The Hope That Starts

by Heidi Hutchinson

Meanwhile, back on tour, his friendship with Zelda was perfect. She wasn't stupid, she knew about Kiley, but treated him just the same. It solidified his original thought, that they would make better friends than lovers. If it bothered her that he was seeing someone, she would have let him know in some fashion by now.

  They were still close, and getting closer, marathoning Doctor Who, doing photo shoot promos for the band, spending a lot of goof-off time together. Still, he wanted to get to know more about her. He wanted to know everything.

  Absolutely everything.

  ***

  Zelda's Nikon beeped at her in a cross fashion and she frowned down at it. “Stupid bugger,” she muttered as she turned it back on. She needed to switch out the memory card. Again.

  She clicked the new card into place, and put the full one safely in her bag. Her phone chirped a notification and she sighed, surveying the scene before her. Deciding that she had a minute to spare as the guys set up for sound check, she settled comfortably in a cross-legged position on the floor of the stage.

  The show was another outdoor one, but not so blasted hot as it had been. It was comfortably warm, the humidity low. It was expected to be very cool after the sun set and the moon took over. Zelda was in yoga pants and a threadbare t-shirt that said “I left my heart in Sunnydale...” and there was a picture of The Gentleman. She loved this shirt.

  Her phone was in her camera bag and she reached inside to check the message. It was a text from an unknown number. She opened it, knowing it was probably from Matt. He hadn't called in about a week and she was thinking that maybe he had finally given up. Or perhaps starved to death.

  The screen was filled with a photo of a penis.

  “Ah!” she yelled and dropped the phone on the ground. He'd sent her a dick pic! That ass!

  Grinding her teeth together, she picked the phone back up and deleted the picture, then she text a reply to his phone involving threats of dismemberment with a garden trowel. He didn't respond.

  The stage grew crowded with the arrival of the band, techs rushing around to readjust and fix and move. Zelda was amazed at the complexity of their jobs. The crew itself was enormous, she would probably never meet everyone who worked on the tour. But they all knew their jobs and did them with ease, or so it seemed to her.

  “Hey, are you busy?”

  Zelda glanced up to see Luke approaching her, an apprehensive look on his sharp chiseled features.

  She shook her head in answer. She was definitely not busy.

  He crooked his finger at her and waited for her to stand up. Zelda had to wonder if it were possible for anyone to actually deny Luke Casey when he crooked a finger at them. Lenny could probably resist, she seemed like a chick who didn't get pushed around. Though Zelda then had to wonder why Lenny would ever deny Luke when he was beckoning.

  She shook out of her thoughts and followed the lead singer to the center of the stage. He positioned her with gentle but firm hands on her shoulders right in the front of the mic stand.

  “Stand here a minute.” Then he stalked off the stage.

  Zelda took in the perspective from Luke's designated area. So this was the view from his office. Nice.

  “Zeldy, can you do a mic check?” Greg asked over the loud speaker.

  She leaned forward, a random thought crossing her mind and she went with it. “This is Zelda Fitzpatrick, comin' in hot!”

  Snickers erupted around her and she smiled.

  “Hey, Zeldy,” Sway called from her left. She looked his way and he arched an eyebrow. “You like Queen, yeah?”

  “Oh yeah,” she confirmed.

  Sway grinned and lifted his chin to Mike who, nodded and counted it off. Sway joined in with a very familiar bass line. Zelda caught the tip of her tongue in between her front teeth in excitement. “Under Pressure” was one of her all-time favorite songs. It was the song that she sang into her hairbrush in her bedroom when she was supposed to be getting ready for school. She had a whole performance choreographed that involved earnest chest clutching and extravagant dance moves.

  “You better be able to sing it, sweetheart,” Sway said to her into his mic.

  That's when Harrison picked up the guitar part and started playing the melody. She hadn't even seen him join them on stage yet. Zelda's heart nearly exploded. She couldn't help it, she leaned into the mic and started singing the “mm ba da's.” It was like something had possessed her. Her limbs came alive and she got louder.

  She did her absolute best at singing Freddie's part and Harrison joined in as Bowie. Zelda strutted and stomped and shook her butt all over the stage. Her teenaged days of practice were finally getting their chance to shine. It didn't matter that she looked ridiculous. Or dramatic. Or crazy.

  She. Felt. Great.

  The adrenaline was pumping, her limbs were buzzing, and she found it impossible to move enough to disperse the extra energy. Harrison joined her at the lead mic and they sang—yelled into it together.

  Double Blind Study made it their own, of course. They added their own flavor of loud distorted guitars and really made the song rock. The song reverberated in her chest and pounded through her veins. It was a rush unlike anything she'd ever experienced.

  When the song ended, Zelda sank to her knees, laughing. She wasn't used to that kind of a spike in her endorphins.

  The few crewmembers who had stopped to watch, clapped and whistled their approval. Zelda put her hand flat against her heart to feel the pounding.

  “Are you okay?” Harrison asked with a chuckle.

  Zelda was laughing so hard she had to catch her breath before answering. “Yes, oh my gosh.” She relived it briefly and guffawed to the point where she actually had to brace both hands on the stage so she could really laugh heartily. Tears ran out of the corners of her eyes and she wheezed in between loud outbursts that sounded more like howling then laughing.

  She had achieved the danger zone. The point of her hilarity where she could no longer control it, it had hold of her and wasn't letting go. Her mom used to say she sounded like a crazy old lady being mugged by a herd of donkeys. It was absolutely the most unattractive thing about her. But she couldn't help it.

  Harrison squatted next to her and rested a hand on her back. “You gotta calm down. You're gonna hyperventilate.” But he was laughing too. That was the danger of the danger zone. She could pull anyone into it with her.

  One time at Thanksgiving dinner at her grandma's house, her cousin Joel had made a very inappropriate joke about the consistency of the mashed potatoes. It was juvenile and ridiculous, but it struck Zelda's funny bone. Hard. She got the two-way going and most of the table had started laughing at her, not even knowing what had set her off initially.

  “What is so funny?” Harrison choked out between his own laughter.

  Zelda took a deep breath and tried to calm down, but another burst took over. Her stomach hurt and she was starting to get afraid she was going to have to pee soon. She took another breath in and started to fan her face. “I just realized that I've become my father.”

  “What?”

  She shook her head, her cheeks on fire and sore as she wiped the tears off of them. “My dad. He loves Queen. He'd be so proud of me right now.” She chuckled, much softer now, and sighed. “Yeah... I just figured I was going to turn out like my mom. I never saw this coming.”

  Harrison ruffled her hair and grinned at her. “You are crazy.”

  Zelda exhaled loudly. “Yep.”

  ***

  The rest of the night was mostly a blur. Zelda took her pictures, the band played their songs, and the fans screamed their devotion. Kendra hustled everyone into the buses as quickly as possible and they were on the road before midnight.

  The weather, on the other hand, wasn't planning on being quite so cooperative.

  “Kendra says that stopping is just a precaution,” Sway read the text he received when they felt the buses slow and pull over at a rest area. “The winds are high and we'll have to stop until it pas
ses.”

  Zelda thought this made sense. No one wanted buses tipping over on the interstate in the middle of the night.

  “Harrison, are you all right? You look a little pale,” Sway stated.

  Zelda's eyes slid to Harrison, who was seated in his customary spot on the couch across from her, finishing the sandwich she had made for him earlier. He did look a little pale.

  Zelda closed her laptop and returned it to its bag on the floor. “Maybe we should try to get some sleep,” she suggested. “Tomorrow will probably be hard if we end up behind schedule.”

  Sway looked back and forth between Zelda and Harrison, then he nodded slowly. “Good idea, Zeldy.” He shoved to his feet and moved to get ready for bed.

  Harrison remained quiet throughout their nighttime rituals. Zelda knew he was thinking about the last time severe weather had impacted the tour. It hadn't been that long ago.

  They each took turns in the small bathroom, brushing teeth and washing faces. Zelda changed into a fresh pair of yoga shorts and a black racerback tank. She skipped lightly to the hallway of bunks, intent on behaving as if everything was normal. No reason to add to Harrison's anxiety.

  “Nice dance moves tonight,” Sway said as he climbed into his bunk.

  Zelda grinned at him over her shoulder as she straightened her covers. “Thanks. I had so much fun.”

  “Maybe we'll have you join us for sound check more often,” Sway suggested with a yawn. “Man, I'm tired. This'll be nice, sleeping on a non-moving bus.”

  Zelda agreed. While she had pretty much gotten used to the rocking of her surroundings, she still appreciated the simplicity of sleeping in a solid location.

  “Good night, nerd girl.”

  “Good night, Blondie Bear.”

  “Goodnight, Harry.”

  “Goodnight, Sway,” Harrison replied tightly. His only words since Kendra's text about the weather. Zelda wished there were a way she could comfort him, let him know it really was going to be fine.

  The rain on the roof of the bus was soothing. While she had no doubt that she and Sway would have no problem sleeping, she suspected Harrison would lie awake all night long, strung tight with anxiety. She pulled out her phone and squinted against the bright light in the dark of her bunk. Calling up the weather app, she looked at the radar. Sure enough, nothing severe, just a warning for high wind gusts and light rain.

  “It's gonna be okay, Harrison,” she said softly, hoping to reassure him. “I checked the Weather Bug, we're totally safe.”

  She heard him shift in his bunk across the aisle. Then he sighed heavily. “You looked at the radar?” he asked.

  She smiled silently. “Yeah.”

  “And you would be able to tell if it was bad... because you know what to watch for,” he said, she could hear him striving to convince himself.

  “Yeah,” she confirmed, attempting to keep the smile out of her voice.

  He shifted some more, moving restlessly, then settled down again. The cabin fell into silence and Zelda closed her eyes, feeling the heaviness of her fatigue begin to draw her under.

  “Don't move.” Harrison's command startled her and she sucked in a gasp. He had left his bunk and was climbing over her. Placing his hands on either side of her waist, he carefully maneuvered around her body and slid into the narrow space left on her mattress between her and the wall.

  “What are you doing?!” she hissed.

  “I'm scared,” he stated flatly. “And I'm done pretending like I'm not. You know what to do in a tornado, so now you have a bunk mate.”

  Zelda couldn't help it, a giggled bubbled out of her. “You're being ridiculous. Get back to your own bunk.”

  Harrison was rearranging his much bigger body into a more comfortable position. One of his arms came over the top of her waist and hooked around her. One heavy leg bent and rested over the top of hers, pinning her down. He finished fitting her body against his and rested his head in the crook of her neck. She could feel his warm breath along her collarbone and had to admit that this was a much more appealing way to sleep.

  “I'm not leaving, so you can stop asking,” he said, his voice vibrating through her shoulder and into her belly.

  They'd never been this close before. She was surrounded by him.

  Damn, he smelled good.

  “If I have to listen to you guys have sex, I will never forgive you,” Sway spoke up. Zelda's face caught fire and she choke-snorted an embarrassed laugh.

  “Go to sleep, Sway,” Harrison said. He squeezed around her middle. “Show me the radar.”

  She lifted her arms up and opened the app. “Are you really that scared?”

  “Hell yes, I'm that scared. I'm trying not to cry,” he replied, his voicing pitching up.

  Zelda bit down on her bottom lip.

  “Don't laugh at me. Are you laughing at me?” He released her and pushed his hand down into the bed so he was looming over her, his face lit by the glow from her phone. “You are, you're totally laughing,” he said with indignation.

  Zelda's smile widened. “I can't help it, it's funny.”

  “Shush.” He frowned at her, trying to look severe. It didn't last. His frown faded and he closed his eyes as he smiled sheepishly. “It is kind of funny.”

  “C'mere, I'll show you there's nothing to be scared of,” she said, jerking her head to get him to lay back down. He did and she ignored the electricity that was coursing through her from where his body touched hers. She lifted her phone and pointed at the lack of warning. “See? Just some wind. No killer tornadoes.”

  “Calling them killer tornadoes does not help your case,” he grumbled. She giggled again.

  “Tell me a story,” he said suddenly, his arm tightening as he buried his face in her neck. “Something to distract me and help me sleep.”

  “You're like a little kid. You know that, right?” she asked, putting her phone on the shelf behind her head. She shifted her other arm out from under him and stuck her fingers in his thick hair.

  “Shh,” he argued. “Now tell me a story.”

  Zelda tried to come up with something, but the only thing that kept pushing to the forefront of her mind was this stupid story she had made up when she was twelve about a jackalope named Steven and his raccoon best friend named Psycho Bob.

  “Okay, once upon a time, there was a jackalope named Steven—”

  “What's a jackalope?” Harrison interrupted.

  “Um.” Zelda blinked and then shook her head as she tried to refocus. “It's part jack rabbit, part antelope. They get to be like seven feet tall and have big antlers. Now pay attention.”

  “What?” Harrison asked, ignoring her instructions. “Are these things real?!”

  Zelda sighed. “No, they're a tall-tale. Now stop it, you're ruining the story.”

  “Why are you telling me a story about a mythical rabbit with horns? I told you to stop scaring me.”

  Zelda chuckled. “Jackalopes aren't scary. I wish they were real. I'd have a whole jackalope farm with a jackalope petting zoo complete with kiddie rides.”

  “You are the weirdest girl I know,” Harrison declared earnestly. “Why can't you like unicorns like normal girls?”

  “Right,” Zelda said dryly. “Unicorns. Because a horse with a spear growing out of its head is an exotically gorgeous creature. 'Hey, you're in my way, don't mind if I stab you.' ”

  Harrison barked a laugh against her neck that made her jump. “Ha! You're totally right. How have I never noticed that before? Unicorns are terrifying.” His laughter shook the bunk and her with it. She joined in.

  “Would you two please be quiet?” Sway yelled. “I'm trying to sleep and the nerd-flirt is too loud.”

  Zelda's hand flew up to slap across her mouth even as she choked on new laughter. Harrison's arm tightened again as his chuckle rumbled through the bunk.

  “Shh!” she hissed. “You're going to get us into trouble.”

  “Me?” he whispered. “You're the one with the weird laugh
that makes me laugh harder.”

  She pulled his hair. He yelped in surprise. She was reaching a dangerous level of hilarity and he was going to follow her.

  “Okay, okay, okay,” she whispered desperately. “We have to stop. We have to.”

  “Okay, you first,” he agreed quietly, his body still silently shaking. He let her go and rolled to his back, taking up more room than was really available. His hands folded across his stomach and she could hear him sucking in deep breaths through his nose.

  She focused on her breathing too and nothing else, trying to calm back down. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, then she let it out slowly.

  “Check the radar again,” Harrison prompted with an elbow in her side.

  She grabbed her phone from behind her and opened the app. The storm cell was still hovering over them.

  “That doesn't look good,” he whispered.

  “It's totally fine,” she countered, clicking her screen off and putting the phone back. She adjusted the covers and noticed he was only in a t-shirt and some light pajama bottoms. “Are you cold?” She offered up the edge of the blanket.

  His head turned her direction, but she couldn't see his face in the dark. It seemed to take him a long time to respond. “Not right now, maybe later though.”

  “Okay.” She smoothed the blanket back down and rested her hands on her stomach in the same way he had.

  The wind had really picked up and the bus rocked slightly.

  “So Steven the jackalope had a best friend named Bob.” She decided that continuing her story was probably the best idea. Maybe he'd fall asleep and forget about the wind entirely. She felt bad that he was scared of tornadoes now, and she would do just about anything to make him feel better. He was Harrison, how could she not?

  “Bob was a raccoon. He thought he was tougher than other raccoons, so he made Steven call him Psycho Bob. Anyway, one day, Steven was hopping along, as jackalopes do, when he came upon a beautiful vegetable garden. Now Steven loved vegetables because he knew they made him big and strong.”

  Harrison rolled over to face her, tucking a bent arm under his head.

  “But he could tell that the garden belonged to someone else. Psycho Bob encouraged him to take what he wanted. He was an enormous jackalope, no one would dare stop him. But Steven knew that was not a good idea. What if the person who owned the vegetable garden loved vegetables just as much as he did? That would hurt their feelings. So Steven started asking around, to find out who the garden belonged to.”