Breathless

by Cheryl Douglas

  Family meant everything to him. Their opinion was important, but it wasn’t the deciding factor. If he wanted a relationship with Belinda, he would go to the mat to defend her. But there was only one person he felt that strongly about: Jamie.

  “There’s my ride,” Belinda said when a car pulled into the drive.

  “You’re leaving?” Eli knew he should feel guilty, not relieved, to see her go.

  “Yeah, I’m really not feeling very well. I hope your family will understand. I can go in and explain--”

  “No, it’s okay. You didn’t have to call a friend.” He glanced at the attractive blonde behind the wheel of the compact, late-model car. “If you wanted to go home, I could have taken you.”

  “No sense ruining your dinner.” She kissed his cheek before stepping off the porch. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

  “Yeah, sure.” Eli watched her walk away and tried to collect his thoughts. Would it always be that way? Would every woman remind him of his connection with Jamie? As the car spun dirt down the long private drive, Eli heard the door close behind him.

  “I was just coming out to tell you dinner was ready,” Casey said, touching his back. “Where’d your friend go?”

  “She went home. She wasn’t feeling well.” He didn’t know if that was true. Maybe she couldn’t stand the thought of sitting down with his family. Either way, she was gone.

  “I’m sorry if you feel we drove her away, E. That wasn’t our intent.” Casey sat on the porch swing and patted the striped cushion. “Sit down. Telling me what’s going on with you.”

  Eli didn’t know where to start. He was trying to fill a void by finding a relationship that made sense. “I met Belinda through a dating service.” He sat beside his sister. He needed to unburden himself with someone who knew him well enough to help him.

  “That doesn’t sound like you,” she said quietly, patting his knee.

  “I thought it was time to try something different.” He sighed. “When Jamie came back to town, I really thought it was our time, ya know?”

  “I know you did.”

  “But the more time I spent with her, the more I realized that time’s passed, but nothing’s really changed. She’s still punishing herself for not being faithful to Brent or being the fiancée she thought he deserved.”

  “So you decided to give up and move on with your life. Is that why you went to the dating service?”

  “No, not really. Brent’s fiancée, Ava, owns the dating service. I was kind of curious about her. They’d just started seeing each other when I went to Lasting Connections. She and I developed a friendship after Brent beat the hell out of me that night at Jimmy’s.” Eli smiled when his sister giggled. Time had healed his wounds, and he and Brent had finally found a way to tolerate each other. It was easier since they were no longer in love with the same woman.

  “So Ava suggested you give her service a try?”

  “I made the decision.” He tipped his head back and looked at the cloudless sky. When he was a kid, he used to waste summer days looking up at the clouds and daydreaming about how different his life would be when he became a professional hockey player. He’d have everything: fame, respect, money, and a job he loved more than anything. His dream of being a professional athlete came true, but it wasn’t enough. Without someone to share his success, something was still missing.

  “Have you met anyone other than Belinda through the service?”

  His sister was trying to be diplomatic, but Eli knew exactly what she was thinking. “I like Belinda. I know she’s different than the women I usually go for, but I think she’s different in a good way.” He’d never brought any of his dates home for Sunday dinner, but they’d often hook up with Adam and Casey at Jimmy’s, so she knew his type.

  “I’m not arguing that you need to step out of your comfort zone.” She laughed when Eli frowned. “Come on, you know you’ve just been biding your time with those girls.”

  “I guess.”

  They were silent for a few minutes, watching two squirrels chase each other up and down one of many old oaks in the front yard.

  “Trying to find the polar opposite of Jamie won’t help you get over her.”

  He wondered if that’s what he was doing. “They’re not that different. They’re both successful professionals--”

  “They’re as different as night and day, and you know it. Belinda backed away as soon as poor old Shep got within a few feet of her. She said she had allergies.”

  Shep was the old Border collie his parents got the year Eli moved away. His mother had been missing him like crazy, so Eli’s dad brought the puppy home. He said one of the neighbors was trying to place some puppies he’d found. Since his mother couldn’t turn away a stray, she took him in and showered him with love. Shep had been a part of their family ever since.

  “When Caroline invited her upstairs to see her doll collection, she said, maybe later.”

  Eli sighed. “I don’t want to be alone forever, sis.” He wanted what Casey and Adam had, what his parents had: a partner he could count on.

  “You won’t be.” She moved the swing with her foot and twisted the plain gold band on her finger. “But you’ll be sorry if you rush into something just because it’s easier to be part of a couple than it is to be alone.”

  Something in her voice troubled him. “Are things okay with you and Adam? You guys aren’t having trouble, are you?”

  She shrugged. “Every couple has trouble from time to time, little brother. But don’t worry, we’ll get through it.”

  “You want to talk about it?”

  “If I do, I know where to come.” She smiled as she covered his hand with hers. “The important thing to remember is that you’ll get through the tough times if and only if you’re married to your best friend.”

  Eli thought about that. “What if your best friend doesn’t want to marry you?”

  “Don’t give up on Jamie just yet. Maybe she just needs a little more time to figure things out. It would be a damn shame if you quit on her before she was ready to quit on you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Casey squeezed his hand before pulling away to pull her ponytail loose. She scraped her nails over her scalp. “Sometimes it’s much easier for outsiders to see the obvious. I’ve seen you and Jamie together since y’all were kids. I knew the day you fell in love with her.”

  “You did?” Eli closed his eyes and remembered the night everything changed. He and Jamie had snuck out to go to a drive-in movie. They were lying in the cab of his buddy’s truck on a blanket, staring up at the stars. They weren’t paying attention to the movie; talking was more fun. He’d had a moment of clarity that night. He didn’t care about the big-busted cheerleaders willing to put out in the backseat of his old car or the popular girls who asked him to be their date to Homecoming because he was a star athlete. He cared about spending time with his best friend, because there was nowhere else he’d rather be and no one else he’d rather be with.

  “I was at the kitchen table when you snuck in, remember?” Casey laughed. “Daddy had taken away the keys to your car because you’d failed that algebra test and the coach was threatening to bench you because you’d skipped school to hang out with Jamie.”

  “I remember.”

  Jamie’s brother had been in a car accident. It wasn’t too serious, but he’d spent the night in the hospital. When she heard what happened, Jamie didn’t want to wait until the end of the school day to go to the hospital, so Eli did what any good friend would do: he ditched class to drive her to the hospital.

  “Your sophomore year was all about Jamie. You guys spent all your time together, but that was the night you realized how you felt about her. Am I right?”

  “Yeah, that was the first time we kissed.” After that, they became a couple and were inseparable for two years until he left to play hockey. She told him he needed to focus on his career and she needed to focus on college. When he came back at the end of
his first season, she’d been dating someone else. It had nearly killed him, but he convinced himself they could still be friends. And they had been, until she came to him looking for comfort because her relationship with Brent was falling apart. That night, he couldn’t deny how he felt any longer.

  He’d told her he loved her, that he’d always be there for her. He made love to her the way he had so many times before, and his world was finally back in focus. Until she left in tears the next morning because she’d betrayed the man she’d promised to marry.

  “You guys have so much history,” Casey said.

  “Yeah, most of it as friends. She claims that’s all she wants, and I can’t waste my life loving a woman who’ll never love me back the way I need her to.”

  “You’re right,” Casey said, kissing his cheek. “I would never want you to. Just don’t make the mistake of cutting and running when it’s really time to dig in your heels and fight for what you want.”

  “What if I’m tired of fighting for Jamie?”

  “When you get tired of fighting… it really is time to move on.”

  Chapter Four

  Jasmine tried to put on a happy face for her parents, but it wasn’t easy. She was distracted by thoughts of Eli’s family entertaining his new lady.

  As if her mother could read her mind, she said, “I saw Jill at church today. Course, you’d know that if you’d come with me like I asked you to.”

  Apparently her mother wasn’t finished making her feel guilty, but she didn’t want to talk about Eli or his family. “That’s nice.”

  “Jill said he was bringing some girl to dinner tonight. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

  Jasmine folded the paper napkins her mother passed her, grateful to have something to do. “I just know she’s a lawyer and she’s divorced. I guess they’ve been seeing each other for a while.”

  “She got any kids?” Rita asked, pulling the roast pan out of the oven.

  “Not that I know of.”

  “Hmm.”

  “What does the mean?” Jasmine knew she should let it go, but if her mother knew something she didn’t, she wanted in on the secret.

  “I know Jill and Glenn would love more grandbabies.” She took a pitcher of sweet tea out of the stainless steel fridge and closed the door with her hip. “Course, I told her she should be grateful she has two. I’m beginning to think your daddy and I’ll never have the chance to spoil any of our own.”

  Jasmine was tired of having that conversation. She’d told her parents she’d settle down when she found the right person, but they routinely pushed her until she got frustrated and stormed out of the house. “Mama, I don’t want to argue with you today. Please, can we just have a nice dinner and--”

  “Who’s arguing? I’m just trying to tell you that you missed your chance with Eli, so you’d best be looking elsewhere.”

  Jasmine gripped the edge of the counter. “You know Eli and I are just friends. If he’s found someone who makes him happy, I’m happy for him.”

  “Girl, when are you gonna get your head out of your--”

  “Mama! On Sunday? Really?”

  Rita pursed her lips as she set the table. “I’m just worried about you. Men like Eli don’t come along very often, and when they do, smart girls don’t waste any time snapping them up.” She pointed to the mashed potatoes on the stovetop. “Dish those up, would ya?”

  Jasmine tried to pretend spooning potatoes into a bowl required all of her attention, but she knew she wasn’t fooling anyone. Her mother came up beside Jasmine and stared at her intently.

  Rita brushed her daughter’s hair over her shoulder and asked, “What’s wrong with you, honey? You’ve wasted too much time loving a man who never loved you half as much as Eli does. Can’t you see that?”

  Jasmine bit her lip, determined not to cry. Ever since last night, she’d felt as though she might break down if the wind blew the wrong way. “I see a lot things more clearly now, but that doesn’t change anything.”

  “Does that mean you’re finally willing to admit you have feelings for Eli?”

  “I’ve never denied that I love Eli, Mama.”

  “Don’t give me that.” Rita reached for the bowl and set it aside so Jasmine wouldn’t have an excuse not to look at her. “There’s a difference between loving him as a friend and loving him the way he needs you to. He’s been waiting for you for a long time, honey. You can’t expect him to wait forever.”

  “I have a feeling it may already be too late.” She lost her battle to suppress the tears as one slid down her cheek. “I’m going to lose him. Things must be getting serious with this woman if he brought her home to meet his family. She’s not going to want him to continue being friends with me, and could you blame her?”

  Rita grasped her daughter’s hands and held tight. “You listen to me. You’re gonna stop feeling sorry for yourself. You took a while to see what the rest of us have seen for years, but that doesn’t mean it’s too late. She doesn’t have his ring on her finger. Until she does, he’s fair game.”

  Jasmine was shocked by her mother’s advice. Rita’s old-fashioned values dictated propriety and respect above all. She was the last person Jasmine expected to advise her to try and lure Eli away from Belinda. “I can’t believe you’re saying that.”

  Rita smiled and brushed the back of her hand over Jasmine’s cheek. “You know what they say, Jamie. All’s fair in love and war.”

  “I guess you’re right,” Jasmine said, hugging her mother fiercely. “I just hope he doesn’t wind up hating me for waiting so long to tell him how I feel.”

  ***

  Eli felt restless when he left his parents’ home. He didn’t feel like returning to an empty house and he wasn’t in the mood to talk to Belinda. He wanted to talk to Jamie, but she was probably still wrung out after her drunken binge the night before.

  Eli was standing at the bar at Jimmy’s, waiting to order a beer, when Brent came up beside him. “Hey, man,” Brent said.

  “Hey.” They were civil because of their mutual respect for Ava, but Eli wasn’t naïve enough to believe they’d ever be friends. Nor did he want to be. Brent would always remind Eli of what he and Jamie could have had. “Congratulations. I heard about your engagement. Can I buy you a drink to celebrate?”

  “Yeah, that sounds good.” Brent pointed to a booth. “I was just waiting on my buddy Tucker to show up. He’s building our new house, and there’re a few things we need to go over.”

  The house. The dream house Jamie had created with the hopes of one day sharing it with Brent. Eli placed their drink order while Brent filled him in on the plans for the house. Eli smiled politely, pretending to be interested, but in his mind, he saw and heard Jamie gushing over every detail and how it was everything she would ever want in a home. Her dream home with her dream man. Eli had no place in that picture, and the sooner he accepted that, the better off he would be.

  Walking over to the table with their drinks, Brent asked, “How’s Jamie? I haven’t seen her since she referred us to another architect.”

  “She’s okay.” Eli wouldn’t give Brent the satisfaction of knowing she’d been drowning her sorrows less than twenty-four hours earlier because he was marrying someone else. “Busy with work. You know how she is.”

  “I remember. She’s almost as bad as I am.” Brent smiled. “Or should I say was? My beautiful fiancée is making sure I find a healthy balance.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” Eli tapped his beer bottle against Brent’s glass. “Congrats on finding one of the last good women in this city.”

  Brent winced. “Cynical much, man?”

  “I’m just tired of the whole dating scene, ya know?” Brent knew Eli was using Ava’s service, but the agency’s confidentiality agreement prevented her from discussing details with him. “Ava introduced me to someone. We’ve been out a few times.” Eli peeled the label from his beer bottle, wondering why he was confiding in Brent, someone he’d hated j
ust a few short months ago.

  “How’s that working out?” Brent asked. “Y’all hitting it off, or what?”

  “I don’t know. I thought we were, until today.”

  “What happened today?”

  “I introduced her to my family.”

  Brent held up his hand and laughed. “Say no more. That’s usually the kiss of death, or so I’ve heard.”

  “I was hoping she’d get along with them.”

  “But it didn’t go well?”

  “No.” Eli rubbed his eyes, wishing he’d just gone home. He’d thought he needed to bend someone’s ear, but he wished he’d kept his mouth shut. “She left before dinner. Apparently she started feeling sick after Mama took the meat out of the oven.”

  Brent raised an eyebrow. “Come again?”

  “She’s a vegetarian.” Eli thought about all of the other things that left a sour taste in his mouth. “And she doesn’t like dogs.” He tipped his beer back and took a deep swallow. “She doesn’t care for kids much either.”

  “You do realize you’re describing the exact opposite of Jamie, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I guess she is.” Maybe that’s why being with her didn’t feel right.

  “Is that the kind of woman you told Ava you were looking for?” Brent held one finger up to the waitress to let her know he was ready for another drink.

  “No. I don’t know. Maybe.” He considered the forms he’d filled out and the conversations he’d had with Ava. Had he given Ava the impression he was looking for someone like Belinda instead of someone like Jamie, or had she drawn her own conclusions?

  Tucker walked in, and Brent beckoned him over. Tucker shook hands with both men before sliding in next to Brent. “This is a little too close for my comfort,” Tucker laughed. “Why don’t we move to a table?”

  Eli stood. “I’m heading out. You take my spot.”

  “Hey, I didn’t mean to chase you away, man,” Tucker said.

  “You didn’t. I’m getting tired. It’s time to call it a night.” Eli turned to Brent. “Thanks for listening. Believe it or not, it helped.”