Breathless

by Cheryl Douglas

  Brent laughed. “Who knows, now that we’re not competing for the same woman, we may even learn to like each other, Rea.”

  Eli grinned. “Let’s not get crazy.”

  ***

  Eli was trying to fall asleep when the phone rang. Belinda. He thought about ignoring it, but that wouldn’t be fair. She was probably as upset about what happened at dinner as he was. “Hello.”

  “Hey, Eli. You weren’t sleeping, were you?”

  “No, I was just lying here.”

  “Yeah, me too.” After a brief pause, she asked, “What did your family say after I left?”

  “Not much.” He knew he should amend that statement, so he said, “They were sorry you had to leave.”

  “I don’t believe you, but it’s sweet of you to say.”

  Eli knew he couldn’t fool her into believing his family liked her when they clearly didn’t. “Are you feeling better?” He hoped she would be open to changing the subject. They had to talk about it, but he wasn’t in the mood for any more drama. Those conversations inevitably ended in tears, and he didn’t have the energy to console a distraught woman.

  “I am, thanks.”

  He rolled over and slid his free hand under the pillow. “Do you have a busy week coming up?” They’d been trying to get together at least once during the week, but he was less enthused about the prospect.

  “I do.” She sighed. “Eli, I didn’t call to make small talk. Can we talk about us?”

  Oh no, here it comes. “To tell you the truth, I’m kinda tired, Belinda. Can we talk about this some other time?”

  “I have feelings for you,” she said quietly. “I haven’t told you because I didn’t want to rush things, and frankly, I wasn’t sure how you felt.”

  Eli wasn’t even sure how he felt. He’d never been more confused. “I think you’re a great girl…”

  “But?”

  “I’m not sure I’m ready for anything serious.”

  “Isn’t that the reason you went to Ava? Because you were ready to settle down? That’s what she told me. If that’s not true--”

  “No, it is.” His conscience wouldn’t let him throw Ava under the bus just to spare himself an uncomfortable discussion.

  “You just can’t see yourself settling down with me. Is that it?”

  Eli told himself finding nice girls who weren’t interested in his status or bank balance was difficult. He shouldn’t be so quick to cut Belinda off. Maybe his family would grow to love her. Perhaps he could grow to love her too. “I didn’t say that. I don’t know how I feel yet. It’s too soon to tell.”

  She exhaled. “I’m glad to hear you say that. I thought you might be ready to write me off after today.”

  “I’m not making any promises--”

  “I’m not asking you to.”

  “I like you. I like spending time with you, but I still don’t know if we’re compatible as a couple.”

  “I get that.” She paused. “We have a lot more in common than you think, you know.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We both wasted too many years loving people who couldn’t love us back.”

  He couldn’t confide in her, of all people, about his relationship with Jamie. “This has nothing to do with Jam--”

  “Doesn’t it?”

  Eli was a terrible liar, which was why he’d decided a long time ago not to bother trying. “Fine, maybe it has something to do with her. She’s been an important part of my life for a long time. I can’t just turn my feelings off because I’ve met someone else.” When he realized how that sounded, he tried to soften it. “I’m sorry. I’m sure that’s not what you want to hear.”

  “Don’t ever apologize for being honest with me.” She laughed softly. “My ex had a terrible habit of lying to me, especially about where he was. It’s refreshing to meet a man who’s not afraid to tell the truth, even when it hurts.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you.” He rolled onto his back and covered his eyes with his forearm. He knew what it felt like to be the odd man out in a love triangle. He didn’t want to put anyone else in that situation.

  “I’m a big girl, Eli. I can take care of myself. Believe me, my eyes are wide open. I know you still have feelings for Jamie, and if she’d have you, you’d probably be in her bed right now.”

  That was a visual Eli didn’t need if he hoped to get a wink of sleep. “Let’s make a deal. No more talk of Jamie or your ex. We just give it a little longer and see where this things takes us. What do you say?”

  “It’s a deal.”

  Chapter Five

  Jasmine was too distracted to get any work done, so she slipped out of the office on her lunch break. She hoped a little retail therapy would lift her spirits, but as soon as she walked into Alisa’s, she wished she hadn’t come to her favorite boutique. Ava spotted her and waved. If Jasmine tried to leave, she would look as if she was avoiding Brent’s fiancée because she was jealous. Which she wasn’t. Ava could have Brent. It was Eli Jasmine was concerned about.

  “Hey, Jasmine,” Ava said, crossing the boutique. Ever since Jasmine visited Ava’s office to give her the plans to Brent’s dream house, Ava had been warm whenever their paths crossed.

  “Congratulations on your engagement,” Jasmine said. What a difference a couple of days could make. When Jasmine learned about their engagement, she’d felt a sense of loss. She’d known she and Brent would never find their way back to each other, but it was the end of the dream. After her revelations, she realized Brent had found exactly what he needed with Ava, and it was time for her to do the same.

  “You heard about that, huh?” Ava rolled her eyes. “That’s one of the disadvantages of having such a high profile boy--excuse me, fiancé.”

  Jasmine smiled, half-expecting it to feel forced, but it didn’t. She was genuinely happy for them. Maybe running into Ava was exactly what she needed. “So, let’s see the ring.” A week ago, she would have been sick with envy over the four-carat, pear-shaped solitaire. Instead, she only admired its beauty.

  “I told him it was too big,” Ava said, blushing.

  “There’s no such thing.” Jasmine squeezed her hand. “It’s lovely, really. I’m very happy for you.”

  Ava looked hesitant. “You’re taking this better than I would, Jasmine. If my ex-fiancé were getting married, I don’t think I could be so gracious.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t see me Saturday night. Believe me, it wasn’t pretty.” Jasmine laughed as she thought about her pity-party.

  Ava touched her arm. “I understand. I’ve never been engaged before, but I’m sure this can’t be easy for you.”

  “Actually, it’s easier than I thought it would be. I’ve accepted that it’s time to let go. I should have had the good sense to let go a long time ago.”

  “I thought you may have been ready when you came to my office to give me the plans.”

  “In my head I was ready, but my heart wasn’t quite there. It is now.”

  Ava smiled. “I’m glad. Um, have you had lunch yet?”

  “No. Why?”

  “I was just going to the deli across the street before I head back to the office. Would you like to join me?”

  “Sure, I’d love to.” Jasmine hoped she could get some insight into the woman Eli was seeing.

  Ava gestured to the racks around them. “If you want to do a little damage here first, I don’t mind waiting.”

  “That’s okay. I can come back another time.”

  They ran across the busy street and into the deli. After placing their orders, they snatched the last available table in the corner. The deli made their sandwiches quickly and delivered them to the table.

  “So, have you and Brent set a date yet?” Jasmine asked before taking a bite of her roast beef sandwich.

  “Not yet. He doesn’t want to wait, but I tried telling him these things take time to plan.” Ava shrugged. “I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”

  Jasmine took a sip of water to was
h down the lump in her throat. When Brent had been engaged to her, he always put off setting a date. Jasmine was trying to be mature, it still stung to know Brent couldn’t wait to take that walk down the aisle with Ava.

  “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” Ava asked.

  “Um, I guess not.” She wiped her mouth with a paper napkin, praying the question didn’t have anything to do with her history with Brent. That would just be too awkward.

  “Don’t look so worried,” Ava laughed.

  “Sorry.” Jasmine covered her face. She was being silly. Ava was too classy to ask her a question that would embarrass either of them. “Ask away.”

  “You and Eli have been friends a long time. You dated in high school, right?”

  “We did.”

  “Do you mind if I ask why y’all broke up?”

  Jasmine had asked herself that question dozens of times, including every time Eli had called her from half way around the country and she longed to feel his arms around her. She’d been too blind to realize what she couldn’t ignore anymore. She was in love with him. “We were just kids. You know how it is. You want to get out and explore the world a bit. You don’t want to get tied down right out of high school or even college.”

  “But you didn’t mind committing to Brent right out of college?” Ava took a bite of her sandwich.

  “That was different. Brent was different. I knew if I didn’t--” She almost said “convinced him to marry me.” In hindsight, that’s exactly what she’d tried to do. She was embarrassed by her actions. She should have had enough self-respect to wait for a man who couldn’t wait to marry her instead of trying to coerce a man who clearly wasn’t ready. “I thought if we didn’t get married then, we probably wouldn’t.”

  “You can tell me to mind my own business--” Ava smiled “--I probably would if I were you, but why did you sleep with Eli if you were so in love with Brent?”

  “By then, I knew Brent and I were over. We’d been fighting constantly. He didn’t love me the way I needed him to, and I got tired of waiting for him to come around. I stormed out of the apartment that night and told him I was done with him.”

  Ava frowned. “So you’d already broken up with him when you slept with Eli? I’m confused. I thought you cheated on him.”

  “Technically, I guess I didn’t.” Jasmine hated thinking about that night. She’d been so angry at Brent. She went to Eli’s for comfort and found it in his arms. When she came on to him, he told her he wouldn’t take advantage of her vulnerability, but she didn’t give him a choice. She wanted to wipe Brent out of her mind. She wanted to forget every tear she’d ever shed over him, every day he’d stolen from her. “But we’d had so many of those fights. I don’t think he took me seriously. After all, I didn’t even throw my ring at him that time.”

  Ava grinned. “You’d thrown the ring at him before?”

  “Plenty of times.” Jasmine cringed just thinking about some of the explosive fights they’d had. “I don’t think I realized things were different that night until Eli and I made love.” She pushed her half-eaten sandwich away. “I couldn’t go back to Brent after what happened with Eli.”

  Ava asked, “That’s when you decided to move to L.A.?” Jasmine nodded. “Why didn’t you stay and try and figure out whether you and Eli had a future together?”

  “I felt too guilty. I knew Eli had feelings for me, and I took advantage of that. If I’d stayed, it could have cost me my friendship with him. I wasn’t willing to risk that.”

  “Why’d you decide to come back?” Ava shook her head, looking embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I just--”

  Jasmine held up her hand. “It’s okay, I know what you meant. My agent, the guy who convinced me I had a shot in the business, was a real loser. When he said I could make a lot of money, he had nude modeling in mind.”

  Ava’s mouth dropped open. “Are you serious?”

  “Unfortunately.” Admitting she’d been taken in by a guy like that was still embarrassing, but at least she hadn’t been stupid enough to let it go too far.

  “You said he was the one who suggested you change your name?”

  “Yeah, he said Jasmine was sexier than Jamie.” She popped a potato chip in her mouth and chewed carefully. “He was right. It does make me feel sexier, more powerful somehow. I started tackling things I wouldn’t have had the courage to before.”

  When Jasmine held the bag out to Ava, she took a potato chip. “Such as?”

  “I’d always wanted to be an architect, but I got off course in college. I thought Brent and I were going to get married. I wanted to work with him, so I changed majors and took business and finance courses instead.”

  “Well, I seriously applaud you for going back to school. You’ve obviously found your calling. The house you designed for us is beyond anything I ever could have imagined.”

  Jasmine was surprised by how much Ava’s praise meant to her. She could understand why Brent had fallen in love with her and why Eli seemed proud to call her a friend. Ava was obviously a very special person. “Thank you for saying that.”

  “I mean it.”

  “I know you do.” Jasmine was good at detecting lies, and she would bet her last dollar that Ava’s compliment was heartfelt.

  Ava crumpled up her napkin and tossed it on the plastic tray. “But do you still have feelings for Eli? I mean, I know you care about him, but is there a chance you think of him as more than a friend?”

  “Why do you ask?” Despite the strides toward friendship they’d made, Jasmine didn’t know if she was willing to confide in Ava about Eli.

  “I can’t say too much--”

  “I already know you set him up with Belinda.”

  Ava sighed heavily. “Good, I’m glad he told you. I wasn’t sure he would.”

  “Eli and I don’t keep secrets from each other.” That wasn’t entirely true, given how long he’d waited to tell her about Belinda, but Ava didn’t need to know everything.

  “I want Eli to find someone who makes him happy,” Ava said, sitting up straighter. “I believe I can help him find that special someone, but I can’t do that as long as you’re in the picture.”

  Jasmine was stunned. Perhaps she’d been wrong to let her guard down. She could still use the opportunity to find out more about her competition though. “And you believe Belinda is the right person for him?”

  “I think she could be.”

  “How do you know that? You don’t even know him!” Jasmine lowered her voice when the couple at the table beside them glanced over. “I know him better than anyone. If you want to know what kind of woman would be perfect for him, try asking me.”

  Ava sat back and folded her arms. “Okay, why don’t you tell me what kind of woman you think would be right for him?”

  Feeling a bit like a bug in a jar, Jasmine said, “She’d have to be strong. Eli doesn’t like weak women.” She crossed her legs and smoothed her hand over her silk nylons. “He may seem to, because of the brainless puck bunnies he dates, but he’s only passing time with those girls. It would take someone really special to capture his attention for the duration.”

  Ava slid her finger along the plastic tray as a smile teased her lips. “Go on, I’m listening.”

  “Well, they’d have to share the same values and interests.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “She’d have to be passionate about her work, since Eli’s so passionate about hockey. I don’t think he could relate to a woman who didn’t have a career of her own.”

  “Interesting.”

  Jasmine was on a roll, and she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “She’d have to be smart too. Eli’s really smart. I know a lot of people stereotype him as a dumb jock, but did you know he had the highest I.Q. in our senior class?”

  “No, I didn’t know that.”

  “It’s true. He’s a little sensitive about the fact he didn’t go to college--you know, because he played hockey right away
--but he could have easily gotten a scholarship. He was a straight-A student and--” Jasmine stopped when she realized Ava was staring at her a little too intently. “What?”

  “You really are his biggest fan, aren’t you?”

  “Sure, he’s one of my best friends. I know better than anyone how great he is.”

  Ava stood and reached for her purse. “If I were you, I’d tell him that before your time runs out, my friend.”

  ***

  Eli was tired after a five-mile jog, but he’d promised to go over to Belinda’s. Since they hadn’t seen each other since the fiasco at his parents’ house, he felt obligated to go and reassure her they were still on the same page. She’d called him every day and night, looking for assurance that he was still interested in her despite the fact his family didn’t like her. Her insecurity grated on his nerves, but since he was partially responsible for planting that seed of doubt, he felt obligated to put her mind at ease. He knew how it felt to question where you stood in a relationship, and he didn’t want to put someone else through that.

  As he jogged up his street, he spotted a familiar form in one of the iron chairs on his front porch. Jamie. He wondered if that tightness in his stomach at the sight of her would ever dissipate. “Hey, what are you doing here?” he asked, trying to sound casual. His heart was pounding harder than it had been during the peak of his run.

  “I thought we should talk.” She looked uncomfortable as she watched him stick the key into his lock. “If now’s not a good time, I can come back.”

  He’d never sent her away before. It might be a good time to let her know their relationship was changing, that he didn’t intend to drop everything when she beckoned anymore. “I have a date in a bit.” Her face fell, and he felt worse than he had the one time he’d accidentally stepped on Shep’s paw. “You can come in if you don’t mind waiting while I have a quick shower.”

  “I don’t mind waiting, but…” She started fidgeting with her ring. “I get the feeling you’re not in the mood to talk.”