Buttons and Grace

by Penelope Sky

  He picked up immediately. “Bellissima.” He spoke without emotion, sounding the same as he did when he dropped me off at the airport.

  “Hey.” I lost my train of thought when I heard his voice. I was brought back to the nights where he said that name in bed. “Uh, my mom wants to talk to you. I know that sounds weird, but…is that okay?”

  If he was disappointed, he didn’t indicate it. “Of course. I can listen to them yell at me.”

  “They don’t want to yell at you. They want to thank you.”

  “Oh…” Cane turned quiet, considering what I’d said. “Bellissima?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Call me later when you have some privacy.”

  “Okay…I will.” I handed the phone to my mom.

  She took it and rested her elbows on the table. “Cane, right?”

  Cane confirmed for her over the line.

  “I wanted to thank you for rescuing my daughter.” She’d hardly said a few words before her voice broke with emotion, the tears cascading. “She told me what happened. She told me that you accepted her as a loan, but then you did so much to save her…that you killed the man who took her and reclaimed her freedom. I don’t know how I could ever thank you for what you did. You could have easily forgotten about her, but you didn’t. I’m so glad you love her just as much as we do…so grateful.”

  I couldn’t watch my mother cry anymore. It was too heartbreaking. I shifted my gaze away and stared down at my food.

  * * *

  When my parents went to sleep, I called him from my bedroom. I was under the covers, wearing one of the t-shirts I stole from his drawer. It was a million sizes too big, but it still held his scent. It was faint, probably because it’d been smothered against all my other clothes during the journey underneath the plane.

  He answered immediately. “Bellissima.”

  I closed my eyes as his voice swept over me like a gentle breeze in summer. “Yes.”

  “Where are you?” he asked.

  “I’m in my old bedroom.”

  “You’re staying with your parents?”

  “Yeah…I was living here during college. I wanted to save money while I went to school since it’s right down the road. It’s a free place to live with free food.”

  He chuckled. “That’s cute.”

  “And…I kinda like living here. I’ve always been close with my parents.”

  “That’s cute too,” he said. “You know I don’t like to be more than five miles away from Crow at any given time…even though I don’t admit it.”

  I chuckled. “Yeah, I figured that out.”

  He fell quiet, staying on the phone in silence.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m sitting on the couch.”

  “Where?”

  “In our bedroom.” He sighed when he realized the error of his words. “My bedroom…”

  I felt his pain seep through the phone. I could feel his misery surround me. I used to sleep in this bed every single night, but now I couldn’t sleep well without him beside me. The mattress felt foreign. “I haven’t been sleeping well. It’s not the same without you.”

  “No, it’s not,” he whispered.

  “Are you looking at the fireplace?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What time is it there?”

  “Early.”

  “Are you going to the winery?”

  “No.” He didn’t elaborate, like he didn’t want to share any aspect of his life. “How are things there? I’ve seen you on the news a lot.”

  “You’ve been watching?”

  “Yeah. You look beautiful in that red top, by the way.”

  “Thanks…” It was one of the first things Cane had bought for me. “It’s been chaotic lately. I’m sure, in another week, everyone will move on to the next news cycle. I told Lizzie’s parents…they were heartbroken.”

  “It must have killed them, but now they know what happened. They can make their peace with it.”

  “Yeah…”

  “Your parents seem happy.”

  “They’re…” There were no words. “I can tell it’s been hard for them.”

  “I can only imagine. I only knew you for a few months, and I fell head over heels… Imagine how they feel when they’ve known you since the day you were born.”

  Every time he said those sweet things, I wanted to get on a plane and head back to him.

  “What’s next for you?” he asked. “Are you going to keep living there?”

  “No, after living with you, it hasn’t been easy going back to this. I’m gonna find an apartment soon. I just want to give my parents a little more time to have me in the house.”

  “You should be able to buy a nice house with the money I gave you. A good investment.”

  “Yeah…I’ll think about it.” I didn’t want to buy anything when I didn’t know where I would be living. I wasn’t quite sure where I wanted to settle down. “I need to complete another year of school before I can start teaching. I have to focus on that.”

  “You still want to be a teacher, huh?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I think you’ll be great at it. The kids will love you.”

  Talking to him was the easiest thing in the world. It was natural and so smooth. Talking to everyone else was jarring and painful. I didn’t have to talk about Tristan with Cane. We could talk about so many other things because he didn’t see me as some woman who was raped. He saw me as a person, along with all of my other qualities. “How are Pearl and Crow?”

  “Crow is getting a lot better. He went for a run the other day and said he felt good.”

  “That’s great.”

  “Pearl has been having some morning sickness. But she says it’s not so bad.”

  “That’s nice… Do they have names picked out?”

  “Not that I know of,” he said.

  “What do you think they’ll have?”

  “A boy.”

  “Yeah?” I asked. “Why do you think that?”

  “My father was one of five brothers. My parents had two boys. I just think we’re a boy kinda family.”

  “Are you excited?”

  “I’m very excited to be an uncle. I’m gonna piss off Crow by giving them candy, caffeine, and booze.”

  I chuckled, keeping my voice down so my parents wouldn’t hear me. “He’s gonna kill you.”

  “He’s tried before, and it’s never worked. I’m not scared.”

  “Well, I’m scared for you.”

  “Pearl will protect me. She tends to do that.”

  “You’re lucky.”

  Once we ran out of things to say, we sat on the phone in silence. I couldn’t hear anything on his end, and I wondered what the weather was like. Was it a sunny day? Was it rainy? Were his boxers on the floor where he always left them?

  “I should let you go, Bellissima,” he whispered. “It’s late, and you must be tired.”

  “I am tired…” I closed my eyes as I sat on the phone.

  Cane didn’t hang up. He sat there with me, saying nothing.

  I knew I shouldn’t say it, but I wanted to say it anyway. I felt it deep in my chest. “I miss you…”

  Cane took a deep breath. I could barely hear it over the line.

  Before he had the chance to say it back, I ended the call. I tucked the phone under my pillow and tried not to think about him. I never should have said those words to him, but I couldn’t help it. They slipped out like I had no control over my own behavior.

  My eyes closed, picturing him as if he were right beside me. I pictured that smug smile, that brightness in his dark eyes, and I imagined how his hard chest felt against my hand. I quickly slipped away, disappearing into a deep sleep.

  Chapter 21

  Crow

  We met with the contractors and got the permits so we could begin construction. We knew exactly where we would create the warehouses and the main building. It would be similar to my winery, so people would know th
ey were related. Cane and I both wanted the same architectural style as my winery, so that meant cobblestone pathways, stone walls, and large windows that let in a lot of natural light. It would be a fine piece of Italian culture, something tourists would take pictures of if they drove by.

  When the meeting was over, Cane and I entered the warehouses, and I went over the things that needed to be done. Since he needed something to do, I let him handle all the shipping and accounting. We had lots of barrels to keep track of, and we needed to give big clients the attention that they craved.

  Cane was easy to work with. When we focused on the task at hand, he didn’t seem so miserable. He was distracted enough so he didn’t think about Adelina. Seeing him move around and get stuff done brought some life back into him.

  He hadn’t been this down since Vanessa.

  And his response was exactly the same—to stay busy.

  We walked up to the storage area for barrels that were packed with red wine. “We have regular big shipments to our biggest vendors in Florence and Rome. Most of our resources are used to fill these orders. Having that second location will be helpful since our production is maxed out right now.”

  Cane nodded in agreement. “Makes sense.”

  We walked through the warehouse then returned to the main building where my office was. My assistant had been working for me for years. She was a mother of three, and she liked having a low-stress job because her life was focused on being with her family. She never had any encounter with my illegal activities, and she had no idea who I truly was.

  We walked past her and entered my office.

  Cane sat across from my desk and rested one ankle on the opposite knee. “Everything seems pretty straightforward. So, you want me to manage the property?”

  “I think it’s a good idea. That way, when the other winery is done, you’ll know exactly what to do. Besides, I could use the help around here anyway.” Now that Pearl was having our first kid, she was my priority. I wanted to be there for her when she needed me. Work would come second now that my family was growing. I couldn’t just put someone else in charge when I couldn’t monitor them, but with Cane, I didn’t need to worry about that.

  “I think I got everything down. I wonder how long it’ll be before the winery is finished.”

  “At least a year, unfortunately.”

  “I could still start the crop process. I’ll have to haul everything back and forth, but at least we’d have more grapes for pressing.”

  “True.”

  He nodded then tapped his fingers against the wood of the armrests. His eyes scanned my office, seeing the paintings on the wall and the picture I had of Pearl on our wedding day. His eyes sat there for a long time before he finally looked out the window.

  I could see the misery written across his face. “How are you?”

  “A little overwhelmed but I’ll get into the swing of things. I’m smarter than you give me credit for.”

  “I wasn’t asking about work,” I said quietly.

  Cane’s eyes shifted to me, knowing exactly what I was referring to.

  I hated putting my brother on the spot, but I couldn’t ignore his devastation. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, I could see it.

  “There’s nothing to say,” he said. “I’m fine.”

  “You don’t seem fine.”

  He shrugged. “Okay, I’m not fine. But it doesn’t change anything. No need to talk about it.”

  “Have you spoken to her?”

  “The other day, actually.”

  I couldn’t hide my surprise. I’d assumed she would never call him, and he had too much pride to call her. “What happened?”

  “She called me because her mom wanted to speak to me.”

  “And what did she say?”

  His eyes shifted to the picture of Pearl and me again. “She thanked me for rescuing Adelina and returning her home.” He spoke without emotion, like the memory of the conversation meant nothing to him. “Later, Adelina called me when she was in her bedroom. We talked for a little while, about her life and the attention she was getting. When we got off the phone…she told me she missed me then hung up.”

  Adelina didn’t seem like someone who would just say something without meaning it. She wouldn’t torture Cane for no reason. “Pearl was right. She’ll come back.”

  He released a heavy sigh that was burdened with sadness. “I hope so. Talking to her just…makes me miss her even more. I try to stay busy so I don’t think about her, but when I’m in my bedroom at night…it’s hard not to.” Instead of projecting his tough-guy image, Cane was vulnerable with me. He obviously didn’t care what anyone thought of him anymore.

  “She’ll come back, Cane. She’ll realize she doesn’t belong there.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “You could always go there and see her.”

  He shook his head. “No. I’m not going to do that. I’d be invading her space.”

  “You could just say you were in town and ask her to dinner or something. No pressure.”

  Cane stared at the picture frame in silence.

  “I wish I could help you, Cane. I don’t like seeing you like this.”

  His eyes turned back to me, and the affection emerged in his eyes. “I know. I don’t know what to do. I’m usually aggressive and just take what I want, but that won’t work for me now. Everything I’ve ever learned in my life doesn’t apply here.”

  “Yeah, it seems that way.”

  “A part of me wishes I’d never fallen for her. Another part wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  I left my desk and opened the cabinet. I poured two glasses of scotch and handed one to him. “Our lives used to be so much easier before the women came.”

  He chuckled then took a drink. “I’ll drink to that.”

  “But I know what you mean. I wouldn’t want it any other way.” I drank from my glass and watched my brother on the other side of the desk. “I used to hate sharing my space, but now I hate it when Pearl isn’t sleeping beside me. I used to enjoy my solitude, but I hate it when we aren’t together, even for a few hours. Now I’m dependent on this woman for my happiness. It’s scary sometimes.”

  He looked down into his glass with a sad expression. “I know that feeling…all too well.”

  * * *

  When I came home, Button was on the third floor, but she wasn’t in our bedroom. I found her in one of the guest bedrooms, one that hadn’t been used in a decade. It had a king-size bed, Italian furniture, and plenty of space for two people. She stood with her hands on her hips and surveyed the area.

  I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist.

  She didn’t flinch at my touch, like she’d been expecting me all along. Her hands glided over my arms until she reached my hands as they sat on her stomach. Her fingertips brushed against my black ring, and I could feel her metal band rub against me.

  My face moved into her neck, and I kissed her, feeling her pulse right against my lips. My breath fell across her skin, entering her ear canal. “What are you doing in here?”

  She turned her head and looked at me over her shoulder. “Seeing if this room is a good fit.”

  “A good fit for what?”

  “The baby.”

  I hadn’t thought that far into the future. She wasn’t even truly starting to show yet, so I was still just grasping the fact that there was a little person growing inside her.

  “I thought we could make this into the baby’s room. There’s no balcony or bathroom, so there’s no hazards. And it’s right down the hall from our room, so I can get in here quickly if I need to.”

  “Excellent points.”

  “I thought we could repaint, set up a crib right in the middle of the room, and decorate it depending on what the gender is.”

  “When do we find that out?”

  “Not for a few months.”

  “Whatever you want to do, Button. It doesn’t matter to me.”

  “I kne
w you’d say that.” She turned around, sliding through my arms until we were facing each other. She rose on her tiptoes and kissed me on the mouth, a subtle kiss packed with passion.

  My hand slid into her hair, and I deepened the kiss, appreciating her in a way I never had before. Cane wasn’t the same man he used to be after he lost the woman he loved. Button and I could have easily had a different destiny. If we both hadn’t been at the right place at the right time, our paths might never have crossed. I wouldn’t love someone more than anything else in this world, and I wouldn’t be starting a family. Everything worked out for me. I wished it had worked out for Cane.

  When Pearl pulled away, she ran her hands up my chest. “We’ve never had sex on this bed…”

  “We haven’t had sex on a lot of these beds.”

  “Well, you wanna start?” she asked, giving me a playful smile.

  “You want to defile every bedroom in this house?”

  “Why not?”

  I grinned. “Even Lars’s bed?”

  “Ew, no,” she said with a laugh. “Just the unclaimed ones.”

  “Alright.” I lifted her up and carried her to the bed. “Let’s start now.”

  * * *

  A month came and went.

  Button’s belly started to show. Now it was slightly distended and round, pressing through her shirt to give her a noticeable mound. I’d never been into pregnant women, but once she started to show, I found it distinctly arousing.

  But it was probably because she was my wife—and that was my baby.

  I lay beside her in bed and rubbed her bare stomach. My hand traveled down her chest and tilted once I reached the part of her tummy that curved outward. I moved up, feeling the soft skin as it swelled with the life growing inside her. I moved to the center of her stomach and pressed my hand against it. There was no movement or sign of life, but I knew there was something beautiful in there.

  Something we made together.

  She rested her hand on mine. “I don’t think we’ll feel anything for a while.”

  “I wonder how big they are.”

  “Probably the size of my finger.”