The Many Lives of Avery Snow

by Christy Sloat

  I wondered where Ianni was. Who was she helping and guiding now when I need her? I felt like this was all up to me. How would I get my unbelieving dad to believe me?

  We pulled into an all night gas station and Dallas hopped out of the truck.

  “Be right back,” he said as he closed the door. As soon as he did Lillith grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me around.

  “Hey!” I yelled trying to pull her hands off me.

  “Listen honey. This is a big deal. Once we achieve this goal of beating Dedrick, I have to shave your memories. If I don’t I can’t go back home.” I stopped squirming and listened.

  “What does that mean? Are we going to forget each other?” Landon asked. He pulled a strand of hair out of his eyes. I realized then that I really didn’t know too much about him in this life. I had only been around him a few times and he doesn’t talk much. He was still a stranger to me but I felt so deeply for him.

  “Well, there are things “they” don’t want you to remember. Like um, your past lives. And we have to do this for your safety,” she answered.

  “Why not before? Why not do this all the times before, huh? Why make me go through this so many times?” Landon was mad now and his face was red.

  “Landon that is something we don’t usually do. I mean we really have to have special permission. Gunther is allowing it now. I have tried to do this before. Trust me, I have fought for it and so has Ianni.” She looked at me when she spoke Ianni’s name. I wondered who Gunther was. I was sure he was on the council that Dedrick spoke of. He wanted us to forget each other. He wanted us to forget all this even happened. That posed a question. How much would we forget? Before I asked Landon asked for me.

  “Well, how much are we going to forget? How much will we remember?” Lillith stared at him, her dark hair shining blue in the moonlight. She looked so punk rock. I stifled a laugh.

  “I can’t really say. Sometimes, because we are only shaving bits and pieces, you just forget what has occurred in those parts of your life. Like for instance Avery,” she looked me in the eye. “You will forget about Ianni, Landon being who he was in the past, and you will forget seeing your mom.”

  I choked at the thought of forgetting to see my mom. I had to remember that. If that was taken away I would be a mess all over again and I would lose her forever, never knowing if she made it Home.

  “No, I don’t want to forget my mom. How will I know for sure if she makes it? What if you take too much and I forget Dallas?” Landon cursed loudly and got out of the truck. “What? What did I say?”

  Lillith laughed at me. I hated her right now. If she wasn’t an Angel I would love to hit her in her pretty little face.

  “He loves you dummy. Can’t you see that? He is hoping for you to forget Dallas. He is hoping that he will revive his memories of you again, like he always does, and that you will choose him this time.”

  At that moment Dallas came back into the truck. I knew this conversation was over. I had to think about all that Lillith said for the rest of the ride. I chewed on some licorice that Dallas got me and we waited for Landon to stop sulking and get back into the truck. The ride was a very quiet and I blamed Lillith and her big mouth for it. I could not help but worry for Landon. All his life, or lives, our romance consumed him and now that he has a chance at change he is not sure he wants it. I wasn’t sure if I wanted it either now that I knew all about Home, my mom, and Landon. Did I really want to give that all up? At first, all of this strangeness was so confusing and scary, but now it was my life and I was used to it. Dallas was now in the know. So that made things so much easier for me.

  “Okay, should be about another thirty minutes Avery. Are you ready?” Dallas asked as I stared out the window.

  “Really, we are that close?” Suddenly I knew I had to face the father that abandoned me in only thirty minutes. Not only that, I had to tell him the very things he ran from. I had to convince him to help us fight a Dark Guide and try to save someone he didn’t know.

  Those thirty minutes went by faster than I expected. Soon we pulled in front of a beautiful white home. It even had a picket fence surrounding it. Roses all around the home were still blooming even though winter was approaching. A shiny blue SUV sat in the driveway. I thought of all the children that probably piled in that car. I thought of how many times my dad took them to dance class, or soccer practice. I felt jealous of those kids. I didn’t even know them and I hated them. They got my father. They got the father I was supposed to have. The one that was stolen from me. Rachel had to come in and steal my father.

  I gulped and tears were coming fast. I knew I could not stop them. So I just let them fall and buried my face in my hands and cried to myself. I felt hands on my back. Landon, Dallas even Lillith were all trying to console me. Except now that Landon was touching me I saw a vision come on. I didn’t want this to happen but I couldn’t help it.

  Garrison and I were sitting together in a dining area. In came Cooper. I was betrothed to Garrison, but I yearned for Cooper. Garrison and I were discussing his going away to New York for a week. He was telling me that Cooper would be working on the house and doing the yard work so I would not have to worry about being alone in the house. The house was very large. I was afraid to be alone in this big house. When I looked at Cooper that fear dissipated and I was happy Garrison was leaving.

  Then like a flash of lightning the vision was gone and Landon’s hands were off my back. I gulped and sucked air in. I felt like I had just been suffocated and then had just come back to life but no one seemed to notice.

  “Avery, you don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.” Dallas was always trying to make me feel better but I knew I had to do this. It was now or never. I pushed the vision as far away as I possible could.

  “No, I have to do this now or I will never have the guts to do it again.” I glanced at the clock and it read 3:00 a.m. The lump in my scared throat seemed to pulse at the thought of seeing him. My father. He would probably slam the door in my face. Or would he try to hug me. I couldn’t stand the thought of his hands on me. I wanted my mom’s arms to embrace me.

  I knew at this moment that it was now or never. We drove all this way and as much as I didn’t want it to be true, I needed him. The other half of an Affinity. So I opened the door and jumped out of the truck. I looked at Dallas, whose eyes seemed to be misty with tears. I loved that he felt how I did. He was so patient with me, especially now. Driving us all the way out here and feeling my pain.

  “Ok, so here it goes,” I said as I closed the door. I walked the small path up to the door. The outside light of the house lead the way to the beautiful navy blue door. The golden door knocker was wet with dew as I touched it. I slammed it against the door hoping he would hurry up. My nerves were shot and I didn’t know how long I could stand out here.

  Suddenly I heard the creaks of footsteps on the floor, like someone coming down stairs. He was coming. My throat was burning now, burning with fright.

  The door opened and there stood a man I didn’t recognize. The strong man that once was my father was now a frail man with white hair. His blue eyes were bloodshot. Dark circles loomed under them. He wore blue pinstriped pajamas. They were very wrinkly and dirty, stained with food and God knows what else.

  “Avery, is that you?” This was the first thing he said to me. In years of not hearing his voice, I knew it still. I wanted to cry seeing him like this. My father was old. He had aged in what seemed like, to me, overnight but was really twenty-one years.

  “Yes, Richard I am so sorry to be bothering you so early in the morning. We drove all night to get here, and I just need you to listen to me for just a few minutes. My friends are waiting in the truck.” He looked to Dallas’ truck and then back at me.

  I stopped. He put his hand up to stop me from talking.

  “No need, I know why you are here.” He replied.

  “No Richard you don’t. Whatever you are thinking it’s the complete opposite of that,” I
answered. “Do you mind if I come in for a minute? I don’t want to wake anyone so I will be very quiet.”

  He laughed an empty laugh. “There is no one here for you to wake. It’s only me now. Rachel and Cora left.”

  “What do you mean left?” I asked, not expecting what he was going to say next.

  “They left me. Almost a year ago now. Rachel took Cora to live in Italy with her family. Cora is in college there and Rachel works at some Bistro. She is dating a man that is no older than you.” Pain came across his face. “Please tell your friends to come in and I will tell you more.” He turned and walked further into the house. I waved for them to come in. I knew at this point this was not going to be a quick visit.

  It was midmorning when my eyes opened. I sat up, looked around, and stared at my surroundings. I was in a bed with Dallas next to me but it was not my bed. It was a guest bedroom. Somehow Richard had talked us into sleeping first before we talked. He said he just couldn’t talk at 3:00 in the morning. So we took the guest bedroom upstairs. Landon slept on the couches down stairs. Lillith had managed to conceal her wings for the brief moment of being introduced to Richard. Then Richard stumbled back into his room and closed the door. We all took our places to sleep and dispersed. Lillith just said she would sit and wait until we all woke up.

  I woke Dallas, which he didn’t like too much, but he got up and stretched. He smiled at me, that sweet innocent smile, so I pulled him back into the bed with me. I held him and stared into his beautiful eyes. How could things not go right? I knew I had to do whatever I could to help save Landon and to ensure my future with Dallas.

  “I think we are the only ones awake right now,” he whispered. Chills went through my body. His breath was warm against my skin and his hands started to caress my hips.

  “Yeah, I think your right. So?” I teased.

  “So kiss me.” He took my face in his gentle hands and kissed me. It was so tender and sweet that I melted right into the guest bed. I didn’t care whose bed it was, that was the effect Dallas had on me.

  Then I remembered I slept and had no dreams, or at least no dreams that I could remember anyway. So maybe being around Richard was a strong repellent for Dedrick. I didn’t know and I didn’t care.

  Dallas continued to kiss me and things started getting heated. My shirt had been removed, and I didn’t even notice. He was kissing my neck and playing with my hair. I knew that this would be the first time we would make love. Although it wasn’t how I had planned it, I could not resist him. Once his pants came off I got a pretty good view of all of his tattoos. They were so beautiful, so colorful. His arms were completely covered with sayings and artwork. I ran my hands all over them trying to feel the beauty of them. He lifted me and adjusted my body so he was directly on top of me. I ran my hands over his strong back and he smiled. He was in very good shape. I suddenly thought about my body. I was thin, but not in shape. As he kissed my stomach I didn’t think he minded.

  He was so beautiful and so good to me. I wanted him to be with me forever and knew it at this moment. I knew I wanted to show him this. In my mind this was one way to show him how bad I wanted him, it may not have been the right way but it felt right. Everything about Dallas felt right. His muscles in his arms tensed as he slid off my pants. I shivered. It had been a very long time since I had been intimate. I was scared in a way. Scared that it would hurt and scared of getting hurt but I went with it. I wanted him so bad that I just pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind. We quietly continued to make love.

  Chapter 16

  Finding the Watcher

  We had somehow fallen into a sleep-like state and it was now about noon. I heard voices downstairs. They were all awake and I had to go talk to Richard. I rolled off the bed, aching in places that had never ached before. Dallas grabbed my pants and handed them to me. We dressed in silence, although I’m not sure why we didn’t speak. I thought maybe he had been disappointed in me. Maybe I was bad in bed? I cringed at the thought. Dallas was great, that I knew. Tender, loving and sweet. I searched his eyes for any hint as to why he was being so quiet when he spoke.

  “We better get down there. Come on.” As Dallas and I walked down the steps I saw all the pictures of my half-sister Cora. From birth to graduation they filled the walls. She had olive skin like her mother and she had Richard’s eyes. She was beautiful. She had the looks I wished I had gotten from Richard. Instead I got my mother’s pale skin and thin frame.

  “She looks like you, don’t you think?” Dallas asked. I laughed as I stopped at her last picture on the wall. A picture of her on a sailboat. I didn’t see any resemblance between the two of us. It was like looking at a swan and I was the ugly duck.

  “Are you mad at her, you know for getting the father that you didn’t? Or are you sad that you didn’t get to know her?” Full of questions now wasn’t he. I didn’t want to think too much about that but I was forced to now. I didn’t want to ignore Dallas.

  “No, I am glad it was her that got this life, the privileged life. Because if it were me, then I wouldn’t have met you.” And then I kissed him. It was very honest. I could not imagine life without Dallas. Especially now.

  We walked into the kitchen and they all sat at the breakfast nook. Landon looking very sleepy. Richard with a blank stare and Lillith with her now pale orange wings stretched out for all to see. I had to do a double take. Richard had to be seeing this, but he wasn’t running away.

  He looked at me and smiled. A weird, shocked sort of smile. I smiled back but it was a very strange one on my behalf. He stood up to give me his chair and I sat.

  “Well we can pretty much say that your dad knows about everything.” Landon spoke, his face cold and hard. I knew he had to have known about Dallas and I. What we did. But how? We were so quiet. I could not meet his gaze. I felt his eyes burning into me. I suddenly felt so bad. Like a tramp. Like I cheated on him.

  “Yeah they filled me in. I can’t say that I didn’t know this was real. I mean your mom spoke about it for years. I just chose to ignore it until today.” Richard was being strong. I knew he was going through a lot. So my focus had to shift to him now. His life was in shambles and even though he left me it felt it unfair to leave him now.

  “Richard, um, dad.” I cleared my throat. “There is a big sacrifice in what we are doing. This is very dangerous ground and I understand if you don’t want to help. But please, we need you.”

  “Last night I told you I knew why you were here because I had a dream about your mom. She told me you would be coming. She also told me why I had to help you and your friends. So I am willing to do whatever is necessary to help you. Avery, I have always loved you. I am a horrible man for what I did to you and your mom. So I will try to make up for that.” Tears threatened my eyes but I fought them off. I would not cry right now. I had to be strong and focus on our goal.

  “Ok, enough with the drama. This isn’t some talk show where you all reveal how sorry you are blah, blah, blah. This is real.” Lillith’s annoying voice cut through me like a knife. Landon gave her a harsh look. It was rude of her to say, but in way she was kind of right. We should talk about the personal stuff later. Things were getting a bit thick at the moment.

  First my father was telling me he was sorry for all he did to me and I didn’t know how to respond. Second, Dallas and I had just shared something very special and he was acting a bit distant. I knew in my heart he loved me. Maybe it was the setting? This wasn’t the most romantic place to make love for the first time. Third, Landon’s eyes pierced my soul. I don’t know how but he knew what had happened and he was sad. Just then I glanced his way. He turned away from me like I was an enemy. Then there was a knock at the door.

  “Who could be here?” I asked Richard.

  “I don’t know. I don’t have anyone.” He sounded so sad and alone. He had no one. He had no friends. How desperately sad. He walked to the door and opened. There stood Justin. He had said he would be here at noon. He had to know where we were he w
as the Psychic. He was also proving to be a bit more than just psychic. He was a psychic-telepath extraordinaire.

  “Mr. Snow, I am Justin White, a friend of Avery and Dallas. It’s nice to meet you. Can I please come in?” He was always so polite. Impeccable manners. Of course Richard let him in and led him into the kitchen. He smiled at us all. Where was Kerri? Of course since I thought the question and he was a telepath, Justin answered.

  “She is working. You know that girl is very dedicated. But I’m here to help in any way I can.” He scanned the room and frowned at Lillith. No one seemed to like her.

  “Well, what now?” Richard asked.

  “I am not too sure. I mean, I know what mom asked of me, but I still need to find the Watcher and an Angel willing to break the rules.” Lillith stood up, hands on hips and all. I figured she would do it, but I never really asked her if she would. I was not in any place to judge her even though she had a bad attitude. She was an Angel and she was helping Landon.

  “I am, of course, willing but there will be major ramifications if I do. Let me just tell you that for now. I can’t really explain what but it will be worse than the changing of my wings.”

  She turned red, almost as if she was embarrassed. Was it possible to make her feel that way? I didn’t really know but it made me feel better that I only needed to track down the Watcher. I also wondered where Ianni was. I needed her once again and she wasn’t here. Justin was quick to my side his hand on mine. I had just noticed that they were shaking. He smiled at me and it was somehow very calming.

  “So, how are we going to do this? You know, find my Watcher?” I asked.

  “Well, from what Lillith said before you came downstairs, you know who your Watcher is you just need to think about it,” Richard answered. That was not helping at all. I need to think about it? Um, sorry people but not helping.

  “No Daddio, that is not what I said.” Lillith’s tone with Richard was starting to bother me. “I said she needs to meditate on it. Meditation can do so much for a human. It can almost bring you to Heaven and back if you focus. Being as tired as you are Avery, I don’t think you will have a hard time with it. A lot of times humans need to be sleepy to really focus. I think you should go outside and just try it. Clear your mind of all your worries and just think only of your Watcher. Hopefully it will come to you. While you do this we will try to think of something as well.”