Ride or Die 1

by Claire C. Riley

  I swallowed some of my beer and tried to calm myself down because my blood felt like it was running through my veins at a hundred miles an hour and was about to blast itself free from my chest, sending splinters of bone and muscle in all directions.

  I looked around, feeling panicked and anxious. And fuck me, I needed Laney. I needed Laney right the fuck now! Because when all the rage and the panic built up inside me like this, she was the only one to bring me back down, to bring me to my senses.

  Just as I thought it, she came out of the house and started walking over to me. Goddamn, she was a sight for sore eyes. Like a goddess she pulled me in, the warm glow of the fire pit dancing across her golden skin, her long legs, running for miles, and those tits that were just the perfect size for my hands.

  But it was her smile and those deep dark eyes that hooked me the most. They lit up my dark world so I could see again, so all the anger and rage I normally felt melted away and left behind only the good—her.

  She smiled as she got closer, sidling up to me and wrapping an arm around my waist. She looked up at me with concern, her smile faltering while she examined my features. And all I could do was stare like a teenage boy having a wet fucking dream, because this was my woman.

  “Jesse?” she asked, a frown puckering between her eyebrows. She turned and looked at Casa. “What’s wrong with him? Did you give him something?” she accused.

  I pulled her against me, one arm holding her tight, the other reaching up to wipe away the sweat from my forehead. “I’m fine, Lane’.” And I was fine. Now that she was there, my heart had started to slow back down to something more normal and my chest had stopped hurting.

  “You don’t look fine.”

  “Thanks a fuckin’ lot,” I replied with heavy sarcasm.

  She batted at my chest. “You know what I mean. Why are you so sweaty?” she said, running a hand over my bare chest. Earlier I had taken off my tee and put my cut back on. Felt more naked without my cut on than if I was butt fucking naked.

  “I was thinking about you, naked, spread-eagled across the kitchen counter with me between those beautiful thighs of yours,” I said, leaning down and taking her mouth.

  She relaxed into me, her body softening and molding to mine. I kissed her hard, I kissed her soft, I kissed her any which way I damn pleased, because she was mine and no one could take that away from me.

  After long minutes wrapped around one another, our mouths exploring each other’s, she pulled out of the kiss and looked up at me. Casa had fucked off at some point, and we were alone with each other. The party was in full swing all around us, but with my arms trapping her to me, we could have been on a different fucking planet for all either of us noticed. The fire danced in her eyes and I got lost in them.

  Jesus Christ, I was turning into a pussy, but there was no way of stopping it.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, her voice softer that time.

  I nodded, sucking in my bottom lip and letting it out again. “Damn straight I am,” I replied. “Gonna need to go kick someone’s ass in a minute, though.”

  Her eyes widened. “What? Why?”

  “’Cause my dick is gonna turn into a pussy if I don’t. My brain’s thinking all rainbows and unicorns and shit instead of tits and ass. Fuckin’ weird shit going on in here,” I said, tapping the side of my head. “So if I can’t fuck you right now, then I need to spend this energy elsewhere!”

  She burst out laughing and I looked at her seriously, because I was being fucking serious. It was no fucking joke. I rolled my shoulders and pulled away from her, though it pained me to do so, and then I looked around us to see who was outside, letting my mouth settle into a grim smile when I saw that Axle had just arrived. Brother was always looking for a fight.

  “Axle,” I called loudly, my tone suggesting menace and making everyone stop what they were doing and turn to stare at me. Axle was facing the opposite direction but he turned slowly, already guessing what was on my mind. We’d been doing that for the past couple of years. What started out as him teaching me to contain my anger and use it more productively had ended with us now being an even match, which only made fighting with him that much better because we had no clue who was going to win.

  Lord knows I was one angry motherfucker most of the time, but between Axle’s teaching and Laney’s pussy, I was softening and letting go of that anger. Wasn’t sure if it was a good thing, but when I looked at Hardy and saw how full of rage he was all the time, I knew it couldn’t be a bad thing to learn to at least control my temper.

  “What up?” Axle called back, throwing his cigarette to the ground and stamping it out. Sick fuck was already cracking his knuckles in anticipation.

  I leaned down and kissed my girl hard on the mouth and then I stepped away from her, needing to grow my balls back, even if they were blue right now. I rolled my shoulders as I stepped toward him, and he laughed and did the same.

  “You sure you’re ready for this, Jesse?” he mocked, a wild gleam in his eyes. “Looks to me like you’re setting up home and turning pussy.”

  “It’s you who should be worried, brother,” I said with a grin.

  “You sure? I don’t want to go upsetting that old lady of yours when I rearrange your face. We all fucking know what bitches are like when they’re unhappy. Make everyone’s lives hell. I’m just trying to help you out some,” he joked while grabbing his long hair and tying it back from his face.

  “You’re such an asshole, Axle!” River yelled and slapped his arm, but she might as well have been using a feather duster to tickle him, for all the difference it made.

  “Why don’t you get your weak ass over here and find out how much of a pussy I am, brother?” I laughed, cracking my neck from side to side.

  Around us people formed a circle and started taking bets, but I zoned them out in favor of the rush of adrenaline pumping through me. Axle and I circled each other, smirks on our faces and a gleam in our eyes.

  “First one to get the other out of the circle or to get them to tap out is the winner,” Gauge called, and I knew that bastard was betting against me.

  “I’m not sure that you’re—” Axle didn’t finish his sentence as I plowed into him, football tackling him at the waist and sending him to the ground.

  I punched him, hard, my knuckles making contact with his jaw and making both of us grunt out. He flipped me off him and sent me rolling to the side, and I was staggering up to my feet before he could send a punch to my stomach. I looked across to him; fucker was rubbing his jaw and sneering at me.

  “That all you got?” he said, and then he swung for me, his fist connecting with my ribs and making me groan in pain.

  I stumbled sideways, and Casa and Butch pushed me back into the circle before I fell out. Axle grinned and spat blood onto the ground at my feet.

  “I’m just warming up,” I said seriously. Because there was no fucking way I was letting him win. It was my night. It was my house. And it was my fucking fight. He just didn’t know that last part yet, but he would soon enough.

  I spotted Laney from the other side of the circle. She was watching my every move, a hunger in her eyes that told me exactly what my prize would be when I won the fight.

  Yeah, that fucker was mine and it was time to shut that shit down and go take my woman to bed, no matter that there were people in our house. I was done waiting.

  Axle dove for me, his arms wrapping around my waist as he pushed all his weight against me in the hopes of getting me out of the ring. My fists pummeled his back and I pushed against him, sending him back a few steps. I leaned further over and gripped my arms around him before lifting him off the ground and then slamming him back down. He grunted out loudly and let go of me, and then I spun him around and shoved him hard until his weight pushed through the crowd and he fell back, landing hard on his ass.

  The crowd cheered and I walked over to him, panting as I held out my arm to him. Everyone went back to doing what they had been doing before and Axle
took my hand, letting me pull him back up to his feet. He slapped me on the back.

  “Won’t be so lucky next time,” he laughed and stalked back over to a very-pissed-off-looking River.

  I turned around and found Laney right behind me. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips, and that was all it took for me to lose my shit and take what was mine, regardless of the other people there.

  I reached out and grabbed her, swinging her up and over my shoulder.

  “Jesse!” she shouted and laughed at the same time. “I said no, not while we have guests over.”

  “What did I say about you telling me no, woman? No isn’t in your vocabulary now, so shut up and get ready to put up.” And with that, I slapped her ass.

  I stalked back into our home, the sound of cheers and wolf whistles sounding out behind me. I passed through the living room, ignoring Hardy’s hard glare, because fuck him, that’s why. I slapped my hand across Laney’s backside again, harder this time, eliciting a nice little scream from her as I carried her up the stairs and into our bedroom, where I dropped her unceremoniously onto the bed.

  She looked up at me, her gaze hooded and intense, and I reached down and unbuckled my jeans, loving how she never looked away from me. I let my jeans and boxers slide down my legs and hit the floor, and then I stepped out of them both. I pulled off my cut and placed it carefully over a chair by the window and then I returned to Laney, enjoying the way her gaze followed my every move.

  I grasped her ankles and pulled her to the edge of the bed so her legs dangled off the edge, and then I reached up and unbuttoned her shorts before dragging both her shorts and her panties down her legs. I threw them across the room and I stared down at my woman, my dick hardening with every passing second. Her chest was rising and falling, her tits pushing up against the thin cotton vest that she was wearing and I reached over, gripped either side of it, and tore it right down the middle, enjoying the way her eyes widened at the sound of her clothing tearing.

  Her flesh was hot and damp, a light sheen of sweat covering her almost naked body, and I leaned down and licked across her stomach all the way up to her right breast, where I reached under her and unclipped her bra, freeing her tits, and then taking her nipple into my mouth in one swift move.

  She moaned as I sucked harder, my hand reaching between us to stroke against her folds, my fingers slipping inside of her and making her hips buck against my hand. I stroked along her, the pad of my thumb rubbing against her clit while I flicked my tongue across her nipple and made her cry out.

  Her hands clawed at me, desperate for me, and I used my thigh to push her legs apart as I lay between her legs, replacing my hand with my dick as I slid into her, bottoming out in one hard, swift move. She gasped and wrapped her legs around me and I grabbed her wrists, holding them against the bed above her head as I swiveled my hips over and over.

  “Jesse—” she hissed as my mouth covered hers, my tongue sliding along hers as I slid myself into her, my balls slapping against her ass.

  Her tits were pressed up against my chest, rising and falling with every thrust of my hips. I sat up, letting go of her wrists to grab her hips so I could hold her still while I fucked her senseless.

  Now this was exactly how I had wanted to celebrate moving into our own home: Laney naked and writhing underneath me. I slammed into her again, feeling close, and I rubbed the pad of my thumb against her clit until she blew up around me, tightening that little bit more as her muscles contracted and I couldn’t take it anymore. I thrust into her a final time, riding the wave as I came, staring down at the most beautiful woman in the world and knowing that life couldn’t get much better than this.

  Chapter twenty-two:

  present day

  Jesse

  We hit the road, aiming to get back to the clubhouse around noon. I already knew that Hardy was going to lose his shit with me, but I was past the point of caring by then. Too much else was going on to worry about his wrath.

  Besides, what was the worst he could do? I’d already ripped my own heart out.

  We pulled up to a gas station as we came back into town, most of us needing to fuel up. The day was already heating up, as it always did at that time of year in Georgia. I’d be surprised if they didn’t impose the water ban at some point. I finished filling up my bike and headed inside to pay, stopping to grab a bottle of water as I did. I closed the door on the tall fridge and looked over to see Charlie standing there glaring at me, her arms folded across her ample chest.

  “You have a nerve,” she bit out.

  “Not in the mood for your shit today, Charlie.”

  That was a fucking understatement.

  She took a step forward, uncrossing her arms so she could point a long-nailed finger at me. “Do you have idea what you’ve done to her?”

  I rolled my eyes in reply and she narrowed her eyes at me.

  “Jesse fucking James, you’re killing her, you prick! And I’m done trying to convince her that you’re not a total asshole, when all I see you doing are asshole things.”

  I gripped my bottle of water so tightly that I could hear the plastic cracking under my palm. “I never asked you to say anything to her. And I never said I was the good guy,” I replied grimly. “In fact, I’ve been real fucking honest with her from day one and always told her that I was a bad guy and she could do better. Looks like I finally lived up to the reputation.” I pushed past her, feeling fury burning through my veins.

  “She’s been crying nonstop for you, Jesse!” Charlie shouted to my back.

  I stopped and tried to count to ten before I replied, but I barely made it to three before I turned back around to face her. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah!”

  “Didn’t see her doing much crying for me when she snuck out in the middle of the night and fuckin’ left me. Didn’t see her crying then!”

  Her face softened. “Jesse, I know you’re hurting, but you’re not the only one,” Charlie said, her voice softening. “We’re all hurting because we all miss him. Don’t push us all away. It doesn’t have to be like this.”

  I shook my head and laughed. “What? So now you’re going to tell me that you understand?”

  She nodded and I laughed again.

  “You don’t understand shit, and neither does she. He was my brother, my family, and now he’s dead and I’ve got fuckin’ no one!” I yelled, a tsunami of rage sweeping through my body ready to destroy anything and everything in its path.

  Charlie stamped her foot, anger radiating from her small frame. She was a beautiful woman—thick, dark hair, dark eyes and heavy makeup—but she was also one tough bitch. “You’re alone because you’ve pushed everyone away, Jesse! She’s tried being there for you, but how can you help someone who’s already hit the self-destruct button?” Her voice had risen too high and I swore that any moment the glass in the fridges was going to smash.

  If she wasn’t a woman, I would have kicked her ass by then for speaking to me like that. Because what did she know about me, or Laney or Butch? Nothing. She only knew what we told her. She didn’t live with the pain. Or see the pity in Laney’s eyes every time she looked at me. Poor fuckin’ Jesse James. Dead mom, dead brother, and a father who hated him. Poor fucking man. That was what she thought every time she looked at me. And she was right. I had to get her out of my life before I ruined her like I ruined everything else.

  “You should speak to her,” she continued, her voice softening. “Despite everything you’ve done, she still loves you.”

  I shook my head at her. “Are you not hearing me, woman? She finally saw sense and left me!”

  “Will you stop feeling sorry for yourself and just listen to me! She’s staying with Rider and me. Go and see her—right now. Just drive over there and take back what’s yours. Sort it out before it’s too late, Jesse. There’s still time! Rider’s out of town and I’ll keep out the way for a bit.”

  I thought about what she said, seriously considered it. But what was the fucking point? I
missed my woman like crazy. Fucking needed her more than I needed my own heart and lungs and motherfucking brain to live. But I couldn’t destroy her, not if I loved her. And if she stayed with me, that’s exactly what would happen. I’d take everything beautiful from her and tear it down until there was no semblance of my girl left.

  Because that’s what I did.

  “I’m done listening to you, Charlie. Now fuck off before I do something we both regret.” I turned and walked away from her, heading back out of the door without paying for my fuel. Casa was standing in the doorway and he tapped me on the shoulder as I passed him.

  “I’ll pay,” he muttered, but I wasn’t listening anymore. I just needed to get away right the fuck then. Because if not I was going to hurt someone, and I really didn’t want to do that—at least not while all so much other shit was going down with the club.

  I slammed my helmet on and straddled my bike before starting it. Casa came out of the gas station at the same time as I sped away, leaving my brothers and Charlie behind. Fuck them, and fuck that shit. And fuck Hardy too, I thought as I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. Fuck them all.

  I drove straight, riding through red stoplights and ignoring every other thing on the road. Deep down, I felt like part of me was almost intent on causing an accident so I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit anymore, but the other part stopped me at the very last moment each time.

  I passed straight through town and out the other side, not really aiming to go anywhere, but needing to move no matter what. I drove and drove, but the anger wouldn’t dissipate like it normally did. Instead it built up inside me until I felt like a human fucking bomb that was waiting to explode.

  I needed to vent.

  I needed to fight.

  I needed to fucking kill, if I had to.

  And I knew that there was ever only one cure for the way I was feeling right then, only one thing that ever calmed me down, and that was Laney.