Moments of Clarity (Moments Series Book 2)

by J B Heller

  “These aren’t the exact set ups I’d like to use for Bella, but similar. See how I’ve used the flower and manipulated the light and angles to make it look like a skirt?”

  I nod and shift, placing one arm behind Chance and leaning into her to see the screen better as she flicks through a couple of other images in the same style.

  She licks her lips and turns her face to mine, “I know you’re worried about how the outside world sees her. How your parents see her. And I want to do this for her, to show how beautiful and unique she is. How extraordinary she can be if given the chance. I want everyone to see her the way you do.”

  My throat is clogged with emotion. After seeing what she wants to do, how passionate she is about doing this for Bella, I can’t say no. And I don’t want to. Leaning into her, I take the computer out of her hands and place it gently on the floor, “Girl, I’m falling so hard, so fast, I don’t know what to do with all these things you’re stirring in me.”

  Shuffling back up her bed, Chance unfolds her legs, bringing them either side of my hips and I follow her movements with my own body, pausing a hairs width from her mesmerizing lips, “I meant what I said earlier, I’m going to hold onto you for as long as I can. For as long as you’ll let me. I don’t ever want to let you go.”

  Her answering smile is the only confirmation I need that she feels it too, and I kiss her hard. My lips meeting hers with punishing force, sliding my tongue against hers, tasting her. Pouring all my feelings and need into that one kiss.

  Chance begins grinding up into me and I have to grit my teeth to stop myself from sliding my hand under the floral sundress she’s wearing. I want so badly to feel her wetness coating my fingers, coating my cock.

  I’ve never spent this much time with a chick without fucking her. But I want to make sure Chance knows that I’m completely serious about wanting more than sex from her. So, I hold myself back.

  She moans into my mouth softly, “Carter,” she groans, “Why aren’t you touching me? Touch me, please” she begs.

  Jesus, Fuck. She’s making it hard to behave. Before I can answer her, her hips push up into mine again, grinding her pelvis against my erection. “Fucckkkk,” I growl into her mouth.

  I lift my body up off of hers, putting some space between us. Her dress has slid up to her waist, and when I look down I’m met with simple black underwear with lace around the edges, and oh my fuck, a damp patch right at her centre.

  My dick pulses and I swear a bead of pre-come seeps from my tip. I want her so bad.

  Launching myself off the bed, I plaster my back against the closed door, as far from her tempting little body as I can get without actually running away from her.

  Her eyes follow my retreat with amusement, “What are you doing?”

  I push my dick down, trying to relieve some of the pressure. Chance’s eyes follow the movement, and goddamn it, she licks her lips. My head drops back against the door with a loud thud and I close my eyes. I can’t handle looking at her right now. Not with my balls pulled so tight a gentle breeze could make me blow.

  “What the f—” I almost shriek when I feel my belt loosening and my zipper slide down against my sensitive skin.

  “Shhh,” Chance whispers from her knees in front of me.

  My eyes widen, “You don’t have to d—” but her hot little mouth is on my cock already, and I couldn’t stop her if my life depended on it.

  Chance licks at my tip, moaning as she sucks it into her mouth like a fucking lollipop. My hands drop to her head, fisting in her dark locks. One of her small hands curls around my base, as she begins to pump in time with her slow deep sucking.

  I want to drop my head back again but I can’t. Her big eyes are looking up at me, taking me in, watching my reactions to her ministrations. Then, right before my eyes, her free hand slides under the hem of her dress and my eyes just about leave their sockets. She’s rubbing herself while sucking me off.

  Her eyes close, and I squeeze my fist in her hair tighter, “Look at me when you come,” I demand as quietly as possible, fully aware her parents are in the house somewhere.

  She obeys, and begins sucking me harder, her hand under her dress moves faster, and my knees weaken. When she starts to come her mouth jolts on my cock, making it hit the back of her throat, and I come with her. Chance swallows me down, never looking away from my face.

  When she finally releases my softening dick, I slide down the door, to the floor in front of her, dragging her into my lap, “That was,” I pant, struggling to regain my breath, “better than good. Fucking amazing. You are fucking amazing,” I tell her, as I trail kisses across her temple.

  The days start to blend into each other, and before I know it, there are just three weeks left until graduation.

  Carter has stopped attending football practices, but he attends all the games, even though he pretty much benched himself. He says he goes to support the other players, and I think that’s very cool of him.

  I’m meeting Bella tomorrow, I’m so excited. If it all goes well, I’ll ask her if she will model for me. Then, with any luck, I can show her the kind of photos I’d like to take. Carter has told her about me, and from what he says, she’s just as excited as I am.

  It’s Friday afternoon, my last class has just finished, and I’m waiting by Carter’s car. He’s going to take me to watch him at the gym he works out at almost daily. He wants me to see what he does in there every day and to meet his trainer Trick. Apparently, he’s a machine, and the best around. I’m still not sure how I feel about the sport. It’s so violent.

  I’ve never been exposed to that kind of violence, my parents never even smacked my butt growing up. Papa was so dead against any form of violence that he didn’t even let me watch movies that had so much as a mention of it. The only times I got to watch movies that had any action in them was when I’d go over Hux’s place. And I still cringe when I see fists coming into contact with flesh.

  I’m not sure how I’m going to handle watching Carter fight. Seeing him hit someone, or worse, seeing him get hit. Just the thought is enough to make my stomach curdle. But I know why he does it. And that makes it a little easier for me to accept.

  “There’s My Girl,” Carter says as he nears me, wrapping his arms around my waist, then planting a kiss on my lips.

  I flick my eyes up to his, “Hey there,” I grin. I can’t help the smile that fills my face whenever he’s around.

  His eyes roam over my body as they always do, checking out my outfit of the day, “I like it,” he says.

  I chuckle, “You always do,” I say with a roll of my eyes.

  Once in the car, Carter takes a moment to think, “I wasn’t a huge fan of the floral sundress with the mustard cardigan.”

  Turning to face him I raise a brow, “Oh really?”

  His cheeks redden slightly, “I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy seeing you in it or that I didn’t fucking love what you did to me while you were wearing it. I just didn’t enjoy others seeing you in it.” His palm comes to rest on my thigh, his fingers digging in slightly, “These are mine,” he says possessively. Then he grins again, “Besides, it was more the cardigan I didn’t like. Who wears mustard anyway?”

  I throw my head back and laugh, “I do, obviously.”

  He shrugs and turns the key in the ignition, “Whatever, I was just making a point, I don’t like every single thing you wear,” he says, as he navigates us out of the parking lot.

  A few minutes later I ask him, “Is this okay to wear to a MMA gym? Maybe I should get changed?” I say, looking down at my Avengers skater dress with Hulk green leggings underneath.

  Carter side eyes me, “You are not getting changed. I want the guys to meet my one of a kind, sexy little nerd.”

  Again, I can’t stop the smile that lifts my cheeks, “Okay,” I murmur. I’m, all of a sudden, nervous about meeting his trainer, and the other guys he hangs out with at the gym. I know he respects these people, and I don’t want to make a dick of m
yself, as I’m usually prone to doing.

  I start chewing on the corner of my nail when Carter reaches over, taking my hand away from my mouth, “Don’t worry, they’ll love you. Trust me.”

  I snort, “Yeah, cause the first time we officially met went so well,” I look out my window, pushing my glasses up my nose, I don’t like feeling like this. Being socially awkward is normally not something I have an issue with, but when it means embarrassing Carter in front of people he looks up to, yeah, I have an issue with it right now.

  Carter squeezes the hand he’s still holding, and I realise he’s parked the car in the parking lot of a big creepy warehouse. Then I see Mase’s car parked beside us, and internally sigh with the tiny bit of relief I feel knowing a familiar face will be in there.

  “If you really don’t want to be here, I’ll get Mase to drop you home. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, baby,” he says softly.

  I immediately feel bad. He wants to share this with me, it’s important to him, and he’s sat looking at photos for hours on end with me. I can do this, for him I can do this. I swallow down my hesitation and smile at him, “I’m good, let’s go.”

  Half an hour later I’m white as a ghost, holy shit. Nothing I watched on YouTube prepared me for how I would feel seeing Carter in that ring. Blood seeps from his left brow, but he’s still smiling, albeit awkwardly because of his mouth guard.

  He doesn’t look like my Carter right now.

  I don’t recognise the man in the ring with a crazed smile and a bloodthirsty gleam in his eyes. Bile rises in my throat. My hand flies to my mouth, and I jump to my feet, fleeing the gym.

  When I’m in the ring nothing else matters. My anger and frustration fuel me, pushing me harder, faster. Unleashing the beast inside feels incredible, and I become unstoppable.

  Normally we don’t hit it this hard, but seeing as it’s a Friday night and I have a match coming up right after graduation, Trick decided we needed to take it up a notch. I have the weekend to recover from any busted lips or split brows.

  “Alright, I’m calling it a night,” Trick calls from his place ringside.

  I nod, tap gloves with my sparring partner, then turn my attention to searching out my girl. But I can’t see her, anywhere. I spit out my mouth guard while Trick undoes my gloves, “Where’d Chance and Mase go?” I ask him.

  Trick frowns, “You set on that girl?” he asks.

  I eye him, he doesn’t normally get personal, “Yeah, why?”

  He shakes his head, “You’re going to have to cut her loose, Carter. This life isn’t for her.”

  Fury fills my veins, “What the fuck are you talking about? You don’t even know her.”

  Trick shrugs, “I know her type.”

  I can’t contain the rage leeching into every part of my system, “Fuck you,” I spit, “You don’t know shit, Trick.” My fists clench so hard, my knuckles turn white, and my pulse races in my head, thumping loudly between my temples.

  “She ran out of here looking like she was about to throw her guts up. Mase went after her,” Trick says calmly, but then he steps up into my personal space, “And you better remember who the fuck you’re talking to, Carter. You might like that girl, but she is not your future. This is. Get your head on straight or I’m pulling you from this fight.”

  I don’t hear much after he says she ran out. Fuck. FUCK! I turn away from Trick and slam my fist into the brick wall, “Motherfucker!” I roar, as I embrace the pain spreading through my knuckles, splintering up my arm.

  “You fucking idiot!” Trick yells, yanking my hand to him so he can examine it, “You’re lucky you didn’t just break it, you moron. Get out of here, Carter. Shower and go home. Get your shit together, I don’t want to see you until you do.” Then Trick storms away from me.

  All I want to do is go after her. But Trick is right about one thing, I need to shower.

  I wash myself in record time. Tugging on a set of clean clothes, I stuff my sweaty ones in my duffle and run out to my car, noticing that Mase’s car is already gone. My fist clenches again, needing to hit something, but it’s still tender from the wall, so I squeeze my eyes shut and count back from ten.

  It calms me some, enough to get in my car and drive to Chance’s place.

  When I arrive, the house is dark. I knock on the door, but am met with silence. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I call Chance, and it goes straight to her voicemail. I hit Mase’s name, relief filling me when I hear his voice, “Where is she?” I demand.

  “The hospital,” Mase says, and everything goes eerily still.

  “What? Why?” Silence, “MASE! Why the fuck is she at the hospital?” I yell into my phone, my free hand squeezing the back of my tense neck.

  I hear him clear his throat, “Her dad, he had a heart attack. He, he didn’t make it Carter, he’s dead.”

  Oh fuck, no. “No, no, no,” I chant, “Fuck, I’m coming,” I tell him.

  “I’ll wait with her,” Mase says, then the call ends and I’m already sliding in behind the wheel of my car, speeding to the local hospital.

  I take the first parking spot I see, jump out of my car and run inside. I scan the seating area in the emergency section but don’t see them. The nurse at the desk calls out to me, “Are you okay?”

  Shaking my head, I answer her, “No, my girlfriend’s father, he had a heart attack.”

  Her expression saddens instantly, “I’m sorry, but as you’re not immediate family, I can’t let you through.”

  Is she fucking serious right now? I glare at her, “Excuse me?”

  She licks her lips and glances around nervously, “I’m sorry, it’s hospital policy.”

  I blink slowly, trying to clear the red haze beginning to cloud my vision, “My girlfriend is back there, she needs me!” I yell at the nurse, then start for the double swinging doors that lead to the patient area.

  She rushes after me, “Sir, you can’t go back there!” she calls.

  My fists clench when I push on the doors but they don’t budge, my knuckles are white and I turn my furious eyes on the nurse again, “Open the goddamn doors!” I boom.

  “Please calm down,” she says as she backs away from me.

  My pulse is thrumming in my ears, I need to find Chance. I look around the room, searching for another entry point, panic filling my veins the longer it takes for me to reach her. She ran out on me tonight, and now she needs me.

  I grit my teeth and lock my jaw, trying as best I can to control my temper. Normally, the only time I let it loose is in the ring, but I’m struggling right now.

  The doors swing open at my back and big arms engulf me from behind, “Dude, calm the fuck down,” Mase hisses in my ear, “I could hear you from the other side of those doors.”

  A small amount of relief washes over me, but not enough for me to relax. The nurse is back behind the desk now, a phone to her ear and her eyes fixed on my every move. I swallow hard, then close my eyes, counting back from ten inside my head.

  When I open my eyes again she’s no longer on the phone, but a burly guy stands beside her now, watching me as closely as she was moments ago. I shake Mase off me and turn to face him, “Where is she? Is she okay?”

  He’s pale, and the generally jovial aurora that surrounds him has vanished, “She’s with her family, and she’s pretty messed up man.”

  I nod, she was close to her dad, I can’t imagine I’d be too devastated if anything happened to my father, but Chance loved hers. Knowing that she’s hurting and that I’m not there holding her right now is killing me.

  My fingers knot in my hair, “I need to see her,” I tell Mase.

  He nods in response, “Let me talk to the nurse,” he says, then he’s striding over to the reception counter leaning down and chatting to the nurse. It looks like they’re discussing the weather but the flirtatious grin he’s throwing her tells me he’s working his magic on her, and I don’t really care what he does as long as it gets me back there.

  The nur
se reaches over and presses a button, causing a loud buzzing, followed by a click to come from the double doors. Mase returns to my side, then pushes the door open and leads me through.

  I follow him silently as he walks down the corridor toward a waiting room, my feet feel like concrete blocks as I make my way to her. Crouching down in front of her, I touch her cold arm, “Baby,” I whisper, “I’m so sorry.”

  Her chest heaves with sobs, her eyes are swollen slits when she turns to me. I hold my arms out for her and she launches into them, knocking me back so my arse hits the ground. But I don’t let her go. I shuffle back against the wall, leaning on it, holding her tightly as she struggles to breathe. “Shhh,” I coo, stroking her back gently, trying to soothe her the only way I think of.

  “H-how can he b-be g-g-gone?” Chance stutters against my tear soaked neck, “It’s n-not fair. I, I didn’t g-get to s-ay goo-goodbye,” she hiccups.

  My throat is too thick to form words, not that I would know what to say. I’ve never been in this situation before and have no goddamn idea how to comfort her. So, I remain silent, but present, stroking her hair away from her tear stained cheeks and pressing kisses to her temple.

  I feel Mase approach then he slides down the wall to sit by my side. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t have to. I’ll be forever grateful that he was there for her when I wasn’t. I want to ask him what happened, but now is not the time. Chance is a quivering mess in my arms and as I look around the room, I finally notice her mother, Vivian. She must be in shock, because she’s just staring at the wall with absolutely no expression at all.

  Then there’s Kassidy, Chance’s nephew. And I assume the other couple are her brother Hux and his wife, Eliza. They look sad, but not destroyed like Chance. Which makes me think back to Chance telling me that her father and brother had a strained relationship.

  I examine her brother closer, his eyes shine with emotion, but I can’t put my finger on what it is exactly. He seems remote, distant even, like he’s lost in his mind. The only thing connecting him to this moment is his hand, tightly gripping Vivian’s. Then, right before my eyes, a single tear slides down his cheek making me feel like an intruder on his private moment and I have to look away.