The Hope That Starts

by Heidi Hutchinson

  “I said,” she paused, taking another breath. “I'm pregnant.”

  “Like, right now?” he asked.

  Kiley frowned deeply at him. “Yes, right now!” she snapped.

  “I'll go find the chocolate mousse,” Jamie murmured, hurrying away.

  Harrison’s heart was beating fast again. Like he had been swimming away from a giant squid and had just surfaced. He looked Kiley up and down. “I don't understand.”

  She screwed up her face. “You don't understand?”

  He blinked rapidly and shook his head. “I mean, how? We never—I always—”

  “Accidents happen,” she whispered, suddenly shy.

  He took a breath. Let it out.

  Shit.

  Seriously.

  Shit.

  This. Well, this changed everything.

  “Can we talk now?” Kiley asked, her eyes doing that glossy thing again and looking entirely too big.

  “Yeah,” Harrison mumbled. “Yeah, we can talk.”

  They left the kitchen and Harrison had never felt more subdued than he did in that moment. He was afraid to think anything at all until he had more information, or more spine. To the elevator, up to his floor, left towards his suite. He waved at one of the security guys, who gave him a questioning scowl. No doubt he'd been told to keep Kiley away. The blowback from her visit was going to hit everyone he was associated with.

  And Zelda.

  What on earth was he going to tell Zelda?

  Kiley walked into his hotel room and turned in a slow circle, looking at everything before her eyes came to him.

  “Are you staying here alone?” she asked.

  Harrison blinked slowly. “Yeah.”

  She nodded, looking relieved. “Good. Okay.” She gave him a tight smile. “I didn't want you to have to find out that way.”

  “I know,” he said. Deciding to go ahead and sit down, he crossed to the sofa. “I didn't give you much of a choice.”

  She chuckled dryly. “No, not really.”

  “Sit down, please,” he said softly.

  She hesitated and then finally came to sit beside him. He grasped her hand in both of his and looked seriously into her face. Still gorgeous as ever, though he could see the fear now that he hadn't noticed earlier.

  “What do you want to do?” he asked her gently.

  She took a deep breath, her chin wobbling. “I—I want to keep it.”

  “Okay,” he said, hoping he didn't sound too relieved, even though he was.

  “And I want—I want to be with you.”

  He hadn't seen that coming. The spacious suite suddenly felt very small and he sucked in a tight breath. One of his hands covered his mouth and rubbed slowly.

  “That can't happen,” he said, watching her face carefully for a reaction. It came fast, she jerked her head back and frowned at him.

  “What? Why not?”

  “I'm with someone.” He placed both hands on his thighs and leaned back. “I'm actually kind of in love with someone.”

  Kiley hiccuped a gasp. “What?” she said again. “Kind of in love? What does that even mean?”

  He cleared his throat. “Okay, I'm all the way in love with her,” he corrected.

  She stood up suddenly and shook her hands at her sides. “No, no, no no, no,” she said to herself as she started to pace the room. He watched her, not sure exactly what to do, so he decided to just let her go until he had something more substantial to work with.

  She stopped at the window, muttered something to herself, and then spun around. The tears were unexpected. But there they were, streaming down her face.

  “I can't do this alone, Harrison,” she said, her voice vibrating with emotion.

  Harrison's instincts kicked in. A crying female usually elicited a certain response from him. He couldn't handle it, so he stood up and went straight to her. Gathering her in his arms, he smoothed her hair back and pressed his cheek to her head.

  “You won't have to do it alone, I'm right here,” he soothed.

  Her body bucked with a sob and she clung to him tightly. “I can't. I have no idea what I'm doing. I can't do it all by myself.”

  He pulled away and framed her face with both of his hands, wiping the tears off of her cheeks with his thumbs. “Shh, you don't have to do anything alone. I would never make you do that.”

  She swallowed, hope filling her eyes. “You'll do this with me?”

  He nodded. “Maybe not in the way you were hoping, but I'm not just gonna disappear.”

  Her face fell. “But I want to do this with you.”

  “I'm in love with someone else, Kiley,” he said, desperately wanting her to understand the enormity of what he was saying.

  “Why not me? Why can't you love me?” she whispered, choking on her words as more tears fell.

  He looked back and forth between her eyes, wishing there was a way around this. Wishing a lot of things and not understanding more than half of them. “That would be a lie.”

  Her hands grabbed his wrists. “I don't care! I want you all to myself. I want to have this baby with you. I want—I want you to pick me.”

  Harrison sucked in air quickly and pressed his lips together. Why did it feel like all the air in the room had been sucked out? And who had turned the thermostat up to sauna levels? Sweat began to tickle on his neckline and he was actually a little bit lightheaded.

  “Harrison,” Kiley pleaded again, when he still hadn't said anything. “Please... choose me. Choose our baby.”

  “I can still be there for you without being with you,” he said, looking for more time somewhere in the intense heat of the room.

  Her face took on a more granite-like complexity and she stepped back and away from him. “No. It has to be the whole package or nothing at all.”

  That was when the floor dropped out from under him. He got the distinct impression he was dangling from a hook over hot coals. He had no control, no way to reach safety.

  “You can't be serious,” he said, his disbelief more than obvious in his words.

  She jutted out her chin even as more tears fell. She placed a hand on her still flat stomach. “That's how it has to be. Choose both of us, or nothing at all.”

  “Kiley,” he said, taking a step toward her. “Let's talk about this.”

  She retreated, shaking her head violently.

  “But I don't love you,” he appealed, feeling like his heart was actually going to break apart right then and there.

  She licked her lips and shrugged. “I don't care.”

  The heat, the lack of breathable air, the goosebumps on his neck, the sudden and pounding headache, the lack of muscle strength, all led to him sitting down heavily on a chair nearby. He threaded his hands through his hair and clenched his scalp tightly.

  This was unreal. How could this actually be happening? He was expected to choose between his unborn child and the love of his life. She couldn't be serious. She just couldn't be. It was a game. A sick twisted game. There was no way she could mean it.

  “I realize this is a very big deal,” Kiley said quietly. He craned his neck to look up at her. She'd composed herself and wiped the makeup smudges from underneath her eyes. This was the part where she told him she had been overreacting and she didn't mean what she had said.

  “I'll let you think about it for a little while. But I need to know your decision by the end of the week.”

  “Kiley,” Harrison began and shook his head. “Is this what you really want?”

  She closed her eyes. “Yes.” She took a breath, opened her eyes and glided to the door. Turning back to him, she gave a small smile. “I think you could be very happy with me, Harrison. We'd be a family.”

  He had no words.

  She pulled the door open and there stood Sway and Zelda.

  Perfect.

  Kiley smiled at them both and then moved around them without saying a word.

  Harrison saw the look on Zelda's face. Shock, confusion, pain, fear. Her eye
s came to him, asking a question that he was ill-equipped to answer.

  That was the last thing he saw before everything went dark.

  Chapter 20

  Run

  Zelda didn't have time to deal with her shock. Or her question at seeing Kiley exit Harrison's hotel room.

  Because Harrison collapsed onto the floor in front of her and Sway.

  She rushed into the room, dropping her bag off of her shoulder as she dropped to his side. “Harrison?” she called, turning his body over and grabbing his face.

  “What's wrong with him?” Sway asked urgently, Sam entering the room behind them.

  She shook her head, she didn't know. “He's burning up,” she said, her hands hot where they touched his skin.

  Harrison's eyes opened. “My head hurts,” he said.

  “We have to call a doctor,” she said, looking up at Sam who already had his cell phone out. She shifted to try to get Harrison up.

  Sway put an arm around the guitarist and they both lifted him to his feet. They carefully maneuvered him to the bed and sat him on the edge.

  “My God, it's hot in here,” Harrison said, clawing at his shirt.

  Zelda grabbed the hem and deftly yanked it over his head. She pressed her hands to his stomach and chest as she looked for the telltale marks of his sudden fever. Yep, they were small, but they would grow.

  “Harrison?” she asked, trying to get him to focus on her. “Have you ever had the chicken pox?”

  “No,” Sway answered. She turned her head to see him watching with a frown, both hands on his hips. “We used to tease him about it. He claimed he was immune.”

  “I'm thirty years old,” Harrison scoffed thickly. “I can't get the chicken pox.”

  Zelda's eyes skated up and down his torso and she shrugged. “I'm not a doctor, but I've babysat enough to know what the chicken pox looks like.”

  Harrison's eyes focused on hers pleadingly. “Everything hurts.”

  “It will,” she said sympathetically.

  Harrison’s eyes rolled back and so did the rest of him. Zelda sat on the edge of the bed and felt his forehead again. He was on fire.

  “I'm so dizzy.”

  “What was the last thing you ate?” she asked, remembering his breakfast of pancakes.

  “Mostly sugar.”

  “Of course,” she mumbled as she stood up and put her hands on her hips. Sam approached her, his phone sliding back into his pocket.

  “A doctor will be here in a few minutes,” he said. He looked at Harrison's prone form and shook his head.

  “What's bothering you, Sam?” Zelda asked quietly.

  His lips twitched and he waited a beat before answering. “I don't like it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She shouldn't have been in here. We were given strict orders to keep that woman away from him. She leaves his hotel room and he goes down like a brick?” Sam shook his head again. “I don't like it.”

  Zelda frowned and looked down at Harrison. “Why was Kiley here, Harrison?” she asked softly.

  Harrison's head lolled to the side and he squinted at her. “She's gone, right?”

  “Yeah, she's gone,” Zelda confirmed.

  Harrison tried to brace himself up on his elbows but fell back again, his hands going to his head. “I can't think.”

  “Get me some Tylenol,” she said to Sam. She looked to Sway. “Can you help me get him onto the bed?”

  They lifted Harrison under his armpits and pulled him up the length of the bed until his head was on the pillows. Zelda undid the button on his jeans and pulled them off of his legs, followed by his socks.

  “If you wanted to get me naked, all you had to do was say something,” Harrison joked through the fever.

  Zelda pursed her lips. If it was chicken pox, it was going to get a whole lot worse before it got better. She went to the bathroom and ran cold water over a washcloth. Then she came back to him and placed the cool rag on his forehead as he sucked in a breath.

  Sam returned with a bottle of Tylenol and a glass of water, handing them both to Zelda. She coaxed Harrison into swallowing two.

  “I didn't feel this shitty when I woke up this morning,” he said, laying his head back down.

  “It can happen fast, especially if you come under sudden stress.” She adjusted the pillows around him then leaned into his face. “Why was Kiley here?” she whispered.

  He looked so pained that it went straight to her heart. He took a couple of breaths, licked his lips. “Zelda,” he started, swallowed. “She's pregnant.”

  Zelda stared at him as her entire body locked up.

  “What did he say?” Sway asked, drawing her gaze up to his frown.

  “Doctor's here,” Sam announced from the doorway.

  Zelda backed up quickly to give the doctor some room to make his examination. She kept going and found herself in the living room of the suite, sitting on the couch. Sway came and sat down beside her.

  “Did he say what I think he said?” he asked quietly.

  She nodded mutely.

  Kiley was pregnant. That's what he had said, right? That's why she was here? To change all of their lives?

  Zelda's blood was on fire. On one hand, she wanted to track Kiley down and demand she take back her lie. On the other, she was paralyzed with too many questions.

  They sat together in silence. Sway reached over and held her hand. Carl and Kendra showed up, and Sam gave them the rundown, they both chose to wait for the doctor to reemerge. It didn't take too long.

  “Chicken pox,” said the doctor. “I'll be back with some antivirals to help make him comfortable, but mostly it's a waiting game.” He looked at the faces around him. Zelda didn't know why he chose to look directly at her to give his final instructions, but he did. “Keep track of his fever. If it gets too high, you'll have to take him to the hospital. Keep him hydrated and comfortable. He shouldn't leave this room until he's no longer contagious. Could be a while.”

  She nodded in understanding.

  “His age,” the doctor hesitated before continuing. “His age will make this very difficult. It's very painful in adult men. You'll have to watch him closely.”

  “I will,” she promised.

  “Good,” he said, looking around the room again. “I'll be back soon.” His eyes settled on Carl. “You may want to watch the rest of your people for symptoms.”

  After he left, Carl faced Zelda. “I know the doctor volunteered you to play nursemaid, but you don't have to.”

  Her eyebrows lifted. “I want to.”

  That was the most rational thought she was capable of at the moment. Harrison was sick, she wasn't leaving. The rest of what was on her mind she couldn't do anything about. Taking care of him would mean she could do something. It gave her some kind of control of the situation, and there was no way she was giving up the tiny little grip she had.

  “Okay, let Kendra know what you need.” Carl scratched the top his head in aggravation. “I better make some phone calls.”

  “Don't they vaccinate for this nowadays?” Kendra asked after Carl had slammed the door with Sam right behind him.

  “Yeah,” Zelda answered, starring at the entrance to the bedroom.

  “That's a fairly new thing,” Sway explained softly. “K, will you have one of the guys bring Zelda's stuff up here? All of her stuff... she won't be able to leave to get it herself.”

  Kendra nodded in agreement. “Yeah, no problem.”

  Then she was gone too, leaving Sway and Zelda alone in the living quarters. Well, mostly alone. The giant secret they both knew about was a huge companion as well. But it wasn't saying anything at the moment.

  “Are you okay?” Sway asked gently. Zelda realized he was still holding her hand when he squeezed.

  “I have no idea,” she said realistically.

  What did this mean for them? For her? Should she even be assuming that it meant something for her at all? Was that presumptuous? What if all it meant was that
she was no longer a part of Harrison's future?

  Or maybe she still was, but now she was going to be a step-mom.

  That was a scenario she'd never entertained before.

  It kind of made her woozy.

  “You should go be with Harrison,” Sway encouraged her. He stood up and pulled her with him. “I'm gonna run an errand, but I'll be back to check on you both later.”

  She agreed with that and started to take the steps to make that happen. Being with Harrison was the important thing right now. The thing she could do and do correctly. She was almost to the doorway of the bedroom when she turned to face Sway, who was watching her closely. “Where are you going?”

  He shrugged. “Nowhere you need to know about.”

  She nodded. Too many worries were already ricocheting in her head; she didn't have room for one more.

  ***

  The knock at her door came a lot later than she had expected. Kiley had thought that her news was significant enough to warrant a decision much sooner than a week. She understood he would have to have some time to break the news to his new girl, then he should have come straight to her.

  Of course, maybe the new girl didn't take it that well. Maybe they had fought. Maybe he was trying to comfort her.

  Kiley pushed down the doubt and second-guessing. She didn't have time for any of that now. She'd already made her decision and no matter what, she was sticking to it.

  The person at her door was not who she expected it to be.

  “We need to talk,” Sway said by way of greeting as he stepped past her into her room.

  “Sway, why don't you come right on in,” she said sarcastically, closing the door behind him.

  She and Sway had never been each other's favorite people. He openly disliked her and she mostly pretended he didn't exist.

  He spun on her, his look thunderous. “What's your game, Kiley?”

  “Game?” She screwed up her face, annoyed with his very existence. “What game?”

  “Whose is it, Kiley?” he yelled, his Boston accent suddenly very noticeable. He was such a dick.

  “What the hell are you talking about?” she shot back.

  “The baby!” He flung his arm out towards her. “Who does the baby belong to?”