Buttons and Grace

by Penelope Sky

  Pearl watched me closely, her eyes hiding her opinion. “Nothing ever goes the way we plan, Adelina.”

  “I know.”

  “I didn’t expect to fall in love with Crow. For a long time, I viewed him as a barbaric criminal. The only reason I considered myself lucky to be with him was because he wasn’t cruel like the other men I’d met. But as time passed, I realized he was the best person for me. The terms we met under weren’t great. Our relationship didn’t start off with a coffee date. But if I’d returned to America permanently and found someone else, they never would have been able to give me what I needed. I fell in love with Crow because I was meant to fall in love with him. Our relationship isn’t perfect—but it works for us.”

  I could feel her love for him when she spoke. There was no doubt in her mind that she’d made the right decision. She left behind her entire life in America to live in Tuscany with a man who once owned her.

  “I think your feelings for Cane are stronger than you realize. Maybe you just need a little more time to figure it out.”

  “Maybe…but he’s angry with me.”

  “He’s only angry because he loves you,” she whispered. “And he just wants you to love him in return.”

  “I don’t know if I can do that…”

  “You don’t have to force yourself to. You just have to not force yourself not to.”

  “He’s a criminal, Pearl. I don’t think my parents would be thrilled with my choice of a partner. They’d make me see a psychiatrist.”

  “No one in the world will ever understand what you went through besides you,” she said quietly. “So don’t listen to what other people think. Let them think you’re crazy. Doesn’t matter.”

  “I’m just not sure if he’s what I want,” I whispered. “Like I said, I want a different kind of relationship.”

  She looked at the ground for a moment before she looked up again. “Nobody is perfect. We all have skeletons in our closets. Cane is just more transparent about his than the rest of us.”

  “He told me how he hurt you…”

  “And he would never do something like that again—to anyone. He’s a much different man now than the one I first met. You’ve seen his transition yourself. He’s not even the same man as when you first laid eyes on him. When I returned to America and tried to get my life back together, I started seeing an old boyfriend. He was good, handsome, clean…everything I would have wanted in a boyfriend once upon a time. But it didn’t work. It didn’t fit. Every time I slept with him, all I could think about was Crow. He left a mark on me that I could never erase. I saw him as a dark and twisted man, but I realized I had become just as dark and twisted. Nothing could change that. That was how I was—forever. And that’s when I knew where I belonged.”

  * * *

  Cane undressed himself and left his pile of clothes on the floor. His ass was tight in his boxers, and his hard physique was chiseled as if he had been carved out of stone. He didn’t look at me now, just as he ignored me on the car ride home. “Why do you keep sleeping in here?” He turned to the bed and set his phone on the nightstand. “You can sleep down the hall.”

  I was in his t-shirt and my panties. “I don’t want to sleep down the hall.”

  His green eyes looked foreboding when they looked at me like that. Intense and angry, they were passionate with frustration. He tugged the blankets back and got into bed beside me. A fire burned quietly in the fireplace and brought a gentle glow to the room once Cane turned off the lamp.

  He turned on his side and faced away from me.

  I missed the way he used to wrap his body around mine. I missed the suffocation he used to bring to me. I missed his affection, his adoration. I inched to the center of the bed and wrapped my arms around his waist. I pressed a wet kiss to his shoulder, my tongue tasting him. I tugged myself into him harder so my body was pressed flat against his.

  His breathing increased, but he didn’t show any other reaction.

  I kissed his shoulder again then pressed my lips to his neck. I wanted to feel connected to him again. I missed having him close to me, missed sharing my body as well as my soul. But I also missed being with him. It’d only been a few weeks since Tristan last touched me, but my body craved Cane’s. I wanted him deep inside me, slow and gentle. I wanted him to ease me into it, but then to bring me to a climax a few minutes later.

  I moved my lips to his ear. “Make love to me.”

  Cane’s body stiffened slightly, and he stopped breathing for just an instant. My hand rested just underneath his heart, and I could feel the way it jumped, racing at a faster pace. He didn’t make a move, but he was certainly thinking about it.

  “I’m ready.”

  He suddenly turned over and suspended his body over mine. He looked into my eyes, his powerful body flexing as he displayed his strength.

  My hands moved up his chest, and I parted my lips, waiting for a kiss.

  He tugged my panties down then separated my thighs with his. He positioned himself at my entrance but didn’t push inside. Instead, he looked into my face and watched the expression in my eyes. “You’re sure you want this?”

  My hands dug into his hair, and I kissed him. It was slow and soft, and I felt his gentle mouth in contrast to the coarse stubble on his face. We breathed into each other before tongues were introduced. I shifted my hips slightly, grinding against his length. “Yes.”

  That was enough for him. He gripped one of my hips and tilted my body slightly so he could slip inside.

  I was wet for him. I could feel him slide through my prominent slickness. If he wasn’t sure how much I wanted this, he was certain now. My thoughts were only on the man above me, not on anyone who had been there before him.

  He felt so good.

  I’d missed this.

  He moaned into my mouth as he inserted his entire length. His lips stopped moving against mine as he held himself still, just enjoying me.

  My hands slid down his powerful back, and I clawed his skin viciously.

  He kissed the corner of my mouth then moved his kisses until he reached my ear. “I’ll be gentle.”

  I rocked with him, taking in his length and moaning under my breath. “Just like that…”

  He pinned his arms behind my knees and moved slowly, giving me all of his length before he pulled out again. He didn’t pound me into the mattress the way he used to. He was gentler than he’d ever been before.

  But it still felt incredible.

  Cane suspended himself on one arm while his other hand dug into my hair. He held me possessively the way he used to and looked into my eyes as he thrust into me.

  I never took my eyes away, watching his powerful physique shift and ripple with every movement. My hands moved to his chest, and I felt his heavy heartbeat, felt the passion inside his veins.

  As if nothing had come between us to begin with, it felt like nothing was different. It was good. It was deep. It made my legs shake. It made my throat raspy from the insistent moans I made. He was thick and long, stretching me to my fullest. I might tear from a previous injury, but he felt so good I probably wouldn’t notice.

  “Cane…” My lips trembled, and I closed my eyes as the pleasure washed over me. I hadn’t felt it in so long I almost didn’t recognize it. It was more powerful than ever before, my body catching up on the goodness, when it only experienced the bad lately.

  He didn’t quicken his pace like he usually would, but the arousal was as obvious on his face as a billboard. His jaw was tight and rugged, and his eyes were narrowed and impassioned.

  I kept going, my body writhing on the sheets where we used to make love all the time. My head rolled back, and I exposed my neck to his kisses, feeling his tongue delve into the hollow of my throat.

  He kissed me until my climax had completely passed. Then he buried his face into my neck as he made his final thrusts. A moan erupted in his throat as he released inside me, giving me his mounds of desire. His teeth pressed against my neck as he devoure
d me with overwhelming urgency. His hand fisted my hair further, and he nearly yanked on it. He was possessive, territorial, and obsessed once again.

  I’d missed that side of him.

  It felt like us again, the two of us together.

  He felt perfect buried between my legs. He felt like he belonged there, like he was the only one ever to have enjoyed me.

  He turned his face into mine and kissed me softly on the lips, his affection gentle in comparison to the tight way he gripped me. He kissed the corner of my mouth then right on my lips again, covering me with his caresses.

  He pulled out of me then cuddled into my side. His large arms encased me protectively, and he buried his face into my shoulder. There was no space between us because he was invading me completely.

  It was exactly where I wanted to be, to be surrounded by his love and security.

  Chapter 13

  Cane

  When I was buried deep inside her, it was impossible to stay angry at her.

  I forgot I was mad to begin with.

  That deep connection between us was exactly what I craved. It softened my thoughts, protected me from the gruesome things I’d seen during my adventure to rescue and guard her. It numbed the pain in my chest from seeing my brother bedridden.

  It made everything easier.

  I knew I wasn’t treating Adelina fairly. I was hurt that she didn’t feel the same way, but my anger existed because I felt deceived. I’d thought she really did feel the same way. Even now, I was surprised she didn’t.

  I felt tricked.

  I was frustrated I wasn’t getting my way.

  But I shouldn’t resent her for it. Even if she’d told me she didn’t love me before she went to Tristan, I still would have risked my life to save her.

  Because I had it bad.

  I went to the gym in Florence the following morning and then swung by my other apartment. It’d been vacant for a while, possessing a stale air since it hadn’t been used in so long. I grabbed a few things then headed back to my house in the Tuscan countryside.

  When I walked in the door, Adelina was sitting at the kitchen table eating a piece of toast. Her eyes lit up when she saw me, looking over at me in my running shorts and t-shirt. I had a line of sweat around my neck from running six miles. “Hey.”

  “Hey.” I walked over to her then leaned down and kissed her.

  She softened visibly at my touch.

  I opened the fridge and grabbed a carton of eggs. “I’m making an omelet. You want one?” I cracked the eggs into a bowl then got a pan going.

  “No, thanks.” She held her coffee between both hands, a small smile on her face. “I already ate.”

  “You ate a piece of toast,” I said sarcastically. “That’s not much.”

  “The coffee filled me up.”

  I made an egg white omelet with veggies then sat across from her with a hot cup of coffee.

  “Where did you go this morning?”

  “To the gym in Florence.” I spoke between bites. “Then I stopped by my apartment and picked up a few things.”

  “You still have that place?”

  “Yeah. I bought it a few years ago. Haven’t decided what to do with it.”

  “So you like being away from the city?”

  I liked having my privacy when I shared my space with this woman. I liked seeing her walk around in just her panties since there was no one to spy on us through the windows. I liked seeing her topless by the pool on a summer day. None of that could happen in the city. “It’s nice. I understand why my brother prefers it.”

  * * *

  “You own a lot of land. Are you going to grow grapes like your brother?”

  “Probably. May as well use the space. Besides, it’s got great landscaping.”

  “True.”

  “I think I’ve selected a butler for the house.”

  “Yeah?” She set her coffee down, visibly excited. “Who?”

  “There’s this older guy from Florence. He works in a high-end restaurant, but he says he wants something quieter. Both of his kids moved to France, and his ex-wife is remarried. So he says he’s a bit lonely but doesn’t want the crazy crowds anymore.”

  “He sounds perfect. Have you tried his cooking?”

  “No, not yet. But he’s been a chef his entire life. I’m not worried about his talents. He says it’s important where he gets his products. Apparently, he’s picky about those sorts of things, but they’re important. I know Lars is the same way. He drives all the way to another town just to pick up his tomatoes, and then he goes to this other farm because of their asparagus…”

  She smiled. “Wow. That’s commitment.”

  “But the food is so good. Have you eaten over there?”

  “No, I can’t say I have.”

  “I’ll rudely invite us over for lunch when Crow is feeling better.”

  She chuckled. “That’s the nice thing about family. You don’t need manners.”

  “Exactly.” I leaned back against the wood of the chair and looked at her as I ate. I lived for the moments when she smiled like that. Her feelings for me in those instances didn’t seem important. Maybe she didn’t love me, but she was obviously fond of me. I had to have a special place in her heart after everything we’d been through together.

  I finished my plate and placed it in the sink. “He’ll be here later today. I’m gonna hop in the shower.”

  “Can I join you? You know…to save water.”

  I grinned at her then nodded toward the stairway. “Water conservation has always been a turn-on for me.”

  * * *

  Gerald was a good fit the moment he stepped through the door. He was polite and right to the point, but he didn’t overstep his boundaries by talking too much. He’d live in the downstairs bedroom with a private bathroom and living room, but he wouldn’t make himself at home in the rest of the house.

  He stuck to doing his job.

  The place was spotless from the moment he arrived, and the first meal he made was tremendous. Succulent lamb chops and rice pilaf I hadn’t had since my last visit to Greece. He kept the place immaculately clean, and as a result, it even smelled a little different.

  It smelled better.

  Now I wished I’d hired someone a long time ago. I wasn’t a criminal anymore, so I had nothing to hide.

  Gerald served dinner in the dining room, and the large window overlooked the front of the house and vineyards that stretched far into the distance. The closest house was a few miles away. The lights from their windows could be seen, but only subtly. Unless you already knew they were there, it would be difficult to make out.

  Adelina sat across from me in a black dress with her straight hair curled at the ends. She did her makeup every day and seemed at ease in the house. She wasn’t shaken and disturbed like she had been when she first returned to me. She made herself right at home.

  “What do you think?”

  She cut into the boneless rib and took a bite. “I don’t want to insult you, but…he makes your cooking seem terrible.”

  I chuckled. “He makes your cooking look terrible too.”

  She smiled. “No offense taken. The only thing I’d make in my dorm was macaroni and Top Ramen.”

  “Top Ramen?”

  “It’s a soup thing.”

  Never heard of it.

  “Gerald has a job guarantee for life,” she said before she took another bite. “But he might make you fat.”

  If I didn’t get started in the wine business soon, that might actually happen. I was running out of things to do. I could hit the gym and fuck Adelina all day, but that still wouldn’t be enough. It’d only been a few weeks, but I missed the old business. I wondered how Constantine was handling it almost every single day.

  She noticed the way my eyes shifted away. “What are you thinking about?”

  “Work.”

  “Wine?”

  “No. The other business.” I sipped my glass of wine and tried to understand
the boldness as well as the subtle sweetness. “I wonder how it’s going. I haven’t spoken to Bran about it.”

  “So you just forgot about it and moved on?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Why do you miss it so much?” she asked. “Was it the job, or was it because it was yours?”

  I stared at my glass as I considered a response. “My dad started the business in his early twenties. He expected Crow and me to take over. Vanessa was expected to stay home and have kids. We worked with him all the time until we grew into men. Then he and my mother were killed, but we never changed anything. So, it made me feel connected to him…in a way.”

  Her hand moved over mine. “I’m sorry.”

  “It was a long time ago. I won’t pretend that my father was the best guy in the world, not the way other people always say. He wasn’t faithful to my mother. He had slaves sometimes and hurt them. He cared about money, and he used his power for evil as well as for good.”

  She kept her hand on mine, her eyes trained on my face.

  “I followed in his footsteps much more than Crow did. My dad and Crow fought a lot, which was why he opened the winery. Wanted to go his own way. I shared the same darkness my father did. I didn’t have morals or rules. I fucked whores and slaves. I never considered my actions wrong because that was how I was raised. But now…I don’t feel that way anymore.” I pulled my hand away and turned back to my meal, not wanting to make Adelina upset. My transition started with Pearl and solidified when I laid eyes on Adelina.

  Adelina continued to stare at me until she pulled her hand back to her side of the table.

  I finished my food and looked out the window, suddenly feeling awkward. There was always tension in the room due to the silent understanding we had with one another. It was difficult to ignore when we were both thinking about it—all the time.