Buttons and Grace

by Penelope Sky

  I sat up and kissed her stomach, lavishing the area with kisses. Now that I saw signs of the baby, it made me realize it was really happening. We had a son or daughter on the way. That made me excited and scared at the same time. “It’s strange…”

  “What?” she asked.

  “How much I love this baby when I’ve never met them.” I pressed my ear to her stomach and wondered if I would hear something. It was quiet inside, nothing but her pulse and the rumbling of her stomach.

  Her eyes softened as she ran her fingers through my hair. “You’re going to be a great father, Crow.”

  “I don’t know. I’ll do my best.”

  “You never thought you would be a great husband, but you’re the best in the world.”

  My eyes left her gaze, and I looked at her stomach again, thinking of the way I’d slapped her after she returned from seeing Tristan. I was brutal and cold, losing my temper and doing something horrifying. It was one of my biggest regrets.

  “What?” She picked up on my sudden shift in mood.

  My hand moved across her stomach, and I stared at her belly button. “Nothing.”

  “Crow,” she pressed, looking at me with those demanding eyes.

  “I guess I don’t agree with your statement.”

  “Why?”

  “I just don’t.”

  “Well, you’re wrong, Crow. There’s no safer place in the world than by your side.”

  I appreciated her love for me, her acceptance and patience. I wasn’t the same man I used to be, and while I’d grown and become a better man, I still had things to change. All I could do was learn from my mistakes and improve. My weapons business was gone, and now I was a clean man. I had a chance to start over, to be the person I wanted to be. I didn’t have to be the cold and brooding man I’d always been. I could be something much better.

  There was a knock on the door.

  It was nine in the evening, the time when Button and I retired to bed, made love, and went to sleep. Lars didn’t disturb us after eight unless it was an emergency.

  And that knock told me this was an emergency.

  “Your Grace?” Lars said through the closed door. “I need to speak with you.”

  Pearl wore a worried expression as she looked at me.

  I got out of bed, pulled on sweatpants and a t-shirt, and walked out. I shut the door behind me since Button was still naked in bed. “What is it?”

  Lars stepped back, still wearing his tuxedo despite the late hour. “I have the police on the phone. They tried calling your cell, but I guess it’s off. They called the house phone.”

  I usually turned off my phone at night because I didn’t want to be bothered. I didn’t have a criminal business anymore, so I wasn’t on call during the late hours of the night. “The police? Why?”

  “Apparently, Cane was arrested for drinking and driving.”

  I stared at my butler with the same expression on my face. I was in disbelief, but I didn’t let the surprise creep into my face. I was too stunned to even react.

  “They aren’t going to press charges, but they want you to go down there and pick him up. They’re willing to look the other way on the matter since you and Cane have always gone out of your way to ensure their safety over the years.”

  Cane and I never hurt a police officer, and neither did our men. Lots of criminal things had gone down during the years, and anytime the police were in a place they shouldn’t be, we directed them away from the warfare. The kind of heists we were performing exceeded their abilities, and the last thing we wanted was good officers to be hurt because of our actions. They were better suited for homicides and petty crime, not drug lords and weapons kingpins. “Fuck.”

  “I would go in your stead, but they specifically asked for you.”

  “I’ll handle it. Thank you, Lars.”

  “Of course, sir.” He nodded then walked away.

  I walked back into the room and pulled on my jeans and a long-sleeved shirt.

  “What happened?” Button sat up in bed with the sheets pulled over her chest. Her hair was a mess from the way I’d dug my hand into it, and her lips were swollen from the way I’d sucked them so aggressively just thirty minutes ago.

  “Cane is down at the police station.”

  “What?” Button blurted. “Why?”

  I pulled my jacket over my shoulders. “Drinking and driving.”

  Her eyes grew wider. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “I wish I were. I have to go.”

  “Maybe I should—”

  “Your ass is staying here.” I walked out of the bedroom and shut the door harder than I meant to.

  * * *

  Cane hadn’t just been drinking and driving.

  He was totally wasted.

  He sat in the cell alone with his eyes drooping. He kept sliding down across the bench before he righted himself and sat straight. The officer told me he’d vomited a few times when I was on my way over there.

  The police officer stood with me in front of the bars. “We spotted him driving down a country road. He was swerving left and right constantly. It took us a while to pull him over because he didn’t seem to understand we were the police. I tried to question him, but I got mostly nonsense. I never see either of you in trouble with the law, at least like this. Everything okay?”

  I’d thought Cane was getting better with every passing day. But apparently, he was only getting worse. Adelina’s departure was still haunting him. “He’s going through a bad breakup.”

  “Doesn’t justify that kind of behavior. He could have killed someone.”

  “I know…” What if Button was on the road to pick something up from the store, and she got in Cane’s way? It was a possibility too difficult to imagine.

  “We’re going to let it go this time. But that’s it.”

  * * *

  “I understand. And thank you.”

  “His car has been impounded. You’ll have to get it in the morning.” He unlocked the cell door and pulled it open. “Cane, someone is here to take you home.”

  He jolted awake and opened his eyes to look at me. He stared at me blankly like he didn’t recognize who I was. But a moment later, understanding came into his expression, and he knew exactly who I was. “Fuck…”

  “Get up.” I wasn’t going to give him a hand. He’d have to walk out of there on his own.

  Cane moved at a snail’s pace, holding on to everything he could before he could stand on his two feet. He swayed from side to side gently, closing his eyes as he tried to concentrate. In order for him to be this drunk, he would have had to have had more liquor than I could even conceive of. We both drank around the clock, so we were used to it. So for him to get this drunk meant his blood alcohol level must be through the roof.

  I signed him out, and then we walked to my car outside. I refused to help him into the passenger’s side. I let him struggle, and he even hit his head on the top of the car as he slid into the seat. It took him nearly five minutes to get his safety belt on, but I didn’t wait around. I drove on while he continued to figure it out.

  We spent the drive in silence, and Cane floated in and out of consciousness the entire time. He didn’t say a single word to me, knowing I was pissed.

  We arrived at his house twenty minutes later, and I was tempted to go back home to my wife. I wanted to sleep in my bed with my woman beside me. I wanted to listen to her breathe so I would know she was okay. I wanted my baby to be beside me, to protect both of them from every bad thing in the world.

  But I couldn’t leave Cane alone, not when he was this drunk.

  He could choke on his own vomit and die.

  We got inside the house, and he didn’t make it any farther than the couch. He collapsed on the cushions and pulled his knees to his chest. His eyes closed, and he immediately drifted off to sleep.

  I sat in the armchair and pulled out my phone. I’m staying here tonight.

  Button texted back. Is he okay?
/>   He’s fine. But he won’t be when he wakes up tomorrow morning.

  * * *

  Cane didn’t wake up until noon the next day.

  Gerald made me breakfast and coffee, and I watched TV in the living room while I waited for Cane to get up. I should have been at work taking care of business or been at home with my wife. But instead, I was stuck here making sure Cane didn’t need a ride to the hospital.

  When he finally woke up, he dragged his hands down his face and groaned. His fingers moved to his temples, and I knew he was fighting a migraine.

  Still didn’t feel bad for him.

  He finally righted himself on the couch and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. It took him nearly five minutes to understand I was sitting in the armchair beside him. He obviously had no memory of the previous evening. He probably had no idea how he got home. Maybe he didn’t even remember the police station. “Crow…?”

  “Yes.” I stared him down, disappointment burning in my eyes. “Feel like shit?”

  “A bit.”

  “Good.” I tossed a bottle of pain pills at him.

  He barely caught it before he popped the lid off and dumped two pills in his mouth. He swallowed them dry even though Gerald already left a glass of water on the sofa table. Cane rubbed his temple again then leaned back against the cushions, looking exhausted even though he’d just slept twelve hours straight.

  “What the fuck, Cane?” I wasn’t just pissed at him for his recklessness. I was disappointed. After everything we’d been through, how could be so careless with his own life? He was about to be an uncle. He had a brother who lived right down the road. None of that meant anything to him.

  “Don’t be pissed at me, but…what happened last night?”

  Wow. “You were arrested for driving drunk. I picked you up at the police station and brought you here.”

  He rubbed his jaw and groaned. “Fuck.”

  “I stayed here so you wouldn’t choke on your own puke, but I should have been at home with my family.”

  He bowed his head, squinting his eyes in shame.

  “What the fuck were you thinking?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?” he asked. “I wasn’t thinking at all.”

  “Is that an excuse?” I asked incredulously. “You could have killed someone last night.”

  “I know…”

  “I don’t think you do, asshole. That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen you do, and I’ve seen you do a lot of stupid shit.”

  “I went out with a few guys in Florence…had too much to drink…got carried away.”

  “But why would you get that carried away?”

  He stared at the floor. “You know why, Crow.”

  Adelina. “Just because she’s gone doesn’t mean you have to sabotage your own life.”

  “I haven’t spoken to her in a month. She hasn’t called. She said she missed me, and then I never heard from her…”

  “Doesn’t matter. Be a man and carry on.”

  “Would you carry on if this was Pearl?”

  No. I would never get over losing her. “Not the same thing.”

  “It is the same thing.”

  “No, I would never get wasted then get behind the wheel. And I can say that with complete confidence.”

  He dragged his hands down his face again. “I know it was stupid.”

  “Fucking stupid.”

  “I’ll never do it again.”

  “Better not.”

  “I’m surprised the police let me go.”

  “They said they would give us a warning. But they won’t be so nice next time.”

  He nodded. “That was good of them.”

  “I don’t think so. I think they should have put you in prison for a few weeks to let the message sink in.”

  He sighed. “Cut me some slack. I said I was sorry and I won’t do it again—”

  “Cut you some slack?” I was on my feet instantly, ready for a fight even though guns weren’t drawn. “No, I’m not cutting you any goddamn slack. You’re all the family I have left in the world, Cane. It’s just you and me. We’re all that’s left. If I lost you…” I couldn’t even finish the thought. Cane meant more to me than anyone in the family ever did. He pissed me off, drove me insane, made me want to kill him sometimes, but at the end of the day, he was my brother. I could always rely on him no matter what. I knew if something bad happened to me, he would take my place and look after Button and my baby. It was the kind of loyalty that only existed in family.

  Cane looked up at me, the devastation in his eyes.

  “I’m sorry you’re upset about Adelina. Really, I am. I wish it had worked out. But nearly killing yourself isn’t the solution. If you want to get drunk like that again, do it here. Don’t ever make a mistake like that again. I mean it.”

  “I won’t,” he whispered.

  “I need your word, Cane.”

  “You have my word…”

  I walked out of the living room without looking at him again. “I don’t want to see you for a week. I can’t even look at you right now…”

  Chapter 22

  Adelina

  I rented a house just a few blocks away from my parents.

  My parents weren’t thrilled about me leaving and tried whatever they could to get me to stay, but I needed my own space. When I told them I found a nice little house just down the street, they finally accepted the situation since I’d be so close. When they went to work in the morning, they would drive past my house every single day.

  I enrolled in school for my teaching credentials, going to the same college where I got my undergraduate degree. The attention of the media had finally started to disappear now that a month had come and gone. The news cycle changed, and they were more interested in the next election.

  I was finally left in peace.

  But there was no denying the fact that I was one of the most famous people in the country. When I went to the grocery store, people stared. When cars passed me on the road, drivers did a double take. If I went for a walk outside my house, people snapped pictures of me on their phones.

  I didn’t like it.

  But I kept my head down and did my best to ignore them.

  My house was nice. It was small with two bedrooms, a decent size living room, and a cute kitchen. I didn’t need a lot of space because it was just me. It made the rent cheaper, so that was also a perk. I used Cane’s money to pay for my first semester of school as well as my rent. I wanted to get a job, but since people were still so interested in me, I thought it was too soon.

  I hoped I would have a normal life eventually.

  I thought about Cane every single day. He was in my thoughts first thing in the morning, in the middle of the day, and then when I went to sleep. He was usually in my dreams too, and I was surprised a lot of them were sexual in nature.

  My body missed the sex.

  But I missed the rest of him too.

  I wondered if he was thinking about me when I was thinking about him. I wondered if he wanted to call. I wondered why I didn’t call.

  The last time I’d spoken to him on the phone, I slipped up and told him I missed him.

  Imagine what else I would say if I spoke to him on a regular basis. It wouldn’t help me move on. It wouldn’t help me get back on my feet. It would just hold me back as I tried to move forward with my life.

  The campus was exactly as I remembered it, but now it was totally different.

  Because all the students knew exactly who I was.

  Every time I wanted to talk to a guy I thought was cute, he usually steered clear of me. Making friends was a lot harder than it used to be because people treated me like some infectious disease. Group assignments were awkward. Members of the group would meet up without me and finish the project without asking for my input.

  They avoided me.

  I knew they didn’t hate me for what happened. I knew they just didn’t know how to act. They didn’t know what to say since I’d been trafficked and
used as a sex slave. It’s not like we needed to have a discussion about it, but just having them look at me made me uncomfortable.

  I was in my hometown, but it felt like a different planet.

  It didn’t feel right.

  The only thing that hadn’t changed were my parents. They treated me like I was delicate, but they were just as happy to see me as they’d always been. My mom still made dinner for me and dropped it off because she knew I wasn’t much of a cook.

  I missed Gerald.

  I missed the smell of the Tuscan countryside, the way the olive branches stuck out and brought shade to the backyard. I missed the sight of the vineyards, the smell of wine. I missed sleeping in that enormous bed with supersoft sheets.

  And I missed the man I spent my time with.

  Would this feeling ever go away?

  Or was Cane right about everything?

  This place wasn’t my home anymore.

  He was home.

  I had dinner in front of the TV that night then did some work on my computer. My teaching credential program was all about papers and group projects. In a few months, I would be placed into a classroom for my student teaching. I looked forward to that the most. That was the aspect of the job that excited me. I wanted to work with kids every day, to impact their lives the way they impacted mine.

  But I had to do this first.

  I finished my work then went to bed. I’d bought new furniture since my parents didn’t want to part with my old things. They wanted to hold on to it because it still contained my essence. If I ever got married and moved away, they wanted me to have somewhere to stay when I visited.

  I couldn’t picture myself getting married.

  No man even wanted to look at me.

  I was damaged goods to them. I was disgusting. I was a victim.

  I lay in the dark but couldn’t sleep. I had class first thing in the morning, but that didn’t make my eyes shut. I stared at the ceiling, wearing the shirt I’d stolen from Cane. I wondered if he’d noticed the theft over the last few weeks. Or maybe he had so many shirts he didn’t even care.

  I stared at my phone, and a sinking sensation started in my stomach.