Fine By Me: Chaos Novella (A Songbird Novel)

by Melissa Pearl

But I could do it.

  I could do it for Jace.

  12

  Jace

  Jenna was nervous. I could tell by the way she kept fisting the skirt part of her sundress. Bright yellow sunflowers decorated the white material and it looked amazing against her brown skin and black hair. She was a beautiful woman, and I couldn’t help a touch of pride as I pulled up outside my family home.

  I’d arrived half an hour early, hoping to ease Jenna in before Chaos arrived.

  Flick with his constant suspicions and conspiracy theories already thought Jenna must be hiding something if she was taking so damn long to meet everybody, but I warned him to keep his damn mouth shut.

  He may have been right, but that wasn’t his business.

  Jenna was like a clam that I was slowly prying open. If I came in too hard or fast on anything, she’d close up and no doubt push me out of her life. I wasn’t risking it.

  Inch by inch, she’d bloom like a spring flower, and one day I hoped I could announce to the whole damn world that I was in love with Jenna Smith.

  Opening the door for her, I took her hand and gently pulled her out of my car. “It’s gonna be okay.” I tucked my arm around her waist and led her inside.

  I’d prepped her as best I could. She knew everything about my family, and I knew as much as she’d let me about hers.

  For instance, I knew she had a very happy childhood with awesome parents who loved her. She had a twin sister she never really spoke about, and when she occasionally did, she’d only ever say “my sister” or “my twin.” It was like she didn’t want to use her sister’s name or something. I figured the blood between them must be pretty bad.

  After her parents died, there’s a big black hole in Jenna’s history. Her twin must have fit into it somewhere, and one day I hoped to find out how.

  I could only imagine what it must have been like to lose her only family and be left all alone like that. Those were her exact words, “Left all alone.” Which meant her sister must have either fled or already been out of the picture.

  I had no idea what Jenna had been through before moving to LA, but I had a feeling it was rough and she obviously needed to block it out.

  So I went with it. I wasn’t going to pressure her into telling me something she was trying to leave behind. The one time I did ask her sister’s name, she clammed up and our conversation only lasted another five minutes.

  Yeah, it could be frustrating sometimes, but I believed in her. I believed that eventually I’d know everything. I just had to be patient.

  The most important thing was our future, and I was going to do everything in my power to make sure it was a happy, awesome one.

  As predicted, the second I opened the door, Dad rolled into view and greeted us both with one of his standard dad jokes. I cringed while Jenna gave him a polite laugh.

  “Hey, you laughed at one of my jokes. I like you already.” Dad grinned at her.

  Jenna’s smile grew as she shook his hand and was then wrapped in a hug by my mother. I’d begged them both to tone it down and keep things light, but they just couldn’t help themselves. They knew I was giddy about this girl, even though I’d tried to deny that we were anything more than friends.

  I grimaced at Dad when Mom took Jenna’s hand and dragged her into the kitchen.

  “It’ll be okay, son.” Dad winked at me and rolled after the women, while I ran a hand through my hair and hoped like hell he was right.

  The last thing I wanted to do was scare Jenna off.

  But the evening actually had the opposite effect.

  By the time Chaos arrived, Jenna and my mom were talking like best friends. I stood back, in awe of my mother’s ability to draw people out of their shell.

  When the others arrived with loud hellos and hugs, Jenna kind of shrunk into a corner, but then Ronnie stepped up with a smile and a hug of her own, and once again Jenna was pulled in by the warmth of my family.

  “So there she is. Turns out your little fantasy is actually real.” Flick sat down beside me, ever skeptical, as I watched Jenna smile at something Ronnie said.

  I gave him a sidelong look and he snickered before taking a pull from his beer.

  “She’s just shy, man. It takes her time to warm up.”

  “Five weeks? It takes her five weeks to find the courage to meet us? That’s bullshit, man.”

  “We’re rock stars.” I turned on him with a sharp frown. “I know you might find this baffling, but to some people that’s kind of intimidating. Give her a break, okay?”

  He sniffed and gave in with a little nod, but still had to leave me with one final quip. “I know what it’s like not to trust easily. I get it, but I’ve got a gut feeling about her. She’s hiding something.”

  I scoffed. “How the hell would you know? You’ve only just met her.”

  “I’ve been listening to you talk about her for like forever, and you barely know shit. You don’t even know her twin sister’s name.”

  Gripping the edge of his shirt before he could rise from the couch, I seethed out a soft warning. “I wish I’d never told you. Keep your mouth shut tonight. Don’t be an asshole and ruin this for me. I really care about her.”

  “And you think I’m going to fuck it up?”

  “I know you have it in you, so please, show a little self-control.”

  Clenching his jaw, he gazed across the room at her, his dark eyes analyzing her every move. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

  I snickered and nudged him with my elbow.

  “It’s true, man.” His look was so earnest I had to listen to him. “All the rest of us have girls we already trusted before they came into the group. Nessa and Ronnie are sisters. They have history. Fliss is Marcus’s little sister. But this new girl, we don’t know anything. And there’s no one around to vouch for her.”

  My nostrils flared and I took a swig of my beer to calm myself before responding. “Trust me, man. Watch her tonight, give her a chance, and you’ll see that I’m not a total idiot. I’m falling for a girl who’s worthy of this family.”

  Flick scrubbed a hand over his face and eventually gave in with a reluctant nod. “Just don’t rush anything,” he muttered before rising from the couch and walking over to his girl.

  Hypocrite. He and Fliss had jumped into bed together before they even got together.

  Fliss gave him a stunning smile before popping a chip in his mouth and kissing him.

  I slumped back on the couch and gazed across the room at Jenna. Hopefully she’d been so caught up talking to Ronnie that she hadn’t noticed my altercation with Flick the Pessimist.

  Pulling in a breath, I drank some more and hoped he would behave himself. He didn’t get it. I mean, his concern for my welfare and the protection of this band was noble and everything, but his lack of trust in my choice was insulting.

  I wanted Jenna to prove him wrong.

  Her brown eyes caught my attention and I gazed into them, offering her a lopsided grin. Her dimples popped into place, making my heart swell.

  Screw Flick. She was the only one for me, and watching her with my family was all the proof I needed.

  By the time we sat down to eat, my heart had swollen so big I didn’t know if my chest could contain it. Jenna was next to me, giggling at Flick and Fliss as they bickered and then laughed over something trivial. I didn’t even catch all of it, too busy gazing at my woman, loving her dimples and the sweet sound of her unchecked laughter.

  It was like she’d forgotten who she was for a moment or had been sucked into this vortex that took her back to the secure way she felt around her much-loved parents.

  I’d have to bring her here again. It seemed a surefire way to pop that clamshell wide open. Maybe then she’d let me in all the way and Flick could stop his unwarranted worrying.

  13

  Jenna

  Flick and Fliss were pretty funny. They bickered like a couple of old people but were obviously very much in love. Every time one of them sa
id something borderline mean, the other countered it with a funny quip or something sweet that smoothed things over in a heartbeat. I was kind of in awe watching them and couldn’t stop giggling.

  Down the other end of the table, Ralphie and Ronnie were the exact opposite. He had to be the most attentive boyfriend I’d ever seen, and the stars in Ronnie’s eyes wouldn’t stop sparkling. She grinned as he offered her the last mouthful on his plate. He fed it to her and then they kissed.

  My nose wrinkled with a smile as I watched them.

  They are adorable.

  It was hard not to be struck once again by that aching loneliness that took me out at the strangest times. I was surrounded by people who obviously loved each other—a real family— and it made me miss my own.

  I was caught up in a beautiful precious moment, so why did I feel like crying?

  Jace’s hand gently touched my leg, his strong fingers lightly caressing the skin above my knee. It kind of tickled but felt so good at the same time; I wasn’t about to push him away.

  I glanced across and caught his smile on me. I returned it and scored myself a wink.

  He was so gorgeous, and the look in his dark eyes told me I’d made his night by being there.

  What I probably wouldn’t be able to voice was that he’d made my night too. I hadn’t done anything that normal since my parents had died, and I didn’t realize how much I missed it. It was all so familiar yet new, like life was trying to offer me a gift. Something to unwrap and marvel over.

  I really didn’t deserve it, but I wasn’t sure I could resist either.

  Jace turned to answer his mother’s question. I didn’t hear what it was, but the soft way he answered her and the sweet way she smiled in response made my heart swell.

  He was good to his mother.

  He was good to me.

  It told me he respected women, and I’d be insane to try and deny for a second longer that I was in love with him.

  It was always going to be a losing battle, but for the first time since meeting him I wasn’t so afraid of losing. In fact, I hoped the night would never end.

  I placed the wineglass in the rack as Mrs. Tolson bustled around behind me, putting dishes away while Jace dried them. The dishwasher hummed beside me, unable to keep up with the mountain produced by the night’s dinner production.

  Mrs. Tolson must be Claremont’s Martha Stewart…and her husband was Claremont’s comedian.

  He was in the lounge, entertaining the rest of Chaos with some loud story that had them all laughing.

  I quietly chuckled, finding the noise jovial and highly contagious.

  “Thank you so much for your help, you sweet thing.” Mrs. Tolson rubbed my arm the way my mom used to and suddenly it hurt to swallow.

  Jace looked over her head and caught my eye, shooting me another wink that told me I was doing great.

  My lips twitched with a grin and I dried my hands after emptying the sink water. “Thank you for an amazing meal.”

  “That is my absolute pleasure.” Jace’s mother took the towel off me and then ushered us out of the kitchen.

  As we walked into the living room, people were rising from their seats and getting ready to split. Disappointment seared through me. I didn’t care that it was close to eleven. I wasn’t ready to go back to my quiet, lonely apartment.

  “You want to come back to the house?” Flick looked right at me as he pulled on his jacket.

  “M-me?” I pointed to myself, kind of confused.

  He smirked and shared a quick look with Jace. “Everyone else already lives there, so yeah, I’m talking to you.”

  “The night is still young.” Nessa pumped her stump in the air. “Let’s go back and rock out for a while.”

  “Really?” It was impossible to hide my giddy smile. I probably sounded like a girly groupie, but hello! Chaos was inviting me back to their place to rock out. And after the evening I’d just had, I wasn’t scared. It didn’t even occur to me that I’d been resisting it for so long. Suddenly I was on board. My heart was leading the charge, and I couldn’t do anything but follow it.

  “Come on.” Jace laughed, placing his hand on my lower back and guiding me to the door.

  Relaxing into his car, I let myself go, giving him an excited grin as he drove me around to the mansion.

  As we pulled through the gates and drove around the palatial white house, I internally berated myself for ever saying no to his invitations. The place was amazing. It was private, secure, huge. There was plenty of room to ramble around inside unnoticed.

  After a quick tour from Jace, I trailed down the path to a guest house. Music was already pumping out the door, and a smile was firmly in place as I slipped through and was pointed to sit down next to Fliss, Ronnie and an adorable-looking dog.

  With a bark, the Labrador retriever scampered off the couch and came bounding over to me, his tail wagging a mile a minute.

  “Maestro, down!” Fliss called as he rose on his hind legs and rested his paw against my stomach.

  He whimpered and shot down after her command, walking a quick circle in front of me as he decided what to do next.

  With a smile, I held out my hand so he could sniff it. He gave me a doggy smile, his tongue hanging out as I petted his brown fur.

  Happy with our introduction, he raced back to the couch and jumped onto Fliss’s knee. She giggled and wrapped her arms around him, kissing the top of his head.

  “Take a seat,” Jace whispered in my ear before heading for the drum kit.

  Nestling onto his stool, Jace flicked the hair out of his eyes and wiggled his eyebrows at me before saying, “Smooth Criminal,” and clicking his sticks.

  I tipped back my head with laughter as Chaos burst into a rocked-up version of one of my favorite songs. My mom was a Michael Jackson freak, and it rubbed off on me.

  Jace got into it, his hair flying as he smashed the drums. His strong arms pumped out a steady beat, and my insides stirred with desire as I watched him. Damn, he was one sexy thing.

  “Annie, are you okay?” I sang along and soon found Ronnie and Fliss joining me. Maestro barked and jumped off Fliss’s knee, scampering in a circle like he wanted to dance.

  Fliss laughed and stood to join him, flicking her blonde locks around as she danced to the music.

  Before I knew it, she was yanking me out of my seat and I lost myself a little bit more.

  14

  Jace

  I pounded the drums and watched Jenna go for it. She moved well, looking damn sexy as she and Fliss bopped around each other, singing at the top of their lungs between smiles and laughter. Watching her body move and gyrate that way, like there was water flowing through her limbs, stirred a hunger inside of me.

  I’d never wanted her more and couldn’t help wondering how long I’d have to wait.

  It all had to come from her.

  I wasn’t about to put on the moves and risk pushing her away.

  Ronnie jumped up, distracting me as she let out a whoop and started dancing around with a giggle. I laughed and looked at Ralphie, who shared a quick grin with me.

  We had one of the best jam sessions we’d ever had. As soon as a song finished, one of the girls would yell out another number, and we rocked out until three o’clock in the morning.

  By the time we were done, I was kind of exhausted, but also high on the thrill of drumming and watching Jenna enjoy herself. It was like she’d forgotten who she was for a moment…forgotten to worry or be sad or nervous. She was having fun, and it was a beautiful thing.

  Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I held the door open for her and guided her back up the path. It was late, and the last thing I felt like doing was driving her home to that crummy apartment.

  “Hey, you want to stay?”

  She jolted beside me, her big brown eyes rounding with surprise.

  There was only a half moon, so I couldn’t see the details of her face, but I reached forward, skimming the pads of my fingers over her soft skin. />
  “You can have my room. I’ll take the couch downstairs.” Man, that was hard to say. What I wanted more than anything was to lie down beside her. Let my body show her just how big the feels were.

  I was falling in love, but I knew she wasn’t ready to hear me say it.

  After a pause that felt like an eternity she finally murmured, “I have work tomorrow.”

  “I’ll get up and drop you.”

  “What about my car?”

  “We’ll take Big Gav with us. If you’re happy for me to drive your car, I can drop you at work, then head back to your place and grab it for you.”

  “Um…” She obviously didn’t like that idea.

  “Okay, why don’t we get up early enough that I can drive you home, or better yet, I could come and pick you up from work at the end of the day.”

  She let out the breath she’d been holding. “Okay.”

  “Okay?” My voice pitched with surprise.

  “Yeah.” She softly giggled.

  My heart grew a pair of wings and fluttered out of my chest. Taking her hand, I kissed her knuckles, then threaded my fingers between hers and pulled her up the path. I’d already given her a tour but she still looked around the cavernous living space, kind of awestruck.

  It was a bit over the top if you asked me, but it was home.

  I’d resisted moving in for so long, not wanting to leave my parents without support. But Dad finally told me I was being an idiot and he could look after himself.

  “I’m the parent. Now get out of my house.” He’d laughed out his blessing and I’d reluctantly left.

  It’d been the making of me, though. Moving in with Chaos was the right decision. We were a tight unit, and although we needed our breaks sometimes, we seemed to instinctively know when to leave each other alone.

  It helped that we all had huge rooms which were big enough to be a place to sleep, and a place to chill out.

  I shouldered open my door and dumped my keys and phone on the side table.