Left to Love (The Next Door Boys)

by Jolene Perry

  “Nathan’s okay. Your mom’s fine. I think it’s making her crazy to be there instead of here, but I kept telling her how happy it made you to know that Nathan was with his Grandma. I think she really liked that.”

  “You’re a good man, Bri.” He wasn’t just taking care of me—he was taking care of my mom and Nathan, too. How much more would be have to shoulder?

  He came over and took my hand. “I love you, Leigh.”

  “I love you.” I wanted to make up for my rant about chemo treatments from a few minutes ago. “You know what’s good about all of this?”

  “What?” He cocked his head to the side and looked at me carefully.

  “Neither of us cares that I did a dress for Noah’s bride, even though you were right about that one.” I smiled. “And I don’t care that I feel left out of the argument between you and Amanda.”

  “And who knows, maybe you’ll prove me wrong in the end on that one.”

  “Maybe I will.” I sighed. “I’m tired.”

  “Go to sleep.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  He’d be here. Brian would be here. The thought felt good. I slowly drifted back off.

  TEN

  I got to go home Friday night as promised. With all the painkillers they’d gotten for me, I actually didn’t feel as bad as I expected. It felt good to give my mom a hug and give her that reassurance. Nathan gave me the most gentle hug. He must have gotten a lecture from my mom, Brian, or both.

  “Can I walk you to our room?” Brian smiled down at me. He was already half holding me up.

  “Do I have a choice?” I asked.

  “I’m trying to make it feel like you have one. Does that count?”

  That was really sweet. “It does count and I’d love for you to walk me to our room.”

  “Can I see your new scars?” Nathan asked from behind us in the hallway.

  “They’re not scars yet,” I explained. “They still have big band aids on them.”

  “Oh.” He frowned in disappointment.

  Brian lowered my body slowly onto our bed.

  “Nathan. I promise that as soon as the band aids come off, you can see them, okay?” Nathan felt like the brightest spot I had in that moment. So simple, he just wanted to check out the new scars. I wanted to pull him into bed with me, to wrap my arms tightly around him, and feel him fall asleep.

  “Grandma Lila said that I have to be really careful around you for a while.”

  “Yep. They had to take out more broken parts and it just hurts a little for a few days.” I didn’t want to cheat him out of an answer, but some things were going to be hard to hide.

  “Do I have broken parts?” he asked. He grabbed his stomach, his brow furrowed in concentration.

  “Nope.” I pinched his chest. “Nothing’s broken in Nathan.” I tickled his tummy until he laughed. That was the end of my strength. I let my hand drop. “Nathan, I’m taking a lot of medicine right now, and it makes me sleepy. I’m going to go to sleep, okay?”

  “Goodnight, Leigh.” He leaned forward and gave me a kiss.

  “Goodnight, Nathan.” I waved at him as he ran to his room.

  Brian sat on the edge of the bed.

  “It feels so nice to be home.” I breathed in smelling our house and our room and felt nothing but comfort.

  “Do you want to be in here by yourself? Will I hurt you or keep you awake?”

  “No. I need you here.” I reached up and touched his neck with my hand.

  He took my hand in his and brought my palm to his mouth to give me a kiss.

  “Maybe we could share a snack and then you can take something to make sure you don’t wake up uncomfortable in the middle of the night?”

  “Okay.” He was trying to make it sound like I had choices again.

  He came back a few minutes later followed by Mom with cereal and fruit. He helped me half sit in a position where I felt comfortable and could eat.

  “Thanks mom, for taking care of Nathan.” I looked up. “Grandma Lila, huh?”

  She smiled. “It was his idea and I have to admit that I love it. He’s such a good kid.”

  “I know.” I’d missed him.

  “If either of you needs anything tonight, don’t hesitate to ask, okay?”

  “Thanks, Lila,” Brian said. “Honestly the best thing you can do is to get a good night’s sleep. Nathan doesn’t have school tomorrow.”

  “Jaron and Megan want to take him up north to the zoo.”

  “Perfect.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  She leaned over to give me a hug. It must be weird for her. She’d been the one to take care of me last time. Now I had Brian. Life really did change so much when you got married. I wanted Brian here. I wanted him next to me.

  “I’m starting to feel foggy again.” I smiled apologetically.

  “Let’s lay down.” He carefully helped me get comfortable. It took a few readjustments and about five pillows. Brian moved me easily. He was so strong. I forgot sometimes how strong he was.

  We lay down in our own bed facing one another.

  “You amaze me, Leigh. You will always amaze me.” He touched the edges of my hair with his fingers.

  “You amaze me too, Brian.” I took his hand in mine. “I’m proud of you, and I’m even more proud to be your wife.”

  “Thank you.” He leaned forward to kiss me. I reached out to hold him next to me and to make sure he gave me the proper kind of kiss before leaning back.

  He chuckled at me as he pulled away. “I can’t believe you even want to kiss me like that.”

  I smiled back. And then I closed my eyes and drifted off under the heavy weight of whatever medicine I’d just taken.

  - - -

  “I have a surprise for you.” Brian came and sat next to me on our bed.

  A week after surgery, and there was only a small amount of soreness left. Quick recoveries weren’t like me, but I was grateful anyway. “Is that so?” I shifted toward him and rested my nose on his cheek.

  “Come on outside.” He stood and held out his hand for me to take. “It’s remarkably warm for being October.”

  “Okay.” What on earth could Brian be surprising me with? I followed him, sliding my hand into his.

  He opened the front and gestured for me to walk through. I stopped as soon as I set foot on the large front porch.

  There was an enormous green fabric hammock, easily big enough for two people, hanging between the front porch post and the house. “This is amazing.” I loved the one in the backyard, but the backyard had been taken over by the juvenile group of college girls who lived in the basement.

  “For you, for days when you feel like being outside.”

  “This is what all the banging was this morning?” I looked over my shoulder at him.

  “Yeah. There’s enough room out here for it, and I thought it would be fun.”

  He was nicely saying that he’d made me a place outside for the days when I felt terrible, but needed out of the house. “Thank you.” I turned, leaned into him and loved his arms sliding around me.

  “Brother Wright!” One of the young men interrupted us on the porch.

  “Hey, what are you guys up to?”

  I pulled my head off Brian’s chest to see all the young men and women standing in our front yard.

  “We’re here to help. We brought bags for the leaves and the girls are headed inside to do whatever needs to be done.”

  Brian looked down at me. “Why don’t we get you in your hammock so you’re not tempted to try and join in.”

  I opened my mouth to answer, but Brian scooped me off my feet and set me carefully in the center of the hammock.

  “I’ll be right down guys. Leigh’s mom scoured the already clean house so you girls can make sure Leigh doesn’t move.” He chuckled at me as he stepped down the stairs.

  Brian and the boys cleared the whole yard of leaves and smoothed and raked the gravel driveway for the st
udents who now used it. The girls, as promised, kept me on the porch, talking about school and what movies they couldn’t wait to see. The evening passed quickly.

  “How are you?” Josie asked. We got along so well and she’d been around so much that I forgot how young she was. That she was part of the teenage crowd.

  “Honestly?” I said. “It sucks. I went through all of this once and now I’m doing it again, but it stresses my mom out even more, and now I have to watch Brian and Nathan worry about me as well.” I couldn’t believe how easy it was to be honest with these girls.

  “Well, Brother Wright is pretty cool.” One of the other girls commented.

  “Yes.” I smiled. “He’s the best.”

  “How is it being married?” Josie asked.

  “Well, when you know you’ve married the right guy? It’s amazing. The greatest thing in the world. If I’d married the first guy who asked? Not so much.”

  They exchanged glances.

  “Yes, I was asked before Brian.” I smiled at them.

  Mom brought out what looked like gallons of hot chocolate and pretty soon all the young men and women were crammed onto our front porch.

  “Hey, Brother Wright?” One of the young men asked. “Where’s your guitar?”

  He hadn’t played in a while. I’d missed it. We’d been so busy.

  “Just a minute.” He looked like he was being dragged from his chair on the porch. He emerged from inside a minute later, guitar in hand. “So, what do you want to hear?” he asked.

  “Something Leigh likes.” Josie smiled.

  Brian glanced up at me and then looked down at his guitar thinking. “Oh, right. This is easy.” I listened carefully, if it was something I was supposed to like, I really didn’t want to get it wrong.

  “Really?” I laughed. “Wonderwall? Is that really appropriate? This is sort of a church function.”

  He kept playing the intro, “You know the words, you tell me.” He wanted me to sing. I wasn’t sure. He watched me with the warmest expression—love all over his face.

  I opened my mouth to sing the song and it hit me. He’d played this for me another time. I’d been dating Noah. Brian liked me. I sat next to him on the porch while he played and had no idea how he felt. I’d sung the whole thing while sitting next to him, and I’d had no idea. What a stupid girl I’d been. My jaw dropped open.

  “You played this on purpose,” I said.

  “Yes.” There was a mischievous hint to his smile. “I was asked to.”

  “No, no.” I shook my head. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I played it on purpose then, too.” Something passed between us that everyone on the porch felt. Some of the kids exchanged glances.

  “Kiss her.” I heard a few of the boys say to Brian. They didn’t know exactly what had happened between us, but they knew it was significant. I couldn’t take my eyes from him.

  Brian stood up, walked over to me and kissed me softly on the forehead. I reached out and took his hand, not wanting him to go away.

  “Well, that ends our night.” Brian spoke loud enough for them all to hear, but didn’t take his eyes from mine. “I need someone to say a closing prayer and then you can all head home.” They laughed again quietly.

  One of the young men offered a closing prayer.

  “Thanks for your help.” Brian looked at each of them. “It means a lot.”

  I’d taken Brian’s hand, and wasn’t about to let him go. I found words after they’d all gone down the stairs.

  “I’m sorry for being so completely oblivious.”

  “It all turned out well in the end.” He leaned down and kissed me, letting our lips slowly slide together.

  “Ready to head in?” he asked.

  “Ready to snuggle me to sleep?” I asked back.

  “Anything she wants.” Brian reached out his hands to help me off my hammock and lead me inside.

  Eleven

  FIRST OF TWELVE

  I had almost two weeks of recovery from my surgery before the first chemo treatment. Every other Monday for the next six months would be spent at the hospital.

  “Hello, Leigh.” The nurse looked just a few years older than me. She had gorgeous African American skin with bright blond stripes through her black hair. “I’m Tory. I’m here on Mondays so it looks like we’re going to get to know each other well.” She smiled widely as she hooked the IV port in my arm to the bags overhead. That port would be part of my arm for at least the next six months. I tried not to think that far head. It felt like I’d just done this. Like this was just tacked onto the last round. “I’ve been warned you’re a bit of a lightweight.” She smiled again.

  “You could say that.” I couldn’t look at Brian. I couldn’t look at her. I needed to find my best face first.

  “It’s not a problem, gives me something to do. I’ll go get you a Popsicle hon. I’ll be right back.”

  “One for him too?” I asked. Brian stood next to my bed.

  “Sure.” She pushed the door open and walked out.

  “Climb in with me,” I said after she left. Maybe if Brian were close, it would feel like a lazy day of snuggling in together rather than what it actually was.

  He shook his head.

  “Come on. Please?” I scooted over to make room. “I want you close to me.” I reached out, pinched his t-shirt with my fingers and gave it a tug.

  “I’m going to get in trouble for this,” he climbed onto the bed, keeping his feet over the side.

  “No you’re not. The girl with the needle in her arm gets whatever she wants.” I raised my eyebrows at him.

  He smiled back.

  “What’s that around your neck?” I pulled on the metal I could see disappearing under his shirt.

  “Those are my dog tags.” He pulled them out of his shirt.

  “Are you afraid of getting lost?” I teased.

  “No.”

  “So, what’s up?” I couldn’t fathom why he had them on.

  “You use them - say if you got captured, to keep track of time.”

  “What do you mean?” I took the metal tags from his grasp.

  “Okay, so you see how they come together with the little metal brackets?”

  I watched his fingers slide down the chain.

  “You can move how far down they’re attached. Now, I have the long one that goes around my neck and two shorter strands that hold each of the tags below.” I watched his hands. “So, you’d move this one over once each day and then after a week had passed, maybe you’d move the one over here to show one week. Then you’d start over with the other short one. You can see how there’s endless possibilities here.”

  “Kind of morbid isn’t it?” I asked.

  “Well, look at the rest of the information, name, social, blood type and religion. Things you’d want to know about a body or someone who’s injured or dying.”

  “I bet that felt heavy around your neck at times.” I looked up at him. We hadn’t talked too much about his military experiences. I knew some of them were great and some I’m sure were worse than anything I could imagine. He’d lost a lot of friends overseas.

  “At times.”

  “So, why do you have them on now?”

  “I’m keeping track, see?” He showed me where he’d painted a few of the links black on one of the shorter strands.

  “So, what are the marks for?”

  “Well, every time we come in for this.” He gestured to the room. “We get to move the bracket down one. When we get to the first mark, we’re at the halfway point.”

  “And the second one is when we’re done,” I said.

  “Yes. And then Dr. Watts said a few weeks after that, we’d have some results back so I have that marked as well.”

  “And what’s the last one for?”

  “I don’t know. Something life changing,” he smiled. “It doesn’t have to be exact. I thought maybe we’d put in for adoption. We’ve talked about moving. My hope is that by then you’ll
be excited about doing something different, even if you don’t feel perfect.”