understand? Would things ever be the same?

  The wooden paddle came down hard on her ass, which by this time was on fire. She didn’t anticipate being able to sit for a week at this rate. This was the hardest spanking he’d ever doled out and the plug in her ass was making it impossible for her to clench her butt cheeks, just as he’d said it would. It was extremely uncomfortable.

  “Count, we’re not done yet,” he said.

  “Seven.” Once again, she felt the sting of the wood as the paddle came down hard against her already throbbing bottom. Why did she feel wetness between her legs? Why was there an ache building in her belly? Why did she wish he would throw down the paddle, turn her over and thrust his cock deep inside her? She needed him. She needed to know he still wanted her.

  To her surprise, that’s exactly what happened next. She heard the paddle hit the hardwood floor, heard him unbuckle his belt and drop his pants. He flipped her over and kissed her hard on the mouth. A moment later, he thrust inside her, deep and hard. He rode her hard, harder than he’d ever done before. She moved with him, her ass stinging with pain, the plug still inserted. They came almost immediately, simultaneously.