Between a Rock and a Hard Place

by Jenna Galicki

  Jessi and Angel were mute, waiting to hear exactly where each of them stood in his life. He thought they knew how much he loved them, but they probably needed him to clearly define how much they meant to him. He should have told them a long time ago.

  He went to Jessi first, only because she seemed to be the one who needed comfort the most. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her waist and she clenched the material of her top in her hands. If she let go, he had the feeling she’d lose the battle with the tears hanging in the corners of her eyes.

  He hated to see her unhappy. It stabbed him in the heart like an ice pick. His throat closed so tight that it was hard to speak above a whisper. “Jessi, we’ve been together for so long. I can’t live without you. You were the first woman I fell in love with – the first person I fell in love with. When I met you, I knew right away that you were the only woman for me. You’re the most generous, unselfish person I ever met. You’re beautiful and talented. I’m proud to call you my wife. I never trusted anyone as much as I trust you. You were the only person I could be myself around. You’re good to me. You have a heart of gold. You make me so happy and I love you so much. It’s because of you that I believe in myself. You’re my inspiration. You’re the music in my life. I want you to know how much I need you and how much I love you. I would do anything for you. Anything. All you have to do is ask.”

  He held her in his arms, and she latched onto him. Her voice was squeaky and shaky. “I love you, baby. I don’t want to fight. I just want us to be happy. The three of us. Together.”

  Angel’s arms surrounded them and huddled them together. His head was on Tommy’s shoulder and his damp cheek portrayed his emotion. Angel had a heart as big as the world. Most people only have one love of their life, but Tommy was blessed with two.

  “That was so beautiful, mi amor.” Angel’s spoke in a soft, slightly wavering whisper. “That’s why we both love you. You have so much love in your soul.”

  Tommy’s legs were slightly shaky, drained of their strength by emotional stress and turmoil. He didn’t know if he could withstand another outpouring from his heart, but Angel deserved to hear how much he was loved. Jessi knew how much Tommy loved her, even if she needed to hear it once in a while, but sometimes he thought Angel had no idea. “I love you just as much, Angel.”

  Angel popped his head up, anxious to hear more. His eyes were dark and intense, always filled with passion and fire.

  They still made Tommy’s heart lurch in his chest. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”

  Angel shook his head and Tommy chuckled under his breath. He wasn’t expecting an answer. It was quirky little things like that which made Angel so adorable. He broke their three-way embrace and cupped Angel’s face in his hands. “I love you, A. You don’t even know how sweet and sexy you are. You came into my life and turned it upside down in a crazy, passionate, jump off a speeding train kind of way. As soon as we met something went off in my head and in my heart. I knew that we’d end up together. Just like when I met Jessi. I didn’t know how it was going to work, but I knew we were all going to be together.”

  “I knew it, too. We were destined to be together.” He glanced at Jessi. “All three of us.”

  “You were the first man I ever loved, Angel. You’re the most romantic person I ever met and the sexiest man I ever laid eyes on. You’re generous and kind-hearted and patient. No one else would have waited for me the way you did. You were the missing link in my life. Without you there would be a hole in my heart that no one else could fill. You own the other half of my heart.” He moved his hand to the back of Angel’s neck while he cradled Jessi in his other arm. “The two of you hold my heart together. Without either of you, it would be in pieces.

  Angel’s lips drew back into a quivering smile. “My prince. You captured my heart the moment we met and you haven’t let go since. Every day I love you more.”

  “Angel, you call me your prince. You’re my king and Jessi, you’re my queen, and you both rule my heart.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  The bus pulled into Frankfurt shortly before midnight. It had been a rough couple of weeks for Jessi, probably the toughest she had ever endured, but things seemed back to normal. Once the album was finished and Tommy wasn’t forced to spend so much time away from her, their lives would be perfect again.

  She checked the group into the hotel, and Angel came up beside her. “This is a magnificent hotel.”

  She glanced around the lobby with its marble floor and intricate furnishing. “Honestly Angel, we could stay in a Motel 6. As long as we’re together, I’m happy.”

  Tommy put his arms around her waist. She leaned into him and turned for a kiss just as a burst of flashbulbs lit up the lobby. Someone must have tipped off the paparazzi about their arrival. Jessi shielded her eyes from the bright lights and waved at them.

  Security quickly stepped in and escorted the band to a waiting elevator while Jessi finished the check-in process. The paparazzi followed them, but one man, in a stylish charcoal gray Armani suit, stayed behind to take her photo. She periodically looked at the camera and smiled, wondering why the photographer found her so interesting.

  She took her room key and the paperwork and headed toward the elevator bank with the photographer in tow.

  “Mrs. Blade, I’d like to do an interview with you.”

  Since her unpleasant run-in with the paparazzi, she wasn’t in the habit of speaking with them anymore, even if she was intrigued by his crisp German accent.

  “I want to do an article showcasing how you built your career as a successful designer.”

  He wanted an interview about her life, not about the band. It was the first time the media was interested in her career and she stopped short with surprise. “You want to interview me about my career in fashion?”

  “Yes, yes. You’re living the American dream.”

  It was true, only sometimes when you realize your dreams, they don’t always hold the same rewards you anticipated. Her cell phone buzzed. Marissa was calling her, most likely about tomorrow’s schedule and to hand off a bunch of last minute details that needed to be tended to. “I’m sorry, I need to take this call,” she said as she put the phone to her ear.

  “Hi Marissa.”

  “I’m glad I caught you. You have to get back to the bus and tell the driver he can’t park in the lot in front of the hotel. He has to use the one in the back or he’ll get ticketed and Mr. Abelman warned me about violations on the tour bus. We already have two. I can’t let the driver get another summons or it’ll cost him his job.”

  “OK, I’ll take care of it.” She looked through the lobby windows and saw the bus still parked in front of the hotel. She wanted to speak to the journalist but she couldn’t shirk her responsibility to Falcon or let the driver get fired because she didn’t warn him about parking illegally. “I’ll be right back,” she told the journalist. “Please don’t leave. I want to talk to you. I just have to talk to the bus driver for five minutes.”

  She raced through the lobby as fast as her platform stilettos would allow. As soon as she stepped onto the sidewalk, she waved at the bus driver to get his attention before he pulled away. The double doors opened with a whoosh. She stepped into the bus and paused to catch her breath. After she told him the correct place to park, she made her way back into the lobby in search of the journalist, ready to give her first interview as Jessi Blade, fashion designer.

  She scanned the lobby with a sweep of her eyes. When she didn’t immediately see him, she searched the lounge, the elevator bank where she last saw him, then ventured into the bar in a last ditch effort to find him. But he was gone and so was the rush of adrenaline and the ego boost of notoriety in her own right. Her heart deflated and the exuberance drained from her body at the lost opportunity, all because of a fucking parking space.

  The bartender smiled at her. “Can I get you a drink? An Aperol Spritz perhaps? No charge.”

  She could use something a lot
stronger. “Make it a shot of tequila and I’ll pay for it.”

  He nodded his head and poured the shot.

  The alcohol burned as it made its descent into her belly. The lick of salt and squirt of lemon between her teeth counteracted its harshness and she asked for another. The second one was just as strong as the first, but it still didn’t do anything to make her forget the lost opportunity.

  The bartender wiped down the top of the bar. “Bad day?”

  “More like a bad couple of weeks.” She put down the shot glass and threw a bunch of Euros next to it.

  She headed for the elevator bank, but the bellman stopped her. “Mrs. Blade, a package came for you the other day.”

  She took the box and checked the return address label. It was from Ella. She had almost forgotten about the garment that Ella swore was amiss.

  The bellman dug in his breast pocket and produced a business card. “This is from the reporter you spoke with. He said to call him in the morning.”

  She looked down at the card. He was a journalist from Vogue Deutsche!

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Jessi must have looked at the business card a dozen times, but she was interrupted every time she tried to call the journalist, and the day disappeared. It started at 8:00 a.m. when she accompanied the band to an appearance at a morning talk show. From there they went straight to the venue for sound check and tonight’s performance. Days like this were non-stop for Jessi, because there were always a million problems that needed rectifying.

  It was hard to believe it was already midnight. It was too late to call the journalist, but she’d call him first thing tomorrow.

  Jessi didn’t care how late it was. She planned to spend the next few hours working on her fall line. She would stay up all night if she had to. She was grossly behind schedule. She loved working for the label and being directly involved with the band, but the tasks were menial and often unsatisfying and it took time away from her designs.

  She took her Tablet and curled up on the couch with a giant cup of coffee. She needed to finish two complete looks. She needed another dress and a red carpet look. The dress reminded her of the package Ella sent. Jessi was so distracted with the reporter from Vogue Deutsche and busy with tonight’s show that she had forgotten about the package she received last night. She placed her Tablet on the couch and searched for it. A quick sweep of the living area told her it had to be in the bedroom.

  She entered the room as quietly as possible. Angel slept soundly, but Tommy was a light sleeper and she didn’t want to wake him. She stopped at the edge of the bed and gazed down at him. Half-moon shadows sat under his eyes. Even asleep he looked tired. The shows didn’t slow him down, his performances were as energetic as ever, but he was under a great deal of pressure. It pained her to know that she was probably responsible for a large portion of the stress that weighed him down. She hung her head. Both of their lives overflowed with responsibilities that pulled them apart. There must be a way to find a happy medium for them to find time to spend with one another.

  She found the box on the valet stand and took it into the living room. She pulled the tab to open the box, expecting to find a perfectly constructed garment, disproving Ella’s insistence that there was something wrong with it.

  Jessi’s hand flew to her mouth and she gasped out loud as soon as she unfolded the strapless mini dress. The fabric was cut on the bias, against the grain of the fabric. It wasn’t an error or oversight. Cutting a fabric on the bias changed the drape of the garment. She understood why Ella and the store manager didn’t pick it up. To the untrained eye, cutting the fabric on the bias wasn’t particularly noticeable.

  She was furious. One of the dressmakers was sabotaging her designs by altering the construction. But for what purpose? She couldn’t comprehend the logic behind the modification and her mouth hung open with confusion and shock.

  Jessi fell back onto the couch, clutching the inaccurate reproduction of her work in her hand. The ball of her foot bounced on the floor faster than Jimmy played the bass drum. She should have never left the store so soon. She should have taken another month off from Falcon or skipped the tour entirely. Her store, her brand, her reputation were all at stake. There was only one chance to make a first impression, and she wasn’t about to let an unknown destroy her name in the fashion industry. She was going back to New York.

  When Tommy woke, Jessi wasn’t in bed and the room was quiet. He looked past Angel at the clock radio on the nightstand. It read 7:15 a.m., too early for any of them to be up. He put his head back down on the pillow, assuming Jessi was in the bathroom, and reached out so his hand fell on Angel’s thigh. He drifted back to sleep, but woke a few minute later when he realized Jessi never came back to bed. The time indicated that over ten minutes had passed. He listened for any sounds of Jessi in the next room, but there was silence. “Hon? Everything OK?”

  She appeared in the doorway, fully dressed. She was wearing a leather jacket, ready to go somewhere. “I was going to wake you up in five minutes. We need to talk.”

  Before he could say anything, she was gone and out of his field of vision. Something was wrong. He felt it in his gut. He tugged on Angel’s shoulder. “Wake up!” He jumped out of bed before Angel responded and went to Jessi. She was standing near the doorway with two large suitcases. He crossed the room as fast as he could, positioned his back to the door and blocked her path. “Where are you going?”

  “I need to go home. I need to take care of my business.”

  Her face was like stone, with her lips set in a straight line and tight at the corners. A light crease was between her eyes. He could only read that she was upset. “Did something happen?”

  “Yes, but I’m not sure what’s going on and I need to find out. I can’t rely on other people and I can’t handle whatever problems are going on in New York from here. I’ve already called Marissa and told her I need some time off because of an emergency back home.”

  Tommy looked down at her bags and at the harsh look on her face. He tried to process what her actions implied, but it was too overwhelming. His insides collapsed and there was a pressure in his chest. The color drained from his face. “Are you leaving me?”

  She shook her head and smiled a little. “I’m not leaving you, Tommy.”

  He wasn’t sure he believed her but he knew he couldn’t stop her from getting on a plane and going back to New York. His gut clenched with the hit of a cannon ball. He was drained, with nothing left inside him.

  Angel stationed himself at Tommy’s side, eyes bulging and mouth ajar. His eyes darted from Jessi’s suitcases and back up to her face. “Is this because of me? I thought we straightened things out between us. Don’t leave! Please!”

  She put her hand to his cheek. “We’re fine, Angel. This is about me. I need to take care of my business.”

  She paused and lowered her eyes to the carpet before they rested on Tommy. It was a disturbing moment of inner reflection. “And I need to figure out how we’re supposed to make this work.”

  Tommy’s heart pounded so loud he swore it was audible in the room. Blood surged between his ears as he desperately tried to figure out a way to stop her from walking out the door, even though he knew that when her mind was made up nothing could change it. “Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it. I swear, Jessi, you’re more important than anything. I love you. Please don’t leave.”

  Her mouth bowed down into a frown, but she took a deep breath and put her shoulders back. “I need to take care of things at home. Please don’t make this harder than it already is. It’s killing me to leave. I want to be part of this life. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. But now I want a life as a fashion designer, too. And I need to figure out how to blend the two.”

  Before Tommy fully comprehended what was happening, Jessi was gone. She gave him and Angel a quick kiss on the cheek and slipped out of the hotel room without looking back. Tommy and Angel were left in wide-eyed shock at her sudden departure and piecemea
l explanation.

  “I can’t believe she left.” Tommy opened the door and poked his head out into the hallway. He expected Jessi to be there waiting, with a teasing smile on her face. He was dazed, numbed into a state of disbelief, and for a moment he thought he’d dreamt the whole thing.

  “She’ll call once she’s home and settled.” Angel tried to sound reassuring and confident, but the slight tremor in his voice wasn’t at all convincing. “She just needs to handle her affairs at the store and then she’ll be back.” He sat on the couch with his hands in his lap and stared straight ahead. After a moment he looked up at Tommy. “Did she say anything to you? About problems at the store? Do you think there’s another reason why she left?”

  Angel blamed himself, but it was Tommy who felt at fault. He failed as a husband. He tried to do right by Jessi, but somehow he always fell short. Her love and selfless devotion were impossible to live up to, but he vowed to make it up to her.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  They were supposed to be writing music, but Tommy couldn’t think about anything except Jessi. He hadn’t heard from her since she left this morning. It was a six hour flight so she was probably just landing at JFK. He held on to the thought that she would call once she was settled, like Angel said. In the meantime, he was distraught, and not doing a very good job of hiding it.

  He sat off to the side with his guitar on his knee, gently strumming a soft tune he had just composed.

  Damien stared down at him. “That’s real pretty, but it’s not exactly Punk Rock.”

  Angel came to Tommy’s side and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Leave him alone. Can’t you see he’s upset?”

  “Dude, I was joking.”

  Tommy got to his feet and took his spot in front of the amp. “Let’s get to work. We need to get this album done.”

  As lead guitar player, he felt the pressure the most. The only one who never seemed to struggle with writing music was Jimmy. He spent last night in an alcohol-induced stupor, but he was able to pound out a fresh set of beats with a few snaps of his fingers. Jimmy experimented with a few different sounds, settled on one and played the beat a few times. “How’s that sound, man?”