Forgiveness

by Elise St. George

  “Momma, come over to Hawk’s house with me and hang out with us, I think it’ll lift your spirits and they have another spare bedroom. I don’t think Hawk would mind and it’ll be a great way to get this stuff off your mind,” I say.

  I thought she would protest at first, but she actually agreed and we walked over to the house. Hawk welcomed her in with open arms. He ordered some pizza and mom and I hung out with Loki and Hawk all night...we were joking and talking shit. It was so much fun, and I remember a similar time when I first moved in here. The only thing that would be perfect is if Ace were here, but I’m not sure I’d be able to keep my mouth shut. Eventually, I fall asleep with my head in momma’s lap. I know she’ll be happy again and it calms my soul.

  Chapter 18 - Steve, 19 years old

  Today is my birthday and it’s a little strange because my life has changed so much in the past few months. I joined the Atlanta Police Department and finished at the top of my class. I ended up being partnered with the man whose basement I’m renting. We got off to a rocky start at first, but apparently, he grew up with my mom and the department decided to make him my partner. His name is Doug, and ironically, he’s part of a police affiliated motorcycle club which I didn’t even know existed. He grew up in a club when he was younger, but decided to join the force instead. Being part of the police riding club gives him the best of both worlds.

  We didn’t hit it off until I asked about his bike. His honesty prompted me to tell him about Harley and how I screwed things up with her. Weirdly enough, it made us closer and he started telling me stories about my mom growing up. Up until now, I’d never met someone from her life before my dad. Hell, I haven’t even heard her mention anything about her parents, and I’m too scared to ask Doug about them. He’s been a really great partner and shown me the ropes in Atlanta, and I’ve been able to carve out a pretty decent life out here.

  My mom comes to visit once a week and gives updates on Adam, and it seems like he’s making a name for himself with the Burnt Kings. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing because I’m still on the fence about who the real criminals are back home. Mom doesn’t really mention dad too much, but I think that’s for Doug’s benefit more than mine. The longer I live and work beside him, the more I’m realizing that Doug and my mom were a thing once upon a time.

  Looking at the awkwardness between them is the reason why I haven’t dated since moving here. Seeing mom and Doug together makes me realize that those two belong together. She makes him talkative and more open, while he makes her comfortable to be herself. Too bad she’s still playing Stepford wife to my dad.

  I’ve been able to learn a lot from Doug these past few months and he’s been helping me keep my mind off Harley. I haven’t been able to date because I can’t get over what Harley and I could’ve been. I want to live here for about five years and then head back home and try to make a life with Harley. I’m not sure if I’ll work for the sheriff’s office, but I do know that I want her in my life. Even if she’s met someone by now, I still want her friendship.

  I’m sitting in the patrol car with Doug when I get a text from Adam to call him as soon as I can. Once Doug and I head back to the precinct, I sit at my desk and call Adam. We text back and forth, but this is the first time that we’ve spoken since graduation. The phone starts to ring, and I’m a little nervous.

  “Steve, what up man? Calling me from that cop phone of yours I see,” he says with a laugh.

  I laugh back. “Hey, Adam, what’s up? Yea, man. I’m sitting at my desk finishing up some paperwork and figured I’d give you a call. What’s up?” I ask.

  “I don’t go by Adam anymore man, I pretty much only go by Loki now. I’ll be your way this weekend and wanted to know if you wanted to go for a drink or something,” he says. I’m actually excited that he’s reaching out because losing his friendship, as well as his respect, always tore me up inside.

  “Sure, Loki,” I say. “I promise not to take you to a cop bar.”

  He laughs. “Cool. Well, I’ll see you this weekend.”

  “Alright, man,” I respond. I hang up the phone and lean back in my chair, and for the first time in a while, I feel like I could really get the life I’ve always wanted.

  Chapter 19 - Harley, 18 years old

  It’s my birthday. I’m officially an adult, and to top it all off, I got into my first choice for college. I will officially be a freshman at Georgia Tech University in Atlanta, Georgia next school year. The other great news is that Livy got into Emory so she’ll be in Atlanta too, and I think we may live together. We’re planning on going up to Atlanta so we can tour both the campuses together this weekend and I can’t wait.

  The club is throwing us a birthday party and we’re having so much fun. Livy is about to cry because she’s never had anyone care about her birthday like this before, and tonight is the night that Tank is supposed to reveal the truth to Livy so she really needs to save some tears before she runs out. Livy’s mom doesn’t give a shit about her, and I’m excited that my friend finally gets a chance to have a parent figure that actually cares about her.

  After everyone sings us the birthday song and we blow out the candles, I see Tank pull Livy aside and speak to her. She starts sobbing and he puts his arms around her. They walk back to Tank’s office so she can get herself together and Loki isn’t too far behind them. I knew he had feelings for her, and I’m glad she’ll have someone to support her that understands what she’s going through.

  Once Livy comes back, we start opening our presents, and we got some really great stuff to start off at college. Ace gifted me with a new car, while Tank bought one for Livy. Loki also gave us matching charm necklaces and, at this point, Livy is basically sobbing. I understand how overwhelming all this is for her so I give Loki a look and he takes her hand and they go outside to talk. Loki will fix things, I know it.

  Momma approaches me with an envelope in her hand. I open the envelope and it’s a piece of paper for a hotel upgrade. I look at mom with a question in my eyes and she explains what it means right as Loki and Livy walk back inside.

  “Well, I didn’t know what to get you for your birthday, so I decided to upgrade your hotel this weekend to a suite,” she says. Livy and I both throw our arms around her.

  “Wow,” I say. “ Thanks, momma. I really appreciate it.”

  Tank steps up to momma with another piece of paper in his hands, and now I’m super curious. Ever since Tank told me he was Livy’s father, he’s been more talkative towards me than ever and it’s a little strange.

  “Now,” he says. “For our final presentation. This present is from the whole club to our two club princesses. We have decided to pay the first year’s rent on your apartment for school.”

  Livy and I scream in excitement and throw ourselves into our parents’ arms. Livy is sobbing in Tank’s arms, and Tank starts tearing up too. This time last year, the only people I really had to celebrate my birthday with were momma, Ace, and his friends. Now, I have Loki, Livy, and a whole club supporting me more than they ever did before. This has been the best birthday ever.

  * * *

  It’s the weekend Livy and I are doing our college visits. We’re driving to Atlanta with Loki and having the time of our lives. The drive isn’t too long, and Loki is making it so much fun. He has a great sense of humor and he’s keeping things light the whole car ride. Loki came with us to Atlanta for two reasons: 1) he said he wasn’t letting his two best friends wander around the city alone, and 2) he’s supposed to be meeting with the Burnt Kings mother chapter in Atlanta for some club business.

  We left early in the morning so we could get there in enough time for the tours that we have scheduled. When we get to the city, it’s too early to check into the hotel so we go straight to our first campus tour at Emory. The campus is beautiful and I can tell that Livy is enamored by the campus and the teachers. I know she’ll fit in great here.

  Next, we visit Georgia Tech’s campus and I’m excited.
There aren’t a lot of women on this campus, and you can tell that it bothers Loki a little bit, but he’s being a good sport about going on these tours with us. After the tour, I feel confident that this is the school that I want to attend next fall and I’m just excited about the future.

  After the tours, we check into our hotel and Loki leaves us in the hotel to meet up the national president of the Burnt Kings. The suite mom upgraded for us is amazing, and we each have our own rooms. Apparently, Tank didn’t feel comfortable with us running around a strange city for food so he told us to order room service if we were hungry and the club would pay for it. It definitely pays off to be the best friend of the president’s daughter.

  Livy and I are exhausted after the campus tours so we order room service and gorge ourselves on food, then we turn on the Lifetime channel and watch cheesy romances until Loki comes back. We’re both about to nod off until a big ass biker throws himself onto the couch with us.

  “Well, I clearly missed a party,” he says with a laugh while we roll our eyes. “You guys want to do some sightseeing for the rest of the day and then go shopping tomorrow? The national prez gave me a list of places we can see and some shopping centers we can go to.”

  He had us hooked as soon as he mentioned shopping. Catching a second wind, Livy and I jump off the couch and run to our room to get changed. We go sightseeing across Atlanta, and I’m glad I could do this on the club’s dime because I would’ve probably never gone to any of these places on my own. We go to the World of Coca-Cola, the aquarium, and then ended the tour at the Trap Museum (per Livy’s request). We eat dinner at a restaurant down the street from the hotel, and we’re so tired that we all pass out. This has been a really great start to our weekend, and I’m glad I was able to spend time alone with my two best friends before we all start our adult lives.

  Chapter 20 - Steve, 19 years old

  I took off work today so I could meet up with Loki for an afternoon beer, and Doug decided to tag along with me. Even though I told him what I did to Harley and Loki, I don’t think he trusts us alone together. I keep my word and send him the address of a small dive bar that I like to hang out at. They’re the only bar, other than the local cop bar, that doesn’t card me so I go there a lot to get away from everything.

  I get to the bar and Loki is already there with a beer in his hand. I guess they didn’t card him either...as cops, we should probably do something about it but I don’t really care about the petty crimes like this as long as no one gets hurt. He sees us walk in, shakes my hand, and introduces himself to Doug. Doug looks wary but eventually gets comfortable enough to grab a beer too.

  “I wanted to meet up with you so I could talk,” he starts. “I’m going to be moving here with Harley and her best friend at the end of the school year.”

  My jaw drops. “What? Harley is moving here?” I exclaim.

  “Yea,” he said. “I’m trying to temporarily transfer to the Burnt Kings mother chapter so I can be near Harley and her friend Livy while they're in school.”

  I’m so speechless I can’t even form words, even though I have questions to ask. Instead, Doug takes the lead and I’m grateful as hell.

  “Why are you telling him this? Seems to me like you didn’t want him and Harley to be together,” Doug says. You can take the cop-out of the precinct, but he’ll still be a cop.

  “I never said I didn’t want Steve and Harley together,” says Adam. “I told Steve that he couldn’t have both lives. He couldn’t have Harley and be his father’s golden child at the same time because Harley doesn’t fit into the picture-perfect mold. It also doesn’t help that the sheriff’s department actively partners up with the people trying to take her family down...the people that raised her when her parents weren’t able to do it themselves. Steve needed to choose and he chose wrong.”

  Doug grunts in agreement and I’m floored. I forgot how insightful Loki could be. It seems like he’s always thinking several steps ahead of everybody else and anticipates how people behave. I’m about to respond when he puts his hand up to stop me from speaking.

  “Let me finish, man. Harley got into her dream school, Georgia Tech, so she’ll be living in the city for the next four or five years. I think that you guys could really have something without the smalltown bullshit that always seems to interfere.”

  I’m speechless. I mean, I’d always hoped for another chance with Harley but I never dreamed it would be a real possibility. At this point, I’m so tongue-tied that I don’t know what to say and I’m almost scared to have any real hope. Once again, Doug steps in and says something for me.

  “Thanks for the information, Loki. Steve will think about what you said and figure out what his next moves are. He’ll let you know what he decides to do if you’re willing to help him out,” Doug says.

  Thank god for Doug...he’s become the father figure I never realized I needed. He listens to me and gives me great advice when I ask for it, and even when I don’t. Mom is so relaxed whenever he’s around, and it’s weird to see. Sometimes I wish Doug was my dad instead of my actual father, and then I feel guilty for thinking it. Either way, he’s helped me become a man in ways that my father never could.

  Loki nods and changes the subject to a lighter topic. Loki and Doug start trading stories, and laughing their asses at my expense. I’m glad I can get to a good place with Loki again, but while he and Doug are talking, the only thing I can think about is Harley moving here. I eventually tune into the conversation and realize that Doug is telling Loki about how I fell on my face chasing a suspect my first day on the job. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t fall in a pile of dog shit. Loki laughs his ass off, and I can tell Doug and Loki are going to get along well.

  I’m excited now. My old life and my new life are coming together for the first time, and it’s looking like I could have a real chance with Harley.

  * * *

  It’s been a few months since Loki was in town and told me about Harley, and it’s all I’ve been able to think about other than work. Doug hasn’t brought it up yet, but I have a feeling he told my mom about it because every time I speak to her she asks if I’m doing okay. She even started watching out for Harley once she realized how serious I really was about her.

  Doug and I just finished taking two carjackers to the jail when I get called to the police chief’s office. I haven’t really spoken to Chief Teague before because I’m one of those guys who likes to keep his head down in the department. Unlike my father, I’m not ambitious, but if the detectives ask me for my input, I usually give it. I walk into the office and the chief is sitting at his desk on the phone. He waves me in and motions me to sit down. I sit down in front of his desk and wait for him to finish up his call. When he does, he finishes up some things on his computer and clears his throat to get my attention.

  “So Steve,” he starts. “I know we haven’t spoken before, but I’ve heard some really great things from your colleagues.”

  “Really?” I say with surprise. He chuckles.

  “Yea, son,” he continues. “I’m not going to lie to you kid, but a lot of people in this department remember your father and didn’t think you’d make it this far. Your dad had the ambition but lacked the talent to lead. You, on the other hand, could move up in this department if you really wanted to.”

  “Seriously?” I say. He laughs again.

  “Don’t be so surprised kid. You have a natural knack for detective work. Why do you think the detectives keep asking your opinion on their cases? You always find something that they miss. You’re too young to take the detective’s exam, but you’ll be old enough in a little over a year. I’m telling you this now so you’ll consider it, and maybe your drive to take the exam will get Doug off his lazy ass,” he says.

  “Doug?” I ask.

  “I’ve been trying to get that son of a bitch to be a detective for years now and he refuses to do it. You’re literally the only person I’ve partnered up with that he can actually stand,” Chief Willi
ams confides. “Maybe if you express interest, he’ll take it and we can keep you two together as partners. You guys work really great together. I’m surprised since Doug doesn’t get along with a lot of people.”

  I think my mom has a lot to do with that, but I won’t tell the chief. I thank him for the compliments and head to my desk to finish up my paperwork. Everything has been looking up so far. Harley is moving to the city and I have a real chance of making detective next year. Things seem to be going my way.

  Chapter 21 - Harley, 18 years old

  Our club version of homecoming was just as fun as club prom last year, and I think this may become a tradition for the club kids moving forward. We don’t really fit in this town since the club takes business away from the people in power, and it’s nice that we can have the club to lean on for support when we need it.

  Livy and I have had a really great year and our grades are looking great. The closer we get to the end of the school year, the more excited and sad I become. I’m sad because, for the first time, I really feel like I’m part of the club family and I’m sad to leave everybody. A lot of people distanced themselves because of the drama between Hammer and momma, but now that momma is officially divorced from Hammer, everybody comes around. Apparently, everyone wanted momma to divorce Hammer. Hammer hasn’t been around since momma divorced him and we’re all secretly relieved.

  Now that Hammer is gone, Livy and I are living with momma full time. Apparently, Tank funded Livy’s move here with her mother and wanted to meet Livy as soon as they moved to town. Livy confronted her mom about it and her mom kicked her out of the house. Momma (obviously) took Livy in, and it’s been the three of us ever since. Loki, as usual, is always around but I think it more to do with Livy than it has to do with me. Honestly, I think it’s great. I just hope they don’t put me in the middle of their relationship drama because I’m not sure whose side I would choose.