The Hope That Starts

by Heidi Hutchinson

  His mental list kept him distracted from his worry about the weird tone of Sway's voice.

  ***

  Zelda left the hallway after doing her best to make sure her clothes and hair were not askew. A difficult task without a mirror. She mostly went on the very effective “feeling around” technique.

  She reentered the conference room and was stopped immediately in her tracks. Directly across for her, at the far end of the room, was a straight shot of Kiley.

  She looked fantastic. Her hair in a styled ponytail, parts of her body covered in black spandex. She was mostly surrounded by attractive-looking men and a few women dressed like her. But her eyes were on Zelda.

  They stared at each other. The recognition was apparent on Kiley's face, and Zelda felt her's heat in response. She resisted the urge to run away and instead offered a small smile. After all, she didn't really know her and had no reason to dislike the woman. Kiley frowned slightly and then her eyes shifted to someone closer to her. Zelda felt dismissed. And she was thankful.

  Making her way through the crowded meanderers, she finally found Joe. He greeted her with a warm yet knowing smile.

  “I'm afraid I won't be able to join you for coffee,” she said, sincerely apologetic. Joe had been nothing but wonderful since their introduction. If there was no Harrison, Joe would be at the top of Zelda's list of guys she definitely wanted to get to know better.

  Joe's eyes roamed over her features and the knowing increased in his smile, tugging it sideways. “I figured as much. You look like you've been kissed silly.”

  Zelda's hands flew to her hair, her whole body getting warm. “Is it that obvious?”

  Joe chuckled and grabbed her elbow. He dipped close to her ear. “Only to someone who knows what to look for. It's the glow on your face, babe.”

  Zelda took a deep breath, relieved by his words. “Oh, thank God.”

  He straightened and gave her a very thorough once-over. “Good luck with the rock star. But if he gets stupid, look me up.”

  “Ooh, sounds like something happened that I need to know about,” E said, stepping into their conversation.

  Zelda narrowed her eyes at the tall trainer. “Why do you look so smug?” she asked.

  E arched an eyebrow and shrugged. “Kiley Turner stole a client from me once and broke her thyroid. I've been looking for a way to get back at her. Besides, you and Harrison are totally in love. He just needed a little push.”

  Zelda sucked in a breath then focused her eyes on Joe. “And you were in on it? What if Harrison hadn't cared?”

  He shrugged, his blue eyes dancing. “The way I saw it, it was a win either way. Either I help two people get together, or I get the girl.”

  Zelda blinked rapidly. A lot had happened very quickly that afternoon. She looked back to E. “You're a schemer.”

  She nodded in agreement. “And I'm getting better at it.”

  Zelda might not approve of her methods, but she couldn't deny the results.

  ***

  The silence of the bus was so loud that when Harrison cleared his throat, he couldn't hear it.

  Sway sat on the couch, his elbows to his knees as he leaned forward. His face was vacant, his eyes staring at nothing. Fresh tears re-wet the dried ones on his cheeks. His hair was pulled back into a short ponytail, a few strands had come loose and were sticking to his neck and face.

  Harrison had no idea how he was feeling. What he was thinking. This had never happened before. What do you say to someone when something like this happens?

  So Harrison cleared his throat again. With no words to follow.

  “Seven,” Sway said. “He's seven.”

  “How did she—why did she...?” Harrison swallowed.

  Sway licked his lips and blinked slowly, fresh tears squeezing out as his eyelids fell. “She said that she never meant to tell me. But he's been asking questions, and he wants to meet me.”

  “This was Alexa?” Harrison asked. Sway barely nodded.

  Alexa Romaro had been a girlfriend of Sway's. Not his usual thing. They'd dated for several months many years ago and then broke up because she decided she wanted a different life. Sway had acted like he was fine with it, but they all knew he was pretty torn up at the time. None of them had heard from Alexa in years.

  “Are you sure he's yours?” Harrison asked, trying to be gentle. Meanwhile he was thinking that it would be a good idea to call Sway's lawyer and start figuring things out.

  Sway reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, scrolled though his messages and then turned the screen towards Harrison. It was a picture of a boy with long blond, nearly platinum hair and bright blue eyes. His unusual cheekbones and lip shape made him look like a mini version of the bassist holding the phone.

  Harrison took the phone and studied the photo.

  “What's his name?”

  “Miles.”

  Harrison couldn't help feeling immediate affection for this boy. The son of his best friend. Besides, he remembered Alexa as being pretty great. Honestly, the genetics alone would make Miles a terrific kid.

  “What, um.” How do you ask these kinds of questions? “What does she want?”

  “She said she doesn't want anything. That she expects nothing. But Miles wants to meet me.”

  “Whoa,” Harrison said, feeling absurdly overwhelmed.

  “Yeah.”

  Chapter 16

  Kiss Me

  Zelda stopped chewing on her bottom lip and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. She needed to sleep, that was the important thing, but her head was all over the place.

  She'd gotten back to the auditorium in time for sound check. Harrison had whispered something to her about talking later. She was fine with that, because he ended it with a kiss on her neck.

  Then she saw Sway.

  Honestly, he looked completely strung out.

  Zelda spent most of the night making sure he wasn't in any of her shots. She didn't even have to be told. She'd been around these guys enough to know this was out of the normal.

  Her job, from the beginning, was to make them look good. Sway did not look good.

  Every once in a while, he'd show up in her viewfinder and her heart would actually hurt for him. She wished she knew what was going on, but was too afraid to ask.

  He was detached, distracted. Gone.

  When he came back to the bus, he showered and sat in front of the TV, his phone clutched in his fist. They spent a quiet night together. Harrison sat beside her, one hand on her leg while his eyes stayed on his friend. At about one in the morning, when Sway had made no move to change the channel or go to bed, Harrison got up and made him a drink of some kind. Then he urged Sway to get some rest.

  Zelda had put herself to bed.

  She could hear Sway's heavy, steady breathing in the bunk across from and above her. She listened to the bus shift gears, slow down, then speed up again. The rustle of bedclothes across the aisle made her tense.

  When her curtain pulled back silently and Harrison crawled in beside her, she shifted quickly to the side to make room for him.

  His lips found her neck in the dark, his arms pulled her close to his body, and she immediately felt safe and warm and peaceful. Slowly, soundlessly, he covered her mouth with his. She relaxed, her mouth softened; her lips knew their purpose and declared their expectations from him. He met them.

  One of his hands cradled her head and neck, holding her, guiding her. Her own hands shamelessly explored the hard contours of his body. His arms, chest and back. Slipping beneath his shirt, craving the skin-on-skin contact.

  Harrison ended the kiss gently, placing a peck on the end of her nose. Then he settled his body comfortably against her, his face near her neck.

  “Hi,” he said.

  She smiled. “I like how you say hi.”

  She felt him smile against the skin of her shoulder.

  “I crushed up two Benadryl and put them in Sway's protein shake.”

  Zelda blinked. Her b
ody must have jerked a little because Harrison squeezed her with the arm that was across her body.

  “He needs the sleep.”

  “What happened today?” she asked softly.

  Harrison breathed against her skin for a few minutes. Heavy breaths. Breaths with weight. The kind of breathing you did when you didn't know if you could share the thing you wanted to share.

  “You don't have to tell me,” she said quietly. “I won't be upset.”

  He pressed his face closer to her neck and kissed the sensitive skin. “It's not my secret to tell.”

  Zelda totally got that. If Amber had a secret, there was no way she'd tell her new boyfriend right off the bat.

  “But I do feel like we should keep our relationship kind of on the down-low for now,” Harrison added. Zelda didn't like that part. He must have sensed it, because his hand came up to trace her collarbone softly.

  “Keep it a secret?” she asked.

  “No.” He used the tip of his finger to trace a path up her neck to her lips. “I never want to keep you a secret.”

  She sucked in a breath, her arms broke out into goosebumps. Uh-oh. This was a new development.

  “What?” Harrison asked, picking up on her tension.

  “I'm, uh,” she swallowed, her body feeling very warm. “Oh, this might sound weird.”

  He ran his finger lightly over her bottom lip and then her chin, back to her collarbone. Zelda shivered.

  “My physical reactions to being touched intimately have been fairly limited,” she blurted out clinically.

  His hand stilled. “What?”

  “I mean, besides the obvious stuff, I'm actually kind of a cold fish,” she said, feeling her embarrassment trying to choke her. “I suspect that's one of the reasons that Matt was cheating on me... I didn't, um... respond to his satisfaction.”

  She blew out an unsteady breath, her heart pounding.

  “So what's happening now?” he asked, his voice dropping to such a low octave it caused her stomach to do a flip. Meanwhile, his finger began its barely-there exploration of her collarbone and neck.

  “Oh, all the stuff I read in romance novels. Increased heart rate, goosebumps, tingles.”

  “Tingles?” he asked.

  She shook her head and he chuckled against her shoulder. He shifted so he could look down at her, one forearm braced on the bed.

  “So what you're saying is, you've never been turned on before.”

  His dark eyes swept over her, eyes to chest, then back again.

  “I'm not a virgin,” she felt the need to say.

  He gave her a lopsided smile. “Maybe not technically.”

  Her head jerked back deeper into the pillow. “Not technically? How many ways can you lose your virginity?” She heard the question as she said it. “Don't answer that.”

  He smiled broadly and bit down on his bottom lip. She felt her heart actually jump.

  “You've never been with someone who excites you,” he clarified roughly.

  She fought the sudden urge to bite his lip for him.

  “I figured I just couldn't get excited,” she explained, hearing the lame in the words as she said it.

  Harrison's eyes went half-mast and he breathed in deeply. “I have a theory, you want to hear it?”

  No. “Yes.”

  He dipped his head and slid his nose along hers. “I think you need someone worthy of you to excite you.”

  Her lips were actually vibrating. “And you think you're worthy?”

  His lips ghosted over hers and she sucked in a breath.

  “Not even close. But you think I am.”

  Then Zelda said it. She didn't mean to say it; he pulled it out of her with his lips and his touch and his words that curled around her core and demanded she say it.

  “I love you.”

  Harrison raised his head just enough to see her eyes. She wanted to throw up and cry and laugh all at the same time. But no matter what came next, she never wanted to take it back.

  “Say it again,” he said, his face unreadable.

  “I love you,” she repeated more solidly. The conviction and truth of it took up a fixed position in her soul.

  “I don't deserve it,” he whispered.

  “I'm afraid that's not how it works,” she responded.

  “I love you, too,” he said, like it was a secret. Like he was almost afraid to say it out loud and find out it wasn't true.

  Zelda reached up and clasped both sides of his face with her hands. She ran a thumb over his lower lip, wanting to kiss him. Badly. But feeling he had more to share.

  “More than life, Zelda,” he said, like it scared him.

  “Please kiss me,” she pleaded, needing to seal this moment between them forever.

  He obeyed instantly. His weight crushed her to the bed and she wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could. His hands pushed her hair out of the way and he deepened the kiss. It took on the same desperate feeling that they'd both felt earlier that day in the hallway at the convention. Except this time, there was a shared joy and fear involved. They had both exchanged hearts in the dark of a bunk on a bus driving down an interstate in California. Going back wasn't an option. They were in this together now, sink or swim.

  The kiss cooled only marginally as Harrison shifted to get comfortable beside her. Without having to even talk about it, they both recognized that they had time. More importantly, they had each other. No reason to do too much too fast. Especially now that they both knew hearts were absolutely on the line.

  ***

  Kiley Turner could not stop chewing on her fingernails. She was completely ruining her manicure and she didn't care.

  Harrison had never come back after she had sent him away. At first, she'd been thankful. It was weird to have him show up where she was working. But it was also unlike him. He never stood her up.

  So she had texted him several times without reply.

  The short chick with the cool hair kept popping back into her head. She wondered if she got her hair done like that on purpose, or if she was one of those beauties with naturally amazing hair. It was curly and wavy and straight all at once. If she straightened it, it would probably reach to her waist. It was dark on bottom and lightened on top. She was like a rock-and-roll fairy princess.

  Plus she had eyes that you could see the color of from across a room. You know what else you could see from across the room? The pink in her cheeks and the smile on her face. Even when she wasn't trying to smile, it was still there.

  She was the same girl that had been dancing with Harrison when Kiley had gone to surprise him.

  She was gorgeous.

  Kiley hadn't given it much thought after Harrison had dismissed her. They were allowed to see other people. She was surprised because he'd made such a fuss about being exclusive. Apparently he had since gotten over that.

  Though having Harrison show up at the convention really changed a lot about her own perspective. She was suddenly craving the contact of the sweet musician. He always told her jokes to make her laugh. He'd compliment her perfume or her smile, something personal. Something he saw in her that others didn't.

  It was a rude awakening to look up and have him see her really pouring the heavy flirt onto two clients. She felt something she had never felt before in her profession: shame. Not because of her job, but because of how he saw her selling it.

  All she could think about was getting him gone as fast as possible. And then nothing was the same.

  She was all too aware of the empty lines and the heavy innuendo she was spouting and then receiving. She felt dirty.

  She missed Harrison.

  ***

  “I would still like you to get a blood test before you decide anything,” Carl said into the quiet cabin of the bus after no one had spoken for several minutes.

  Sway had broached the issue of him suddenly being a dad by calling a family meeting. Harrison looked around at the faces and realized that this really was Sway's family. Most
people would probably call their parents over something like this. But Sway had grown up with these faces. They knew him. More importantly, they loved him.

  Luke and Lenny, Blake and Lucy, Mike, and Carl. Kendra wasn't included, seeing as there was no reason to bring her in for this. Not yet, anyway. And Zelda was over on the Red bus. She wasn't in yet because he had yet to declare to them that she was his. His one. The only thing he would ever need again for the rest of his life.

  The thought was terrifying and bolstering all at once.

  Sway shook his head, his short ponytail twitching with the aggression behind it.

  “I'm not gonna do that. All due respect, Carl, but I've made Alexa raise my son for seven years without a dime from me. The last thing I'm going to do is call her a liar.”

  Carl sighed heavily and rubbed the back of his neck. “You're not calling her a liar. You're simply covering your ass.”

  “She hasn't asked for anything!” Sway stood up suddenly. Everyone was already looking at him. He licked his lips and then sat back down. “I'm not gonna ask for a DNA test.”

  “It would protect you,” Luke said softly. “In case...”

  Sway looked hopeless. “No. I don't want to be protected,” he said softly to the floor in front of him.

  “What do you want, Sway?” Lenny asked.

  That was a good question. So far he'd merely presented the information and then left it open to conversation. Carl seemed to have the strongest opinion. He wanted the lawyers involved as soon as possible. But that was Carl, always watching their backs.

  Sway's eyebrows went up as he thought about his answer.

  It had been two days since he'd found out he was a dad. A lot had happened that day. No one had really said anything about Harrison basically becoming Zelda's shadow. He was expecting it any day now. But then Sway decided to drop the bomb of all bombs on their little family. It was a good idea. They knew something was up, he was off during the shows and the longer he let it go, the more likely it became that someone would get pissed.