Snared (Jaded Regret #1)

by L. L. Collins

  “What’s the matter?” Beau asked.

  “Do I . . . should I call you Beau or Dad?”

  As he turned to me, I could see unease written all over his face. I held his gaze, trying to give him encouragement without saying a word. “You can call me whatever you’re comfortable with. As long as it’s not JerkFace or something.”

  Robbie laughed. “I’d like to call you Dad. I’ve never gotten to call anyone that before. As long as you’re okay with it . . .”

  “Robbie, I am your dad. It’s okay with me. It’s more than okay.”

  Robbie sat up and wrapped his slender arms around Beau’s neck again. “Thank you,” he whispered.

  “You don’t have anything to thank me for,” Beau said gruffly. Seeing Robbie wrapped in Beau’s arms was something that I’d never take for granted. It was a hard earned victory for both of them.

  “Uh huh.” Robbie leaned back. “You didn’t have to take me. I could still be in that group home.”

  “No way.” Robbie settled back into his pillow and Beau tucked the blanket around him, a big yawn taking over his body. “Time for bed, buddy. We’ll have more time tomorrow to talk and play.”

  Beau stood up, and I followed.

  “Dad?” Robbie’s small voice saying that simple name had us both turning back to face him. “Is . . . April going to be my mom?”

  I could see panic written all over his face at Robbie’s question. I put my hand on his arm. “Robbie, I would like that very much, but I never want to replace your mom.”

  “My mom died,” Robbie said. “She didn’t love me enough to stay.”

  I crouched down next to his bed. “That’s not true, Robbie. She was sick.”

  “The drugs made her sick?”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  “She’d be happy I was with my daddy now. And you, April. You love B—Dad, right?”

  I glanced over my shoulder at Beau, still frozen in place from Robbie’s question. “Yes, Robbie. I love him. He’s the greatest man I’ve ever known.”

  He nodded, accepting my answer. “He loves you, too. We’ll be a family now.” Robbie rolled on his side like it was that simple. Well, I guessed it could be. “Good night.”

  “Good night, Robbie.” I leaned down and kissed his temple, watching as Beau came back and ruffled his hair, and we made our way out of the room.

  I shut the door softly behind us, turning to see Beau resting his head against the wall, his chest heaving like he’d just run a marathon.

  “Beau.” I placed my hands on his firm chest. “What’s going through your head? Talk to me.” It was dark in the hallway, and I could barely make him out, but I knew enough to know he was battling with something.

  He reached his hand out and pulled me flush to him. He bent down and buried his face in my neck and wrapped his arms around me. I began running my fingers through his hair, sighing as my body relaxed against his. God, I’d missed him. I wasn’t sure if I would ever have this again.

  His body shuddered, and that’s when I felt it. Tears dripped down my neck and chest. They were coming from Beau. His hands gripped the back of my shirt as he let go. I couldn’t stop my flow of tears from joining his. We were silent, both of us clutching on to the other in the darkness of my hallway, but no words were needed.

  “April,” he said finally, his voice barely a croak. He sniffled, lifting his face from my neck. He was baring himself to me; every single part of him was wide opened and exposed right now.

  “Beau.” I lifted my hands until I was using my thumbs to wipe the tears from under his eyes.

  He shook his head like he was trying to rid himself of whatever he was thinking. He kissed me, his lips soft and gentle against mine. “Thank you,” he said against my lips. “For everything. For not being afraid of me. For loving me. For wanting to be part of our life. I . . . I have a son.”

  “Yes you do, and he’s amazing, just like his father.”

  He studied me for a second before grabbing my hand and leading me wordlessly down the hall to my bedroom.

  Beau closed the door silently behind us. I heard the click of the lock and smiled. It had been what I was wishing for but was afraid to hope for too much. He’d been through a lot, and I wasn’t sure if he was up for anything more.

  My room was dark, but he found me easily, coming up behind me and pulling my hair off of my neck. When his lips touched the skin of my neck, my knees buckled and a small moan escaped my lips. The combination of his soft beard and warm lips made my eyes roll in my head.

  Beau wrapped his arm around my waist as I sagged against him. His lips kissed up and down my neck and ear, his breathing erratic as he became aroused, pressing himself into me as he continued to kiss me.

  “Beau.” I reached my arms behind me so I could touch his face.

  He turned me so I was facing him, shifting my hair on the other side so he could suckle the other side of my neck. Goose bumps broke out on my skin as he simultaneously set me on fire and gave me the chills. My fingers traveled down his chest and lifted his shirt. He broke away for a second as I pulled it over his head. Feeling his bare skin against my fingertips had me throwing my head back farther. He took that opportunity to travel down my chest, his mouth leaving marks on my shirt as he kissed and bit through my clothes.

  He made quick work of my shirt and bra, moving deftly for a man with only one hand with full motion. We stood there, topless, in front of each other. Our eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and there was just enough light coming in from the street light outside for me to see his dark eyes drinking in every inch of me.

  “I want it all, April.” His low voice made my stomach tingle and desire zing through my body.

  “Take it all,” I whispered, resting my hands on the button of his jeans. I unbuttoned them slowly, my eyes locked onto his. He smirked, the one I loved so much and then mirrored my actions, his one hand slowly working on my pants. Wanting to help, I assisted his efforts. I couldn’t wait for that cast to come off, too. I wanted him right now, fast, hard, and however we could get it, but I also wanted to enjoy every single second of what was happening right now. There had been times I’d thought we’d never be close like this again, and I needed to be thankful for every second of this.

  Beau was mumbling under his breath, but I didn’t worry what he was saying because his gentle touch on my skin told me it was his way of worshiping me. I didn’t need to hear him—I felt his words. My pants dropped to the floor, him working faster than me. He hooked his fingers in the string sides of my thong and pulled me to him.

  “I’ve woken up hard so many mornings dreaming of you, but I refused to allow myself to think I could have this again. I didn’t think I deserved it.”

  I shoved his pants to the floor and took his shaft in my hand, enjoying the soft skin around his hard length. He hissed, pushing into my hand automatically as I alternated pressure with soft strokes. “You deserve everything and then some.” I lifted my face so I could kiss him.

  He growled, thrusting his tongue into my mouth as we lost control, our mouths tasting, nipping, and devouring each other. The fingers of his good hand traveled south, cupping me through the scrap of lace I was still wearing. I squirmed, needing him. He held the back of my head with his other hand. The hard cast was rough on my scalp, but I didn’t care. All I could think about was his tongue caressing mine and his fingers skating across my sensitive skin.

  I panted into his mouth as he moved the small piece of lace to the side and sunk two fingers inside me. Beau sucked my tongue into his mouth, his fingers and tongue in tandem. I pumped him harder, feeling him grow longer with every stroke.

  He stepped forward, pushing me until I hit the edge of my bed. He withdrew from me completely, watching me with hooded eyes as I slid the thong off of my legs and dropped it to the floor. He drank in every part of me, his eyes starting on my face and heading to my chest, then to my stomach and finally where I was open and ready for him. He began stroking himself, and I watc
hed.

  “Touch yourself,” Beau said. I watched as he continued gripping himself. I’d never done that in front of anyone before, but he made me want to . . .

  I reached my hand down and felt how aroused I already was. The second my fingers began working against my sensitive skin Beau’s eyes widened, and he dropped his hand from his dick. He caged himself around me and attacked my mouth, moaning as he put his hand on top of mine and guided me into myself. This was . . . hot. His fingers moved with mine, rubbing and teasing as I sighed into his mouth.

  “Baby, that feels so good,” he whispered against my mouth. “You like that?”

  I nodded, words escaping me. I reached for him, but he moved out of my grasp, his mouth trailing a path of desire down my neck and to my breast. He continued pushing his fingers inside of me as he swirled his tongue around my pebbled nipple.

  “Beau.” I arched my back, the sensations taking over my body. He wasn’t even close to entering me yet, and I already wanted to let go. His lips traveled to my other breast, biting my nipple softly as I cried out, holding on to his head as he headed south. Oh God, he was going to . . . I was never going to survive it.

  He kneeled next to my bed, his eyes glancing up at me and then back to watch his fingers move inside me. “So fucking sweet.” He blew a cool breath across my flushed skin and I writhed. I was so close.

  Beau gripped my thigh and pulled me so I was hanging off the edge of the bed. Before I could register he’d removed his fingers, his mouth was on me. He moved his tongue in and out and then sucked my clit into his mouth. I bucked my hips off the bed and moved my head back and forth, the sensation so great I could hardly handle it.

  When he added his fingers back, I lost control. My body shuddered on him, and I rode him with abandon, calling his name out over and over. As I came down, he began kissing the insides of my thighs, and then my lower stomach, my breasts, and back up to my mouth.

  “April, I need you.”

  “You have me.” He had me in every single way he could think of and then some.

  He lifted my hands above my head and laced the fingers of his uncasted hand with mine. I was so wound up I didn’t think it would matter what the hell he did, he just needed to touch me, and now. I felt him kneel on the bed and shift my legs farther apart before he came over me. His lips reached for mine, and we started a slow, sensual dance together. Our heart rates slowed, and soft sighs and moans began as Beau guided himself to my entrance. I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled him into me, needing him to satisfy the unrelenting desire I had for him.

  Beau filled me to the hilt before pulling back. His lips began a path down my neck again as he teased me. “Beau. Please. More. Harder.”

  Beau smiled, and my heart stuttered. I would never tire of seeing that man smile at me. “What my lady wants, my lady gets.” He rolled over so he was lying flat on the bed, his erection jutting out with an invitation. My eyes raked up and down the gorgeous body of the man I loved. I climbed over him, balancing my hands on his chest as I took him inside me.

  It was his turn for his eyes to roll back as I began moving on top of him, the feeling of him inside me filling me with desire. His hands roamed as I lifted up and down on him. He cupped my breasts, using his stomach muscles to sit up and suckle both of them while I continued to grind on him. I leaned over and gripped my headboard, throwing my head back as he sent me into yet another orgasm. He gripped my hips and pounded into me as he followed with his release.

  As we started coming down from our high, I laid on his chest. He was still inside me, and we were still breathing heavy from the exertion and the epic orgasms, but I didn’t care. I caressed his face, memorizing every single detail about him as we lay here together on my bed.

  “I love you,” Beau said, shocking me. I knew he’d said it before, and I believed him, but there was something about him saying it right after we’d made love that drove it further home for me.

  Tears pricked the backs of my eyes, but I was tired of crying. I was so happy I could barely stand it, and that left no room for tears. “I love you, too.” I ran my fingertips over his dark eyebrows and down his cheeks. My lips touched his nose ring and moved down to his lips. “You are the sexiest man I’ve ever seen in my life.”

  He laughed, his chest shaking. Beau turned us so we were lying on our sides, facing each other. “I would’ve never in my life thought someone would think that about me. I mean, we get all sorts of groupies who say shit, but that’s because they think there’s something to going to bed with a rocker. To hear it come from you means everything to me. And for the record, you are the sexiest woman in the entire world.” Beau ran his fingers down between my naked breasts and I felt him stir to life again. “The first time I saw you? My brain left me, and I couldn’t think of one intelligible thing to say. You intimidated me.”

  “Why? I’m not intimidating.”

  Beau ran his fingers along my hip, making me shudder. “Because you were—and are—every single thing I always wanted but never thought I deserved to have.”

  “I don’t want you to think you have to hide anything from me, Beau. Not now, not ever. The good, the bad, the in-between. I want to be part of everything. That’s what people do who love each other.”

  Beau nodded, pushing himself inside my wet center again. “I love being inside you. His fingers flexed on my hip as he held me in place. “It’s made just for me.” He took a nipple into his mouth and sucked it, his tongue swirling around my nub. “These breasts.” He whispered against my skin, making my nipple even harder. “They’re nothing short of perfection. I’m going to spend my life worshiping them.”

  Beau moved in and out of me, slow but steady. I reached between us and touched him as he entered me, feeling where we were joined. “This?” I started, making his eyes widen. “I love every single inch of it. It pleases me like nothing I’ve ever felt in my life.” I removed my hand and put my thumb in his mouth so he could taste me. “This mouth? The way it kisses me? I’ll never tire of that. It gives me goose bumps and makes me so horny.”

  “April, you’re killing me.”

  I leaned over so my lips were next to his ear. “You know what I want?”

  Beau pushed harder inside me, and I nodded.

  “Yeah, baby. Just like that. Give it to me hard.” Our eyes met, and he stared at me for a moment, gauging how serious I was. When I nodded, he pulled out of me and rolled me onto my stomach. Crouching over me, he kissed along my spine and down to my ass. He spread my legs and lifted my hips. Beau caressed my ass and then dipped two fingers back inside me. He ground against me as he pleased me. I gripped the sheets in front of me, craving everything all at once.

  Just before I started begging, Beau gripped my hips and slammed into me. We both stilled at the sensation. “Fuck.” He pumped into me. “That’s . . .”

  I groaned, throwing my head back as he held my hip, his punishing pace almost painful, yet the most amazing feeling I’d ever had. He grunted as I pushed back against him, needing to experience every bit of what he was giving me. He leaned over me, and with his good hand, reached around and began rubbing my clit, his breath hot in my ear.

  “Beau.” I clenched on him as I rode out yet another orgasm. He began moving faster, so hard it made my eyes water with ecstasy.

  “Yes!” he shouted as I felt him emptying inside me. “Oh, my God, April. That was . . .” He pulled out and walked to my bathroom, coming back quickly with a warm washcloth.

  I’d rolled over and he opened my legs and cleaned me up before using it on himself. He tossed it to the ground and climbed in next to me.

  “Never in my life.” He trailed off and wrapped his arms around me. I laid my head on his chest, the pounding of his heart in tandem with mine as he, too, came down from the high. I felt his lips press against my hair, and I smiled. My Beau was back.

  “We’re going to have a lot more where that came from.” I hugged him tight. “Thank you for coming back to me, Beau.”


  He reached down and pulled the blanket over us. It had been a long, exhausting, emotional day. We closed our eyes and let our bodies relax into one another. Just before I dozed off, his voice roused me.

  “I came back for you and Robbie. There was always something about you.”

  I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair, a smile on my lips as I replayed last night’s events. I’d woken up early, way too early, and I’d gone in to check on Robbie. He’d been fast asleep—the stuffed dog we’d gotten for him in his arms. Beau hadn’t moved, either, but I knew he was exhausted. I could only imagine what that man had endured over the last week, fighting his way back to me. To us.

  I couldn’t help but wonder what it meant for us now. Would he want me to move with him? Would we be together long distance? Did he want me to be part of Robbie’s life, too? I had so many questions, but I also didn’t want to burden Beau with too much right now. I knew we’d figure it all out in due time.

  I loved living in Orlando, and my parents were here, but I’d give it all up in a second. Camryn and Bella might think I was crazy if I left everything to follow him, but they’d get over it. There wasn’t a shadow of doubt in my mind that I wanted to be with Beau no matter what I had to do. I could transfer offices. I may not be a supervisor, but I didn’t care.

  I turned in the shower, letting the warm water run over my back as I replayed the night with Beau again and again in my mind. I stretched, my muscles sore in the best way. I jumped as I heard the shower door open.

  “I thought you might need some help washing your back.” Beau grabbed my waist and dipped his head down to suck my neck. “Hmmm . . . you smell so good.” He pressed his erection into my back, and I pushed against him, eliciting a groan from him.

  “Did you check on Robbie?” I asked as he rubbed himself against my wet center. Oh yes, I was ready for him.

  “Still asleep.” He bit my shoulder gently while his fingers skated down my skin and inside me. “Oh, someone is ready for me.”

  I groaned. “How could I not be with your sexy self in the shower with me?” I turned my body so I could face him. The water sluiced down his cut body, the lights in the bathroom illuminating the colorful ink all over him. I ran my fingers down his chest and to that mystifying V of muscle that made women stupid. “Tell me about your tattoos.”