Forgiveness

by Elise St. George

  “Son, it has been brought to my attention that you’ve upset Crystal and I need you to fix it,” he says.

  “No dad,” I say.

  “What did you say to me?” he bellows.

  “I said no,” I repeat. “You literally just walked up to me on what was supposed to be a milestone in my life to apologize to a girl who has made my life a living hell. A girl that you pushed me into pursuing even though it was against my better judgment. She accused me of getting her pregnant and I told her it was bullshit, and daddy’s little girl got upset that I wouldn’t go along with her bullshit story.”

  “Listen here, young man,” he starts to lecture. “That girl is carrying your child and --”

  I hear a throat clear behind me, turn around, and see Adam.

  “Excuse me, sir,” he says in the most condescending voice I’ve ever heard.

  “What do you want thug?” father snaps. “I know you and that girl are the reason my son has been acting out lately.”

  “Whatever man,” he says. “Before you start lecturing your son on his responsibilities as a parent, you should probably check your e-mail. By the way, if you don’t lay off your son, this entire video is getting e-mail blasted throughout the entire police department and I can make it look like you were the one who sent it. Bye-bye promotion.”

  Adam saunters off while my father starts scrolling through his phone. He opens up the file and it’s a video of my whole altercation with Crystal, including all the people that raised their hands as potential fathers. My dad’s face gets more and more red as he watches the video until he finally shuts his phone and glares at Adam, who is now on the other side of the gym with his mom and his club family. We’re not even friends anymore, and he still has my back.

  Then, my mom clears her throat and I know it’s time to spill the beans.

  “Honey,” she says to me. “I think now would be a good time to tell your dad about your plans after graduation.”

  “What plans?” he says.

  “I’m moving to Atlanta tomorrow and joining the Atlanta Police Department,” I tell him.

  “You’re what?” he yells in the gym. By this time, we’re attracting a lot of attention from the people around us. Before dad can go off on another rant, mom steps in.

  “Isn’t that great, honey?” she says in the voice she uses to placate his ego. “Now your son can truly follow in your footsteps by starting at the police department where his father started.”

  In one statement, dad went from being mad beyond belief to smug as hell. Mom looks at me and winks, and I smile. After that, dad walks around the gym schmoozing with his police buddies and bragging to them about how his son will follow in his footsteps in Atlanta. I thank mom, hug her, and take a few pictures. As I head out to my car to go home and pack, I see Harley. I almost want to say something to her but she’s surrounded by the Burnt Kings and they’re all giving me death glares so I just decide to get in my car and go.

  When I get home, I start packing my stuff and thinking about the adventure that lies ahead of me. For the first time in a long time, I feel positive about the future and I can’t wait.

  PART TWO - LOVE, MARRIAGE, AND HEARTBREAK

  Chapter 17 - Harley, 17 years old

  It’s my senior year of high school, and I cannot wait for it to be over. My grades are good and I’m still tutoring as an extracurricular activity. I'm really glad I decided to do it again this year. Thankfully, tutoring isn’t as drama-filled as it was last year and I’m tutoring female athletes this year. Apparently, the football coach had nothing but great things to say last year so all the coaches wanted me tutoring their struggling athletes.

  Momma and I decided that it would be best if I finished out the school year living with Hawk and Loki since it’s been such a stable environment for me. Momma and Hammer tried to work on things, but once again, Hammer got caught cheating and it’s starting to seem like that was the last straw for momma. She hasn’t filed for divorce yet, but I haven’t seen momma cry over Hammer in a long time. Hell, he treats her so badly that I can’t even remember the last time Ace called Hammer dad. I can’t even blame him, Hammer hasn’t been much of a father figure to either of us in a long time.

  This past summer was so much fun. I rode bikes with Loki and hung out with the rest of the guys at the garage pretty much every day. Ratchet’s twin was home on leave and got married to his high school sweetheart, and the wedding was beautiful. We barbequed pretty much every weekend, and Loki and I went to the pool a lot. I can honestly say that I started the school year off with a pretty killer tan.

  My classes this year are pretty easy, which is good. I have a couple of hard classes so it doesn’t look like I coasted my senior year, and now I’m just getting ready to submit my college applications. I submitted an application to all the local colleges, but my number one school is Georgia Tech. It’s in Atlanta, so I can live in the city but still be within driving distance of home.

  The first day of school went by pretty quickly and I actually ended up making a new friend. A girl named Olivia moved to our town over the summer and she’s also a senior, and she’s basically become my spirit animal. She’s almost like a female version of Loki, and his interest in her when I first introduced them hasn’t escaped my attention either. I never expected to have a close friend at school this year, so I got really lucky that Livy moved here even if Loki is always inviting himself to hang out with us.

  The coolest part about becoming friends with Livy is that we discovered we have the same birthday, and as soon as momma found out, she started planning a joint birthday party. Livy doesn’t know her father, and her mother is selfish as hell so my mom has taken it upon herself to ‘mother’ Livy. I’ve even brought Livy to the garage and the clubhouse a few times, and all the guys love her and think of her as another little sister....well, everybody but Loki.

  The other great thing about meeting her is that she’s in half my classes so I have a study partner too. We’ve gotten really close the first few months of the school year and I’ve told her all about the Steve situation, and I’m pretty sure Loki filled in some blanks for her too, especially after some of Crystal’s flunkies approached me at the clubhouse. That whole group of girls are now club whores, which isn’t shocking considering they were up my brother’s ass in high school. Ace and his friends are all officially patched in members of the club, and Loki shouldn’t be too far behind them.

  Livy and I go to the garage after school to hang out with the guys when Ace approaches me. I’m not sure he’s even noticed, but he’s basically been using the garage to set up a new generation of club officers. All the men in here are going to be running this club ten years down the road...there’s no doubt in my mind.

  “Hey baby girl,” he says. “How ya doing?”

  “I’m good,” I respond. “What’s up?”

  “Tank wants you to follow us to the clubhouse when you and Livy are done studying,” he says.

  Tank is the current president of the Burnt Kings. He’s always intimidated me a little bit, but he adores momma so I can’t dislike him. Honestly, I was always surprised he never stepped into the situation between my parents so I think it’s a little weird that he wants to see me.

  “Why does he want to see me?” I ask.

  “I don’t know. Tank is pretty close-mouthed about a lot of things but he always has his reasons for what he does. I respect him a lot, and I don’t think he wants to meet with you for anything negative,” Ace tells me.

  “Ok,” I say. “I’ll take Livy home first and then head to the clubhouse.”

  “No,” Ace says. “Tank specifically said he wanted both of you there. I’m not sure why, but that’s what he said.”

  That’s weird, but I go with it. Ace is right...Tank would never purposely endanger me or Livy even if I’m confused about why he wants to meet with both of us. I head back over to Livy and let her know we’re going to the clubhouse after we’re done and she’s cool with it. We wrap up stud
ying and Livy hops on the back of my bike so we can follow the guys to the clubhouse. We pull up and I park my bike next to all the others, and we head into the clubhouse. All the men are here and a few club whores and they’re hanging out and drinking.

  “Tank wants you two to meet him in his office,” he says. We head to Tank’s office and both of us are walking a little slowly.

  “Why do I feel like we’re going to the principal’s office?” asks Livy. Ace starts laughing behind us.

  “He’s not that scary,” he says. “I promise.”

  We head into the office and Tank is sitting at his desk. They call him Tank for a reason because I’ve never seen a bigger man in my life. He’s wearing spectacles too and it’s giving me a Santa Claus type of vibe and I immediately feel more comfortable.

  “Harley,” he says while clearing his throat. “And Livy please sit down.” I didn’t even know Tank knew her name. We sit there for a while before he finally clears his throat.

  “So I know it’s getting closer to homecoming, right?” he asks.

  “Yea,” I say. “I’m not sure if we’re going, though.”

  “Loki mentioned that,” he says. He takes his glasses off and looks at both of us. “So I wanted to know if you want to do what we did for prom last year and have a party here.”

  “Last year?” Livy asks.

  “Loki and I didn’t want to go to prom last year because of the homecoming debacle I told you about so the club threw us a prom here. Everybody dressed up and we had a lot of fun,” I explain.

  “Oh,” she says. “That actually sounds like more fun than actual prom.”

  “It was,” I say with a smile. Tank clears his throat again and we direct our attention back to him.

  “I was just wondering if you wanted to do it again. Some of the men have been mentioning it to me since homecoming is approaching,” he says.

  It does sound like a lot of fun, but I look at Livy to make sure that’s what she wants too. She nods and I smile at Tank.

  “We would love to do that again this year. Thank you so much Tank,” I say.

  He smiles at me and then looks at Livy. There’s something in his eyes that I can’t quite place, but I’m sure it’s nothing.

  “Now Livy,” he continues. “Do you mind going to hang out with Loki and the boys so I can talk to Harley about a few personal things?”

  “No problem.” She walks back out to the main room while I sit there and have Tank stare at me. It’s a little unnerving, but I don’t feel threatened. It feels like he knows everything about me without even having a conversation with me. As I said, it’s super unnerving.

  “I wanted to speak to you alone for a few reasons, and I feel like I owe you an explanation as well as an apology,” he says.

  “Explanation?” I ask.

  “Yes, I’m sorry that I didn’t intervene when Hammer was treating Janie the way he was. I was going to, at first, but Janie told me to back off. It’s one of the few decisions I regret as president because I know Hammer’s actions are from jealousy,” he explains.

  “Jealousy?” I ask.

  “You haven’t realized how jealous Hammer is of Ace? Of your uncle?” he asks. “Hell, Hammer has been jealous of me ever since we founded the club, you don’t think he’ll be mad that his son is about to do something that he could never do?”

  Wow. I always thought Ace was leadership material, but I didn’t realize Tank was already looking for his successor.

  “You’re willing to give the president role over so easily to Ace?” I ask.

  It’s well known that a lot of club presidents aren’t willing to give up leadership to anyone. Hell, some of them sabotage their own clubs to keep their positions. Tank sighs and rubs his eyes, and for the first time in my life, he looks old and tired.

  “I’ve been doing this for a while, baby girl, and I’m tired. Your brother is the only person I feel comfortable handing this club over to. I’ve missed out on a lot by taking this position, but these men needed me. I sacrificed a lot for this club….the love of my life….my daughter….my family, and now I’m ready to take it all back and do what’s best for me. It seems and you and your brother have brought that to me, and I would be a fool not to take the opportunity to get my life back,” he explains.

  Me and my brother? What the hell is he talking about? I look at Tank again and start noticing that he looks familiar. No...he doesn’t look familiar, but he does resemble someone that I see pretty much every single day.

  “You’re Livy’s dad, aren’t you?” I ask. He looks and me and rubs his eyes before his eyes begin tearing up.

  “Yea,” he confirms. “Please don’t tell her yet because I want her to hear it from me. You brought Loki back to Hawk and now you’ve brought my daughter back to me, and the least I can do is make sure you have homecoming and prom experiences. I saw how much fun you and Loki had last year and I want to bring that same joy to my daughter.”

  One of the few times in my life, I’m speechless. I thought Hawk being Loki’s dad was a mind trip but this takes things to a whole different level. What are the chances that I ended up becoming friends with two other club kids without any of our knowledge? Life is crazy.

  “I won’t tell her,” I finally say. “But you need to tell her. Hell, you may want to tell Loki too.”

  “Loki?” he says. “Why ?”

  “As observative as you clearly seem to be, you haven’t noticed Loki’s interest in Livy?” I ask.

  Like any other father, except mine, Tank’s grip on his desk tightens. Clearly, he didn’t know about Loki’s interest in his daughter. He clears his throat like he’s trying to compose himself, takes a deep breath, then speaks.

  “I was going to tell you to send Ace in after you leave, but now I need you to send Loki in,” he says in an eerily calm voice. It makes me a little nervous and I’m not about to feed my best friend to the wolves.

  “I’ll do that if you promise to be nice Tank,” I respond. “He really cares about her and I don’t want you messing things up for them, especially when he could be a good support system for her when you tell her. He’s the only person that would understand what she’s going through.”

  He sits for a little while and then finally sighs.

  “Okay,” he says. “Send Loki in, and then I’ll talk to Ace afterward.”

  I nod and head out to the main room of the clubhouse. Loki and Livy are with the rest of the guys from the garage and they’re laughing. I walk up to the group and whisper to Loki that Tank wants to speak to him. He pales a little bit and then walks to Tank’s office. I’m not too worried about it since I know what they’re talking about so I ask Livy if she’s ready to head home. She looks in Loki’s direction.

  “He’ll be fine,” I say. “Come on, let’s go home.” She nods and we head home for the night

  I drop Livy off at her house before heading back to the house I share with Loki and Hawk. On my way home, I see my dad’s bike outside my house. I can’t help but to stop by and see what’s going on because my dad rarely comes to the house these days. When I walk through the door, I’m not surprised to hear the yelling but I am surprised to hear who the person yelling is...it’s momma. My sweet-tempered momma is yelling her head off, and it’s about goddam time.

  “I can’t believe you’re divorcing me Janie Lynn!” he says.

  “What do you expect?” she yells. “You knocked up our son’s girlfriend and were going to let that bitch try to pass your baby off as my son’s baby! You’re a piece of shit, Hammer. I’ve been putting up with your shit for a lot of years but I can’t believe you would do something like that to your own son. I’m done, Hammer. Pack your shit up and get the fuck out. You can disrespect me all you want, but you’re not treating my son like that.”

  “Your son?” Hammer yells. “Don’t you mean our son?”

  “Scott stopped being your son when you fucked around with his girlfriend and knocked her up,” she says quietly. “Just get out Hammer. I’m t
ired, I don’t feel like this shit right now, and our daughter just heard everything we just said.”

  Damn, momma notices everything. Hammer whirls around and stares at me, only just realizing that I was right behind him and heard everything. I’m speechless. I knew Hammer was a piece of shit, but how could he do something like that to his own son? For the first time in my life, I really see Hammer for the type of man he is and I hate him.

  “Baby girl,” he begins to say before I cut him off.

  “Don’t call me that. As far as I’m concerned you’re dead to me, Hammer. You’ve been so selfish ever since Ace started growing into his own. Are you so insecure that you would actively try to bring your own son down just because you’re jealous that Tank chose him? It’s more than enough that you cheat on momma with those club whores, but now you’re screwing over the man who has been a father figure to me the past few years,” I say.

  Hammer is speechless, and for the first time ever, he looks defeated and resigned to the fact that he’s completely lost his family. He goes upstairs, packs a bag, and leaves while momma and I sit in the living room. As soon as he leaves, momma turns to me and hugs me.

  “You can’t tell Scott about Sarah, baby girl. It would break him in a way that I’m not sure he could recover from. Not because of Sarah, but because of Hammer’s betrayal. Scott will eventually find out on his own, and all we can do is be there to support him when the shit hits the fan,” she says.

  I don’t say anything but just nod my head. I definitely don’t want to be the person to tell Ace about Hammer and the skank, and if momma doesn’t want me to say anything then I won’t. It’s Sarah and Hammer’s job to let Ace know anyways.