A Family Like Hannah's

by Carol Ross

  “Pfft,” Hannah said, planting her hands on her hips. “You little tricksters are going to have to do better than a hat swap to fool me. I could tell you apart from the first day I met you, which was the day you were born by the way, and every day since. A hat...” Snatching Finn’s hat off of Gabe’s head, she settled it on her own and pulled it down over her ears until it rested just above her eyebrows. “There, does that make me look like Finn?”

  “Hannah,” they cried in unison, erupting with fresh fits of giggles, which somehow caused them to start skipping around while chanting something about hats.

  “These two...” Janie said with a smile and a helpless shrug. “Are you swimming today?”

  “No, I brought Lucas in for his lesson.”

  “I’m glad we ran into you because the boys have that field trip next week to the Alaska Zoo in Anchorage?”

  “Oh, that’s right. I bet they’re excited.”

  “They are bouncing off the walls, worse even than normal. But the reason I was going to call you is we had a cancellation. We have extra room, so I thought I’d ask if you or Tate, or both of you, would like to come along and bring Lucas?”

  “Yes, definitely. I’ll check my schedule and talk to Tate.”

  Lucas came out of the locker room. Upon spotting her, his face lit in a way that always made her heart swell with joy. He grinned when he saw the twins and she couldn’t contain her excitement at the thought of Lucas at the zoo.

  She continued to ponder the notion as she drove him home, imagining his face at seeing all those animals in real life.

  After parking in the driveway, they went inside. Tate greeted Lucas, and as soon as he moved into the living room to play, she presented Tate with the zoo opportunity.

  He appeared eager and enthusiastic at first, but then his face slowly fell, reminding her of the too-serious Tate she’d first met all those weeks ago. And she loved him the way he’d been these past several days—charming, attentive, funny and so attractive that sometimes when she looked at him she found it kind of hard to breathe. She loved him a little too much, that was the problem.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “The zoo...” He trailed off with a thoughtful, distressed expression. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of it already.”

  His reaction suddenly made sense to her.

  “Tate, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. No parent thinks of everything. That’s why there’s been a billion books written, and do you even have any idea how many parenting magazines and websites there are? We all need help and advice now and then. That’s why parents get together and vent. That’s what friends and family are for—Viktor, me, my brothers and sisters and my parents, Adele, Janie... We’re all here to help. Use whatever resources are at your disposal. That’s the way I see parenting anyway. That’s what all the parents I know do—the good ones that is.”

  His head dipped down thoughtfully. “I suppose you’re right.”

  “I am,” she said confidently.

  “Any chance you might be able to make this trip with us?”

  His hopeful tone warmed her so that she couldn’t contain a grin. “I’d love to and I’m pretty sure I can swing it.”

  He looked happy and more than a little relieved.

  “And speaking of using things...I have a confession to make.”

  There was something in his voice that caused her pulse to leap nervously. “Oh, yeah?” she squeaked.

  Hannah froze as he pushed away from the counter and moved closer to her. And closer still, right through her comfort zone until he was leaning next to her, one hip lightly grazing hers. He gripped the counter behind him and she tried not to stare at the way the muscles flexed in his arms and shoulders.

  His head dipped toward her ear, and her mouth went as dry as the Alaskan tundra when she felt his hot breath against her cheek.

  “Yes, I have been shamelessly using Lucas to get to you. Are you aware of that?”

  “I may have figured that out,” she managed with a gravelly rasp. She cleared her throat and tried to sound casual. “I’m glad you brought it up, though, because I want to talk to you about something.”

  “I’m not sorry.”

  At that she opened her mouth but shut it again, because she’d had every intention of telling him to stop, but something unexpected stirred within her in that moment.

  He emitted a soft chuckle, letting his eyes rove around her face before finally settling on her lips. Her knees went weak.

  His mouth twitched with humor. “I’ve heard that the whole single-dad thing works to pick up women. Brandy Quick invited Lucas and me to her son Ivan’s birthday party this weekend. She mentioned her divorce four times in less than three minutes.”

  “Hmm, sounds fun,” she said. Of course the single gals in town would know he was eligible. There was no doubt they’d already begun to swarm. That didn’t bother her...did it? Yes, okay, it bothered her a little, but she needed to stay focused on what was important. “The socializing would be great for Lucas.”

  “Nothing?”

  “Nothing?” She repeated, wondering if she’d misheard something.

  “Yes, really, nothing? No jealousy at all? See, the way I understand this...” He gestured between them. “I mention meeting other women and you pitch a fit of jealousy and then I know you still like me.”

  She sputtered out a laugh. “‘Pitch a fit of jealousy’? What is this—a soap opera?”

  She felt her humor fade when Tate’s intense gaze shifted back to her now-grinning mouth.

  “I love it when you laugh and when you smile.”

  No words surfaced on her lips, which was odd, she thought, because she always had words—too many usually. His gaze traveling over her again made her skin even warmer. She was sure the only eyes she’d ever seen that were darker blue than his were Lucas’s.

  “I love how easy you laugh. Like it’s always there under the surface just waiting to bubble up. And I love how you make Lucas giggle, and I love...”

  His lips were only inches from hers now and Hannah felt her body reacting with a weird mix of heat and alarm. If she kissed him again she didn’t think she’d be able to back away from a relationship this time. And there was just too much that was way too complicated and difficult.

  There was Snowy Sky and Lucas’s issues, which she knew they hadn’t seen the last of, but mostly it was the uncertainty she was facing with her leg. She hated that she didn’t feel confident that she and Tate could weather these obstacles. She suddenly became aware of her heartbeat, throbbing painfully.

  She stepped away. “Tate, I appreciate the confession and the fact that you’re not...sorry. It’s very flattering. And the flowers and gifts and homemade meals are wonderful. Especially the fairy. Hands down the nicest, most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me. I will cherish it forever.”

  His satisfied smile nearly halted her next words.

  “But you have to stop. I want to remain a part of Lucas’s life because I love him and I think it would devastate him if I backed out now. But you were right before when you said there can’t be anything more than friendship between us.”

  His face had taken on that hard edge that she now knew was a result of too much hurt and worry. It killed her to imagine she had brought it out with her words.

  “Why? Is it Spencer?”

  She shook her head, almost wishing it was. “No, it’s not Spencer. Spencer and I are over for good. But seeing him did make me realize some things. The most important of which is that I’m not ready for more with...”

  “Me?” he finished for her.

  “Anyone,” she corrected softly, reminded of her leg. Because that was probably true; she would have to tell any man she got involved with about her leg. Even though she couldn’t imagine thinkin
g about anyone other than Tate.

  He swallowed hard and looked away. Then his eyes latched back on to hers and she wished more than anything that things were different.

  “Okay,” he said quietly. “For now.”

  Forever, she thought, and wanted to cry. Her crying outburst at Big G had seemed to open up some kind of trapdoor of emotion that she couldn’t quite get closed again.

  “I need to get to work now, but can I still tell Janie we’re good to go for the zoo? Think we can handle it?”

  “Of course.”

  * * *

  STROLLING THROUGH THE Anchorage zoo, the three of them joined by hands with a delighted Lucas in the middle, Tate wondered how this day could possibly get any better.

  They stopped in front of the next exhibit.

  “Look, sea otters.” An older boy with a Seahawks cap stepped up beside Lucas.

  “They’re so cute.” A young teenaged girl joined them, leaning her elbows on the rail beside Lucas.

  “Actually those are river otters.” Lucas placed his hands on the ledge and stood on his toes for a better view.

  The kids shot him a curious sideways glance. “Really? How do you know?” the girl asked.

  “There’s lots of differences. But one thing is river otters sleep on land and sea otters sleep in water.” Lucas pointed to where an otter was napping in a den with at least two pups, parts of their furry brown bodies pressed against the thick glass.

  He began to explain some of the other distinctions while the older kids listened with rapt attention.

  Tate and Hannah exchanged smiles. Her eyes reflected the kind of contentment he felt. And that’s when he realized exactly how the day could get better; if Hannah would acknowledge her feelings for him.

  He knew she still felt something. In spite of what she’d said, he wasn’t giving up. She’d asked him to back off, but she’d never said her feelings had changed. And that was enough for him.

  After they’d seen every single exhibit, which Lucas meticulously tracked on the folding map a safari-clad zoo employee had handed him as they arrived, they zigzagged back to check out his favorites once again. Otters, wolves and marmots seemed to be in a three-way tie and by the time they reached the gift-shop exit where the party was to meet up again, they were all getting tired.

  Tate wandered closer to the information board to read about a particular bear in the zoo when he caught a glimpse of a woman walking quickly in the other direction. Something about her reminded him of Penny. He focused his attention on the board, refusing to allow anything to spoil this day.

  Penny was right where she needed to be and out of their lives forever. He was determined to see that’s where she stayed, so why did he feel this uncomfortable mix of doubt and guilt when he thought about her? He knew his mother had suffered a terrible childhood of her own.

  He was only now fully realizing how her experiences had in turn shaped her treatment of him and Lexie. Caring for Lucas had made him see how difficult it was to raise a child when you weren’t equipped emotionally in your own right. If he hadn’t met Viktor he would be even more clueless than he already was.

  Plus, he was learning so much from Hannah. Just watching her with kids and talking about what might be best for Lucas seemed to make the process easier. Being with her made him believe that he really could overcome some of the damage Penny had done to Lucas—and maybe even some that he had suffered, as well.

  Hannah gave him hope, and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was too late for Penny?

  * * *

  “THERE ARE SO many forms.” Hannah thrummed her fingers through the stack of paperwork piled on the table in front of Tate. “You’re going to have Jonah look them over when you’re through?”

  He glanced up from the form he was currently working on. “Yeah, he said he could handle a lot of the legal work for me. This is just the initial filing and stuff.”

  “Well, it’ll definitely be worth it.” She cast him an encouraging grin.

  “I’m reading through these forms and I keep thinking about something. You know what would make it even better?”

  “What’s that?”

  As he focused his gaze firmly on her, her pulse began that hard, heavy thud that only Tate seemed able to induce.

  “If we were adopting him.”

  “Wh-what?” she stammered.

  “Marry me, Hannah.”

  “Tate!” She forced out a laugh because he had to be joking, didn’t he? “Do you honestly believe, in your decided lack of man wisdom, that my love for Lucas would extend that far?”

  He grinned at her and she felt a warm flush heat her body because he looked completely and utterly...

  “I’m serious. Think about it. This would be so much easier if we were adopting Lucas together. You said you were using me to get to him, so it occurred to me if we got married we could both adopt him and quit using each other. Lucas would be ours and we could raise him together. Great idea, huh?”

  Hannah had no words, a phenomenon she’d become more familiar with since he had entered her life. His suggestion was ridiculous. Yet all she could think about was what would he do if she actually said yes?

  * * *

  TATE WATCHED HER CLOSELY. He knew that he’d taken her by surprise, but he didn’t know how else to get through to her. Whenever he suggested they go out together just the two of them—he was careful to avoid the word date—she politely declined. When he tried to talk to her about anything even remotely resembling the subject of a relationship she made a joke. And when he flirted she simply shut down.

  He could see that he’d gotten to her and now that the question was out there he realized how desperately he wanted her to say yes.

  “You’re serious?” she repeated.

  “Yes. But before you say no, and tell me that this would not be a good reason to get married, consider that people get pregnant and then get married for the sake of the child all the time. Does it always work out? No, but a lot of times it does. We already have the child and I know Lucas would be enough to keep us together.

  “And okay, Lucas and I have problems and issues that you probably don’t want to take on—I get that. But, Hannah, you’re so...perfect. Lucas isn’t the only reason I’m asking. I want to marry you. I’m in love with you. I think I’ve been in love with you since the first moment I saw your face peeking up at me from that snowbank. I want to—”

  “Stop, Tate. Stop talking.” She stood. “I can’t. The answer is no, but not for the reasons you mentioned. I’m...I’m far from perfect. I’m flawed in ways you can’t even imagine. And while I appreciate the proposal and am tempted to say yes on a certain level—I have to say no.”

  Tate watched her go with a sinking heart even as he wondered what in the world she could be referring to. Hannah knew how amazing she was, how good she had it, didn’t she?

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  HANNAH HAD GONE into work early so she would be able to squeeze in a swim at the community center during lunchtime. Swimming was such a great workout with little impact on her leg. Checking the time—just a little before noon—she was happy to see she could catch the first few minutes of Lucas’s lesson.

  Across the parking lot she saw two figures emerge from the exit and begin hustling away. One of them looked like Lucas.

  That royal blue down jacket and the bright yellow stocking cap on a child’s retreating form would be difficult to mistake. The knitted creation Janie had made for him sported a green anaconda winding around the yellow cap so it appeared that the reptile was squeezing his head. He adored the hat, and the design and color combination made it easy to spot him from a distance.

  “Lucas?” she called out because he didn’t look up as he trudged along beside a woman she did not recognize.

  “Hey...” she said
jogging to catch up to them. The woman fisted her hand in the back of Lucas’s puffy jacket and steered him away. He stumbled sideways and Hannah felt a rush of fear. The strange occurrence at Big G flashed through her mind. What was going on here?

  She hurried forward until she was ahead of the pair and then turned into their path. Recognizing a pickup parked next to the curb as Viktor’s, Hannah knew he must be inside the community center. Her concern multiplied exponentially.

  “Excuse me? Who are you? And where are you going with Lucas?”

  “Hannah!” Lucas cried, throwing his arms around her waist. She reached down and patted his back.

  The woman turned on her. “Who are you?”

  Hannah nearly flinched as she felt the force of the woman’s hate-filled sneer.

  Penny. It had to be. What was her intention here? From everything she’d learned about this woman from Tate and Viktor, Hannah sensed she needed to tread carefully.

  “I’m Hannah, a friend.”

  She snorted and said, “A friend? I’ll just bet you are. I’m Penny. Lucas’s grandmother. Not that I need to explain anything to you. I’m taking my grandson.”

  “Taking him? Taking him where?”

  “Out for ice cream,” she shot back sarcastically.

  “Does Tate know about this? Because last I heard Viktor was bringing Lucas to his lesson today.”

  “Of course he does. Get in the car, Lucas,” Penny snapped. Lucas tightened his hold on Hannah.

  Lucas said, “I’m supposed to be at my swim lesson, but Grandma was waiting by the locker room. She said I had to go with her because Uncle Tate was waiting. But he’s not here, is he, Hannah?”

  “No, he’s not, Lucas. But I am.” She gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “You’re not taking this child anywhere.” She spoke calmly, letting the intensity of her glare underscore the words.

  Penny reached a hand in her purse which she’d been clutching tightly to her side. A flood of fear left Hannah’s skin prickling as she realized the woman could have anything in that bag—mace, a knife, a stun gun, a real gun... She backed up a few steps, shifting Lucas behind her as she did so.