Eternal Mourning

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “It’s fine,” she said, knowing her words were honest ones. She wasn’t sure if wolves could taste a lie like they could in books, but she wasn’t going to start lying when it seemed that her life was on the line. “There’s no easy way to say that.” Or any way at all, really.

  “I’m not a witch, nor do I know if it was a witch who did this to you,” Walker continued, ignoring the others in the room. The girls paced around him while Mitchell studied his cousin, but Aimee only saw all of this out of the corner of her eye. She wasn’t sure what Walker noticed, but he was a shifter, and probably saw a lot more than she did.

  “A lot of things can cause curses,” Mitchell added. “Though witches are the ones who usually do it,” he said, echoing his mate’s words.

  “All I know is that I know.” Walker let out a growl before visibly slowing his breathing. “And I hate this magic crap that gives me no words, no guidance.” He held out the book with a torn leather spine and frowned at it. “I can read about what might be harming you, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to do anything about it. I’ll talk to Leah and the other witches, but they might not know either. I’m a Healer, but I can only Heal Pack.” He looked at her as if he were trying to convey something she couldn’t understand. “Humans can’t enter the Pack,” he said slowly, and Mitchell cursed.

  “They can if they’re mates, but they have to be changed soon after,” Mitchell growled. And before Aimee could react to anything either of them had just said, her friend’s mate continued, “I’ve heard of a couple of humans being allowed into a Pack without mating bonds, but it’s not a proven thing. Hell, Gideon could slice your hand right now and try to form a Pack bond, but that doesn’t mean the moon goddess will grant it.”

  Aimee held her hand up. “Wait, what on earth are you talking about? You’re like ten steps ahead of me here, and I hate feeling like I’m always trying to catch up.”

  “What they’re saying is that Walker thinks the only way to Heal you is if you’re Pack, and the only way to become Pack, is to no longer be human, am I on the right track?” Dawn asked, her eyes going gold.

  Aimee knew enough about her friend to know that meant that Dawn’s wolf was now at the surface. Suddenly, the reality of her new circumstances settled in, and she almost had to sit down. She was in a room with three shifters who were talking about her humanity and curses from witches as if it were a regular occurrence. At some point, she’d like to get off the wild train from Hell and find a way back to sanity again.

  “That’s an option,” Walker said. “We need to talk to the witches. We need to figure this out. Because you smell of magic, and I’ll be damned if I let whoever did this to you win.”

  There was such sincerity in his voice that she almost lost the words’ meaning at first.

  She smelled of magic?

  She was only a human. A now-former waitress with a friend who happened to be a wolf. She wasn’t anyone special.

  She was just a dying mortal.

  But from the look in his eyes, Aimee had a feeling that all of that was now in her past. She only had to take a deep breath and figure out the next step.

  When she did, however, she hoped she was strong enough to find her way when the dust settled.

  CHOICE

  Blade had one choice, one chance, really. He knew what must be done to ensure his role and keep his plans on the right track, he just hated that he had to do it at all. No, he didn’t care that someone had to die to make sure his plans came to fruition, but he did hate the fact that he had to take such a risk this early in the game.

  Annoyed that he had to go to these extremes at this stage, he let out a growl that would have startled most mortals.

  The red witch in front of him wasn’t most people, nor was she truly mortal anymore. She’d mated into his Pack after all, and because of that, she had the perk of a longer life than most of her kind could ever even dream of.

  It took great sacrifice for a witch to live past her mortal years if she couldn’t find her mate within a shifter Pack, and Scarlett, Blade’s personal fire witch, had found hers years ago. At least, that’s what Blade had always been led to believe. He didn’t think a witch could force a mating to find immortality, but then again, mating bonds weren’t something he really cared about too much.

  He’d had his mate once—just long enough to have his son, Chase—and when he lost her in one of his prior battles, he’d grieved in his own way. After all, that meant he couldn’t have any more of his progeny out in the world since, in order for shifters to have children, they had to be mated first.

  He’d at least shown grief to those who mattered, and they had rallied around him, securing his place as the beloved Alpha of the Aspen Pack. Those under him had gathered together to give him their strength—at least most of them.

  His Beta, Audrey, a lion shifter with an attitude, was starting to ping his radar, and he had a feeling she would soon become more trouble than she was worth. As long as she didn’t get in the way of his ultimate plans, she’d survive. But if she did? Well, it looked as if he might need a new Beta soon.

  “Are you almost done?” Blade asked, stalking towards his witch.

  Scarlett looked up from her cauldron—because, apparently, a bowl would be too mundane for this witch—and raised a brow. “Magic takes time, Blade. You know this. If you want me to do your dirty work, stop breathing down my neck. It’s unbecoming.”

  He flipped her off, but she just rolled her eyes and got back to work. She’d been dealing with this spell for a few hours now, and he was already tired of it. He needed it to work so he could move on to the next phase of his plan.

  In order for him to become Supreme Alpha—the Alpha of all Alphas and a title not yet bestowed upon a wolf in this day—he needed to have the loyalty of all of the Packs in the United States and, ultimately, the world. Right now, however, that allegiance seemed to be with his rivals—the Talons and Redwoods. Both of those Packs had caused so much disaster and terror within the past thirty years with their wars and the Unveiling, yet the other Packs looked up to them for guidance and lauded them for the way “they took care of it.”

  Blade barely held back a snort. All they did was create more uncertainty for all the Packs, but did anyone see that but him? No.

  Who had been the one to protect his Pack from all prying eyes over time—human or wolf? Him.

  Who had been the one to ensure the secrecy of cat shifter even within the wolf shifter den and mythology? Him.

  Who had kept his other secrets from the others? Him.

  After all, until recently, no one but his Pack knew that shifters could also be cats, but he had a feeling that was out of the bag thanks to the meddling Beta below him.

  Blade needed power and respect, and in order to get that, he needed all of the Packs to look to him for guidance, not the Talons or Redwoods. The problem with that plan at the moment was that there was only one wolf connecting them all through treaties and understandings.

  And it wasn’t an Alpha.

  No, it was the Voice of the Wolves who had visited each and every Pack around the globe to ensure that they were all connected to the Talon Alpha instead of Blade.

  So, Blade would use his witch to take out the Voice of the Wolves and step into that role when it was time.

  No one would miss Parker, not when Blade’s witch was done with him.

  Parker was a son of the Redwoods, but he was now a Talon. Take him out, hurt the Pack, leave a hole for Blade to step into.

  The plan was perfect.

  And from the grin on Scarlett’s face, it was time to put it into action.

  Finally.

  Chapter Five

  Walker had seriously gone off the deep end. He wasn’t able to communicate, and he only had his lack of sleep—and his dick—to blame. If he hadn’t been so head over heels in…whatever the fuck he was with Aimee, maybe he could have formed a rational sentence. As it was, he felt as if he were going full-pace twenty steps ahead, when they s
hould be back at the starting line trying to figure out what the next step was.

  Throughout it all, though, he had to wonder, was she his mate?

  Was that why he was acting this way? Or was it because of his call as Healer?

  The latter seemed like a cop-out, but the former wasn’t a guarantee, not with the changes in the mating bonds—the other part of the puzzle he’d been trying to figure out.

  Annoyed with himself for letting his mind wander again, he stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower. He hadn’t bothered to put on pajamas the night before or even sleep in his boxers since he’d, once again, slept at his desk, trying to research how the hell to help Aimee. Now, his body not only hurt, it also didn’t smell the best.

  Not the greatest way to meet the woman constantly on his mind.

  He let the hot water slide over him and his aching muscles as he thought about Aimee and what she could be to him. This wasn’t the first time she’d been on his mind when he was thinking about mates, and he had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last. She called to his wolf like no other, and though he didn’t have that automatic feeling that told him a mating bond could happen, he knew, just like he knew about the curse. There was something special about her.

  But before he could do anything about it and discover what his feelings might be, he had to erase the dark circles under her eyes and the fear within their depths.

  He couldn’t lose her, not when he’d potentially just found her.

  And even if she weren’t his mate, he couldn’t lose her. He liked her, and she deserved far better than the hand she’d been dealt. Once he found a way to Heal her, she’d be whole again, and then he could see if she were truly his mate.

  Because, like he said, though he couldn’t seem to carry on a coherent conversation when it came to her, he couldn’t stop wanting her.

  Hence his complicated mindset at the moment.

  With a sigh, he quickly finished his shower before toweling off and figuring out what he was going to do with his day. His infirmary was, thankfully, empty, and he didn’t have any appointments today. There were a couple of pregnant wolves in the den, and he’d find a way to check on them without making them feel like they needed him to, but other than that, he had the whole day to do research.

  And talk to Aimee.

  He couldn’t help himself. There was this need to be in her presence that went far beyond that of a Healer, and that meant he would have to do what he could just to be near her. After throwing on whatever clothes were handy, he rolled back his shoulders and headed toward Mitchell and Dawn’s. Though Aimee had an apartment in town, they’d all convinced her to stay within the den for the night so their wolves could settle.

  Most of them were so dominant, they’d never be able to let a weaker person in their care out of their sight without doing something to protect them. While Walker wasn’t as dominant as Mitchell or even Dawn, he felt the same as they did about Aimee’s wellbeing.

  Well, maybe not exactly the same, but that was something he and Aimee would have to discuss. For all that he’d desired a mate in the past, Walker honestly had no idea what the next step was in actually figuring it all out, especially when the other person wasn’t a wolf. Most of his brothers had mated wolves who felt—or would have felt—the tug just like they did, and the others had special circumstances that led to their mating. Only his sister, Brynn, had been through the horror of finding out her mate felt nothing when it came to a mating bond until it was nearly too late. Everything had worked out for her and her mate, Finn, but it had almost cost the two of them too much.

  Walker wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle it if what happened to Finn happened to Aimee, but since the woman on his mind was already sick, and he was helpless to do anything about it, he knew things might only get worse before they got better.

  Before he could head to Aimee, however, he had to deal with the wolf on his porch. His brother and Alpha, Gideon, had arrived about five minutes earlier and had just taken a seat in the rocking chair instead of coming inside. That meant that his brother had things on his mind but wasn’t in too much of a hurry. Either that, or he knew Walker would be right out. Though Gideon wasn’t a foreseer like their sister-in-law, Avery, his brother’s sense of what was coming was sometimes uncanny. Walker supposed that was what happened when one was connected to each and every member of the Pack at such a deep and visceral level.

  “Did you want coffee?” Walker asked as he stood in his open doorway.

  Gideon shook his head. “I had some with Brie earlier. She and Fallon are headed to the nursery early today, so I had a little time this morning to chat.”

  Walker held back a wince at the emphasis on the word chat before taking a seat in the rocking chair next to Gideon’s. “What did I do?”

  His Alpha sighed. “Nothing, you honestly haven’t done a single thing, and I’m not sure why I’m even here other than to lend support or be an ear if you need it.”

  Walker didn’t say anything, knowing his brother would let him know what was on his mind eventually.

  “I don’t know what we can do, Walker.” Gideon’s voice was low, his wolf quietly on edge but not fully at the forefront yet. “You know the new rules that came into effect when we made the treaty with the humans. We can’t make new wolves right now, not with so many eyes on us. After what happened to Avery on camera and how she was forced into changing…the humans are watching us so damn closely, it could do more harm than good. For everyone. There’s really no protocol right now for what happens if we change a human to a wolf, but if the humans find out, they could take Aimee away from us. Or start another all-out war.”

  The wolf was fully in Gideon’s voice now, and Walker couldn’t blame him. The wolves and humans had only been at tentative peace for a little over a year now, and one of the more recent concessions was that no more humans could be turned into shifters…unless they were mates of the wolves.

  And the latter part wasn’t something understood by the humans enough for anyone to know what would happen if someone was turned. Walker knew Gideon hadn’t agreed to the rule, and no other Alpha had either, but they hadn’t been able to shut it down completely either, not when they were trying to keep the peace. Hence why it was a rule and not a law.

  “Is she your mate?” Gideon asked, his voice soft now, though still rough with his wolf.

  “I don’t know.” Walker paused, his wolf pressing him to continue. “You know the mating bonds aren’t the same as they were even a year ago.” Gideon nodded. “What if she’s not my mate? What if this is just attraction, and I tell her that it could be a mating? Not only would I be hurting her unnecessarily, I could be giving her hope that maybe our potential mating bond could save her. I don’t know if I can do that to her.”

  They were silent for a little while longer before Gideon stood up, his attention on the horizon and the rising sun through the trees instead of Walker.

  “We’re going to fix the mating bonds,” Gideon said after a moment. “I know it. Our wolves can’t continue to live this way, in the unknown. It’s not healthy for the Pack. And I know it’s my fault the bonds are screwed up because I changed the blood bonds of the Pack in order to save another, but we’re going to find a way to change it back.”

  Walker hoped that was the case; after all, when he wasn’t focusing on Aimee’s curse, he was looking into past archives to see if this had ever happened before. Wolves were so long-lived that it was a possibility that the mating bonds had been changed in a previous lifetime.

  “Don’t hide who you are or what you could be,” Gideon continued. “I did that once and almost lost everything. It may be that neither of you has anything to lose by trying. Tell her what’s on your mind, Walker. I have a feeling she might already know more than you think.” And with that cryptic comment, his Alpha walked away, leaving Walker alone with his thoughts for a few long moments.

  “Stop being a coward,” he whispered to himself.

  His wolf growl
ed in agreement.

  When he found himself at Mitchell and Dawn’s door, it was Aimee who answered. She had dark circles under her eyes, and he swore she’d lost more weight overnight, but she still gave him a tentative smile when she saw him. She also rolled back her shoulders and showed the inner strength and grace he’d come to admire in the time he’d gotten to know her.

  “Dawn said it was you at the door so I should answer,” Aimee said by way of greeting. “That whole sense of smell thing gets a bit weird after a while, no?”

  Walker smiled, his body relaxing at the sound of her soothing voice. “I’d say you get used to it, but even after all these years, I have days where I’d rather not have my presence announced so quickly.”

  She met his gaze and smiled again. “What do you say we go for a walk? I know you’re here to talk, and I could use some air. Plus, apparently, having a conversation with wolves around means there’s no such thing as privacy.”

  Walker held out a hand, hoping he was doing the right thing. “I think that sounds like a good idea. And you’re right, there’s never any privacy when you’re surrounded by wolves.”

  Especially if they’re his well-meaning family.

  He took her through the wards to the neutral territory right outside the den. They weren’t at war anymore, and no one was forced to stay inside the boundaries any longer. There were still sentries and guards on duty at all times, but there wasn’t the sense of impending danger that there had been for so long after the Unveiling when the humans were at war with the wolves.

  “It smells so clean out here,” Aimee said. “You could almost forget that there’s a major city not too far away, you know?”

  Walker nodded. “That’s why the Pack bought all this land centuries ago. No matter how much money some companies throw at us, they can’t buy our commitment to what keeps us sane. It’s our home.”

  “It’s beautiful.”