Breathless

by Cheryl Douglas

  Her eyes sparkled with amusement when she looped her arms around his neck. “Tell me more. I could get used to this.”

  “Stick with me. You’ll have to get used to it.” He intended to tell her every day how amazing she was because that’s what she deserved.

  Tara looked down and fidgeted with the button on his shirt without undoing it. “What are we doing here? Ava and Brent are right to be concerned about us hooking up. You’re his brother. I’m her best friend. Our paths are going to cross for a long time. Sex is a sure-fire way to make things awkward between us. I don’t want that, and I know you don’t either.”

  She was shutting down; he could feel it. “Don’t tell me what I want,” he said quietly. “You have no idea.”

  Her eyes snapped back to his. “What…?”

  “I want what they have. Is it so hard to imagine that I want someone who’ll love and support me the way Ava loves Brent?” He hadn’t intended to let his guard down, but if revealing his weakness was the only way to prove his sincerity, he’d risk it.

  “I didn’t think you were ready for that kind of commitment.” She scanned his face. “You’ve always been so carefree, like having an exclusive relationship was last on your list of priorities.”

  “I guess it was.” He buried his face in her hair. Baring his soul felt as though it was tearing his chest open for her inspection. “It’s not anymore.”

  “This is going too fast,” she said, trying to shift under his weight.

  “How can you say that?” He knew he should let her get up, but that would make leaving too easy for her. He couldn’t—wouldn’t—let her go. “We were friends back in college. There was always something between us. You can’t deny that.”

  Bracing her hands on his shoulders, she said, “Yeah, there was something between us: friendship. I didn’t want to date you then for the same reason I don’t want to date you now. You’re a player, Keith. Plain and simple.”

  He couldn’t respond because the truth hurt too much. She had every right to convict him based on the stupid mistakes he’d made, but he’d held out hope she’d give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she would have if she only had to consider her feelings, but she was thinking about how their decision would affect Brent and Ava. She loved them. Keith only wished she could say the same about him.

  “I hear you,” he said, getting up. “I understand.”

  “Please don’t be upset with me.” She tugged on his shirt tail as he stood over her. “You know I think you’re a great guy.” Her eyes traveled over the powerful body hidden beneath his clothes. “And sexy as hell, but that still doesn’t make this a good idea.”

  “Right.” He raked his hands through his cropped dark hair. He didn’t care about restoring order, but he was one bad idea away from begging her to reconsider. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. It’s all good.” It wasn’t. Her decision hurt like hell, but he wouldn’t make her feel guilty. She was doing what she thought was right, even if he knew it was dead wrong.

  “I think I should leave,” she said, reaching for his hand. “I can go upstairs and—”

  “No, I want you to stay.” His heart was in serious danger of being shredded if he spent more time with her, but he couldn’t let her go. “It’s not a big deal. I’m a big boy. I can handle rejection.” He knew he wasn’t fooling her, but feigned nonchalance seemed better than begging.

  “If you’re sure?” she asked, sitting up.

  “Yeah, I’m sure.” He cursed himself for being a liar. The only thing he was sure about was how he felt about Tara sleeping down the hall when he wanted her in his bed.

  Chapter Five

  Tara tossed and turned all night from thinking about her talk with Keith. When she finally abandoned her attempts to sleep, she threw herself into making breakfast for the object of her distraction.

  She was standing at the stove, flipping blueberry pancakes, when he walked into the kitchen. “Good morning,” she said and nodded toward the coffeemaker. “I hope you like it strong. That’s the only way I can drink it.”

  He rubbed his eyes and stumbled toward his salvation. “Yeah, strong is good. I need strong today.”

  “You didn’t sleep well?” She cast a glance over her shoulder. He’d given her one of his shirts to sleep in because she hadn’t had time to do a load of laundry. She was suddenly very aware of the fact it landed mid-thigh and she was wearing nothing underneath.

  “No, I didn’t.” He climbed up on a stool at the breakfast bar, coffee mug in hand. “How about you?”

  “The bed is comfortable.” She didn’t want him to know she’d lost sleep over him. That would only make standing her ground and honoring their promise to keep their friendship platonic more difficult.

  “I’m glad.”

  She plated a stack of pancakes and handed it to him before reaching into the fridge for butter and syrup. “I hope you don’t mind pancakes?”

  “No, this is great.” He looked at her when their hands touched around the glass syrup bottle. “Thanks.”

  “My pleasure.” She cleared her throat and turned her attention back to the skillet. “What do you have planned today?”

  “I was going to let you decide.” He closed his eyes when he bit into the pancakes. “Hmm, these are amazing.”

  “Thanks, it’s my mama’s recipe.”

  Keith smiled around a mouthful of pancakes. “In that case, remind me to thank her.”

  She was glad the awkward tension they’d experienced when he showed her to the guest room last night had receded. They were back to being friends. That should make her happy, not disappointed and tense. He was backing off, which she’d claimed to want, so why did she miss the flirtation and innuendo?

  “You don’t have to babysit me.” She stacked two small pancakes on a plate and turned the burner off before joining him at the breakfast bar.

  When his T-shirt hiked up her leg, he paused with the fork halfway to his mouth. “Damn, girl, I should’ve given you a pair of shorts. Or sweats…” He stuck the fork in his mouth on a deep breath. “Long pants and a sweatshirt to cover you from neck to ankles.”

  Tara was glad he wasn’t immune to her appearance, because he looked positively mouth-watering with bedhead and stubble covering his jaw. Thinking of a neutral topic was difficult when they were both thinking about wasting the day away in his king-sized bed. Before she could make the mistake of suggesting they do just that, a knock on the door saved her. “I’ll get it.” She jumped off the stool, anxious to escape.

  “Check the peephole,” he warned. “You’re practically naked.”

  Tara had been so determined to put some distance between them she hadn’t considered her state of dress. She was relieved to see Ava through the peephole. “Hey,” she said, pulling the door open. “What brings you by so early?”

  Ava’s mouth fell open as her eyes traveled over Tara’s bare legs under Keith’s shirt. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

  Tara hadn’t explained why she’d left the party early. She simply said she was tired, and Ava accepted the excuse without question. “We didn’t,” Tara said.

  Keith came up behind her. “But not because I didn’t want to.”

  “Of course you wanted to,” Ava said, rolling her eyes. “You’ll sleep with anything that—”

  Keith waved to the old man who lived across the hall. “Good morning, Mr. Thomas.”

  Mr. Thomas, who was well into his eighties, was bending over to pick up his newspaper when he caught sight of Tara’s bare legs. “Boy, I don’t know where you find ‘em. It seems like every one of ‘em is prettier than the last.” He chuckled.

  Keith tugged on Tara’s elbow, moving her behind him as he gestured for Ava to step inside. “Pervert,” he muttered, closing the door on his nosy neighbor.

  Tara tried to pretend Mr. Thomas’s comment didn’t bother her, but it was a reminder she didn’t need. Keith entertained gorgeous women on a regular basis. Many of them probably spent the night.
It should be a moot point, but when she caught Keith’s eye, she knew he wanted to say something.

  Before he had a chance, Ava said, “Why do I get the feeling I missed something?”

  “Biagio crashed Brent’s bachelor party,” Keith said, leaning against the closed door and crossing his arms. He spoke to Ava but looked directly at Tara.

  Ava spun around to face him. “What? Brent didn’t say anything to me about that.”

  “He didn’t know. I didn’t see any reason to spoil his night by telling him. I handled it.”

  “What did he say?” Ava asked. “Why was he there? Did he threaten you?” She looked at Tara. “Or you?”

  Keith pushed off the door and walked toward Ava. Looping his arm around her neck, he walked them into the living room. “Everything’s fine. Like I said, I handled it.”

  “I want to know what he said.” Ava looked at Keith. “Tell me right now!”

  Keith sighed and sank down on one of the armchairs flanking the fireplace. “He tried to convince me he and Tara were still sleeping together.” Looking up at Tara, he said, “He also told me intended to marry her.”

  Tara gasped. “God, he’s living in a fantasy world if he really thinks I’d have anything more to do with him.”

  “That’s what worries me,” Keith said. “Your ex has lost touch with reality.”

  Ava crossed her arms and stared at Tara. “If you ask me, he never had a firm grasp on it to begin with.”

  “Can we not rehash this? I know I was a fool to ever get involved with him. We all make mistakes. Can we just leave it at that?”

  Ava looked at Keith. “You don’t think she’s in serious danger, do you?”

  “As long as she’s with me, you have nothing to worry about,” Keith said, looking up at Tara. “I’m not going to let anything happen to her. I promise.”

  Their eyes locked, and Tara had to tear her gaze away when she felt Ava glaring at her.

  Ava reached for Tara’s hand. “Maybe you should get a restraining order. It couldn’t hurt.”

  “Honey, I don’t want you to worry about me.” Tara hugged her friend. She hated that her lousy taste in men was causing Ava distress. Ava didn’t need more to worry about with the stress of building a house, planning a wedding, and running a business. “I know Biagio. He’ll get tired of the chase and move on to the next pretty girl.”

  “But what if he doesn’t?” Ava’s voice broke. “What if he tries to hurt you? You’re like my sister. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.”

  “Nothing’s going to happen to me. I promise.” She smiled, hoping to reassure Ava.

  Ava looked at Keith. “Can you give me your word you’ll look out for her? Especially while we’re on our honeymoon. I don’t want her to be alone.”

  Keith and Tara shared a glance. She silently pleaded with him to put Ava’s mind at ease, and his slight nod told her he got the message.

  “I’ll watch her back. You have my word.” Keith stood up and stretched. “I’m going to grab a shower.” He was halfway down the hall before he turned around. “Hey, you didn’t say. Why’d you stop by so early, Ava?”

  “We’re out of milk. I was hoping to borrow some.”

  “Oh sure,” Keith said, gesturing toward the kitchen. “Help yourself.”

  Ava waited until the bathroom door closed before she asked Tara, “Are you sure there’s nothing going on between you two? I saw that look on his face when Thomas talked about the other women in his life. He seemed really uncomfortable.”

  “Did he?” Tara straightened a stack of magazines on the coffee table. “I didn’t notice.”

  “Don’t do that. We’ve known each other too long for you to think you can get away with lying to me.”

  Tara knew she was right. It was time to come clean. “We’ve kissed a couple of times. That’s it.” They were two of the most intense kisses of her life, but Ava didn’t need to know that.

  “That’s it?” Ava narrowed her eyes. “You honestly expect me to believe that? When is a kiss ever just a kiss with a guy like Keith, Tara? He practically sweats sex.”

  Ava was right. Keith couldn’t curb his sexual urges for much longer. If it wasn’t with her, it would be with someone else. The question was whether she was content to let him go find satisfaction in someone else’s arms.

  “Oh my God,” Ava said quietly. “You’re falling for him, aren’t you?”

  Telling Ava she had already taken that leap didn’t seem prudent. Tara said, “Come on, your future brother-in-law is hot. A woman would have to be blind not to notice.”

  “There’s a difference between feeling something and acting on it. Do you… intend to act on it?”

  “I promised you I wouldn’t, and I won’t.” Tara just wanted to escape to the safety of a hot shower.

  “I asked you to make that promise for your benefit, not for mine. I watched what happened to you after Biagio did that number on you. I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

  “I know.” Ava was the most selfless person Tara knew. She knew Ava’s concern came from a place of love, not self-interest. “You don’t have to worry.”

  “Yes, I do.” Ava sighed. “I love Keith. He’s one of the funniest, sweetest guys I know, and I’m so excited to be a part of his family.”

  “But?”

  “Let’s face it. He’s always been a train wreck when it comes to relationships. According to Brent, nothing’s changed since college.”

  “Brent would know,” Tara said, trying to ignore the niggling of disappointment. She would be damned before she got sucked into the impossible feat of trying to change Keith. “I’ve heard everything you said. Trust me, I’m not gonna go there with Keith.”

  ***

  Keith was trying to enjoy the day. It was sunny and beautiful. They were driving with the top down and the tunes cranked, but he couldn’t shake the feeling the easy rapport he and Tara had always shared had vanished. He felt the urge to do or say something to get it back. “Did you and Ava have a nice chat?”

  “We did.” Tara tipped her head back against the leather headrest and closed her eyes. “I just wish she’d stop worrying about me so much. She has enough to deal with.”

  Keith stole a glance at her when they pulled up to a four-way stop on a country road. His thoughts created a vicious circle of fear and negativity. His feelings for Tara were growing stronger every day, yet the closer he tried to get, the more she pulled back. He was frustrated, but he didn’t know what to do about it.

  She frowned as the narrow road became craggier. “Where are we going?”

  He was taking her to a little spot one of his high school friends’ families owned. He and his buddies used to hop in their pickups and go there when they wanted to drink and party without getting caught. They’d pack up some tents and sleeping bags, a few cases of beer, and invite their girls. One of them would build a fire, and they’d fall asleep under the stars. They had been eighteen with their whole lives ahead of them and big dreams.

  Most of those guys were married with a couple of kids now. Their lives hadn’t turned out exactly as they’d planned, but Keith had finally realized what they had was worth more than his fancy car and condo. Their foundations were built on love, laughter, and dreams. His was merely brick and mortar. His home could be destroyed, but nothing could destroy their foundations.

  “We’re going to my buddy’s parents’ place. It’s just a big ol’ piece of land with a swimming hole, but I have a hell of a lot of great memories there.” Keith had often tried to talk his friend’s parents into selling him the land, but they’d always refused. They claimed it had been in their family for three generations and they couldn’t bring themselves to sell it, not even to Keith.

  Tara patted the dashboard of his Aston Martin. “It seems a shame to put her through this. We could have brought my car.”

  “There’s something about driving down a country road in a convertible,” Keith said, grinning. “Tunes cranked,
wind in your hair. This is the life.” He suddenly realized that was all he needed to be happy: the open road, land he loved, and his woman by his side.

  Tara frowned as a low-hanging tree branch grazed her ponytail. “If I laid out this kind of money for a car, I’d never take it down a road like this.”

  “It’s only money, Tara. Just a car.” Keith didn’t feel that way because he had more money then he’d ever dreamed. He’d just never been hungry for the almighty dollar. Material things were just things. The people in his life had always mattered most: his father and brother, his huge network of friends. Keith could survive without money, he’d done it before, but he couldn’t survive without the people who’d helped him through the tough times.

  “Easy for you to say,” she said, propping her sunglasses up on top of her head. “It’s different when you live paycheck to paycheck.”

  He shot her a sidelong glance. “It doesn’t have to be that way, you know.”

  “Maybe not for you.” She looked out the window at the cows grazing near an old farm house. “It hasn’t been easy for my family, Keith. We’ve always tried real hard, but…” She shrugged. “My parents barely had enough money to get by. If we wanted to go to college, we had to pay our own way.”

  Keith knew Tara and her parents were close, and she’d spoken to her older sister, who was married with two kids and living in Arizona, twice since she moved in with him. Apparently her family needed reassurance that she was getting by. She’d told them she was staying with Ava, insisting they would disapprove if they knew the truth.

  “Have you almost got those student loans paid off?” They’d all graduated from college seven years ago. Keith hadn’t thought about tuition in a long time.

  “Yeah.” She ran her thumb over the clear polish on her short fingernails. “I should have them paid off this year, and then I can start saving for a little house.”

  Keith just fell a little deeper when he saw the hope bloom in her eyes. “It was tough for my old man when we were growing up too,” he said, keeping his eyes on the road. The road was unassuming with a lot of deep hollows that could do serious damage to his suspension. “He drove truck, didn’t make a lot of money. He did the best he could.”