Breathless

by Cheryl Douglas

  “I didn’t know that,” Tara said, slipping her sunglasses back in place and looking at him.

  He felt her eyes on him, studying him, and he felt some of the tension to dissipate. “It’s not easy, is it?”

  “No, but you do what you have to do, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  He turned down the long, winding drive to the swimming hole. They’d lay out a blanket and spread out the picnic they’d packed. Hopefully they’d get to know each other even better. Keith realized he’d known Tara for a long time, but he still wanted to discover so much. Kind of like a kid waiting to unwrap their lone Christmas present, he believed time with her, away from the pressures of the real world, was a gift.

  “It’s so pretty out here,” she said quietly. “So peaceful.” She shifted in her seat, looking around as the car eased up to its resting place. “It almost feels like we’re the only two people on Earth.” She laughed self-consciously. “That’s sounds silly, doesn’t it?”

  “Not at all.” He smiled and cut the engine. “I always feel the same way when I’m out here.” Field grass surrounded them, the trees stood tall and proud, and the swimming hole was deep and dark. The unkempt grounds were the perfect contrast to the cloudless sky and bright sun.

  “Does your friend know you’re here, or are we trespassing?” She got an apprehensive expression when she reached for the door handle, prompting Keith to laugh and tweak her cute little upturned nose.

  “No worries. I called his parents this morning and asked if they’d mind if we took a drive out here. They said to enjoy. It’s not like they ever come out here anymore. They’re getting on in years and…” He shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess their kids are busy with their own lives.” He hopped out of the car to open her door.

  Tara got out of the car and stepped into the tall grass, her arms stretched over her head. She spun in a slow circle with her eyes closed and her head tipped back, letting the sun warm her face as a smile teased her lips.

  Keith was speechless. He’d never seen her or any other woman look so uninhibited… and breathtaking. More than anything, he wanted to kiss her.

  “I really needed this today,” she said quietly. “Thank you.” The gentle breeze teased her hair, blowing wisps across her face. “It’s perfect.”

  “You’re perfect.” He stepped closer knowing that if he took another step, he’d cross the line she’d drawn.

  Shaking her head, she said, “Don’t. Please.”

  Chapter Six

  Tara recognized that look in Keith’s eye. She’d come to fear and seek it at the same time. He wanted to kiss her… and she wanted to let him. Her conversation with Ava flashed through her mind, and she knew she couldn’t. One heartbreak a year was already one too many.

  “You don’t make it easy,” he whispered. “In fact, you’re making it damn near impossible for me not to want you.”

  Tara held her breath when he stepped closer. He wasn’t touching her, but he was close enough to rectify that.

  “If you have any ideas on how to make me stop wanting you, I’m listening.” Another step meant touching was imminent. They were too close to avoid contact. “I never asked for this, Tara. I never expected to feel this way.”

  She wanted to ask how he felt, and she desperately wanted to believe every word. She wanted, just for one day, to believe a man like Keith could change because he’d found what he was looking for in her. But she’d blindly believed every word Biagio said, and she was still paying the price for that lapse in judgement.

  Stepping back, she walked to the edge of the swimming hole. It looked like every other swimming hole she had ever cooled off in. Jumping in was always scary when she was six and couldn’t see the bottom, but jumping into an emotional chasm when she was in her thirties was even harder.

  She heard Keith taking their belongings out of the trunk, but she didn’t offer to help. Getting too close when she felt so vulnerable was a scary prospect. Instead, she walked through the overgrown brush, barely aware of it grazing her calves. She was lost in a childhood fantasy of happily ever after. She wanted someone who would promise to love her forever, a couple of kids, a nice little house, and security. More than anything, she wanted security.

  She walked for a long time through the wildflowers. She even picked a daisy to go through the silly ritual of he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not. Turned out, he loved her.

  Keith was sweet and kind, but he still represented everything she didn’t want. He’d always been a free spirit. He enjoyed chasing women, but he had one foot out the door after the first few dates. She’d witnessed it dozens of times in college. He’d dated several of her friends and left them broken-hearted when he couldn’t return their feelings. If Keith were a lottery ticket and she had a dollar to spend hoping to get rich, she’d toss her money into a wishing well instead. Tara finally headed back toward Keith, determined to control her feelings.

  “Did you enjoy your walk?” Keith asked. He was stretched out on a sleeping bag on a patch of bare ground. With his weight propped on one elbow and his legs stretched out, he looked relaxed, but his dark glasses shaded his eyes, so she couldn’t say for sure.

  “I did, thanks.” She looked back at the ground she’d covered. “I hope you didn’t mind. I just needed a few minutes.”

  “I understand.” He smiled. “I used to do the same thing when I came out here. My friends would be drinking and partying, and sometimes I just needed to get away from it all.”

  She’d never witnessed Keith’s introspective side. He always seemed too busy to slow down. Sitting on the edge of the blanket, she tucked her legs under her. She’d opted for jean shorts, a tank top, and flip-flops, which proved to be the perfect choice since it was already hot.

  He opened the cooler they’d brought. “Would you like a drink?”

  They’d loaded it up with soft drinks, beer, water, and wine. She wouldn’t mind a glass of vino to settle her nerves, but she feared that might also weaken her resolve. “Water would be great, thanks.”

  He passed her a small bottle of water and reached for a beer. After twisting off the cap, he took a long swig and lay back on the blanket. “Nothing better than a cold beer on a hot day.”

  “Right.” She sipped her water as she studied him. She could tell his eyes were closed beneath his dark glasses, giving her the freedom to observe him. He looked casual in a pair of board shorts, flip-flops, and a white T-shirt. His baseball cap was on backward, giving him a youthful edge that reminded her he still had a wild streak a Texas mile wide.

  He was still the sexiest man she’d ever known. At just over six feet, he was tall without being imposing. He was lean and toned, but that face was what drew women in. Olive skin, a bright white smile, dark eyes, and deep dimples. A lethal combination.

  “Do I pass inspection?”

  There was that grin again, the one that made her stomach do a forward roll. “I wasn’t looking at you. I was just… thinking.”

  He chuckled, propped his hand behind his head, and stared at the sky. “Whatever you say, sugar.” A beat of silent passed. “This time three weeks from now, we’ll be standing in church while my brother and your best friend say their vows. Crazy, huh?”

  “Yeah, crazy.” Apparently Keith wasn’t going to make a move, so Tara inched back on the blanket and stretched her legs out, resting her weight on her hands.

  Tipping his head, he looked at her. “You’re happy for them, right? You think Brent’s good for Ava?”

  Brent had come a long way from the bitter, resentful man he’d been when he came back into Ava’s life. “Yeah, I think he’s good for her. He makes her happy. That’s all that matters to me.”

  Nudging her leg with his, he said, “And if he ever hurts her, he’ll have you to deal with. Right?”

  “You know it.”

  Keith laughed. “You’ll have to get in line. I already told him if he messes this up, I’ll personally kick his ass.”

  “You don’t think he will thou
gh, do you?” From everything Tara had seen, Brent was completely devoted to Ava and the life they were building together.

  “Not a chance. He’s in this for life.”

  “That’s good. I know Ava feels the same way.”

  Keith sat up and took another swig of his beer. “How ‘bout you? Are you a lifer too?”

  His cologne was subtle, but it carried on the gentle breeze and made it difficult for Tara to concentrate. “Um, sure. I want what they have.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  He’d said that the night before, but she hadn’t taken him seriously. Actions spoke louder than words, and Keith’s actions had never given her any indication he was ready to change. “If you say so.”

  “I do.” He looked at her. “I know you don’t believe me, and that’s okay, but I do intend to prove it to you.”

  Tara felt a flutter in her chest. She wasn’t sure if his words were a promise or a warning, but the prospect thrilled her nonetheless. “I won’t hold my breath.” She was too smart to set herself up for disappointment. If he proved himself, great. If not, she wouldn’t lose sleep over it. At least, not much.

  “You don’t have any faith in me. Why?” He nudged her shoulder with his. “Am I really such a bad guy?”

  She smiled. “You’re a great guy, but you’re a terrible boyfriend.”

  “Hey, how do you know that?”

  She crossed her legs. “Let’s see… there was Christine, Stacy, Annie—”

  Chuckling, he covered her mouth. “Okay, I get the idea. But I was just a kid back then. You can’t hold that against me.”

  Their eyes met, and she waited for him to withdraw his hand. He took his time, but eventually he did.

  “According to your brother and future sister-in-law, you haven’t changed a bit.”

  “Traitors, both of them.”

  “Can you deny it?”

  He sighed. “No, they’re right.”

  Tara wanted to be grateful for his honesty, but the victory felt hollow. His words weren’t the ones she’d been hoping to hear.

  He rested his hand on her bare thigh. “That doesn’t mean I can’t change. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to change. It feels like we have something here, something special. I’d really like to explore that.”

  Tara looked down at his hand. For weeks she’d been telling herself that her friends were right about him, but what if they weren’t? What if he really was ready to change and she failed to give him the chance to prove it?

  ***

  Keith could tell she was waging an internal battle. Her trust wouldn’t come quickly or easily, but he would wait as long as it took. Leaning in, he whispered in her ear, “I’m wearing you down, I can tell.”

  She giggled and pushed against his shoulder. “Has anyone ever told you you’re like a dog with a bone? You just don’t give up, do you?”

  He held her eyes, refusing to let her look away. He prayed she would see the truth he couldn’t seem to convey with words. “Not when I want something as much as I want this. And I do want you, Tara.” He brushed his cheek against her face. “You have no idea how much.”

  “You want to have sex with me.” Her voice was husky, and she leaned in instead of drawing away.

  “Yes, I do.” Taking a chance she wouldn’t push him away, he inched closer. “But I want more than that. If you give me your body, you’re giving me your heart too. I get that. You can trust me not to break it. I swear.”

  Keith would cut off his arm before he’d break that promise. If anyone was at risk of getting hurt, it was him. He intended to tell his brother and future sister-in-law that as soon as he and Tara got home. That, and he wanted them to back the hell off and quit filling Tara’s mind with doubts about him. He deserved a chance, and he intended to earn it.

  Resting her head on his shoulder, she said, “I’m so confused, Keith. I don’t know what to think or how to feel anymore.”

  He put his arms around her, content just to hold her. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere, baby. You have all the time in the world to make up your mind about me.” Keith considered time his best friend at the moment. With every day that passed, he would be that much closer to earning her trust. She would see that he didn’t need other women, wild parties, or booze to have a good time anymore. He just needed her.

  ***

  When they returned to Keith’s condo, Tara retreated to the bathroom for a shower. He told her he needed to see Brent about something, but he should be back by the time she got out. They were both tired after a long day in the sun, so they agreed to watch a movie and order pizza before turning in early.

  Keith rehearsed what he wanted to say while in the elevator. He didn’t want to hurt his relationship with his brother, but he was determined to stand his ground. The biggest challenge would be convincing Ava. She loved Tara like a sister, and Brent would object to anything that upset his fiancée. Trying to divide and conquer the couple wasn’t an option. After knocking on the door, he paced the hallway.

  Ava opened the door and frowned when she saw him a few steps away. “What are you doing all the way over there?”

  “Can I talk to you guys for a minute? It’s important.”

  “Of course.” Ava held the door open. “Come on in. Brent’s in his office. I’ll go get him. Can I get you something to drink first?”

  “No, I’m good, thanks.”

  As Ava made her way down the hall, Keith admired the soft, feminine touches Ava had added to his brother’s penthouse. Even though they would only live there a few more months until their house was finished, she’d claimed she needed to make it feel more like a home than a museum. Brent gave her carte blanche to do whatever she wanted with the place. He said whatever made her happy made him happy. At the time, Keith had teased his brother about being whipped, but he was starting to understand. When you love someone, you put them first.

  Brent returned with Ava a few minutes later. Her lip gloss was smeared, and Brent was wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

  Keith smiled. “Sorry to interrupt, but this couldn’t wait.”

  Brent grinned. “No worries, man. Hey, you look like you got some sun today. What did you guys end up doing?”

  “We drove out to the Lewis’s place and just hung out for the day. It was nice.”

  “There’s not much to do out there,” Brent said. “Y’all go for a swim?”

  “Yeah, and we had a picnic, went for a walk. It was the perfect day for it.”

  Ava looked uncomfortable about the news Keith had spent a pleasant day with her best friend.

  “So listen, I need to talk to you guys,” Keith said. “You know Tara and I love you guys, but you need to back the hell off and let us do our thing.” So much for not rocking the boat. He’d intended to be firm, but he could tell he came across as antagonistic.

  “Excuse me?” Ava said, crossing her arms.

  His future sister-in-law was as protective of the people she loved as a mama bear, but Ava had to accept that she wasn’t the only one who cared about Tara and wanted her to be happy. He did too.

  “You’d better explain yourself,” Brent said, sitting down on the arm of the sofa. He placed his hand on the small of Ava’s back.

  “I like Tara. A lot.” That didn’t begin to describe his feelings, but he thought Tara should be the first person he told. “I think she’s a great girl.”

  Brent pulled Ava down on his lap. “And?”

  “I want to start seeing her.”

  Brent sighed. “I thought I told you how I feel about that.”

  “I don’t care how you feel. This isn’t about you.” Keith was one of the few people who could challenge Brent’s orders because of their mutual respect for the other’s opinions. Keith had been an integral part of helping Brent build his company, and they both knew it.

  “Please, Keith,” Ava said softly. “You know I’m crazy about you. I think you’re sweet, funny, generous, but…”

  “But you’re still
worried I’m going to hurt her?”

  “Your track record speaks for itself,” Brent muttered.

  Ava looked at Keith. “I love her. I’ve seen her get hurt too many times. I can’t let that happen again. Please try to understand.”

  Keith understood Ava’s concern. He would feel the same way, but that didn’t mean he was going to roll over and surrender. Tara was too important to him. “I’m not going to hurt her. I swear to you. I’m playing for keeps, Ava.”

  “I’ve heard that before,” Brent said. “More than once.”

  Raking a hand through his hair, Keith turned his back on the two people who seemed to be standing between him and the woman he was falling in love with. “Look, I may have said that a time or two when I was a kid, but this is the real deal.”

  “How do we know that?” Ava asked.

  “What the hell do you want from me?” Keith asked, throwing his hands up. “Do you want me to take an oath, sign it in blood? You tell me, what’s it gonna take to convince you I’m for real?”

  “Watch your goddamn mouth!” Brent said, setting Ava aside and moving in on Keith. “Don’t talk to her that way!”

  “Get the hell out of my face,” Keith said. The past few weeks were finally crushing him. “I’m sick and tired of you dictating to me like you have any right to call the shots in my goddamn life. I worked my ass off in school to get those sports scholarships so I wouldn’t be indebted to you. You asked me to come and work for you when I graduated. I didn’t come to you looking for a job. We both know I’m the best at what I do. You didn’t give me a goddamn thing. I earned it, and I would’ve worked my ass off to earn it with any company who gave me a shot. Let’s get one thing straight: you didn’t make me into the man I am today.” Keith was shaking by the time he finished his speech. The two brothers stood toe-to-toe.