Moments of Clarity (Moments Series Book 2)

by J B Heller

  I swallow, I shouldn’t be getting hard right now, but I am. Shit. “Chance,” I start, but that’s as far as I get, because she turns away from me, flings her door open and gets out, slamming it in my face.

  Throwing my own door wide, I jump out, then slam it shut behind me as I go after her. “Chance,” I yell, but she ignores me, storming toward the dark buildings. I pick up my pace and jog after her. “Chance, would you hold up a damn minute?” I call after her.

  Still she ignores me as she disappears into the darkness, “Fuck,” I mutter and start running to catch up, when I reach the awning of the building she was heading for, it clicks. She’s going to the photo lab. I don’t bother calling out to her again, seeing as she refuses to answer me anyway.

  A minute later, I close the door to the lab behind me with a soft click. The room is so damn dark, but I catch the glow of Chance’s phone screen in the far corner. I stay quiet until I’m just a couple of feet from her, so she can’t run from me again, “Talk,” I demand.

  She startles, her phone flying into the air as she clutches her chest, “Jesus, Carter! Stop doing that!”

  I crowd her, “Stop running from me,” I shoot back.

  She’s sitting on the bench I’d put her on that first day I came in here looking for her, and my mind is assaulted with images of us making out right here, Chance’s arms and legs wrapped around me, moaning into my mouth. Fuck, that doesn’t help the semi I’m already sporting. I try to discreetly rearrange my junk as I wait for her to explain what the fuck she’s doing.

  Finally, she huffs, “I wasn’t running, I was speed walking,” she says, as she crosses her arms across her chest.

  I sneer, “Same fucking thing, they both take you away from me. And I don’t fucking like it,” my fingers dig into my hips to stop from reaching for her.

  “Well, too bad. I don’t like skanky cheerleaders staking their claim to you right in front of me. But hey, shit happens,” she snarls back.

  “That’s what this is about? You’re jealous?” I ask, honestly having no clue why she’s acting like this.

  She raises a brow, “No, Carter, I’m not jealous. I know you would be with her if you wanted to be. I’m pissed that you don’t think I can handle it on my own.”

  I frown and rub my temples, “I didn’t say that, I was just asking you to let it go. They’re not worth the trouble they will cause if you go for one of them. They’re like a pack of feral dogs when you piss them off. They’re savage.”

  Chance jumps down from the bench and stands in front of me, “She’s not the first mean girl I’ve had to handle, and I’m sure she won’t be the last. Life is full of mean girls who think they can treat people like crap. I’m not like them, Carter. They don’t like that, and if we’re going to do this, I’m going to have to handle them myself.”

  I bow my head, I didn’t even consider this when I went after Chance, and I should have. She steps closer to me, closing the space between our bodies and ducking down to look me in the eyes, “We good?” she asks.

  Nodding, I wrap my hands around her waist, my thumbs meeting bare skin, “What are you wearing?” I didn’t even notice when we were outside, I was too busy looking at her gorgeous smile.

  I feel her shrug in my arms, “Nothing special.” Then she leads me out of the photo lab, locking it up behind her and taking my hand as we walk back to my car.

  The lot is almost empty when we reach it, and I look down at her under the bright lights that illuminate the area, nearly swallowing my tongue when I take in her form. She’s wearing a green and black checked mini skirt with black leggings or stocking things covering her long legs and her combat boots. The long sleeve top she has on doesn’t quite meet the skirt at her waist, leaving a tantalizing sliver of creamy skin on display.

  She laughs when I stop abruptly, staring at her, “What?” she quips.

  “You are so damn beautiful, you know that, right? I’ve told you that before, haven’t I? You’re my sexy little nerd,” I tell her, taking in the writing on her black top, Trust Me I’m A Jedi.

  Chance does a little curtsy, “Why thank you,” she says, a coy grin tugging at her lips.

  Holding her hand isn’t enough, I drop it and take her face in my palms, pressing my desperate lips to hers, and close my eyes. She responds immediately, wrapping her arms around my hips, clawing at the small of my back through my shirt.

  “Let’s get out of here,” I say, breathless, taking her hand again and jogging toward my car, tugging her along behind me.

  I grin when I realise where we’re going, back to my happy place.

  My hair is hanging loosely over my shoulder and I pull a hair tie out of my bag, wrapping it around my wrist while I weave a braid then tie it off. I notice Carter watching me from the corner of his eye, “What?” I ask.

  He shakes his head, “Nothin,’ you’re just, you’re something else, Chance Haynes. And I’m pissed with myself for waiting so long to claim you.”

  I can’t stop the smile his words cause, “I told you already, better late than never. The past is gone, you’re here now, we’re here now, just let it go.”

  He nods, “I know,” Carter says, then he goes quiet.

  But it’s more than that, he’s so still, like he’s somewhere else, “You want to talk about it?” I ask, reaching over the centre console and wrapping my hand around his neck, playing with his hair as he drives.

  I feel a shiver roll down his spine, and he looks at me, grinning, “I love having your fingers in my hair,” he says, “I want to talk about you, what are your plans after graduation?”

  Shuffling around in my seat, I get comfortable, while still tickling his neck, “I’m going to work with my brother, Hux. He’s going to mentor me, and I’m crazy excited about it. Hux can teach me so much, he already has, but to be fully submerged in the industry with him,” I sigh happily, “Dream come true,” I explain.

  “What’s he mentoring you in, exactly?” Carter asks.

  I smile thinking about my brother, “Have you heard of the photographer, Hadley?”

  Carter thinks for a minute, “I think so, he takes pictures of ordinary things but in a way that makes them beautiful. That guy?”

  My smile widens, “Yeah, that’s him. That’s my brother,” I say, feeling so much pride for my incredible big brother.

  Carter parks the car then turns to me, “That guy is your brother? No wonder you’re so into photography.”

  I nod again then slide out of my seat and start down the track to my happy place, “Yep, he’s my biggest inspiration. Hux gave me my first camera, and my path became so clear, I could see my whole future.”

  “I wish I had that kind of certainty,” Carter mumbles behind me.

  Walking backward, so I can see his face in the glow of my phone torch, I watch him carefully, “What do you want to do?”

  Just then I stumble on an above ground root, and Carter grabs me right before I hit the ground. His big arms wrap around my middle as he holds me close, “Be with you,” he says against my lips, “That’s what I want to do, it’s all I’m certain of right now. Everything else is chaos, but not you. I’m meant to be with you, that’s the only thing I know for sure.”

  I swallow hard, his eyes are boring into mine, and there’s no trace of the cocky football god looking down at me. This guy is vulnerable, exposed in a way I’ve never seen him before, so open, so raw.

  My trembling hand cups his cheek, “Carter,” I pause, at first I think to warn him against hurting me, but he won’t, I can see it in his eyes. Pressing my forehead to his, I breathe him in, his crisp peppermint scent calming my out of control nerves, “I’m yours,” I whisper.

  He sighs in relief, squeezing me tighter, “You’re mine,” he affirms, “All mine.”

  I can feel his heart pounding against my chest, he’s still on edge. “What is it? Talk to me,” I urge.

  Instead of answering me, he leads me to the chairs under the fig tree, then goes in search of the battery
pack for the twinkling lights, switching them on, and returns to the chairs. He sits in one, then tugs me down into his lap, my back to his chest as he begins to stroke the small sliver of bare skin at my waist.

  I relax back into him, curling one of my arms back around his neck, tickling it and the hair at the base of his skull. He sighs in contentment, then he speaks, “My father wants me to play football, go pro. But I don’t. I never have, and he knows it. But it doesn’t matter what I want. It never has. And until now, I’ve been the model son, doing what was expected of me in almost everything. But I can’t do it anymore,” he says quietly.

  “What do you want?” I ask, keeping my voice quiet, like his.

  His hand flattens on my stomach, and his warmth seeps into me, “To fight,” he says simply.

  I pause, thinking before I speak, “I don’t know what that’s like, my parents support me in my choices, they have never forced their will on me. I can’t imagine what you must be going through. All I can do is tell you what my Papa told me, he said ‘When making any decision, no matter how big or small, consider the consequences. You can never undo what has been done. So, you need to be able to live with the outcome. Because in the end that’s what defines you. We are the sum of our actions.’”

  Carter is quiet for a few minutes, “Your old man sounds like he knows a thing or two,” he murmurs against my cheek.

  I nod, “He does, he’s the best man I know, apart from my brother.”

  Carter and I spoke for hours. He told me all about MMA. What drew him to the sport and why he loves it so much. I get it now, I really do, but I’m not sure it’s the best way for him to deal with his issues.

  I didn’t say that to him though, it’s his coping mechanism at the moment, and until I think of a better alternative to offer as a suggestion, I’ll keep my mouth shut.

  One thing that did stand out to me, is how much he loves his sister, Bella. As he talked about her, an idea began to form in the back of my mind. I just have to convince Carter to let me meet her. He’s fiercely protective of her, and from what I’ve gathered, he doesn’t let many people near her.

  After Carter dropped me home the idea grew and blossomed into something amazing. And even without having met Bella yet, I knew she’d be the perfect model for it. I scribbled down some notes on what I’d like to create, and did a quick sketch, before the need for sleep finally won out.

  I had all weekend to fine tune my plan. I even managed to convince Papa to pose for me so I could adjust the settings on my camera until I found the right ones for the look I’m trying to achieve. He looked ridiculous, but he didn’t complain, not once. Even when I had him doing pirouettes in the lounge room.

  My dad is one of my biggest supporters, he’s always going out of his way to help with anything I need. And he doesn’t question it when I ask him to do odd stuff, like remove the insides of a lightbulb or, like this past weekend, when I told him I needed him to strike ballerina-like poses.

  I think it’s part of the reason we’re so close, he’s always been there for me. The fact that I didn’t come along until he was already in his forties didn’t stop him from keeping up with my vivid imagination growing up.

  When Carter told me about his strained relationship with, not just his father, but both his parents, I couldn’t even imagine it. I still can’t. But then again, my brother doesn’t have the same relationship with Papa as I do. Ever since I can remember, there’s been something off about the way they interact with each other.

  It makes me feel like I’m missing something. Like they’re keeping things from me. And I hate it. But whenever I ask Papa about it, he closes his eyes and shakes his head. But he never answers me, and a sadness comes over him that remains for days after. I stopped asking a couple of years ago, not being able to bring myself to put him through whatever it is that takes him when I bring it up.

  I didn’t see Carter for more than ten minutes on Monday, so I didn’t ask him about meeting his sister. But today, I’ve got him all to myself during class, and I plan to use my time wisely.

  The morning drags, and at lunch I see him with his friends, but don’t go over to them. I really don’t like those guys. They’re a bunch of tossers who think they’re better than everyone else because they play football and have muscles. They’re the definition of meatheads.

  Carter tilts his chin in my direction and I give him a little finger wave before turning my attention back to my laptop.

  Checking the time, I decide I may as well get going, so I close my laptop and slide it into my satchel, then get to my feet. Carter has branched off from his friends and comes up beside me, throwing his arm around my shoulder as we make our way to the building housing our class.

  Carter drops a kiss on my temple as we walk, “Hey, beautiful, what were you working on so intently out there?”

  I shrug, “Just messing with some ideas for a project.”

  He nods beside me, “Were you looking up nudes of me? You know all you have to do is ask and I’ll let you take a bunch for your own personal use.”

  Rolling my eyes, I elbow him in the ribs, “No, you perv.”

  Carter chuckles, then his hot breath is tickling my ear, “You love my pervy-ness, and my kisses,” his lips graze the shell of my ear and I shiver, “And you especially love my spectacular arse.”

  Fanning myself with my hand, I gush, “You know it, stud.” I flutter my lashes at him and he smirks. I sit in my regular spot in the back of the class room, and Carter takes Scout’s chair like he’s done since that first day.

  Once the class is underway, I broach the topic I’d been thinking about all weekend, “So, I was wondering,” I say, and Carter tilts his chin to me, “Can I meet your sister?”

  I freeze, Chance wants to meet Bella.

  It’s been years since I introduced anyone to her. And that was Mase. I know Chance wouldn’t do or say anything to upset Bells, but it still feels strange even considering her request.

  I swallow past the lump of apprehension clogging my throat, “Umm, yeah, I guess that would be okay.”

  Chance eyes me, “If you don’t feel comfortable enough to introduce me to her yet, I can wait, Carter. It’s okay.”

  Shaking my head, I tell her, “No, it’s okay. Just give me a minute to get used to the idea. I know Bells would love to meet you.”

  She smiles wide, “Awesome! I’m so excited. There’s actually something I’d like to do with her, if it’s okay with you. And her, of course.”

  My chest tightens, “Something like what?”

  Her smile doesn’t falter, “I’d like her to model for me,” noticing the expression on my face, Chance rushes to explain, “Let me show you the kind of shoot I have planned for her before you decide. I worked on it all weekend. I swear she will love it.”

  I know Bells would love doing something like that, but the fact is other people don’t see her the way I do. They will see a girl with Down Syndrome and laugh, or wonder why the photographer chose to use her for the pictures instead of a normal girl.

  People are cruel, and I refuse to let Bella get hurt. But Chance wouldn’t do it if she thought it could hurt Bells, I know she wouldn’t. I have to close my eyes and calm myself before I can respond.

  Chance’s hand curls around my tense neck, and she begins running her fingers through the hair at the base of my skull. “Just let me show you what I’d like to do with her, then you can decide,” she murmurs softly, and I nod.

  I’ve never met a chick’s parents before, so when Chance drags me inside her house after class and I see her parents sitting on recliners in the lounge room, I halt. I can face down a guy twice my size in the ring, or even on the field, but meeting the people who created this incredible girl beside me terrifies the absolute fuck out of me.

  I drop Chance’s hand immediately and slide my hands into my pockets, “Good afternoon Mr. and Mrs. Haynes,” I say, almost robotically.

  Chance elbows me in the ribs and gives me a weird look before turning
her attention back to her parents, “Mumma, Papa, this is Carter,” she says, while gesturing over her shoulder with her thumb to me, “He’s my super hot boyfriend with a spectacular arse.”

  I choke on the air I’m breathing, coughing and trying not to laugh.

  Then I hear a voice similar to Chance’s, but older, more sophisticated, say, “Well, turn around then, show us the goods.”

  My wide eyes meet Chance’s mirthful ones, panicked.

  Then her dad speaks up, saving me, “The only ogling you’ll be doing is of me, thank you very much. Leave the lad alone.” I foolishly think I’ve dodged a bullet when he follows up with, “What are your intentions with my daughter?”

  Again, I turn to Chance for direction but she just grins. Traitor. Slowly turning to her father, I clear my throat, “I have the utmost respect for your daughter, sir, and I intend to hold on to her for as long as I possibly can.”

  He looks me up and down with a speculative eye, “Alright, well you just make sure you treat her with that respect, otherwise you’ll be answering to me, her brother and her nephew.”

  I nod, “Yes, sir.”

  “Okay, well enough of the awkward stuff for now. I need to show Carter what I was working on over the weekend,” Chance announces, then faces me again, takes my hand and resumes dragging me through the house. But not before I catch a glimpse of her dad’s cheeks turning beet red at the mention of her weekend activities.

  When we reach what I assume is her room, she shoves me inside then directs me to sit on the quilt. She gathers her laptop and a notebook then sits down beside me, her legs crossed, and opens her laptop.

  She doesn’t say anything until a picture comes up on the screen, and I narrow my eyes on it, “Is that your dad?”

  She chuckles, “Yeah, I had to fiddle with the settings on my camera to get it right, he was my temporary model.”

  “Okay,” I breathe, my dad would never do anything like that. Put himself in an embarrassing position to help out his kid, no freaking way.