The Hope That Starts

by Heidi Hutchinson

Harrison grimaced, but didn't respond.

  “Why am I surprised?” Carl continued, waving a hand in the air disgustedly. Kendra's eyes darted between the two men nervously. “Years with this band, and here I thought you were the one who'd know how to respect a woman.”

  “Thanks,” Harrison snapped sarcastically. “Make sure you tell your disappointments to my sister when you get a chance.”

  “I'll figure this out,” Kendra interjected, desperately needing to quell this turbulence. “This is an isolated incident—”

  “What the hell are you thinking anyway?” Carl yelled, completely ignoring Kendra's presence. Sam took a step to put himself between her and the other two men. “The detail said you already had a girl in here when Kiley showed up!”

  Kendra's mouth fell open and she stared at Harrison. His eyes flicked to her briefly as his jaw worked back and forth. “That wasn't anything you need to worry about.”

  “Yeah?” Carl was bordering on abusive with his tone. “How much you wanna bet that it was the photographer? The one I told you to stay away from.”

  “What if it was?!” Harrison shouted unexpectedly. “How is that any of your business?!”

  Carl charged forward and stuck his finger in Harrison’s chest. “You're my business! She's my business! Can you imagine the lawsuit that could arise from this just because you can't keep it in your pants? She works for us, dumbass!”

  “You think I don't know that?!” Harrison shouted in return, his voice cracking on the end.

  “I think you have no idea what the hell you're doing!” Carl raged.

  The air thickened with warning, stiffened with testosterone. Kendra was positive she was going to need another shower.

  The band had their moments. Carl was regularly a pretty pissed off guy, but this... This was a whole lot more intense than she had ever experienced. Then again, she had been absent during the Luke-Blake fist-fight of the previous tour. But the stories were starting to make sense.

  What happens when you take a bunch of hardheaded, talented men on the road and then start adding feelings and complications and irrationality? Kendra finally understood why Carl was always railing against having women on the tour.

  It was a very bad idea.

  Harrison took in a deep breath and waited a beat without responding. Carl paced around the room like a caged animal, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. He finally stopped, still irritated, but calmed down enough that Kendra wasn't scared he was going have a heart attack.

  “Harry,” Carl started, sounding more rational and less emotional than before. “It's my job to protect you.”

  The air got heavy then. Heavier than it had been just moments before.

  Heavy with the weight of the years and the memories and the mistakes that come with growing up with people who know you better than you know yourself. Kendra felt it. It was thick and turbulent.

  Harrison felt it too.

  His face displayed the time that had passed; he was suddenly so much older than she had ever seen him. His youth faded to the back and the miles he had clocked on the road shone through. The laugh lines and worried creases and the effort of staying on board when the urge to run hit.

  This life could be exhausting. It could swallow you whole if you weren't constantly fighting to stay above water. And Harrison had been fighting that pull for years now. Watching the others before him make the crazy choices, he'd stayed steady and true. He didn't cause the drama, he didn't indulge in the theatrics. He'd fought, time and time again, to be the good guy. To be exactly who he appeared to be. And he'd won.

  Until this moment. This moment that clearly displayed the tug of wanting to give in. Just once. Give in to something he wanted. Someone he wanted.

  “I know,” Harrison said softly, his head dropping a little.

  “Kiley walked in on you two?” Carl asked gravely.

  Harrison nodded.

  Kendra sucked in a silent gasp, her mind racing. She resolved internally to make sure Kiley never even got through the parking lot next time. No, there would be no next time. Kendra would stop at nothing to be certain Kiley and her perfect ass never came anywhere near Harrison, the band, or her tour. Even if she had to tackle and hogtie Kiley herself.

  Where was this coming from? This over-protective, slightly violent side of her? She wasn't that close to Zelda, was she? It was true, the quirky photographer had grown on her with her Star Wars references and her unwavering sugar addiction.

  It was more than that, though. Zelda was so... real. She laughed and she loved and she hoped with everything she was. And she pulled those around her into her happy dance with her. She shared it. Selflessly.

  Right now Zelda was curled tight in the covers of her bed. Alone. There was something very wrong with that.

  “What's the status of your and Kiley's relationship?” Kendra asked into the tense silence.

  Carl and Harrison both looked at her like they had forgotten she was there.

  “Uh,” Harrison started. “We're friends.”

  “Shit,” Carl muttered under his breath. Harrison looked up at his tour manager and frowned. Carl shook his head and looked at the ceiling. “I can't help you with this one. I have a feeling it's gonna hurt you like hell and you are going to absolutely deserve it.”

  Kendra huffed out a breath, completely fed up. “Stupid,” she said accidentally. Harrison narrowed his eyes at her, but she didn't flinch away. “I was terrified that I was getting ready to get fired because an ex had gotten past security,” she explained. “But you can't even declare her an ex.”

  She sighed, disappointed, and returned to the door. Sam met her there with a curt nod, ready to back her up. She looked over her shoulder. “I'll find out how Kiley got in and we'll handle it. But she won't be allowed to come back.” She shrugged at the truth of it. “If you can't stop seeing her, you'll have to go to her.”

  Sam opened the door and waited for her to step through. When he let it slam shut behind him, she got the feeling that Sam was just as disappointed in the situation as she was.

  ***

  The silence of the suite became the third party to their conversation and Harrison listened to it intently. But it didn't say much. Mostly, what he already knew. That he couldn't fix this giant mess he'd created. He wasn't even sure how any of this had happened.

  “Sway,” Carl broke into his thoughts. Harrison jerked his head up, thinking that the bassist had joined them without him realizing it. But it was still just the two of them.

  “Sway would be the one to have a problem like this. He's the one that I've worried about getting into some kind of sexual harassment or legal trouble. I've walked a line all these years knowing it was just a matter of time.” Carl closed his eyes slowly, then opened them, looking at Harrison. “But not you.”

  “Nothing happened with Zelda,” Harrison tried to explain again. “We were just dancing—”

  “See?” Carl interrupted him and gave him a humorless smile. “You really don't get it. You think bodily fluids have to be exchanged in order for hearts to be on the line?”

  Harrison chewed on his bottom lip. Carl stalked to the window and looked out over the bright lights of the sleepy city.

  “I've loved exactly one woman my entire life. I fell for her hard. Then I spent the next fifteen years running away from it.” His voice dropped like he was talking to himself. “I wasted a lot of time.”

  He turned around to face Harrison directly. “I could have saved the both of us so much time if I had just pulled my head out of my ass years ago.”

  Harrison shoved his hands in his pockets. “You think my head's up my ass.”

  “At least,” Carl said quietly.

  “I'll figure it out,” Harrison promised softly, not able to hold his brother-in-law's eyes.

  He had no idea how or where to start.

  Not a clue.

  ***

  Zelda decided to focus on her job that week. Why not? She loved her job. She had been focusing
her attention on cute boys and not on the photographs she was supposed to be taking.

  Her plan with Harrison? Mostly she was polite and friendly, but she decided to put a little distance between them. For herself. She had let the fangirl take it too far. No one could live a life like that. It was necessary to grow up. Be a responsible adult.

  Responsible adults didn't fangirl.

  Besides, Harrison was doing his fair share of avoiding her, anyway.

  Zelda did wonder what had happened after she'd left that night. But she wouldn't dwell on it too long. She couldn't handle picturing Kiley with Harrison. It hurt in a different place than she had ever hurt before.

  “Zeldy?” Sway called into the bus.

  Zelda looped the strap of her messenger bag over her shoulder and stood just as Sway came up the steps from the outside. He had a tall, dark-haired woman with him that Zelda had never seen.

  “Hey, you're still here,” Sway said, his smile warm.

  Sway had been doing his best to bridge the gap between Harrison and Zelda. He didn't push or ask questions, but he was obviously aware that a change had taken place. And he was doing his best to make sure Zelda knew she was still welcome.

  “Yeah, headed out now, though. What's up?” she asked, returning his smile and sharing it with the new arrival.

  “This is my friend E,” Sway said, introducing the brunette. “She's a trainer to the stars.”

  E stepped forward and offered her hand, which Zelda accepted. “So glad to meet you,” E said, her smile wide and eyes examining her in a way that made Zelda think she was a highly curious person. And that she'd look fantastic in photographs. “Sway's told me a lot about you.”

  Zelda glanced at Sway briefly. “Has he?”

  “All good things, don't worry,” E reassured her.

  “Carl thinks we need more physical discipline in our lives, so he hired E to ride with us for a week,” Sway explained casually.

  This was interesting. Wasn't Kiley in the fitness industry? Why not just have her do it? Zelda blinked the thought away; she didn't want Kiley taking up any more headspace.

  “She'll stay on our bus. I thought it might be nice for you to have another chick around,” Sway said, his tone heavy with meaning.

  Now it made sense.

  “Cool,” Zelda said sincerely. “Very cool.”

  ***

  Harrison suspected very strongly that Sway had told E all about his epic screw-ups with Zelda. He thought it early on in the week with the way E had tried too hard to act like she knew absolutely nothing about his personal life. His suspicions grew exponentially with every training session the skinny tyrant subjected him to.

  After his five-mile run that morning in the park followed by pull-ups until failure, he was positive she was punishing him on behalf of women everywhere.

  “C'mon, let's do another quick lap to cool down,” she said, prodding him up from his resting hunch against the cement pavilion.

  Only an insane person would think another lap around this hilly park was a cool-down. But he fell in step beside her. Sweat covered his body, making his shorts and tank stick to him. His hair was getting long. It was thick and curly, the sweat collecting in the curls and dripping down the sides of his face.

  E was dry. Her long, lithe body showed very little exertion and he hated her just a bit.

  They rounded the park and she slowed as they approached the city's rose garden. Harrison was still ahead of her by a few steps and he put his hands on his hips, breathing heavily and wondering why in the world this chick wanted him to die.

  “I heard you're seeing Kiley Turner,” E remarked too casually, stopping at a railing and sticking a leg up on it for a stretch.

  “I was,” he answered, moving a few feet further down the pathway to do his own stretches.

  “Oh, you ended it with her, then?” E asked.

  “We're still friends,” Harrison clarified, wishing his water bottle weren't so far away.

  “Yeah?” E asked, bending over and touching her toes. “You'd be a first.”

  Harrison righted himself and stuck his hands to his hips again. “What's that supposed to mean?”

  E gave him a look that said she saw right through his game, except he wasn't playing a game. “Kiley Turner is a fraud. She was made famous because she put pictures of her ass on Instagram. A supplement company found her and she signed a contract. She's kind of a whore.”

  Harrison let out a disgusted grunt. “You say such kind things about others in your field.”

  E's eyes narrowed dangerously. “Let's get one thing straight. Kiley Turner and I are not in the same field. I'm a professional trainer. I take my job and my clients seriously. She's a hired ass who likes to buy shoes and travel. She wouldn't know a nutritional plan from a credit card statement. Most of that body is genetics, not training. She still thinks that eating fat makes you fat.”

  Harrison bit down on his response, remembering Kiley's many remarks about him putting mayonnaise on his sandwiches. And even suggesting that he cut out sandwiches entirely.

  He scrubbed a hand down his hot face in irritation. “What does it matter to you?” he asked.

  E put one hand on her hip and leveled him with a glare. “Zelda.”

  Harrison looked to the sky. “Is there a tour-wide memo on this?” He dropped his gaze to E. “There's nothing happening with me and Zelda. I kissed her once.” E's eyebrows rose, telling him she didn't know that part. He chose to ignore it. “It was a mistake, we're just friends.”

  E shook her head. “I don't know if you're really that stupid, or if you just think I am. I've been living with you guys for three days and the love is real.”

  Harrison jerked his head back. “What?!” he all but snapped.

  E rolled her eyes. “Shut up. Seriously. I am so tired of people not talking about their feelings. People have feelings, they come pre-installed. Get over your insecurity, grab love by the balls, and live your happily freaking ever after.”

  Harrison wanted to laugh.

  He also wanted to frown. So he settled for as little expression as he could manage. E got tired of waiting for a reaction, so she launched back into him.

  “So you're saying you don't have feelings for Zelda at all?” she asked him directly.

  “I don't seem to recall saying anything except that we're friends,” Harrison countered.

  “But if I were to, say,” E looked around and shrugged quickly, “set her up with one of my friends who happens to be a fitness model, that wouldn't bother you at all.”

  Harrison’s mouth went dry and he struggled to swallow the sand that had suddenly accumulated in his throat. “That sounds nice. She'd probably like that.”

  If looks could disintegrate, Harrison would be a pile of ashes. E watched him and he fought to remain impassive. He couldn't do anything about Zelda right now anyway. He'd already screwed up too many times for another chance, and Carl had made it abundantly clear he didn't think it would end well. At least that's what Harrison had taken away from their confrontation a few days ago.

  “Good,” E said crisply. “I'll do it then. He's really nice. Smart, athletic, solid guy. He likes fun, quirky curly-haired chicks with a fantastic sense of humor.”

  Harrison tasted blood as his teeth cut into his tongue.

  “Did I mention he was an extra in Lord of the Rings?” E waited for a beat.

  “Sounds great,” Harrison said stiffly.

  “Yeah,” E agreed. “It does.”

  Harrison watched her turn her back and make her way back to the parking lot where Zed was waiting for them to finish up. He tried to keep in mind that E had the potential to bluff huge. When she and Sway had tried dating, she'd attempted to make him jealous with a stunt guy. Sway, not the jealous type, had backed out. Her plan had backfired.

  It still didn't budge the cinder block that had settled in the bottom of Harrison's gut.

  E turned around suddenly and gave him a smirk. “You should come with tomorrow.
”

  “Tomorrow?” he asked.

  “Yeah, it's a convention in Sacramento. It's where I'm going to introduce Zelda to Joe. Kiley will be there, you can see your friend in action.” E cocked her head to the side, daring him to object to any part of her invitation.

  “Yeah,” he nodded and started to walk towards her. “Sounds like a good idea.” Calling her bluff, I'm totally calling her bluff. I'm not agreeing to go in order to see if this Joe is actually a real person. This is to prove that E is crazy.

  E flashed a dazzling smile and Harrison realized too late he'd just agreed to attend his own burial.

  Chapter 15

  The Party

  Zelda was thinking that she should definitely be going to these fitness convention thingies more often. Yowzas.

  She was also thinking she should have brought her business cards along with her. Of course, for that to be possible, she'd need to make business cards first.

  “I am so glad you asked me to come along,” she whispered, squeezing E's hand.

  E laughed. “Yes, good butts abound.” She tugged Zelda to a stop in front of a table with a gorgeous man standing behind it.

  “Enid Jones, the only woman to ever steal a client and I didn't mind,” the man greeted them with a wide, gleaming white smile.

  Zelda knew she was staring. It was hard not to. He was tall. Like probably six and a half feet. At least. And the muscles, good Lord the muscles. Dark hair, tanned skin, bright blue eyes, a close-cut beard that beckoned for female fingers to touch.

  “Joe, this is my friend Zelda. She happens to be a huge Lord of the Rings fan,” E said by way of introduction.

  It wasn't the way Zelda would have chosen to be introduced to a man like this. But it's not like it was a lie, so she really couldn't be upset by it. Then Joe's smile grew wider and he offered her his hand. She took it and tried to pace her breathing so she didn't pass out from sudden contact with a guy too hot for words.

  “Zelda,” E said, turning to her with a smile that had scheme written all over her face. “This is my friend Joe. He was an extra in Return of the King.”

  “So, perfection does exist,” Zelda breathed. Joe's smile remained, but he bit down on his bottom lip.