Cranberry Winter

by Ruth P. Watson

  I shook my head yes, and held my hands out for Robert. We walked out of the kitchen and Momma didn’t even move. I sat on Mrs. Hall’s lap until we dropped Ginny off. Ginny had been holding Robert. Afterward, I got in the front seat of the vehicle. I had a headache. Again, Momma had let me down.

  Chapter 23

  Mrs. Elizabeth asked to be dropped off at the club. Simon and I insisted upon waiting for her in the car. She was not in there five minutes before she came out with Ms. Pearl following close behind. She stopped within feet of the car. We rolled down the window to hear what they were saying.

  Mrs. Elizabeth placed her hands on her hips, and got up close to Ms. Pearl’s face. “You know why I am here, Pearl Brown. I want to know why you didn’t let the people around here know it was Kindred you got killed and not Herman.”

  “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

  “You know. My Kindred would never hang around a bar. Herman is the only man who couldn’t live a decent life because you were his pride and joy. He was always following you to hell.”

  “I can’t be out here listening to your accusations. I have a show to do tonight,” Ms. Pearl said, and turned to walk away.

  “You are a heartless women, Pearl Brown. You have managed to get three men killed. All of it is because of you. And you ain’t worth much.”

  Ms. Pearl turned around and walked back up to Mrs. Elizabeth. “Kindred was not my type of man. He was too wimpy for me. He was in the wrong place. He was always coming around checking on Herman. He never let anybody know he was Herman’s brother. I think he liked pretending to be Herman to get away from you. At first I thought it was Herman who was murdered, but when he came to me and told me it was his brother, what did you want me to do?”

  “I wish I had never let your ass in my house. When Herman brought you to visit us in D.C., I knew you would be nothing but trouble. The way you sashayed around like a floozy was too much. Look at you. Herman is gone and he thought you loved him. You don’t even seem affected by his death.”

  “Why do you think he was down there with Mae Lou? I didn’t want Herman Camm. He couldn’t do anything for me. He didn’t have any money and he was a damn fool. I told him to go back to Mae Lou; she was the only one that really loved him.”

  Pointing her finger, Mrs. Elizabeth said, “I want to tell you, you are a nasty woman. I hope you get what is coming to you.”

  “Elizabeth, go on back up to D.C. You’ve been sitting around waiting for Kindred for almost two years. Did it ever occur to you that he was not coming back home?”

  When Ms. Pearl said those words, Mrs. Elizabeth drew her hand back and smacked Ms. Pearl so hard, a curl fell out of her hair. Ms. Pearl grabbed her face and backed up.

  “Don’t run.” Mrs. Elizabeth stepped out of her high-heels. “I’m going to give you the whipping you deserve.”

  Ms. Pearl took off running and went back into the club. The guy at the door held back Mrs. Elizabeth, who was determined to go inside. Simon also ran after her.

  Simon pulled her back and calmed her down. He picked up her shoes and helped her into the car. I had never seen a woman dressed so well break out into a brawl. She was determined to get Ms. Pearl.

  We took Ms. Elizabeth home with us. We made a place for her on the davenport. On the way home, she ranted and raved about Ms. Pearl.

  “Pearl Brown is someone no man needs to come across. She is selfish and loves attention. She doesn’t care about anybody but herself. Two brothers dead and gone just because of her. She even had her own husband killed.”

  Simon cleared his throat. “Now, Ms. Elizabeth, you shouldn’t say things like that.”

  “That floozy had that white man kill her own husband. Somebody told it to me.”

  “I wouldn’t keep saying it,” Simon warned her.

  “Why are you taking up for her?”

  “Because, she didn’t force Herman or Kindred to come around her.”

  “Kindred did not come around her. He was mistaken for his good-for-nothing twin, Herman. I told him Herman was going to cost him his life, but he didn’t listen. When Herman married Mae Lou, I thought he had turned from his wicked ways, but he hadn’t. He was still a fool for Pearl Brown.”

  “You knew my momma?”

  “He wrote us about her, said she was the best woman he ever did know. He told us how she went to church and all. That man thought the world of her, but Pearl has a way with the menfolk.”

  The conversation continued in the house once we were home.

  “Did you know Ms. Pearl?”

  “Yeah, I know her. She came to my house many times with Herman when her husband was overseas. She doesn’t care about nothing and nobody.”

  “So, she was your friend?”

  “Pearl ain’t never been a friend of mine. I tolerated her for my husband’s sake. He wanted Herman to feel welcomed in our home. Frankly, I could look at her and see she wasn’t about much.”

  I went into the kitchen, poured her an ice-cold glass of milk and gave her a slice of the cake Momma had made.

  “Thank you!” she said, and then continued, “Mae Lou told me what he did to you. She said he was sorry at the end.”

  “She told you?”

  “Yes, she told me all those things knowing it was Herman in the casket and not my Kindred. I suppose they had talked quite a bit the last few months.”

  “So she believed him?”

  “Your momma loved him,” she said.

  “I guess she did. For the life of me, I don’t know why. He was a drunk.”

  “Now listen up, you don’t know what a couple talks about when no one is around. He probably said all the right things.” Mrs. Elizabeth gazed at the ceiling. “My Kindred could do things for me no other man in the world could do. I loved that man so much. Lawd, Lawd, Lawd!”

  Simon had already gone to bed, had said our conversations were for women only.

  “Ms. Elizabeth, you need to get some rest. The train leaves early in the morning.”

  Handing me the saucer, she said, “Take this into the kitchen. I’m going to go in the bathroom and put on my nightgown. Now you try to get some rest. You’ve had a long day too.”

  I crawled in the bed and slid close to Simon. I was exhausted. Tears streamed down my cheeks.

  Chapter 24

  I couldn’t wait to get back to school. The drama of being home had been haunting. Every time I closed my eyes at night, I saw the white man holding a gun, and a dead man lying in the street. The flashbacks of Willie being shot also resurfaced. Then at times, I’d gaze out the window and watch Nadine and her two children sitting on the porch. Neither of those things made me happy. Simon said he was worried about me; he had caught me up at night, sitting in the dark. So, when it was time to go back to school, he drove me. I missed riding the train. The train had been the place where I did my thinking. I would close my eyes or gaze out the window at the livestock and the fields of tobacco. Occasionally, we would go past a corner feed-and-seed store. It was an excursion away from the things I could not get off my mind. I would envision taking a train ride to the beach or to another state. The shaking of the train never bothered me, and for an hour, I would lay my head back and relax.

  Miriam was in the sitting room when I got to the boardinghouse. She saw me when I came through the door and rushed over to me. She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail and was wearing a pleated skirt, cardigan and Friedman flappers. She knew how to coordinate her clothes. Some of us girls felt she was the best dressed on campus.

  “I’m glad you’re back. Adam has been over here every day in the last week looking for you. He sat right there in the parlor,” Miriam said, pointing to the davenport. She continued, “He sat with me for over an hour talking about you. He really has missed you, Girl.”

  Instead of going straight upstairs to put down my bag, I walked into the parlor with her and sat down.

  “Did he say what he needed?”

  She tapped me on the arm as if she
didn’t have my attention already. “You know that boy is in love with you.”

  “We are friends, Miriam,” I said.

  She put her hand under her chin. “Well, I think he is in love with you. All he wanted to know was how you were doing in school and did I think you needed any help with anything. Seems to me he believes he has to look out for you.”

  I shook my head and smiled. “Miriam, you are making some of this up.”

  She giggled. “Well, the boy is into you.”

  I got up and she followed. “Did you get the homework for me?” I asked.

  “You didn’t miss anything, but I took notes anyhow.”

  We both went up the stairs. Once we were in our room, I began to unpack the few items I had in my suitcase. I hung up a dress and put all the small things in the drawer.

  “I’m going to have to find you a fellow. You need someone to talk to while I am away,” I said, smiling.

  Miriam plopped down on the bed. She leaned back with her arms behind her head.

  “I might already have someone.”

  “Who?” I asked, putting my underclothes in the drawer.

  With a wide smile on her face, she giggled. She hesitated, as if she had to find the correct words. She picked up a book and put it back down. She finally glanced over at me, smiling.

  “Well…” I said, and waited for her to talk.

  “Adam introduced me to his cousin.”

  “Is he in school around here? I know he has relatives living in Petersburg.”

  “He lives around here. As a matter of fact, he spends a lot of time at the school.”

  I sat down on the bed. “Stop with the suspense; who is he?”

  “He is one of the professors at school.”

  “At school, most of the men are old. Are you fooling around with someone old enough to be your daddy?” I asked, assuming he was old since most of the people at the school were twice our age. Adam was the youngest professor I knew at the school.

  “Adam’s cousin is working with him now in the history department. He came over here with him. Too bad you are married, because we could be going on double dates.”

  I listened to her go on and on about us double dating and even living in the same city. She was a hopeless romantic, who had only been out with the guy once. They had taken a walk one evening and he had promised they would have many dinners. She was attractive, and I could only imagine a cousin of Adam’s having the same seriousness, kindness and dedication.

  “Miriam, I don’t know what to do.”

  “You know, you have got to be happy. Adam is a fine colored man. He is always saying the right things to you and about you. You shouldn’t stay with Simon if he makes you unhappy,” she said in a proper Southern drawl. It seemed to me that when things got to be serious, Miriam’s manner and voice also changed.

  “Simon wants me to understand. He was there for me when I had Robert.”

  “You don’t owe him anything. What happened to you was not your fault. Robert is the outcome. Simon deliberately lied to you.”

  “I just don’t know.”

  “If I was you, I’d leave him. He is not your type anyway. In a few years, you will have nothing in common with him.”

  I giggled. “I will always have the country in common with him.”

  “That will be it. Do you love him?” she asked, with her eyes squinted and her nose turned up.

  “I used to love him with all my heart. Each lie has chipped away at my love for him.”

  “Seems like you are done with him; yet you are just hanging on because he helped you to leave Jefferson County. “

  “No, that is not true. He used to be my best friend.”

  “Do that woman and her children still leave across the street?”

  “They are there so he can keep a watch on the children.”

  “Girl, he’s got a car; he can drive around the corner. He is a strange man. I thought he was busy working with the Colored League.”

  “I’m so confused, and there is no way I can mess up Adam’s life right now.”

  “Do you care for Adam too?”

  “Adam is so special to me. I just want to make sure things are right.”

  I could not commit to Adam or Simon. I had a lot of thinking to do. What I had experienced with Simon had me agitated, and vulnerable. Memories of my jaded past kept rising up inside me, and kept me in a tainted marriage. My plans were to dive into my books, and make the best grades in the normal school. I wanted to teach in Richmond and help the young people to make better choices when it came to education. While I concentrated on my studies, I could only hope I would find a way to straighten out my life.

  We had just finished talking when we were alerted of visitors in the parlor. Immediately, Miriam stood up in front of the mirror combing her hair in place and practicing the smile she would show Adam’s cousin. I inhaled knowing I would have to say goodbye to Adam until I had things in order.

  As we sat in the parlor with Adam and David, playing checkers, the entire room was filled with laughter. Miriam and David beat Simon and me four times. I had not laughed and had that much fun since I was a child. Just when everything was relaxed and we had played our last game of checkers, Adam asked to speak to me alone.

  It was the beginning of the transition from spring to summer and the night air was warm and dry and the sky dark except for the sparkles of the stars. It was a perfect night to spend with someone you loved.

  We sat down on the porch glider and searched for the North Star.

  “Isn’t it fascinating how the slaves had the wisdom to follow the North Star to Canada?” Adam said, and pulled my hand into his. I was uncomfortable at first, but soon was enjoying the way it felt to be shown affection. I quickly forgot about being married.

  Adam put his arm around me and kissed me on the lips. “I’ve been concerned about you ever since the shootings at the club. When I walked you home, I hated to leave you there alone.”

  “I think being here is good for me. I don’t think about the club or anything else. I get to concentrate on completing my studies.”

  “Do you want to be with me, Carrie?” he asked.

  I peered up at the sky and found the brightest star and focused on it. Then I answered, “I do, but I can’t see you anymore, Adam. I’ve got to figure my life out. I don’t want you in my mess.”

  “We are not just getting to know each other; we have history, Carrie. You can’t just throw it all away.”

  I tightened my grip on his hand. “I want to be sure about us. I can’t have you waiting for me while I wait for Simon. I want things to be done right.”

  He shook his head. “It is simple; leave him.”

  “It’s not as simple as you say.”

  “What do you want to do?” he asked louder, more sternly.

  “I want you to go on with your life. If we are meant to be, we will find our way back together.”

  “I am here with you. I took this job to be close to you. Now, you want to push me away.”

  “I want us to have the best possible start. I need you to understand,” I said, gazing at the stars. When I glanced at Adam, he had tears in his eyes. When I noticed it, my eyes welled up and the teardrops slid down my cheeks.

  “No matter what, I know we will be together,” he said.

  “I know we will too,” I mumbled.

  He got up from the glider and pulled me up too. He held me close in his arms. I put my head on him and the tears poured like the rain. He wiped them and kissed me intensely on the lips. I could feel him all over my body. I wanted to say yes, but I didn’t. I pulled back from him. He shook his head.

  “I know you’ve got some decisions to make. Just keep focused on the schoolwork, and pray the rest of our lives will fall into place,” he said, and walked away.

  He was so soothing to me. He said the things I needed to hear. Now, I needed to do what was right and either reconcile with Simon, or be alone.

  Chapter 25

 
; “I need you to accept my children,” Simon said, as if I had rejected his children. I actually liked how his daughter had handled herself the day I went to visit Nadine. She was tired of lying and wanted to make sure the truth was told. The little girl ignored her momma’s demand, and was bold and courageous enough to say something about a subject it was obvious she’d been told to keep to herself.

  “I already accept your children,” I assured him.

  “They want to come over here and play with Robert,” he said.

  “Simon, I don’t think that is a good idea. Your children are too old to play with Robert. He is just a little boy.”

  “I think they should know each other. Besides, we are family.”

  I couldn’t believe he was asking me to take his children in. The next thing he’d want me to do would be to let Nadine drop by whenever she wanted. I stood my ground and stared him in the eyes. “Do you really think I want Nadine coming over here?”

  “Nadine is not coming, just the children.”

  I felt like a thirty-year-old woman in a teenager’s body. I had been forced to grow up too fast, and because of it, I acted more like an adult than my peers. I had a baby of my own I didn’t spend enough time with, and now he wanted me to take on the children of his mistress. Who did he think I was? Did he really know anything about me? At times I felt I didn’t know him. He had lied about the children, and now, without thinking, he was asking me to become a mother again. The last thing I wanted to share was my living space with his other family.

  “I can’t do it, Simon. It is bad enough I have to see them every day when I come and go in my own home. They are across the street.”

  “Grow up, Carrie. You know about the children. I have told you everything. My daughter wants to get to know her little brother. Is that so bad?”

  I stormed out of the kitchen, and Simon followed. “Simon, do whatever you feel. Just don’t think I am going to take care of them.”

  “Carrie, you are selfish. You don’t want any more children. You don’t even want to take care of Robert, and now you are trying to deny my children from visiting their daddy. I’m their daddy, Carrie.”