The Many Lives of Avery Snow

by Christy Sloat

  “You’re right. Dallas is very special to me. I’m in love with him too.” Wow I actually said it and meant it. It was a strange feeling to be in love with two people. One person I was getting to know and trust and he felt the same for me. The other I knew so deep in past lives and not even a little in this life. His touch so familiar yet distant but I could say I was in love with this man. So in love it touched my soul.

  “Then why are you here with me? Why did you kiss me?” He seemed mad. Led on was he? Well so was I. Now I was pissed. He was starting to accuse me of being the main kisser. No way was he the one who pursued me and he kissed me first.

  “You kissed me too, let’s not forget. I don’t know why I kissed you. I guess I was attracted to you, I felt drawn to you and we had been talking on the phone for a while,” I paused took a deep breath and continued my speech. “I wanted to kiss you the day I met you, like I want to kiss you now. It’s an urge I feel inside me. I came here today to tell you that I can’t see you again. I know now what I want and it’s Dallas. Like I said, I love him. We were wrong.”

  I tried to act calmly as to not draw too much attention to us. Here we were arguing about a kiss. One stupid, terrific kiss. I guess that’s all it can take to change someone.

  His expression changed from mad to sad. His hard face looked sorrowful. My heart hurt. I wanted him to love me and I wanted to love him for all my life but I knew that this was the wrong feeling and I had to let him go. For Dallas and for myself. Dallas was the man I was in love with in this life and I would not ruin that. Not for lust and not for my past. The past had to die. Dallas deserved someone to be with who was true to him. I was going to be that woman. I had to shut this feeling for Landon off like a switch. I stood up stared him in the eye, looking into the soul of my past lover, friend and husband and I walked out of the coffee shop.

  As I walked to my car he followed. I tried to not turn back to look at him but he grabbed my arm and turned me around to face him.

  “Wait this is what we both want, right? Just let me go Landon. I can’t do this to Dallas. He loves me and I love him. You know that it is the right thing to do. I see the pain in your eyes. I have to go.” I yanked away from him and got into my car. I rolled down the window to say goodbye again when he said the most unexpected response.

  “Are you going to pretend forever Avery that you don’t feel it or remember me?”

  I gulped and tried to keep a calm face as my hands now started to shake.

  “Feel what Landon, an attraction? Yes I do but like you said I don’t even know you.” I tried to divert.

  “Oh yes you do. You have known me for a long time. I know you know that. You saw it today, didn’t you, when I touched you? You saw our life, our kids and you saw our love. How can I let you go when I have searched for you all my life and now here you are right in front of me? My sunshine.” Our song, the song he sang to me on the porch. I remembered everything. Every moment flashed into my head. He used to call me his sunshine. He knew, he knows. What was I going to say?

  “You sound very confused. You just told me you can’t do this to your blood and now you want to do it. You need some real help. Just let it go, let us go. I love someone else and I can’t do this again to another person. I don’t want to remember anymore. I want my life to go back to normal again. I just want to be without this drama. I am a different person this time.” I was practically screaming at him.

  “So it is you. Wow, all this time here you are. You did see it didn’t you? What about the first time we met did you see that too?” He asked me.

  I thought about our first meeting and the vision I saw of me in my wedding dress. I nodded. He started to get tears in his eyes. I did as well. I didn’t know this would be so hard, to say goodbye to my past life that I didn’t even really know anymore. I was not those women any longer. I’m Avery Snow now and I love Dallas.

  “I have to go, I have something to do. Landon you have to let go. You and I both know that is the best thing to do so that no one else gets hurt. He is your cousin and you said it yourself, he loves me. Isn’t that enough to know that I will be taken care of by someone who loves me?”

  He slowly, with caution, reached for my hand and he leaned in my window to brush my hair away from my ear and whisper, “I will follow you to the end of forever. I love you more than anyone or anything. I will never lose hope and I will always remember our vows but I will let you go for now.”

  Chills ran over my body. I rolled my window up and drove to work. I had to talk to my best friend and I had to talk to her boyfriend.

  I arrived at Sunrise Estates and my eyes were burning with tears. I felt like I would never stop crying. The vision of Landon with tears in his eyes made me want to turn around and say I was sorry for hurting him but I knew I had to be the bad guy this time and just stay away. I had to talk to Kerri about it all. Even though she would think this all is not true and that I was truly crazy. Just then my phone rang and it was Aunt Paulina. Oh how I didn’t want to answer this phone right now.

  “Hi Aunt Paul what’s up?”

  “Just getting ready to go to lunch, I have a date.” She sounded elated.

  “Wow, good for you. I can’t talk right now. I want to hear details, but later though, okay? Will you call me later?”

  “Sure will! Love you Avery.” She hung up. I felt bad for being so mean just now but I really didn’t want to talk about things like that at this moment. I needed my friend.

  There she sat at her desk looking as beautiful as ever. My best friend who I had been treating like a simple stranger lately and she did not deserve that. She looked up with her glasses hanging on the end of her nose. She smiled at me and I felt so much better. I walked right into her office and slumped down in the chair. I was drained of all emotion and I felt so exhausted.

  “Why on earth are you here on your day off?” She asked with eyebrows arched.

  “What can I say? I missed you.”

  “No Avery, really what’s up? You look nice by the way. Did you and Dallas have a date this morning?” Oh boy did I have a lot to tell her. Where would I start? How do I explain all the unbelievable details? She was my best friend and I knew she would stand by me but whether or not she would believe me that I do not know. Just as I opened my mouth to try to explain her cell phone rang. The ring tone was the sound of a rainforest. It was very relaxing. She put her finger up at me as a sign to hold my thought.

  “Hello stranger….” Her voice went very sultry. That was my sign to exit the office. I didn’t want to hear her conversation with Justin or whoever it was on the other line. So I walked over to see Mr. Grey. He was out in the corridor watching the birds on the ground as he threw small bits of bread for them to eat.

  “Hi,” I said as I sat next to him. He always made me feel a little better. He was like an escape to normality, a fresh perspective of life and a view of my possible future. Alone.

  “Oh, its you. I thought you had the day off my dear. Why are you here, surely not to visit me?”

  “No, just here to visit with Miss. Louse.” I always referred to Kerri by her last name. I felt it was more professional. “Feeding the birds huh, that’s awfully nice of you.”

  “Yeah I suppose. I was in a being nice kind of mood today,” he said. He turned back to his birds and continued to give them bread. One thing about Mr. Grey was that he was quiet and talking was not necessary in his world. I sat with him for a while in silence. I closed my eyes and leaned back into the bench. It was peaceful.

  “Avery, I’m done with my call. I can talk to you know,” Kerri said from the main office door. So much for the peaceful silence. I told Mr. Grey goodbye and went back into the office with Kerri.

  “Wow Av, I have so much to tell you. Justin is so perfect. He is the one, I just know. I can see it, you know, I just know.” Her grin was bigger than any I had ever seen on her face. I knew it was her time right now to tell me all about her last few weeks and my news, if I would call it that, would have t
o wait.

  I let Kerri talk all about Justin and his romantic ways, sending flowers, cards, and fruit baskets every day. His sweet text messages and how he professed his feelings for her just this morning when she left his house. She didn’t care that he was a psychic and she actually felt that it helped her to feel more trusting with him, since he bared his secret to her. I started to feel like maybe Justin White was not as bad as I thought. If he made Kerri feel this happy, then I was all for it. She carried on for at least an hour and I was just a happy listener. My duty as a best friend. After she was done spilling all her news she asked me how Dallas was.

  “Great, um, he really likes me and I think I feel the same. So it’s all good right?” She smiled. I smiled back, hiding the sadness that now dwelled in my soul for Landon. Would this feeling go away? Boy I hoped so. Knowing that Kerri’s party was only two days away, I told her I couldn’t wait to get to know Justin better and that Dallas would be there with me, even though I knew he would be working on a Saturday night.

  “Wow Avery, we’re finally happy like we deserve. I think Dallas and Justin will get along, don’t you?”

  “Oh most definitely. Listen Kerri, I hate to leave but I got to go, so see you tomorrow for my shift.” We hugged and then I left. Now I knew for sure that she was not mad at me for being distant and she was being taken care of I felt better. I had to see Dallas and tell him how I felt. He had been waiting long enough for an answer.

  I pulled up to the house and I saw his truck and bike in the driveway but I did not see Landon’s old car. I sighed with relief and I walked to the door. I knocked and there was no answer for a while. After several knocks Lisa came to the door.

  “Oh, Avery. Hi honey come on in. We are in the backyard and didn’t hear the door. Boy, don’t you look pretty today.” I blushed and tried not to feel too embarrassed. I entered the house and I saw boxes lining the entryway.

  “Unpacking?” I asked

  “No, unfortunately not. Packing up is more like it.”

  “You’re leaving?” I felt sad, I barely knew her but yet I didn’t want to see her go.

  “No, not me Landon. He is moving out into his own place. I told him Dallas has the room and there is no need to go but you know how boys can be. He found a great two bedroom apartment right on the bay. It’s really beautiful. Nice view. I think Dallas said it was near your apartments.”

  So he was moving out and closer to me. Great, now I had to constantly be seeing him. I hoped not. I could not stand to see his broken soul any longer. Maybe his apartment would be on the other side of the bay and nowhere near mine.

  “Really, huh. What is the name of the building?” I tried not to sound so forceful but I’m sure it came out that way.

  “Well you know I can’t really remember exactly, but I think it was Green something or other.”

  “Bayside Green Apartments?”

  “Oh yeah that’s it. How did you know?” She laughed and led me into the kitchen through to the backyard, not knowing that Bayside Green Apartments is where I live. He had to have known that I lived there. I remembered his last words to me that he would follow me to the end of forever.

  Chapter 12

  Dedrick

  Dallas was swimming in his pool when he looked up and saw me standing on the deck. He leapt out and his body was incredible. I got to see every tattoo he had and I never knew there were so many but I giggled inside feeling like I had won some sort of prize. He was absolutely the most perfect guy. He looked like a real tough guy with all those tattoos, even though he was a big softy.

  He wrapped a towel around his waist and came over to me. His dimples were showing and his smile was gleaming. He was happy to see me, that much I could tell for sure. He hugged me and got me all wet but I didn’t care one bit. When I was with him I felt like there was no one else. No Angels following me, no past haunting me, it was just him and I.

  “I came here to talk to you. You have a minute?”

  He froze and seemed like I had just wounded him. He was expecting bad news already. He led me into the house and up the stairs into his room. It was immaculate and very preppy, a blue and white Tommy Hilfiger plaid bedspread with matching drapes. His furniture was polished and neat. There was a blue rug on the floor and his shoes were neatly lined along his bed. He sat me on his bed and coughed, I guess to clear the air.

  “Well,” I started. “Something happened that I think you should know. It’s only fair to you and I want you to please keep an open mind and not get angry.” He nodded. “I met your cousin Landon before last week. I was driving to work and he was broken down on the road so I stopped to help him. He gave me his number and we have been talking on the phone on and off. He asked me out for coffee and if I could show him the town. Then you and I started to see each other. To be fair we were not committed yet, so I agreed. Then I saw him here and I found out who he was. When I came back in to get my cell phone, we sort of kissed. It was just a kiss, and I’m sorry it happened. We met today at the coffee shop and both agreed that we do not feel anything for each other. I told him I’m in love with you, and he told me he would never hurt you.” I stopped to breathe. I could not believe that I had told him all of this. I had also admitted that I was falling in love with him. He looked shocked and said nothing. I think it was all a bit overwhelming.

  “I came here today to tell you the truth. I’m not a liar and I do not keep secrets. If we are to start being serious with each other I wanted to tell you first off. Without you finding out later. I really do feel love for you and I don’t want to be with anyone else. You are what I have wanted for so long and it’s like a dream. I came here to be honest and that is what I did. Now please think it over.”

  I got up to leave and he did not try to stop me. He just sat there staring at the bed. Never looking up at me as I left the room.

  When I got home there were no messages on my voicemail, and no missed calls. I was so mad at myself in a way, but proud in others. I told him the truth but my heart ached and I felt so sad that he did not at least care that I was honest. Not only had I lost Dallas now because of my stupid mistake, I let Landon go as well. I was such a mess lately. Yes I was sleeping now and I was no longer a walking zombie but my so-calle-life was in shambles. My best friend couldn’t know about my situation nor could my aunt. After them there was no one else to talk to about it. Except for Ianni. She was no help to me even though she knew me more than I knew myself. Ugh. All she says is go see Justin White.

  I made my Yulu tea and just smelling its aroma calmed my nerves. I realized that my supply was getting low. I would need to stock up soon. I could hear rain hit my windows. A storm had hit. My lights went out. They only went out for a couple seconds but it was long enough to scare me. I ran into my room and turned on the TV while I lit a few candles, but not too many because I didn’t want to burn down my apartment. The ambiance was kind of relaxing. I lay there, mindlessly watching TV yet thinking of my day. The worst day besides the day mom died. It was like my heart was ripped in two. I felt a horrible sadness today, one I haven’t felt in many years. Maybe Ianni was right about speaking to mom. Maybe she could help me. Maybe she could just be there for me, as she should have been in times like this. I started to cry. I mourned my mother tonight. I thought of her touch and loving side that I missed. I didn’t see it too often, but when I did it was comforting. When Richard left she became tough. Her trusting embrace fell, much like my trusting side. Who was I to put up a wall? Look what I did to Landon and Dallas, I led them on. I did just what my ex did to me. Who was I to play these games with these two incredible men? Look at me. I was no one. Just some plain Jane with a dagger ready to rip your soul in half. My tea was now cool enough to drink but one sip and it was goodnight Avery. I laid my head on my pillow and felt a tear run down my face.

  The room was different this time. Cold and gray instead of welcoming. Landon was not here and neither was Ianni. I sat on the bed and dust flew around me. I coughed feeling it in my lungs. I l
ooked out into the night and there were no stars this time. A cold chill ran across my neck. I turned and found no one behind me. I wondered if this room was in my old home with Landon.

  “Ianni please come. I need you tonight. Where are you?” I called out. Silence. Then I heard a sound. It was piercing. What is it? I wondered and the fear took over my body. I started to run. It was like I was running in mud. My legs felt weak instantly. And then I saw feathers. This time they were black, ebony black. I touched one and he appeared in front of me, a large Angel with dark eyes. Black eyes. He stood in front of wings at full span. They must have been twelve feet wide from side to side. His dark black hair hung around his cold pale face. He looked like death. I screamed yet no sound came out of my mouth. He laughed, it was roaring and thundering. I could not move, scream or do anything else at this point. All he did was laugh and stand in front of me.

  Finally I realized this was my dream and I controlled it. He was in my head, in my world and I wanted him out. I had enough creepy Angels surrounding me. Enough drama in my life now. I closed my eyes and I called for Ianni. Pleaded for her to come and help me.

  Ianni you are my spirit guide and I need you. Please come, there is a horrid angel here and I don’t know what to do. Please Ianni help me!

  I opened my eyes and looked around and she was not there. He was still there. Yet he was not laughing. He had drawn in his wings.

  “What do you want from me?” I yelled, finally my voice was working. “I never have seen you before. Who are you?”

  “Did you know that the soul is most vulnerable in dreams? So it is my perfect time to talk to you. You needed me here, you may not see that now but you will. My name is Dedrick and I hold all the answers.”