Cole (The Leaves)

by Hartnett, J. B.

  “Well, if it isn’t snowing when we get there, we’ll stay until it does.”

  “I love you Cole Carlyle.”

  “I love you too, Anika Redding.”

  Cole 14

  Anika

  A couple of days later I rolled over to grabbed the phone from beside the bed and looked at the time: five o’ eight a.m.

  “Who is it?” Asked a sleepy and concerned Cole.

  “It’s Aimes.” I took a deep breath and Cole sat up and took my other hand. She was well into her fourth month of pregnancy and even though I understood this to be the time you’re technically out of the woods, a five a.m. phone call was cause for concern to say the least; especially since she was in Dallas, introducing the future in-laws.

  “No one died.” She blurted.

  Phew. That’s a relief.

  “You’re okay?” I asked. My heart thudding away.

  “I’m sorry to worry you; I just couldn’t wait any longer.”

  “Wait for what?”

  “Don’t kill me, okay?” Oh, I was going to kill her. I was going to kill her for scaring the crap out of me.

  “Spill, Aimes.”

  “Here goes, you know how Gus and I went to Dallas to see his folks?” She had picked up the lingo – folks, not parents. “And, well, you know my parents came along to meet my future in-laws?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And you know how that dress I bought was getting a little tight?”

  “Did you call me at five in the morning to tell me you bought a new dress without me?”

  “No, Inky. I called to tell you we went to City Hall in downtown Dallas and got married yesterday. Gus arranged the license and everything and, well…” I said nothing for a good minute. “You’re pissed, aren’t you? I told you she’d be pissed.” She said this to someone, presumably Gus. “I’m sorry Ink. I just didn’t want to be any bigger in the pictures and my boobs are getting big and my belly has already popped out and –”

  “I’m not mad, Aimes.”

  “You’re not?!” She squealed.

  “No, I’m not.”

  “What is it?” Cole asked.

  I smiled from ear to ear. “She and Gus got married.”

  “Give me the phone.” Cole snatched it from my hands. “Aimes? You’re on speaker. Congratulations.”

  “Thanks Cole. Is she mad?”

  “No, she’s smiling and if I’m not mistaken she has tears in her eyes.”

  “You’re not supposed to tell her that.” I admonished.

  “Sorry, Inky. It’s my fault.” Gus had joined the conversation now, too.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there, but I couldn’t be happier for you both and that’s the truth. Can you guys do me a favor though?”

  “Anything, Ink.” Aimes said eagerly.

  “Don’t make any plans for New Year’s Eve.” Cole sat up behind me and wrapped his legs around mine. “Because you’re not gonna miss our wedding.”

  Her scream must’ve scared the hell out of anyone around her. “Oh, I thought I was gonna have to wait forever. Thank you for doing it soon! Oh my golly gosh I can’t wait!”

  “Aimes? Golly gosh ?” I teased.

  I could hear her telling Gus she would just be a minute. “Okay, I’m in the bathroom. Yeah, Gus’s mom and dad are nice, church going, folk and Gus said they were excited about their grandbaby and were just happy we were getting married, even if we did do things out of order, but apparently taking the Lord’s name in vain is a big fat no-no. So, I’ve been trying to keep it PG and respectful. But, as soon as I get out of ear shot, the F bomb is coming out to play.”

  Cole got up and headed downstairs. I took Aimes off speaker. “Aimes?”

  “Where’s Cole?”

  “I think he went to start the coffee earlier than the timer. Or he knew I needed to talk to you.”

  “Talk to me, Ink. What’s going on?”

  “Do you remember when I told you how in love I was with Evan and I was worried something bad was gonna happen?”

  “Actually, yeah. I do. And?”

  “And something bad did happen? And now I’m with someone who I can’t imagine breathing without. Well, I’m fucking freaking out.”

  She took a breath. “Okay. Well, call me crazy Ink, but I think the bad thing already happened. I mean, you know, the whole Joe thing was pretty fucked up.” She whispered the ‘fucked up’ just in case.

  “Geez, will you listen to me? You’re married! Did you go out to dinner? What did you wear? There better at least be pictures.”

  “Inky, it’s okay. Don’t feel like you can’t talk to me about this stuff. I don’t care about the timing. I want to know you’re okay. Believe me when I tell you, the Joe thing? Fucked. Up.”

  “It’s not that I don’t believe you. I do. And Cole found me this great shrink to talk to. I just don’t ever want this feeling to end. This euphoria. It seems like any time something good happens to me, karma, or whatever, finds a way to balance it out with something, really, really bad.”

  “I know what you’re saying. So how about this, why don’t we just keep each other in check. How about every… let’s say Friday, but we can change it any time. Let’s say every Friday at one in the afternoon, we check in with each other. Like, a happiness check-in. And we can talk about whatever. We can talk about our euphoria as you put it. Maybe you just need to take stock of all the good things, ya know?”

  “That’s why you’re my bestie, Aimes. I’m really happy for you. I’m so glad I pushed you.”

  “Me too, Ink. I better go. They’ll start to get worried about me. Tell Cole I’m sorry I called so early, but it was killing me.”

  “Tell them to come over to celebrate when they get back and we can give them their present.” Cole handed me a cup of magic coffee.

  “Cole said come over when you guys get back. We have a wedding gift for you.”

  “We will. I love you, Inky.”

  “I love you, too. Take care of you and that little alien.”

  “I will. Bye.”

  She hung up before I could say goodbye. I just sat there and stared at the phone in the dark. The only light coming from a small lamp Cole turned on in the corner of the room. “Anika?”

  “Is it totally selfish of me to cry?”

  “Give me your cup.” He took it and set it on the nightstand.

  “How’d you make coffee so fast?”

  “I’m just cool like that. Come here.” He pulled me to straddle him and hugged me. “Happy tears? Sad tears? What kind of cry are we talking about here? Just so I know what I’m dealing with.”

  I laughed through my sobs. “Stupid tears. Nostalgia, I think. Everything changed and it happened so fast, but it’s good, you know? Everything’s good. I’m just trying to catch up. So, happy tears, but bittersweet.”

  “Hey, look at me.” He tipped my chin to look in my eyes. “Now you get to make new memories with your friend. She and Gus will be at the wedding…”

  “I bet she’ll move to Texas. Her parents would go there, too. They’d want to be near their grandchild.”

  “Texas is not Iceland. It’s only a few hours on an airplane. And they just bought their house didn’t they? I don’t think they’ll leave just yet. Aimes will want to be near her mom when she has the baby, and you. And what about when we have a child, she’ll want to be near you too.”

  This was not something we’d discussed. We probably should have, it just never came up. “Anika? Hey, before you check out, try to stay focused on me for a second. What’s going on? Try to talk to me.” I would’ve loved to discuss this, but something was choking me. “Look at me Anika!” He scolded. He’d never spoken to me like that before, but it sure as hell worked.

  “Y-yes?” I answered carefully.

  “It’s just you and me. We are the only two people that matter right here, right now… nothing you can say will make me change my mind about us. Nothing. I suppose we’ve never talked about kids. Do you not want children
?”

  “I-I don’t know.”

  “Why? Because you’ve never thought about it? You never thought you’d meet the right guy?”

  He wasn’t pushing me; he was actually trying to communicate with me like normal people do in a relationship. “I do know, actually.” I said with growing confidence in my voice. I could be honest with him. “She told me I was the reason he left. I was her punishment. She had to suffer my stupidity.”

  “She was a sick woman, Anika.”

  “Do you want kids, Cole?”

  “You probably won’t believe this, but I never did until I met you. It was always implied with Emma, but I don’t think she would’ve gone through with it. But with you, that child would be a product of our love for each other.”

  “So, that’s a yes.”

  “I’m good either way. But don’t think for one second you’re not enough for me. I guess I never asked because it’s not important to me. But if you change your mind an hour from now or five years from now, I’m alright with that.”

  “Right now, I just want to lie next to you and watch the light change while the sun comes up.”

  He pulled me back down next to him and held me. My head on his shoulder, my hand on his chest, while he spun my engagement ring with his fingers.

  “I always thought I’d be good at it though.”

  “What?” I could hear the sleepiness in his voice.

  “Being a mom. I think I’d be good at it.”

  “I know you would. But we don’t have to worry about that now. We have so much to do before we even think about that. You’re not even thirty. You have a long time before your clock starts to tick or whatever it is they say. But we can get all the practice in we want to now.”

  “Are my sexy cupcake flannel pajama’s making you hot?”

  “You have no idea. Why do you think I bought ‘em?”

  ***

  The weather changed quickly over the next couple of weeks. All of the sudden it was winter in Southern California. One day it was ninety-five degrees and a day later it was thirty-five.

  Cole and I met Gus and Aimes at the front door. “I thought I’d open the door so you don’t have to experience the awkward, ‘what do I do with my pie’ moment.” We both laughed and hugged. We’d hardly seen each other since they returned from Texas. Apparently she’d gone into full on baby planning mode, which had also become a mother/daughter task. I was always invited, but I didn’t want to intrude. We’d have our own time together.

  “Come on in. Wait till you see this place, Aimes. It is incredible.” I lead her through the entry and into the large enclosed patio area. Cole told me it’s called a conservatory. Well, whatever it is, it was beautifully decorated and we were there enjoying pre-Thanksgiving dinner canapé’s.

  “Inky.” She motioned to me in a whisper. “Have you ever had Thanksgiving finger foods? I mean that wasn’t cheese from a can on little crackers?”

  “Please don’t make me laugh, Aimes. I can’t say that I have, but you know this is all new for them. Cole and I are having Christmas at his place. You guys want to come by? It’ll be more what we’re used to.”

  “We can at night. I’ll bring pie.” We laughed.

  “Gentlemen, would you care to join me?” Richard Carlyle stood ominously in the doorway like the force he was. Gus gave him the It’s alright man look and they followed him through the open French doors.

  “Mrs. Carlyle, thanks for having us.” Aimes thanked Trish and tried to not look uncomfortable.

  “Of course! I hope we didn’t overdo it. I haven’t hosted a holiday in years. Unless it’s a cocktail party, I don’t really know how to do the intimate family thing.”

  “It’s really nice.” Aimes didn’t say much more. We talked about her recent trip to Texas and my upcoming nuptials. Party planning was definitely Trish’s forte. As soon as we told her we’d picked a date, it was full steam ahead. I gave her carte blanche to do whatever she thought would be appropriate. I gave her a list of people we wanted there and Cole asked her not to deviate from that request. He wasn’t a showy guy and he didn’t want our wedding to become a business meeting for his father.

  We sat around a giant table. A least three feet of space was between Cole and me. Gus and Aimes sat across from us. Trish and Richard were at each end, but it wasn’t clear who was at the actual head of the table.

  Each place setting had a beautiful little cornucopia with sugared fruits which I discovered were actual candy. It was the kind of thing you saw in a shop for twenty bucks each, but apparently these were party favors and not something you boxed up for next Thanksgiving.

  When the turkey was brought in by the housekeeper, I heard an audible gasp from Aimes. I looked at her, she looked at me, I looked at Cole, he looked at his mom, and Richard stood up. He held up the carving knife and fork and thanked the housekeeper.

  “Patricia?” Richard studied the beast – and that’s the only way to describe it – for an appropriate place to begin carving.

  “Yes, Richard?” I could hear her trying desperately to stifle a laugh.

  “How many people were you expecting today?”

  “Six.”

  “Well, dear, this is not a turkey, this is a parade float.” The entire table burst into laughter. I couldn’t even see the top of Gus’ head over the giant bird.

  Gus was the first to speak, “About ten years back, my pop kept feeding a turkey he bought from the neighbor who raises ‘em. He told my mom to just buy a frozen one from the market. He wanted to see if he could fatten it up for next Christmas. Well, I was supposed to be there the next Christmas, but it turned out I couldn’t get leave. So my pop told her to wait until I was coming home for sure. Three years he fattened up that damn bird. I finally said I was coming home for sure and my pop yells out to Mom, ‘tell ‘em all Christmas at our house this year.’ I get there and we had cousins and aunts and uncles, friends from church. That bird weighed in at thirty-four pounds and that was after he’d killed and cleaned it. I reckon this bird here is around twenty-five pounds.”

  I was laughing so hard I had tears coming down my cheeks. “Gus?” Richard asked. “Would you like to carve this turkey because honestly, I wouldn’t even know where to begin?”

  Huh, Richard Carlyle can’t do something.

  “I’d be happy to.” Gus took the knife and fork from Richard and began to carve that bird with the ease of a seasoned butcher.

  I started to laugh again, but quickly realized I was the only one. “Anika, dear… are you feeling okay?” Trish asked.

  Gus carved a few pieces and returned to his seat. It was at that moment I decided to make a bold move. I wasn’t even sure what came over me, but decided to go with it. I reached to my left and took Cole’s hand then reached to my right and held my hand open to Richard’s. He looked at me like I had cooties, but tentatively wrapped his large hand around mine. Everyone else at the table followed suit.

  “I’ve always seen this in movies and TV shows, but I’ve never done it before, so, don’t judge me if I do it wrong. I just wanted to say that I’m thankful to everyone at this table. I know each of you played a part in bringing me home. I’m thankful for friends and I’m thankful that I finally have a family… and I’m thankful for this huge bird.” I could hear Aimes hiccupping with sobs. It wasn’t my intention to make anyone cry, so I thought I better throw something in to lighten the mood, “And I’m thankful that today I was a witness to the humbling of Richard Carlyle – turkey carving, finally, something you can’t do.”

  He gave my hand a squeeze and the tiniest of smiles lifted the side of his mouth.

  “Dig in everybody.” Trish lifted a platter of mashed potatoes and handed them to Cole, then she caught me with her gaze and gave me a little nod.

  Cole leaned into me as he handed me the bowl, “I love you. I’m speechless and turned on all at the same time. I can’t wait to get you home.”

  My smile must’ve been contagious, because when I handed the bowl
to Richard, I actually saw teeth.

  ***

  “So, next week I’ll pick you up and we’ll find some decorations and a tree.”

  “No, Mom. Anika and I are going to buy a tree together, but you feel free to get decorations.”

  “Fine then. Really Cole, you hog her all for yourself you know that?” She teased and pulled me into a hug. “Great toast” she said quietly into my shoulder. “Not a dry eye in the house.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that.” I said trying to pull away, but she held me still.

  “I do. This was very special to all of us, dear. Thank you for making us a family again.”

  I decided not to respond. If I even dared, there might be crying on my part and that was something I’d been doing enough of to last a lifetime.

  “Aimes, Gus….don‘t move!” I grabbed two bags from a side table and gave one to Gus and one to Aimes. “The brown bag has your pie plates and leftovers.” I winked at Aimes, “I’m pretty sure there’s enough turkey there to last you a week solid… and the other one is your wedding gift. Don’t let the size of the bag fool you. Oh, and it was Cole’s idea.” Aimes looked to Gus for guidance on whether they should open it now or wait. “Open it, please.” I pleaded.

  “Okay, okay.” She said and opened the bag to reveal a large envelope. She pulled out the four by six embossed card and looked from me to Cole to Gus and back to the card again. “Dude. Inky. This is too much.”

  “No. Trust me, it’ll never be enough where you’re concerned.” Cole wanted to send Gus and Aimes on a honeymoon, but I knew she would’ve felt awkward about it. She also didn’t want to travel too far just in case she had any complications. There was a beautiful resort locally and it turned out they offered a great honeymoon package. Cole suggested we include the pre-natal spa package, so that I could join her while he and Gus go golfing.

  “Do you golf Gus?” Cole asked.

  “As a matter of fact, I do.”

  “I’m not very good” Cole explained. “But I like driving the buggy around and drinking beer all day.