Saving All My Lovin'

by Donna Hill

  He tossed his house keys on top of the dresser. He shouldn’t have barked at Chauncey that way. It wasn’t his fault that Barbara had screwed him over for a second time.

  Engaged! Every time he thought about it and thought about how they felt so right together he wanted to hit something—hard. How could she do something like that? What kind of woman had she turned out to be? Or maybe she hadn’t turned out any different from the girl he knew in college. He snorted in disgust. He’d been a fool for her back then and he was still a fool.

  He heard the front doorbell ring. Probably one of Chauncey’s friends. Good that would keep him out of his hair for a few hours. He took off his shirt and tossed it on the bed. Maybe an ice-cold beer and a hot shower would make him feel halfway human again. He walked into the master bath adjoining his room, thankful for that bit of privacy. Just as he was about to turn on the shower he heard a knock on his door.

  “Be back here before eleven. It’s a school night,” he shouted.

  Chauncey cracked the door open. “Dad. Someone’s here to see you.”

  Wil turned, his expression still tight. “Who?”

  “The lady from the spa. Ms. Allen,” he said in a hushed tone.

  Wil blinked. “What?”

  “The lady from the spa. She said she wants to talk to you.”

  “Tell her I’ve canceled my membership.”

  “What did you go and do that for?”

  “Tell her what I said!”

  Chauncey huffed and walked away. Several moments later he was back. “She said she’s not leaving until you speak to her. Is something going on with you two?”

  Wil stalked over to his bed, snatched up his shirt and put it on. He wagged a warning finger. “That’s none of your business.” He came to the door and pushed passed his son. “Go find something to do in your room for a few minutes, will ya?”

  Chauncey grinned. “Sure, Dad.”

  Wil walked into the kitchen. Barbara had her back to him.

  “What are you doing here?”

  She swung toward him, something akin to fear in her eyes. “I wanted to talk to you, Wil.” She twisted her hands in front of her.

  “What do you want to tell me this time? Oh, that’s right, you don’t generally tell me anything—shit just happens.” He crossed the room, snatched open the fridge and took out a beer. He didn’t offer her one.

  “You have every right to be angry,” she began.

  He glared at her. “Ya think?”

  Barbara flinched but was determined to do what she’d come there to do. “I’m sorry. About everything, not just the other day.”

  “Yeah, me too, Barbara.” He looked into her eyes and for a moment his heart softened when he saw the pleading in hers. “Have a seat,” he said grudgingly.

  Tentatively she sat down, thankful to get off her trembling legs. She folded her hands on top of the table to keep them from shaking. “There’s so much you need to know.”

  He took a long swallow of his beer but didn’t respond.

  “Back when we were in college…”

  She told him about finding out that she was pregnant, her fear, her joy mixed with sadness and what it would ultimately do to his life.

  “I was so confused. I didn’t know where to turn.”

  He was trying to process the information. Barbara had been pregnant with his child? Emotions that he couldn’t give a name to ran rampant through his insides. He looked into her eyes. “You could have turned to me.”

  She shook her head. “I know what you would have said, and I would have agreed and any chance you had to play professional ball would have been over. I couldn’t do that to you.”

  “So you killed our child instead.” Fury burned his gut.

  “No!” she cried. “No. I didn’t.”

  He frowned in confusion. “Then what happened?”

  She told him of her trip to New York, of her clinic visit and ultimately her decision to keep their child, and then the miscarriage.

  Wil squeezed his eyes shut as he imagined the woman he loved alone and terrified. His hand stretched across the table, bridging the great divide that had separated them for so long.

  Barbara took his hand and finished her story, including the painful visit at the hospital by her mother.

  “I don’t know what to say,” Wil murmured.

  Barbara inhaled deeply. “About the other day…”

  Wil’s features tightened. He looked away then slowly got up from the table, turning his back to her.

  “I wasn’t thinking,” she started. “The only thing that was clear to me was that you were back in my life and that even after everything, even after convincing myself that I could marry again, all I knew at that moment was that I was still in love with you. That I’d never stopped loving you.”

  Tentatively he turned around and when he looked at her all the years peeled away. He couldn’t speak. How many years had he longed to hear those words? How many pointless relationships had he gone through hoping to recapture what they’d once shared together?

  “Well…that’s all I came to say.” She took up her purse from the table and stood up. “Maybe one day you can forgive me.” She started for the door, opened it and walked out.

  Wil collapsed into the chair, staring at the closed door. It was all too much to process. Did she think that simply confessing her undying love would somehow magically erase all the pain he’d lived with for so long? If only life was that simple.

  “Dad?” Chauncey eased into the room.

  Wil kept his back to him, unwilling to let his son see the tears in his eyes. He sniffed and headed for the fridge. He took out another beer, while pulling himself together.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Fine.”

  Chauncey watched his father’s stiff back before returning to his room.

  “Everything is just fine,” he murmured and took a slow swallow of his beer.

  Chapter 23

  Ann Marie checked her two suitcases at the ticket counter then looked around the terminal for the departure gate. She had yet to spot Terrance who’d said he’d meet her.

  More than once she’d considered changing her mind, especially after the way Sterling reacted. Her doubts had grown so worrisome that she’d actually called Stephanie to talk it over. Stephanie told her to do what was in her heart and if she and Sterling were meant to be, he’d be waiting when she returned. Ann Marie agreed. She needed to hear it from someone else. This was the only way. If there was any chance for her to make a life with Sterling she must get her freedom and put Terrance behind her once and for all. When she returned a free woman, she’d find a way to make it all up to Sterling.

  She followed the long line of travelers toward the security gates and passed through without incident. She adjusted her oversize bag on her shoulder and headed for her departure gate. She looked around for an empty seat and found one near the window. She set her bag down at her feet and settled back to wait. There was at least another half hour before boarding. She pulled out a magazine from her bag.

  “Here you are.”

  Ann Marie’s pulse quickened. She looked up. Terrance took a seat next to her. “I wasn’t sure if you would come.”

  “I told you I would. I want my divorce.”

  He merely smiled. “I always wondered how you could have stayed away from home for so long.”

  “No reason to return.”

  “Was it that bad, Mari?”

  She flipped open the magazine and tried to concentrate on the words, ignoring his question.

  “This can be a pleasant trip, if you let it.”

  She snatched a look at him then turned back to her magazine.

  Shortly after, the flight was announced and much to Ann Marie’s dismay, she was seated next to Terrance for the entire trip.

  He tried to make small talk at first until she feigned exhaustion and shut her eyes. But that didn’t stop her heart from racing like crazy with the thought of him next to her, so
close for so many hours. She forced her mind to drift—any place but on thoughts of Terrance. But the mind is a funny animal. The smooth motion of the plane, the days of tension finally took its toll and she was slowly lulled into the cocoon of sleep.

  She was an innocent teen, slender with hair down to the middle of her back. She was frolicking along the beach, darting in and out of the waves. She was to be married the following afternoon to a man she loved with all her heart. Terrance Bishop was handsome, wealthy and she knew many women in her Parrish wished they were in her shoes.

  Her story was one from a fairytale. A Cinderella tale. She’d come to the Bishop household practically a servant and ended up engaged to one of the most eligible bachelors in all of Jamaica.

  Terrance, at first, was a total gentleman, keeping his distance, speaking to her casually when he ran into her in the house or out on the grounds. Every time she saw him, her stomach and her heart would do funny things inside of her. She tried to keep her mind off him by working hard and swimming. One of her little secrets was a little cove that she’d discovered while walking along the grounds of the Bishop household. It was tucked away near the shore but out of sight of the main house.

  One afternoon, she emerged from a swim exhilarated, dripping wet and in search of her towel. She was certain she’d left it on top of the small rock formation. Her clothes were gone, too.

  “Looking for these?”

  She spun toward the voice, crisscrossing her arms over her body to shield her nakedness. She wanted to die.

  “I was strolling along and saw the clothes.” He stepped closer. “I couldn’t imagine who would have left their clothes out here.”

  She felt paralyzed.

  “You’re much too beautiful to cover yourself up.” He walked right to her. Only the bundle of clothes separated them. First he pushed aside the wet locks of hair plastered to the sides of her face. Then he removed her hands from her body one by one. He stepped back. His dark eyes burned up and down her flesh, seeming to make the water sizzle on her skin.

  He gave her the clothing and without another word turned and walked away.

  She was mortified. How would she ever be able to go back to work in the Bishop household after Terrance had seen her naked? What was she going to do? Her mother would never let her return home.

  But she didn’t have to worry about it. By the time she reached the main house, Terrance was sitting out on the porch, drinking an ice-cold glass of mauby. He smiled as she approached.

  “No reason to hang your head.”

  She dared to look up at him as she took the first step.

  “Why don’t you join me?” He extended his hand toward the empty seat on the opposite side of the white wood table.

  Ann Marie looked around in a panic. How would it look if she were seen lounging on the front porch with the man of the house?

  “Don’t worry,” he’d said, as if reading her mind. “No one would dare say a word.” Tentatively she sat down.

  Terrance poured her a glass of mauby and then began talking with her as if they were old friends. Before she knew it the sun had begun to set over the ocean.

  “Be ready tomorrow evening around eight. I want to take you sailing. Wear something pretty.”

  And that’s how it began. From that day forward she was Terrance’s woman and less than a year later they were married.

  A series of bumps rocked her from sleep. She blinked then jerked up, realizing not only had they landed but she’d fallen asleep on Terrance’s shoulder with his arm wrapped around her.

  “You were resting so comfortably I didn’t want to disturb you. Thought I’d let you rest until we arrived.” He grinned at her. “You still snore in your sleep.”

  She made a face. “Do not.”

  “That’s what you always say.” He unfastened his seatbelt.

  The familiarity that ebbed and flowed between them was unnerving. The sooner they got this farce over with, the happier she would be. And why in hell did it have to feel so right waking up in his arms?

  They disembarked from the plane and wound their way around the throngs of tourists and native islanders. The instant she stepped out into the brilliant sunshine and inhaled the salty sweet air, a pang of longing went off inside her. She didn’t realize how much she missed home until that moment. The sky was a brilliant blue, palms swayed in the sea-drunk breeze, the familiar rapid-fire tongues of the native Jamaicans rang like music in her ears. The streets teamed with vendors and shoppers and cars drove on the left side of the street.

  Home. It felt so good to be back she wanted to cry with joy, but she wouldn’t give Terrance the satisfaction.

  A limo driver approached and took Terrance’s bag and then Ann Marie’s. “Good trip, sir?”

  “Great, Marshall. Mrs. Bishop has two more suitcases.”

  Marshall bowed. “Good to see you again, Mrs. Bishop.” He smiled in recognition.

  Ann Marie was so surprised at seeing Marshall again she was momentarily at a loss for words. Being called Mrs. Bishop twice in matter of seconds didn’t help. Finally she found her voice. “Good to see you too, Marshall.”

  Terrance strode toward the waiting car, holding tight to Ann Marie’s hand.

  “I’m not going to run off, Terrance. You don’t have to latch on to me.”

  He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “I don’t want to take any chances.”

  Marshall hurried forward and opened the doors. Terrance helped Ann Marie inside.

  “Is it what you remember?” he asked as they drove from the airport, through the main part of town then out to the country.

  Ann Marie had been staring out of the window for most of the trip, her nose pressed against the glass, like a small child watching their first snowfall.

  “Yes,” she answered wistfully. “It does. A lot more building going on since I’ve left.”

  “Yes, we do try to keep up with the rest of the world,” he joked.

  The car slowed to a halt and Ann Marie’s heart caught in her throat. They were in front of the Bishop estate, the very place where she’d fallen in love with him, became his wife, the lady of the house, slept with him, bore his child. The house she’d loved and left behind.

  Marshall was standing there with the door open. She couldn’t move.

  “Mrs.?”

  Ann Marie blinked. “Oh, I’m sorry.” She accepted his hand and alighted from the car. Terrance stepped out behind her.

  He leaned down near her ear. “Welcome home, Mari.”

  A shudder shimmied through her. She turned, looked up at him. “I’d rather stay in a hotel.”

  He pressed his palm against the small of her back. Heat scorched the spot. “Don’t be silly. This house is big enough for both of us.” He guided her inside.

  As she crossed the threshold, she thoroughly doubted that statement.

  Marshall led her up the stairs. “All of the guest rooms are available. You have your pick.”

  “Where is everyone?”

  He reached the top of the landing and turned toward her. His expression registered concern. “You didn’t know?”

  “Know what?”

  “The senior Bishop’s are deceased. The Missus went first about eight years ago and then Mr. Bishop last year. The sisters, Celeste, Mavis and Eleanor all married and moved to England. They’ve never come back, not even for the funerals. Very sad. Just Mr. Bishop left here now.”

  Ann Marie didn’t know what to think. Terrance, here, alone in this rambling house with nothing to keep him company but the memory of a missing wife, dead parents and estranged sisters. It was hard to imagine. But she had a gut feeling he still kept his bed warm.

  “What about the other servants?”

  “Just me and cook. No need for a full staff. So, which room will it be?”

  She looked up and down the winding corridor. “I’ll take me old room,” she said, walking toward the familiar door.

  Marshall hurried in front of her and opened the
door. Ann Marie was immediately tossed back in time. The room was exactly as she remembered: the white area rug on the hardwood floors, the terrace that looked out onto the pounding waves, sheer white curtains that danced in the lazy afternoon breeze, bamboo seating with overstuffed white pillows. The entire room emitted a feeling of cool tranquility.

  She spun toward Marshall. “Yes, I’ll stay here.”

  He placed her bags in the room. “If you need anything…”

  “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

  He nodded and walked out, closing the door gently behind him.

  Ann Marie crossed the room and flung open the terrace doors. She walked out and leaned on the wooden balustrade. Her eyes languidly scanned the beauty that stretched as far as one could see. She drew in a long, cleansing breath, shutting her eyes as the air filled her lungs. Oh, how she missed home. Missed running along the beach, the hustle and bustle of the fish market, picking sugar cane and breaking open coconuts to suck out the milk, letting it dribble down her chin. And the mangos! Ahhh. She could almost taste the sticky sweetness.

  “I knew you would pick this room.”

  Ann Marie gasped in surprise and spun around. “Where ya manners? Never ‘eard of knockin’?”

  “You’re right. I should have knocked.” He stood beside her on the terrace. “I apologize.” He pressed his hand to his chest. Ann Marie rolled her eyes in response. “Lunch is on the patio out back. Will you join me?”

  She looked into his eyes and for an instant she saw a handsome, charming, sexy suitor, who had the uncanny power to dampen her panties with just a look and quicken her heart with a smile. Not the man she’d flown across time zones to divorce.

  “In a minute.”

  “Good. I’ll wait…downstairs.” He walked out.

  Ann Marie stood with her back pressed against the terrace railing. How was she going to get through the next two weeks…in the same house with that man?

  Chapter 24

  Barbara massaged Victoria’s hip in steady up and down strokes.

  “You just walked out of his house and he didn’t come after you?”