The Hope That Starts

by Heidi Hutchinson

  “I have to go do a few things,” E said, backing away from the two of them. “You're both single, intelligent, attractive people. I'm sure you'll think of something you can talk about.”

  Zelda wanted to be mad at E, she really did. But she couldn't. Not when Joe was still holding her hand and hadn't taken his eyes off of her.

  “Can I show you around?” he asked.

  She nodded.

  Yes. He could show her all kinds of things if he wanted to.

  ***

  “I'm surprised to see you here, is all I meant,” Kiley said under her breath, keeping her smile in place even though her tone was frigid.

  “It's fun to get drop-ins, isn't it?” Harrison responded, feeling about as tight as his voice.

  Kiley's smile slipped.

  He knew coming to this thing was a bad idea. E had directed him to Kiley's table upon arrival, then she'd taken Zelda off in the opposite direction. Harrison had had zero chance to put an eye on this “Joe” character. If he was even a real person.

  The ride over had been quiet and uncomfortable. Apparently Zelda wasn't speaking to him. It was worse than when she'd acted like everything was fine. Now she treated him like another member of the crew. She was polite... but removed.

  At night, it had taken all he had in him not to crawl into her bunk and try to explain things to her. But he had no idea where he would even start. Probably with more words he'd have to take back later.

  “I'm working,” Kiley said. “I have a lunch break in about an hour. Can you come back then?”

  The line to reach Kiley at her table had been impressive. She had been busy taking pictures with any man with a camera and signing autographs. Harrison had never seen her in action. The flirting was a nice touch.

  “Yeah,” he answered brusquely. “I'll just have a look around.”

  Kiley looked nervous, or maybe Harrison was projecting. It didn't matter. He left her table and started to meander through the rows of tables and displays. Trainers, competitors, supplement companies, photographers, models. The room was packed.

  By the time Harrison had made a single lap, his pockets were stuffed with pamphlets, cards, samples, and coupons. He recognized a lot of the faces and only a few of the companies. Being inundated with information seemed to be the main goal of the attenders.

  He just... Didn't. Care.

  He didn't care that Kiley flirted with guys as part of her job. He didn't care that E was trying to reveal something to him. He wasn't jealous, he wasn't anything.

  Kiley was... she was who she was, and he only had one person on his mind that he was missing. Only one person that he was positive could make him feel better just by being near.

  Then he heard her laugh. A laugh that he loved. Slowly he turned towards the sound, and there she was.

  Zelda was standing near a table of a photographer. They were talking and she was laughing. But that wasn't all. She was surrounded by at least four other guys, muscles on display. One in particular was currently pissing Harrison off. He stood more than a head above all the rest of them, his granite shoulders perfectly rounded and connected to corded arms. One of which was connected to a hand that was resting on the small of Zelda's back.

  Joe.

  Harrison didn't know how he knew, he just did. Joe looked like a hero. The kind of man who would walk into a romance novel and sweep the heroine off of her feet while shooting the bad guys and riding off on a dark steed. Because he also looked kind of dangerous. Even though he had an open smile and he clearly thought Zelda was hilarious.

  The guy couldn't be trusted.

  “Hey, Harrison,” Zelda greeted him, and he realized that his train of thought had carried him over to end up in the middle of her conversation.

  “Zelda,” he responded, so tense she actually frowned at him.

  So she wanted a guy who could be dangerous, huh? Well Harrison could be that. Sure he might not have the mass of the big guy, but he'd been subjected to Carl's glare for nearly twenty years. He could replicate it, no problem. He could fake the danger. At least until he'd gained enough muscle to fight this guy to the death.

  “Uh, Harrison,” Zelda started, ignoring the crazed vibe he was no doubt giving off. “This is Joe.”

  Totally called it.

  “Reed, Sloan, and Levi.”

  Harrison nodded at all of them in turn and then he did something he probably shouldn't have done. Later, he would look back at this moment and know that this was the exact instant he'd lost his mind. But he'd definitely make the same choice over and over again.

  He reached out and grabbed Zelda's hand. “I have to talk to you about something really important right now.”

  He tugged her and she fell towards him, tripping just a bit. She regained her feet and yanked her hand out of his.

  “Well, I'm busy right now,” she snapped at him.

  Harrison took a second to appreciate, as a man, Joe's lack of interference before he took Zelda'a hand again. “Sorry, it's work-related. You don't have a say.” Then he started walking the way he'd come, pulling her along behind him. He'd spotted something earlier and now he was going to use it.

  “Harrison, would you let go?” Her tone was bordering on impatience. He ignored her.

  Weaving in between the tables and people, he had absolutely no intention of letting her go until he said what he needed to say. He just had no idea what that was going to be yet. His urgency was real. It was tangible thing that had taken hold of his senses and demanded action.

  They left the conference room and turned down the breezeway. He turned sharply and pulled open a door to a dark, narrow hallway marked “Private.” Yanking Zelda in behind him, he pulled the door shut.

  “What is going on?” she whisper-shouted at him.

  What was it about being in the dark that made people whisper? It was a stray thought he had, but decided to examine it later.

  “I could ask you the same thing,” he snapped in her face. She backed away from him and found herself against the wall. He stepped closer, trapping her further. Their bodies were separated by millimeters and crazy amounts of tension.

  “Have you lost your mind?” she asked. He noticed she was pushing against the wall with her body as hard as she could, trying to maintain as much distance in between them as possible. “I was in the middle of a conversation—”

  “You were flirting with five guys at the same time!” he accused. She sucked in a gasp and then narrowed her eyes. He recognized too late that he was on very dangerous ground.

  “I was not flirting!”

  “Then why were they all staring at you like they wanted to get you naked as soon as possible?” Harrison's mouth had stopped checking in with his brain and was just spouting things that were going to get him slapped any second.

  Hurt and surprise flashed in her eyes. “I can't believe you would say that! I'm a photographer! They were models. I was networking!”

  “Is that what they call it now?” Harrison placed both hands on the wall on either side of her head, effectively fencing her in.

  “You're crazy!” she hissed. “No one in that conversation was thinking anything inappropriate.”

  “I know exactly what they were thinking!” he yelled.

  “How could you possibly?” she shouted in return.

  They were both panting now, their faces so close he could count her eyelashes if he wanted to.

  “Because it's what I think about you every time I'm alone with you,” he whispered.

  Her lips parted, his eyes dropped there. He didn't even wait a full beat before he took her mouth. It wasn't a sweet, soft kiss like last time. No, this one had a lot more passion and built-up frustration behind it.

  He pinned her to the wall with his body. One of his hands threaded through her hair and tilted her head to give him better access, the other hand gripped her hip tightly. He felt her hands grab his shoulders, his back, his hair. Desperate. Feverish. Crazed.

  Damn, but he wanted her. All of he
r. Now. Forever.

  But especially now.

  Her taste was like coming home. For two weeks his mouth had been empty and dry without her sweetness. His sugar cravings had left him surly and uncooperative, making it difficult to do his job or think about anything except for buying cakes and cookies and anything that would help curb the addiction he'd discovered after caving in fourteen days ago.

  He pulled and pushed at her despairingly. He needed her to help him feel like a whole person again. He hated how helpless that made him. How absolute his desperation. How selfish his need. The evidence was overwhelming, he wouldn't be able to deny it later.

  He was lost. He was found. He was out of control.

  He pulled away from her sharply, but still kept hold of her. Her eyes remained closed and he took her in. Even in the darkened hallway, there was enough light to see the puffiness of her freshly kissed lips, her breath was still erratic, and her hands clutched his shirt in fists.

  All of the events of the past few days came rushing back to him and he realized what he was doing. He was pissing in his corner. He couldn't have her, as much as he wanted her. He just couldn't. And he didn't want anyone else to have her either.

  He was such a dick.

  “This never happened,” he declared, letting her go.

  Her eyes flew open as she staggered to regain her balance at his sudden departure from her space.

  “What?” she asked, incredulous.

  “I'm... an asshole,” he said flatly. “I shouldn't have done that, I have no rights to you.”

  Her face fell and she looked past him to the far wall. “Right. This bullshit again.”

  “I'm sorry,” he said lamely. “But if you tell anyone about this...” Her eyes came back to his. “I'll deny it.”

  “Of course you will,” she said, sounding completely unsurprised.

  “This SUCKS!”

  Harrison turned around and slapped both palms against the adjacent wall as he let out a guttural snarl so deeply embedded in his soul that he was shocked at the honesty behind it.

  “Harrison, just talk to me,” she said, resigned to whatever abuse he wanted to lob at her next. He couldn't keep doing this back-and-forth tug of war on her. She deserved better.

  He spun around to face her, his heart pounding ridiculously hard. “Why do you have to be so perfect?”

  She wasn't flattered. She was annoyed.

  “Seriously?” She rolled her eyes and dropped her head back, looking up at the ceiling. “Best kiss of my life and he's not impressed.”

  “Not impressed?” he asked, startled.

  She looked back at him. “That's what this is, right? You keep kissing me hoping it's gonna be great, but then you're just disappointed. Sorry about that.”

  Harrison couldn't believe she just said that. That's how she was interpreting his actions? Not cool. Not cool at all.

  “No,” he said shortly, shaking his head. “That's not even—” He closed his eyes and tried to figure out what it was he was actually doing. Was he going to tell her, and in the process finally admit to himself what he really wanted out of this?

  She was getting huffy as she waited for him to respond. Her face had the look of threatening to walk out the door and he panicked. So he decided to back her against the wall again and kiss her dizzy.

  His mouth knew exactly what it wanted. It wanted her. His hands were in agreement and the rest of his body was more than on board with their plan.

  He pulled away just enough to rest his head against hers so he could catch his breath. Every kiss with her left him feeling like he was being torn in half. His entire body was ripped open, exposing every nerve, heartbeat, and desire.

  “Stop doing that,” she whimpered and it nearly broke his heart because he finally could see that she was being ripped open as well.

  “I can't,” he responded honestly.

  “But then you'll go away. It hurts when you go away.”

  Harrison felt that sharp pain in his chest again. He brushed her hair back as he cradled her face and looked at her seriously. “Kissing you is amazing. On a scale of one to Tolkien, you're Minas Tirith at dawn.”

  Harrison didn't know what it was about Zelda that made him crazy. She reached all the parts of him that no one had yet explored. With a depth and delicacy that terrified him.

  He kissed her again. And just like before, she didn't resist. She met him, matched him, and made him weak.

  Not in the way that Kiley had made him weak. No. This was a much more complex and thorough ruining of his silly defenses and walls. She didn't knock them down. She scaled them, climbed over the needless razor wire, and joined the fight from his side.

  For the first time in his life, someone was on the inside. Looking at him and measuring him.

  And not leaving.

  Why wasn't she leaving?

  “Why do you keep kissing me back?” he asked in between kissing her lips, her face, her neck.

  “Because I have to.”

  He pulled away to study her. “No, you don't.”

  She licked her lips. “Don't be stupid, Harrison. If I didn't kiss you back, I think my heart would mutiny and leave me for dead.”

  He grinned against her lips right before he kissed her again.

  This time he took it slow. His hands roamed along her petite frame. It felt so intensely familiar while still an adrenaline-inducing exploration. His hands slid down behind her to her backside. He really liked this part of her and had wanted to touch it for a very long time, finally feeling like he could.

  Finally feeling like a conclusion had been made. She was his. All the parts of her, inside and out. It was only fair, since she held his every breath in the palm of her hand.

  He experienced what he had the first time he'd kissed her. Except this time, it was deeper and more intense. If every time he kissed her he felt his way, they were going to have a long and happy life together.

  His lips trailed kisses along her jaw to her ear lobe where he gave her a light nip. She sighed and pressed her body into his.

  “I'm not going to leave this time,” he whispered roughly in her ear. She clutched his shoulders in response. Truly he didn't know he was going to say that, but after it was declared he felt less urgency and more peace. A contentment.

  This was it. How he hadn't seen it before, he had no idea. He'd been lost in the hope of love for so long he thought maybe it was just a dream after all. One of those things they sang about, but he never really thought was possible.

  But this...

  Zelda. In his arms. In his life. In his heart.

  “I guess that means I should tell Joe I can't make it to coffee,” she said softly.

  Harrison grinned against her neck and then moved his hands to her waist. Pulling back to look her in the eyes, he savored the adoration she was so clearly shining on him. Why had he not seen it before? “Yeah, that's what that means.”

  Worry passed through her features and he flexed his hands in her sides. “What if you change your mind?” she asked.

  “I deserve that, I suppose,” he consented with a sigh. Then he shook his head slowly. “I might be a dummy most of the time, but every once in a while, I actually pull my head out of my ass.”

  Her smile both hurt and elated him. He hated that he had caused her to question his intentions. Repeatedly. She deserved so much better. It was really too bad that she was only going to get him. Good thing he was going to enjoy making up for all of his mistakes.

  “What about Kiley?” she asked, a crease forming on her forehead.

  Harrison resisted rolling his eyes. “Don't worry about Kiley.”

  The crease deepened. “That's not really telling me anything.”

  He looked past her shoulder and then back to her. “I know. I can't really explain it, just try to understand me when I tell you that I'm awake now.”

  Her eyes moved over his face and the crease relaxed. “Okay.”

  He leaned in for another kiss and his phone buzz
ed in his pocket. They both smiled. “Real life can be so intrusive,” he said, sliding the phone out.

  It was Sway.

  Harrison held onto Zelda with one hand while he answered the phone with the other. “Hello?”

  “Hey,” Sway said thickly. “Where are you?”

  Harrison frowned and Zelda stiffened slightly as she obviously heard Sway's tone as well.

  “I'm with Zelda. What's up?”

  Sway was quiet for a minute, then breathed a sigh into the mouthpiece. “I, uh, I need to talk to you. When you get a minute.”

  “Is everything okay?” Harrison asked, looking into Zelda's eyes that reflected the questions in his own.

  Sway let out a humorless laugh. “Not even remotely. Just—just don't say anything to anyone else. I—God, this is so weird,” he said to himself. “I just need to talk to you.”

  Harrison was nodding even though Sway couldn't see him. “I'll be there as soon as I can. You're on the bus?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay, I'm on my way.”

  “Thanks, Harry,” Sway said quietly before disconnecting.

  Sway didn't sound like himself at all. Harrison searched his recent memory for something that had happened that could have made Sway sound like that. But there was nothing.

  Of course, Harrison had been pretty wrapped up in his own head-up-ass problems. He'd clearly missed something.

  “Go,” Zelda said pushing him away gently and then placing a kiss on his cheek. “Find out what's wrong.”

  She looked as concerned as he felt.

  “This is not me going away,” he said seriously.

  She smiled warmly. “I know.”

  He pulled her in for a fast yet deep kiss. “Don't stay here too long. The idea of you surrounded by a bunch of jacked guys makes me nervous.”

  She actually blushed and shook her head. “Needless worries.”

  “Zelda, you're super hot,” he said earnestly when she wouldn't meet his eyes.

  “We'll talk about my hotness quotient later,” she said, smiling. “Please go see your friend.”

  Harrison grinned, then snuck one more kiss on her lips before departing. His mind was full of Zelda and possibilities and the smell of warm vanilla. He knew he needed to talk to Carl to make sure this wouldn't get her in trouble. He also needed to make sure Kendra knew, and probably the rest for the band. The girls would be happy, that was for sure.